Chapter 4

Manipulating Six Year Olds That Want My Boyfriend November 2010

People never ask me to babysit their children. I am offended that they never ask. That does not mean that I want to babysit their children. However, I just got home from babysitting. Beck and I had to babysit his next door neighbor. Remember the nine years old cheerleader Alli? Well, she broke her arm at a cheerleading competition so her parents left early this morning and got back late tonight because they had to drive to the competition out of town and pick her up. They asked Beck's family to watch their six year old daughter, Ava, and two year old son Adam. Beck's mom is working and his dad is out of town on business so that meant that Beck had to watch her. Beck and I had plans to hangout but since he had to watch the kid I was prepared to go home. However, he talked me into staying and helping him. According to him I know more stuff about kids since I have a little brother and taking care of two kids is too much for one teenage boy. Well, my brother is still a baby and I only see him like once every other weekend. But I had nothing better to do and we did have a monologue we needed to work on for school so I helped Beck babysit Ava at her house. I figured that since Alli seemed nice enough Ava would be too. I was wrong and have now come to the conclusion that I will no longer be offended when I am not asked to babysit.

This morning Ava seemed like a nice enough kid. I mean sure she likes pink, pigtails, and looks like blonde human sunshine but she's young and doesn't know better. Adam is really quiet and does whatever Ava wants him to do. He is a bit of a cry baby as he would start to cry when he fell down, missed his parents, Ava bossed him around, or when he dropped his cookie. Hopefully he will learn to suck it up soon. The four of us started off the day by walking to the park down the street. We kicked a ball around and Ava seemed to have trouble not kicking it 10 feet away from me but I let that go. We went back to the house and ate lunch. Ava wanted her crust taken off. I thought she should just eat around it but she got all upset and was like,"My mommy always takes the crust off." So Beck told me to just keep her happy and take off the crust. Adam took a nap after, which I had to try to get him to take. Beck said that Adam seems to like me best. I won't argue with that. Beck and I then played Candy Land with Ava, which I have always liked. I won. That was when something surprising happened. Beck went to put the game back in the closet and Ava informed me that I cheated. I informed her that I don't have to cheat to beat a six year old and she started to cry. Beck came back into the room and wanted to know why Ava was crying. I told him what happened and Ava said I was lying. What! Beck thought it was a misunderstanding and we should do something else. So, Ava wanted to play Twister and she wanted me to spin the spinner. Whenever, Beck was turned away she would give me this indignant look. Adam woke up so I got him and we watched some tv and played with play dough. I made some great sculptures including a spider, and Ava took, what was supposed to be a dinosaur she made, and squashed my spider. She acted like it was a game; you know dinosaurs are bigger than spiders so they squash them. But I know it was no game to her. I also have always hated when someone would mess up my play dough sculptures. I remember in preschool I got time out when a kid messed up my sculpture and I threw his against the wall and put play dough down his shirt. He should have got in trouble not me! I also hated it when other kids would scribble on my picture. They just wanted to ruin my picture because mine was better than theirs. Sure, they would claim they were helping me color but they were just scribbling. Mine was a real drawing and it was the best in class! We then played some other games, like duck duck goose and when Ava made me goose she pulled me hair. She claimed it was an accident but she gave me a smirk that made it clear that it was no accident. While we played other games Ava was always trying to make me look bad or do something to make me mad. I figured out what she wanted; Beck. She wanted me out of the picture. She was constantly trying to get rid of me by telling me that Adam needed something inside or in the other room. She was always partners with Beck. We played a game where she and Beck were police partners and she put me in jail. We played house and she and Beck were married and I was the lonely annoying neighbor and Adam was their dog. Having Beck be her husband in the game reeked of desperation. I've totally used that dog trick before though. I will admit that Ava is good at manipulating. She kind of reminds me of myself. I would be impressed if she wasn't making a fool of herself trying to win over my boyfriend. Ava even showed us what she had learned in ballet while she kept her eyes on Beck the entire time. She wanted Beck to help her on the piano even though I'm a much better player, which Beck pointed out. At dinner she spilled her milk and told Beck that I was the one who did it. She never stopped and Beck was completely oblivious.

However, I finally got the upper hand. I was not going to be outdone by a six year old. When Beck wasn't looking I threw her cookie on the floor and asked her why she did that. I also hid her favorite Barbie because she won't discover her Barbie missing until tomorrow. You see if there is one thing that I have learned it is that sometimes the greatest reward takes time to come to fruition. Psychological manipulation is always best when it is not temporary so even if you are not there in person to witness it, the lasting effects will remind the person of who is really in charge. Finally, I informed Ava that there was one thing that would stop her little game of trying to get Beck all to herself, bedtime, because she's six. When we put her to bed Ava sweetly asked me to stay behind, she was always acting all sweet in front of Beck. Ava had one last word to share with me before she went to bed," It may be my bedtime but Beck and I will always be neighbors and I'll be a teenager soon." I informed her that she would be thirteen in seven years and Beck would be a man, 21. He wouldn't be interested in a teenager. Math works both way sweetheart." Once the kids were asleep and Beck and I were working on our Shakespearian monologues for English I informed him of Ava's antics. He felt that if she did have a crush on him it was no big deal since she's only six, she's a sweet kid, and anything she did to bother me would have been an accident as little kids are capable of manipulation. I was being paranoid. Well, Beck thinking that explains that he never met me as a young child because I was already using manipulation by then. He didn't take it seriously at all. The kid was constantly trying to screw me over one minute and then sweetly smile at Beck the next minute. Whatever, I'll let it go as long as we never have to babysit her again. When I went to the "bathroom" I snuck into Ava's room and gave one of her Barbie's a haircut. I used her safety scissors and left them nearby so that she would be framed. Checkmate, Ava.

Beck's Big Break December 2010

My boyfriend Beck is going to be in a movie! Okay, so he only had one line but he said it so well! It almost didn't happen because self righteous Tori Vega almost ruined it all. Andre, Cat, Vega, and myself got to be extras. I was pleased to be on a real movie set and to be able to make sure no tarty actresses or extras wanted to get with Beck. That stupid actress Melinda Murry claimed that Beck got his line wrong. Naive Vega called out that prick. Everybody knows that if you don't want to be collateral damage you keep bitchy actresses happy and don't call them out on their mistakes. Vega couldn't keep her mouth shut so Beck got fired. I was furious with her and walked off set to explain how Hollywood works. I could tell Beck was disappointed but of course he never showed it. He claimed I was upset enough for the both of us. Vega ended up making things right by getting Beck his job back. I hope Beck doesn't think he owes her anything.

Cat's New Boyfriend December 2010

Cat's new boyfriend, Daniel, was Tori's ex boyfriend. Well, now he is no longer Cat's boyfriend. It was great watching Tori squirm. She pretended like she was fine with Cat dating her ex. She was so jealous, which led to her squirting Cat and Daniel with hot cheese. To make matters worse Tori kissed Daniel. She just can't seem to keep her lips to herself. I think Vega is the first person to screw over the innocent and loyal Cat. Cat punched her in the nose. I wish I had been there to see it.

In other news, never trust Trina. She spent the week getting her feet felt up. She then allowed others to experience ultra smooth feet. I thought it would hurt. It did not. For some reason I found that really disappointing. What we didn't know was that the tiny fish eating our dead skin cells were poisoning us. We ended up sick. I am so going to make Trina pay.

1 year Anniversary December 2010

It's me and Beck's one year anniversary. I can't believe I've had a boyfriend for a year. I was never the type of girl to pray for a boyfriend or that the best looking guy in school would notice I exist. Those things never mattered to me. Yet, here I am celebrating my one year anniversary with the hottest guy in school. Life is certainly full of surprises. To celebrate we went to dinner and a movie. We decided to make each other a gift instead of buying one. I came up with this idea because after the birthday debacle I thought homemade gifts would be better. That way the odds were against both of us as most homemade gifts are lame or unoriginal. Beck gave me this necklace that matches one he has too. It is on a black string and has a washer as the medallion. He happened to come across the washer and thought it would make a good necklace for me because the washer would make it less romantic. He gave it to me so that whenever I feel in doubt about us I can look at it and remember that he loves me. Beck made himself an identical necklace so that everyone will know we are together and can look at it and remember me whenever we are apart. It's really sappy but I like it anyway. I made Beck a picture frame with a picture of us in, in which I am actually smiling. It was a treat since I never smile in pictures. I mean what is there to be happy about in front of an in adamant object that flashes in your eyes.

Freak the Freak Out January 2011

Cat and I sang at Karaoke Dokie. We should have won the competition. Instead the owner's talentless daughter and her talentless friend won. They forbid us from ever singing at Karaoke Dokie again. They also flirted with my boyfriend. Revenge was a necessary next step. Unfortunately, we needed Tori's help. The plan was to make Vega look hideous. The boys would stay behind watching Trina (I took Beck's car keys to ensure this). Cat and I bet that anyone could beat Haley and Tara. They were stupid so they would take us up on our challenge. Being the shallow girls they are ensured that they would pick the ugliest person in the room, which was Louise, aka Tori. She got up on stage and within seconds the revelation that Louise was a rouse was apparent. We won. As a cherry on top of our victory a special guest was performing a Karaoke Dokie, Sikowitz. He sang a Ginger Fox song and got soaking wet as part of his act. He is definitely nuts but this is one of the times that we benefit from it. We do not benefit when he takes up an entire class period talking about different ways to eat and drink coconuts. Oh, in case you are wondering whether or not Beck was mad at me for leaving him with Trina, he forgave me; I made it worth his while.

Rex Dies January 2011

Rex died. He was murdered by Tori Vega via a wind machine for the school play. Robbie was a mess. Even I felt bad for him. He wanted us to take Rex to the hospital, a real hospital. I felt that Rex's death was an opportunity for Robbie to get over the puppet and move on with his life. He could be a normal, well slightly more so, teenage boy without his hand shoved up a puppet. At the hospital we arranged for Rex to be hooked up to machines and the doctor rigged it so that once Robbie got there Rex would flat line. Robbie said his goodbyes and Rex was declared dead. Suddenly, Rex came back to life. Thanks a lot Vega. She just has to meddle and is such a pushover. The world would be a better place without Rex in it and Robbie would have a better chance at being a few percentage points more normal.

PS: My mom is taking me to the doctor tomorrow. It's my annual checkup but she is also going to ask about putting me on birth control if I want it. I told her that was a good idea. She then gave me her standard sex talk speech about being young and that I should wait as long as possible. If I think I have waited long enough I can probably wait longer. She also told me that she wanted on the pill not so that I would have sex but so that no accidents would happen. She ended her speech by saying that with sex comes great responsibility that falls onto the girl because we're the ones that get pregnant so you have to be absolutely sure before you decide to have sex. When you lose your virginity and from there on out you will breath a sigh of relief every month when you get your period and when you're as much as five hours late you will find yourself praying to God that it will come. Your life will never be the same. My mom's speech made me realize that I want to get on the pill but I still want to wait a little longer before I have sex. I'm not so great at dealing with stress, hence my use of scissors to cut up anything cutable. So dealing with the stress of losing my virginity and having a sex life isn't something I'm ready for quite yet.

Beck's Sweet Sixteen January 2011

Beck turned 16 yesterday. His parents invited me and the gang over for dinner and cake. His aunt, uncle, and cousins that live in LA were there as well. I was really nervous about the gift I was giving Beck because Tori told me that Beck didn't appreciate the can of lemonade I got him last birthday. By the way there was lemonade at his birthday party. Tori started bugging me last month about what gift I was going to give Beck. I do want to give Beck a nice gift since he is so good to me. So this year I got him tickets for the play Mice and Men that is being performed at a local playhouse. Mice and Men is one of his favorite books so he should like the play. He seemed very pleased with the gift this year. I could tell because this year he mentioned to people that his girlfriend got him tickets to the play and his little face lit up when he described the play. That did not happen with the lemonade last time. Update: Beck loved the play.

Jade's Sweet Sixteen February 2011

I will admit I had a very nice birthday. We had dinner and cake at my mom's house. Then, Beck took me to the cemetery where they were playing the movie Rear Window. He knows what makes this girl happy. It was also extra special because Beck's parents allowed him to drive us there by himself for the first time in the dark. He had to call when we got there and left. The cemetery is only a mile away. I can imagine his mother sitting by the phone waiting for his call. Beck also got me some old flowers from the florist. He said they looked at him very strangely when he specifically asked for old flowers but he did it anyway. They should be really dead in a few days.

PS I got my driver's license. I'm very relieved as the process of learning how to drive was excruciating. My dad tried to teach me. It resulted in him yelling at me a lot. I cut up a lot of stuff after those lessons.