Chapter 3

Stupid Socialites October 2010

Some annoying blonde socialite, Alyssa Vaughn, is just friends with Beck. They know each other through their parents. Beck's dad cleans the Vaughn's teeth and their family loves the restaurant Beck's mom works at. Beck doesn't understand why I am not ok with that because according to him they are just friends. He thinks that I should trust him and assures me that I have nothing to worry about because he loves me. I'm sure my dad said those same things to my mom. It's not that I think Beck is already cheating on me with her it's just that I am scared that it could happen. I mean she's a rich gorgeous socialite, what do I have to offer? I know what people think about me and Beck. Why is the pretty boy with the dark bitch? They think that Beck could have any girl that he wants. I hear the whispers. I can feel their words even if they don't say it aloud. I know what Beck's parents think even if they don't verbalize it. I know why they throw subtle hints our way, like you shouldn't get to serious or and there's a whole world out there waiting full of opportunities. The paparazzi took pictures of Alyssa and Beck leaving the restaurant Beck's mom works at. Their families were having dinner together. Since everyone at school now knows that Beck is friends with Alyssa Vaughn I get to hear and read their comments about how he is so lucky to know her and should totally dump me for her. I guess I just fear that one day Beck will wake up and agree with everybody else. Beck says that Alyssa isn't interested in him in that way but if any girl sends a guy more than four text messages in a row it says, "I'm texting you so much because I want to be more than friends with you. Otherwise I wouldn't be sending you these lame boring text messages that I am desperately failing at making interesting." So Beck and I are fighting.

Jade Dumps Beck October 2010

I broke up with Beck. The words came out of my mouth before I knew I was even saying them. Now that I have had time to cool off and think I regret it. I just didn't want Beck to do the breaking up so I beat him to it. The next day I went to his locker and told him that I was sorry and that I would be cool with us getting back together. He said no and that I don't get to break up with him and change my mind the next day. I replied by saying fine. I then found myself walking around where I passed a broken kite. I don't know why but the broken kite reminded me of me and Beck. We have never flown a kite together. I do not know. I ended up on Tori Vega's doorstep with makeup running down my face asking her to fix the kite and help me get Beck back. Why her? I had a fit of insanity. Truthfully, who else was I going to turn to? Andre is Beck's best guy friend, he would not be on my side or help me. Robbie would probably suggest I just get a puppet and name it Beck. Cat would start talking about fairy tales, cry, and blabber to Beck about how lonely I was without him. So, enter Tori Vega. The girl may be Beck's friend but I can tell she believes in girl code so she wouldn't blabber to Beck about how pathetic I am. She has a compulsive need to fix things and try to get people to like her. Therefore, she wouldn't not be able to help me. So channeling middle school I had her talk to Beck for me. He said I never did anything nice for him, which I am sure holds some truth because that is not my strong point, which he knew about before we started dating. He did drink that can of lemonade by the way. I even made it for him. Anyways, Tori and I went to Beck's house to give him a Rottweiler, because he's always wanted a dog. We sat the dog at the front door and rang the door bell. We hid in the bushes and Beck's dad answered the door. The dog attacked his dad. He had to get stitches. But Beck and I got back together. As a bonus we made out in front of Vega! I should also mention that after Beck got back from the hospital visiting his dad I snuck out of my bedroom to visit Beck. He kept the sliding glass door to his room unlocked because he thought I might be coming back. With all the chaos happening we hadn't really gotten a chance to talk. So we talked and made out, like really made out to the point where it was hard to stop. So I guess the school nurse wasn't lying when she said it was hard to stop. We did stop but I was reminded of something important. I don't want to leave anything to chance or 15% chance or even 3% chance. This means that I want to get on the birth control pill. Now, I just have to get to it. The school nurse did not prepare me for that. They still separate the boys and girls for half of the curriculum in sex ed. Most of my knowledge about sex comes from PG 13 movies and stand up comedy routines. The thought of talking to my mom about it makes me nervous. I don't even want to talk to my mom about where we're spending Thanksgiving or how to clean the oven. Seriously, our oven needs cleaning but I don't know how to clean it and don't want to talk to my mom about it. PS I'm literally talking about an oven not a metaphorical oven. A literal oven that you bake cookies in. A conventional oven. Ok.

I'm kind of freaking out now.

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year, Halloween! October 2010

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Judging all the costumes, scaring little kids, horror movies, candy (the chocolate stuff not the lame cheap hard candy), being outside in the dark, the tricks, honoring the dead as was the original beginning of Halloween (not girls in slutty costumes): are my favorite pastimes. This year HA is hosting a Halloween Party. Beck wanted to go as a professional bowler. That boy is lucky he has me because that is one stupid costume. Sometimes I think the hair gel kills off his brain cells. He claims that he doesn't wear hair gel. He calls his product by some other name. I don't know I wasn't really listening I was staring at his hair. I would be so mortified if Beck ever read my journal. Anyway, I told him he should wear a white sheet and that he would be literally nothing. It is a very clever artistic statement and as a bonus all those girls in slutty cat and nurse costumes won't be able to see his face or hair and flirt with him. I am going as Tawny Walker from The Scissoring. Beck agreed but when girls found out that Beck was nothing they all thought he was really deep! Thanks a lot Rex for tweeting that!

Cheerleaders and Favors (Wifi in the Sky) November 2010

Beck wasn't answering my phone calls, texts, or emails. I went online and I saw that he was video chatting so I sent him a request. He told me that he was busy doing a homework project with Cat, Tori, and Andre. He had a tiny dog in his lap, one of those small dogs that could easily be mistaken for a rat. Andre informed me that it belonged to Beck's neighbor, a cheerleader. Beck was doing a favor for the cheerleader. Naturally, I wanted to know what kind of favors my boyfriend was doing for a cheerleader. He's not getting any from me so is he getting it from a cheerleader? He invited me to stay and meet the cheerleader. I met the cheerleader. She's nine years old. Beck didn't tell me she was nine. I then proceeded to argue with Beck about how he likes to push my buttons and make me jealous. We ended up making out. Once I recollected my thoughts Beck walked me to my house and we looked around to ensure that Sinjin was gone. Oh yeah, Sinjin video chatted us from the den at my house! What a creep! He told my mother that we were doing a project together and that I told him to wait for me. I informed my mother to call the cops if she sees a Sinjin within five blocks of our house. I think I need a priest to deSinjinize my house.

1 a.m. November 2010

Yesterday my dad and I had a fight, the biggest fight we have ever had with each other. I didn't want to go to his wife's grandparents' anniversary party. When he told me I had to go I put on a dress that I knew he hated. He then stomped up to my room and tore apart my closet trying to find something acceptable. The entire time he was ranting about how I was a spoiled brat and it was my mother's fault. I didn't want to go to the party because it involved his wife's family. They think of me as the freaky step daughter and I would have to ride all the way home from Santa Barbra alone with my father as Kelly was staying over. I can't even remember the last time I was alone with my father for more than two minutes. We went to the party and I found a corner to read in. My father told me that he was disgusted that I would read at a family gathering. He was embarrassed that I was his daughter. I informed him that these people weren't my family. They were the family of the second Mrs. West. My father then said he would take me home, to my mom's house so she could deal with me. He dropped me off at my mom's and took off. I then realized that I didn't even have keys since he made me leave the house so soon. Since I was supposed to stay the night at my father's house my mom wasn't even home, she was at her boyfriend's house. To make matters worse it was pouring rain. I did have my cell so I was going to call my mom but that would just cause a fight between her and my dad. So in the pouring rain I started walking to Beck's because he lived close and I knew I wouldn't really have to explain everything or get scolded. It's rather cliché for the teenage girl to climb through her boyfriend's window out of the rain. But I went through the sliding glass door in his room not the window. While it is unlike me to show up on a doorstep and have someone take care of me it was easy letting Beck do so. He was already in bed asleep, as it was midnight. Beck's room and his parent's room, which are across the way from each other via the pool, have sliding glass doors so I cut through the neighbor's yard and when I got to Beck's house all the lights were off so I quietly made my way to Beck's door and called his cell. It vibrated and I knocked lightly on the door. Beck woke up shortly. He wrapped a blanket around me and I briefly and half heartily explained what had happened. He found me some dry clothes to change into and turned around so I could do so. He offered to sleep on the floor and I told him that this wasn't a sitcom so he didn't have to do the cliché gentlemen stuff. We crawled into his small bed and I quickly fell asleep. It felt good to be there with him. I was relieved I had come to him as I didn't want to be anywhere else. When I woke up in the morning Beck wasn't there. He came back after a few minutes and explained that I slept through the alarm and he had quickly gotten up so his mom wouldn't come checking on him. After his mom left for work Beck fixed me something to eat and gave me one of his plaid shirts to wear as I still didn't have a key to my house and I didn't think my mom would be home yet. We walked to the bus stop and went about like it was a normal day. At Beck's locker thanked him for last night which Tori overheard and of course had to ask what Beck helped me with last night. This caught Andre's attention and of course his teenage boy mind went to a sexual place. He thinks his winking is subtle but it is not subtle. Andre is the king of not being subtle when trying to be subtle. I quickly covered saying Beck helped me with our English homework. It was a quick save and the group continued talking about our English homework.