A/N: Thank you again! You are all wonderful. I love reading what you have to say about the story. I'm really enjoying writing this one.
There's some good stuff in this one, I think. Hope you agree. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
The following three days were different, to say the least. Felicity learned quickly she would be getting no work done during Alice's waking hours. When Oliver returned she turned over care of her for as long as she could in a frantic attempt to do as much as possible, but it was never enough. By the time Thursday night came she was exhausted and stressed and having a hard time keeping it to herself.
He'd sent her a text from the car saying he and Digg were swinging by the lair before he returned to the house. That was at nine.
At midnight she started sending texts of her own, to both Oliver and Digg.
When they didn't respond she called.
When it went to voice mail she broke her own rules and used her laptop to track their GPS signatures. They both were in motion and seemed to be on their way back to the lair.
A little before one she got a message from Digg telling her Oliver was coming back on his own.
She was waiting for him when he arrived. She sat part way up the main staircase, baby monitor turned down low at her side. She'd seen red when she'd found it after two days of feeling like she couldn't go ten feet from the nursery. The monitor gave her some freedom of movement at least.
The lights were off and she left them that way. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and the little bit of moonlight that shone through the windows illuminated patches of floor here and there.
When she heard the bike rumble into the drive and the cut of the headlight through the windows she tensed.
Felicity was pissed.
The door pushed open slowly. There was a slackness to his shoulders that wasn't normally there but she ignored it.
He hadn't taken two steps when she burst to her feet.
"Oliver Queen! Just what in the hell do you think you were doing?" she hissed as quietly as she could. "Since when do you go off on missions and not tell me? Since when do you not answer your phone? This...what happened tonight...this is not okay. I know everything is crazy and different and we're still trying to figure all this out, but that doesn't mean that the new plan is I stay home. You need to decide if I'm your partner or your nanny, because I don't think I can be both!"
He'd barely looked in her direction when she started her tirade. It took her a few beats to realize he was moving slow and seemed very focused on just putting one foot in front of the other. When he got to the newel post he leaned against it heavily and raised his eyes to hers.
Light fell across his face and whatever anger she'd felt fell away as she saw the tension, and pain, as well as how pale he was.
"Can I give you my answer after you stitch me up?" he said raggedly,
"What happened?" she asked immediately, hurrying down the remaining steps to stand before him, hands hovering over the front of his jacket. There was a dark stain on his front left side.
"Oh god! Why didn't you have Digg do this before you left?" she demanded as she began to frantically pull his shirt up in order to get a better look.
He hissed through his teeth as the fabric scraped over the area. She blanched when she saw the wound. It was deep, and still bleeding. The waist band of his jeans were crusted with drying blood.
Without thought she placed her hand over it and pressed. He groaned, and gripped the railing tighter.
"It was a bad night, I just wanted it to end." he said, "I just wanted to come home."
Her heart flipped at his words and she admonished herself. She had no reason to think he meant he wanted to come home to her.
When his knees sagged she swapped hands and slipped beneath his arm, wrapping her now bloodstained hand around his waist. "Come on, we can't do this here. If Thea or Raisa see you we'll have even more problems to deal with."
She'd never know how she got him up the stairs and into his room. His weight was almost fully on her shoulders, his feet practically dragging as they approached the bed.
She tried to ease him down gradually but he ended up collapsing. She was pulled down with him, her right arm trapped behind his back as she tried to keep pressure on his wound with her other.
"Oliver!" she cried out, fear beginning to climb within her that he was seriously hurt.
He managed to grunt in response as she tugged her arm from underneath him.
"Oliver, talk to me!" she demanded, leaning over him.
His eyes blinked open slowly and tried to focus on her.
"Good," she said, letting out a quick, relieved exhale. "That's good. I need your help. If I'm going to close this wound I need supplies. Do you have any here, or am I going to need to call Digg?"
His head lolled slightly to the side and then back again. "Bathroom...there's a suture kit."
She didn't waste any time in racing to find what she needed. Her hands were smeared with his blood, and the one time she let herself look at them her stomach rolled.
She snatched the nearest towel off a rack and wiped them furiously before opening and closing numerous drawers. In the back of one she found what she needed.
A thought struck her as she exited the bathroom and she cursed under her breath for forgetting the baby monitor. She looked quickly at Oliver who was breathing shallowly but seemed no worse than when she had left him. She darted down the stairs and grabbed the monitor before turning around and running back. The lock on the door fell shut with a loud click and she returned to his side.
The lamp on the bedside table didn't give off much light, but it was the best she had. Oliver's face looked grey, and her heart rate increased as she hovered over him.
With difficulty she got him out of his jacket and used scissors to cut straight up the front of his t-shirt instead of trying to pull it off of him.
The wound was almost two inches long, and looked like it had been done with a jagged blade. Her concerns immediately turned to any internal damage he may have received.
"Oliver!" she said desperately, shaking his shoulder. "Oliver!" she tried again, cupping his jaw with one hand and forcing his head to turn towards her.
His lashes lifted slightly until she could barely see his eyes. "Listen to me, okay. I have to know how deep it went in." when he didn't respond she shook him again, "Oliver! Answer me! How deep did it go in?"
She was seconds away from calling an ambulance, consequences be damned when he answered.
"Not very deep, just...messy." he slurred.
Relief flowed through her, "Okay, that's good. That's very, very good."
His eyes fell shut again, for which she was grateful. The kit didn't include anything to numb the area. She knew he would have endured it silently if he'd been awake, but she was glad he didn't have to.
With a flush she eyed his jeans. The waist lay just below the injury and would make it hard to get to.
"Holy crap, I can't believe I'm doing this." she muttered to herself before she reached for the button.
Getting the pants off him proved to be so difficult any embarrassment she had disappeared as she wiped sweat off her brow with her arm.
When she was finished she gave herself a second to appreciate the sight of Oliver in nothing but his boxers. The trickle of blood that ran from his wound jolted her back to reality.
Digg had insisted she learn how to suture. She hated it. She'd rather deal with cables, and cords than blood. But, she had to admit, as often as he and Oliver got hurt it made sense. She'd never had to do it herself though. Not alone, with Oliver unconscious, and his sister sleeping down the hall, and Tommy's baby in the nursery.
That familiar flutter of panic began again and she had to squash it down.
It took her longer than it would have taken Digg, but in relatively short order she'd cleaned the area, put in eight neat stitches, and taped a bandage in place.
She didn't start shaking until she went into the bathroom to throw away the remains of the kit.
The water ran pink as she washed her hands, blood still caked under her nails where it had dried when she'd put the gloves on. She needed him to wake up and be okay and tell her exactly what had happened.
He hadn't moved. She tugged the blankets out from underneath him and covered him up before drawing up a nearby chair and sinking into it.
Her hand came to rest on his wrist, fingers found his pulse and she left them there.
She curled up as best she could and tried to fight her drooping eyes. She wanted to be there when he woke up. Memories of him crashing on the table the night she'd found out his secret went through her mind and she shook her head sharply to rid herself of them.
Sleep had been the furthest thing from her mind, but she'd had so little the past week she was helpless to stop it. She woke up an hour later to Alice's pitiful cries.
Felicity wiped a hand across her face and rose from the chair, looking down at Oliver.
His color was better. She touched his forehead, and then his cheek but there was no fever. Alice cried again, pulling her from him.
She made her way to the nursery quickly. Alice quieted as soon as she was being held, but Felicity knew she'd want to eat. The last two nights she'd woken once for a bottle and then slept for another five hours, she was hoping tonight would prove to be the same.
There was no doubt she'd bring Alice and her bottle back to Oliver's room after she stopped in the kitchen. She considered the chair, but the unused expanse of his bed looked too inviting to ignore.
With the justification of being able to keep a closer watch over him she climbed in on the far side and adjusted a pillow under her arm before she fed the increasingly fussy Alice.
The bottle was drained in short order, and she merely sat it aside, too tired to get up. Alice's contented snuffles as Felicity patted her back got fewer and more far between until they were both once again asleep.
Quiet whispers, and happy baby gurgles drew her from the fog of sleep. When she cracked open one eye she saw she'd turned onto her side at some point, now facing Oliver. Alice lay between them, feet kicking as Oliver let her hold onto his fingers.
When Alice let out an overly excited squeal he shushed her gently. The hand he lay on her chest to quiet her some only made her squeal more as she tried to grab on to him.
Felicity couldn't help the grin the spread across her face. Her eyes traveled up his arm to find him solely focused on the baby, the pinched look between his brows was almost non existent.
Her head was close to his shoulder, only a few scant inches away. A surge of want went through her without warning. The desire that this is what she could wake up to every day almost took her breath away.
She shifted a bit and ran a hand through her hair, letting him know she was awake. "Looks like she's in a good mood." she said as evenly as possible.
He didn't seem to be surprised she was up, he never looked away from Alice as he spoke. "She's been up for a bit, not hungry, just wanted to be entertained."
"How are you?" she asked, looking down the broad, hardened planes of his chest to where she could just see the edge of the bandage peeking out from underneath the covers.
The calmness he'd felt slipped away. She watched as his demeanor changed. "I'm better than I was...thank you."
She wasn't angry anymore, but she still needed answers.
"Why did you do it?" she asked softly. "And why didn't Digg stop you?" He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes before turning to face her.
"I didn't give him much of a chance." he admitted, "I felt like I'd been failing in my duty to the city. The intel came in on Barerra's men and we needed to act. I knew it wasn't a smart decision to go in blind but I didn't see where we had another option."
Alice kicked out, and Felicity grabbed her little foot automatically, running her finger over the sole, unconsciously counting the toes as she digested what he said.
"Would you have been hurt if I had been in the lair?" her voice was low, betraying her frustration.
"Probably not." he said almost immediately. Her eyes slammed shut as she breathed through her nose in an attempt to keep herself calm.
"My question still stands, Oliver. Am I your partner, or am I your nanny?" she was committed to Alice, committed to Green Arrow and all that both of those entailed, but she didn't think she could do one or the other.
He was silent for a long time. Alice was quite occupied by trying to get one of his fingers into her mouth. His hand pulled away from the baby and settled on Felicity's bent thigh she almost jumped.
When he spoke it was so quiet she almost couldn't hear him. "I can't do this without you. Any of it."
She could hear her heart beat in her ears. She didn't dare move.
"I need you in my ear, in my head...in my life." he said throatily, his fingers digging slightly into her leg. "I'll do better."
"Okay then." she whispered back, the room silent now except for Alice.
It was a few minutes before he spoke again. "The meeting with the lawyers, and everyone else is in a few hours." he told her and she balked. The knowledge that soon there would be no more hiding was disconcerting. It would all be out there and their new life would begin, twenty four hours a day.
She pulled away from him and shoved herself backwards against the headboard.
"Wh...what are we going to tell them?" somehow in the past few days they'd never gotten around to discussing, what was quite possibly, the most important decision they'd ever make.
He gave her a sympathetic look and sat up some too, wincing slightly. "That's what we need to figure out."
She sighed heavily and let her head fall back. "You know that no matter what we say I'm going to be portrayed as a gold digger. Thea's initial reaction wasn't wrong."
"I'm not going to let that happen." he said sharply,
She gave a small snort of disbelief, "Oliver, you can make a lot of things happen, but even you are incapable of controlling the press. This is the proverbial blood in the water, and they are the sharks."
"Then we don't give them any room to question." his voice was sure, even a little defiant.
"What do you mean?" she asked warily.
"We tell them we were involved before the Glades fell, but you didn't know you were pregnant before I left. You had no way of contacting me while I was gone. She was born right before I returned. We started our relationship back up, and have been keeping her quiet to protect our privacy. Now we're together and fully committed to each other and to raising Alice." he said it so perfunctorily, as if he had been in the board room instead of in his bed with her and a baby.
Felicity was speechless. Never had she ever even considered the idea he had just proposed. It was so far outside her realm of possibility she'd never gone there. But apparently he had.
She was already shaking her head before she started speaking, "You don't know what you're suggesting." she protested, "Why can't we just say we're raising her together and leave it at that?" she couldn't go there. She couldn't actually pretend to be in a relationship with Oliver. That was too much. A bubble of manic laughter rose in her chest. Funny how agreeing to raise a child with him seemed reasonable, but this didn't.
"That's what they would expect from me." he countered, "The more they think there's a chance for scandal the more they'll try and create it. If we just look like a normal family we'll get the occasional picture taken by the paparazzi but that's it."
"But...what about...what about if you meet someone? What if I meet someone? What about Laurel? You two are...well, I don't know what you two are, but you're something, don't you owe her some sort of explanation? And your idea sounds like it's so easy, but you really don't know what you're suggesting. I'd have to go to dinners, and galas, and everything else that would be expected of someone you're with. That's a lot of pressure. I know right now this might seem like the right idea, but you're not thinking ahead." his hand came down to grasp hers, and cut off her frantic ramble.
"Felicity," he said evenly, "I'm sure. I've thought about nothing else for days. I told you before. I need you. You're the only person I can really trust. Last year taught me that trying to have a relationship with someone who didn't know all of me wasn't going to work." he left it there, not saying anything else but her thoughts were running rampant.
Was he suggesting...surely not. He couldn't be. He'd never given her any reason to think he'd ever thought of her like that.
She swallowed several times before she answered. "Okay, we'll uh...we'll try it your way. If anything ever changes we can deal with it then."
"Good." he nodded, "I've already had a preliminary talk with them. The team will have ideas for how to best announce it. If we need to do a press conference or an interview. And there may be things we haven't thought about."
All she could do was give him a muted lowering of her head. She felt like she was trying to hold onto the air.
He must have sensed it was better to stay silent. He gave her hand a squeeze and then pushed the covers all the way down in preparation to get out of bed.
With a gasp she realized she'd left him in nothing but his boxers the night before.
He was already sitting on the side of the bed, and leaned down stiffly. When he sat back up he was holding the destroyed remains of his t-shirt. He threw her a look over his shoulder. "Good thing I have plenty."
Felicity sprang from the bed and was around to the other side just as he grabbed his pants. "I can explain." she said hastily
His eyebrow lifted as he gave her an inscrutable look.
"I couldn't get to your wound. The pants were in the way. So I had to take them off. You were unconscious and I didn't know how bad it was. And you're really heavy so it wasn't very easy." she clamped her lips together to stop herself from saying anything else.
"Felicity. It's fine." he said with finality and she stepped back. "Just disappointed I was unconscious for it."
She froze and turned wide eyes on him, knowing she could not have heard him correctly, but by the grin on his face he knew exactly what he said. When her cheeks flushed, his grin got wider.
She chose to ignore him, much like he did when she said things that she shouldn't. Except she said them by accident, and what he'd said had been very much on purpose.
"Do you want me to look at that before I go?" she asked, nodding towards his injury, only having to clear her throat once.
He twisted to pick up Alice, grimacing as he did. "No, I'll take care of it." he replied, standing with her cradled to his chest.
Felicity was only a couple of steps away, and everything suddenly felt like it was too much. "Okay, we'll just go get ready then." she said, reaching out for Alice. "You do want to take her, don't you?"
He handed her over carefully and Felicity couldn't help but feel the little sparks of electricity where ever they touched.
"I think it'll be good if we present a united front."
"Okay. We can do that." she felt nervous and unsure, and didn't know how she was going to make this all work when she was sitting in a room full of strangers.
"Hey, if you're not alright with this..." he began, one hand came up to cup her elbow, then raised to brush over the fading bruise on her neck from the night she'd woken him.
The remorse that crossed his face made her speak.
"I'm good." she assured him, unable to look away at the sudden intensity in his eyes.
A knock at the door made them both jump.
Thea pushed in, one hand clamped over her eyes. "Does everyone have pants on."
"Not exactly." Oliver threw back, clearly irritated at his sister's interruption. He kept his body turned so only his right side was visible.
She peeked through two fingers and then dropped her hand altogether. "God, Ollie, do I need to explain how you ended up with Alice in the first place? Not that Auntie Thea doesn't love you to pieces, munchkin." she said in the direction of the baby.
Oliver just glared, and Felicity took that as her cue to leave.
"What?" Thea asked innocently,
Felicity hadn't made it past the bed when Thea spoke again. "Mr. Diggle called. He said the car would be here at nine to pick you all up. So I had to come find out what was finally getting these two out of the house."
Oliver stepped into his closet and came out with a new shirt on, covering up his bandage, and a suit which he threw across the end of his bed.
"We're meeting with the lawyers and PR team today." he explained
Thea's eyebrows lifted into her hairline, "Oh really? Ready to show this little girl to the real world are we? And Alice too?"
That earned her another glare. He purposely looked at Felicity, "I'll join you when I'm done." he said, and then stalked into the bathroom, the door shutting with a thud.
"No sense of humor." Thea said with a shrug, and then turned an appraising eye on Felicity, "So, what are you wearing?"
"Uh, wh...what?" she stammered, caught off guard.
"You have to have certain looks for certain things. In this case, you'll need to appear professional, composed, and a bit demure. Now, don't get me wrong, you are entirely your own woman, but you're also going to be seen, by unfortunately too many people, as the woman on Oliver's arm. And not only that, the mother of his child. So the yoga pants and stained t-shirt aren't going to cut it." Thea's hand swiped up and down to gesture at Felicity's clothes.
"I didn't really bring much with me, and I haven't had a chance to go back to my apartment." Felicity felt like she needed to defend herself.
"No worries. I'm an expert at knowing what to wear in front of a bunch of stuffy lawyers. Come on." she waved for Felicity to follow and exited the room.
Felicity didn't know what else she could do. Thea was already heading into her own closet when Felicity entered her bedroom.
A few minutes later she returned with three dress thrown over her arm and a pair of shoes in her hand.
"One of these will work." she declared and headed out of the room again. Felicity could only follow in her wake.
They arrived back at the nursery and Thea didn't hesitate to walk into the room Felicity had taken over. She laid the dresses out and then turned. "Light make up, hair down, maybe curl it a little. Minimal jewelry. No rings! The photographers will definitely be looking for that, unless there's something you and Ollie need to tell me. Now, hand over my niece. We're going to spend some quality time together while you get ready."
It wasn't until after she'd passed Alice to Thea that Felicity found her voice. "Thank you, really."
"No problem." she said genuinely, "You two are good for him."
Felicity ducked her head and disappeared into the bathroom.
In a daze she did what she needed to do, following Thea's instructions to a T.
The dresses were varying shades of blue. One had a peter pan collar that she immediately dismissed. One looked like it would look better under a suit jacket, and the third had tiny white polka dots and cinched at the waist.
Felicity eyed it appreciatively. She would have chosen it herself if she could have afforded it. A glance at the label had told her it was designer, and far too expensive for her.
She dropped the dress over her head and smoothed it over her head. The dress did everything Thea said it should do. Felicity slid into the shoes, amazed they fit, and grabbed her bag before stepping into the nursery.
Alice and Thea were sitting in the rocking chair, the baby in a dress she'd never seen before.
"There's your mommy, doesn't she look perfect." Thea said to Alice. It wasn't the first time Thea had referred to Felicity as 'mommy' but it still took her by surprise.
"I am very good at following directions." Felicity told her with a smile.
"Maybe not always." a voice said from the doorway and Felicity turned to see Oliver in a dark navy blue suit and a tie that almost looked like it matched her dress. Slightly flustered she turned a questioning eye to Thea who feigned innocence.
"You look lovely." Oliver said as he approached.
"I give all the credit to your sister. I just did what she told me." Felicity demurred, pushing a fall of hair behind her ear.
His hand came down to coast over her back and she startled. This was starting now, she realized. Their entire charade. The relationship. The announcement. It was go time. Thea had already caught them in his room more than once and had ideas about their status.
It would have been hard to miss the younger woman's coy smile as she arranged a blanket around Alice and walked towards them. "Here you are, she's changed and fed, and ready to go."
Felicity took the baby from her, fingering the soft, white yarn that had clearly been handmade. "Raisa dug it out. Apparently it's been around a while. Every Queen baby for a century has used it. Even you, big brother." Thea explained and then stepped back, cocking her head to the side.
"Yeah, I'm good." she said, as she looked at the three of them.
"Don't move. Let me get a pic." she instructed, and before either Oliver or Felicity could protest she had whipped her phone out.
"Smile!" she said, grinning.
Oliver's hand slid around Felicity's waist. She could feel the heat of his palm through the fabric of her borrowed dress and was helpless to how her stomach flipped. She tipped Alice up a little bit more so her face could be seen and they stood patiently until Thea was finished.
"Perfect." she declared, "I'll send you guys copies."
Oliver stepped away to grab the car seat before he suddenly whipped his head towards his sister. "Don't even think about putting that on instagram or anywhere else for that matter."
Thea gave him an exaggerated pout and huffed, "Fine."
"Don't worry, if she does I can get rid of it." Felicity assured him, enjoying the shock on Thea's face. For once Felicity felt like she had the upper hand.
"Good point. Don't mess with us online. Felicity's the best." he stated and she tried to tramp down the flush of pride that rose within her.
"I said I wouldn't post it." Thea said with only a hint of disappointment and a sigh. "Well, have fun with the suits. I'm meeting Roy, but I'll keep an eye out on twitter for whatever you end up doing." She waggled her fingers before leaving the room.
"Sorry," Oliver apologized as he went to put Alice in her seat.
"No, she's fine. She's great even. She let me borrow this dress and gave me some advice. It was good. I just feel bad...lying to her." Felicity said honestly
Oliver's back stiffened slightly as he finished securing the buckles. "Yeah," was all he said, as he tucked the antique blanket around Alice.
They walked downstairs in silence. Raisa met them at the door with a fully prepared diaper bag.
"Mr. Diggle is waiting." she told them, before smiling down fondly at Alice.
"Ready?" Oliver asked, angling his arm out in open invitation for her to take.
Felicity smoothed her dress one more time and slid her hand into the crook of his elbow. "Ready."