Jane
Dearest Lizzy,
I apologize for not waiting for a reply to my last letter before sending this missive as well. I blame my haste on a bit of gossip I overheard in the park this morning. The remarks pertain to yourself and I believe them untrue, but I wish for you to confirm my sentiments.
While watching our little cousins feeding the swans in the pond, I happened to catch the conversation of two rather older women nearby. They stood on the opposite shore and I doubt that they realized how very well sound carries across the water, for they were talking of me! The rather tall one explained to the other that my name was Ms. Jane Bennet and that my sister was a Ms. Elizabeth Bennet who is engaged to Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy of Derbyshire! Out of politeness I attempted to prevent hearing anything more. Thankfully, our puckish cousin little John obliged me and fell into the pond as he attempted to catch one of the baby swans in his hands. I had to hurry the poor dear home for some warm, dry cloths.
I do not wish to insult you, dear sister, for believing this a false rumor of engagement. You certainly have beauty, intelligence, and charm enough to gain the love and respect of Mr. Darcy. My skepticism arises from the lack of intimacy I have witnessed between yourself and the gentleman during his entire stay at Netherfield Park. I remember your dance with him at Mr. Bingley's ball and I do recollect witnessing a few conversations, but nothing to arouse suspicion of a preference on either side.
Yet, the principal reason for my disbelief stems from our conversation Lizzy. In regards to Mr. Darcy, your opinion, as you expressed it to me, has remained unfavorable. You indicated an aversion to his pride and suggested that his reserved nature was a result of arrogance. You even accepted Mr. Wickham's critical accounts of him! We have always confided in each other Lizzy, and I beg for you to do so now.
I hope you do no think that I request this confidence to satiate my curiosity. Your dear sister worries for your happiness. Remember all those books we read when we were still girls; how we promised ourselves to only seek matrimony with men we held in true affection? Do you forget your promise Lizzy? Mr. Darcy's wealth could provide you all of the luxuries life has to offer, but would this fulfill you? I apologize if my words sound harsh. I have rewritten this letter thrice and have found no more delicate way to express my concerns.
If you hold a true fondness for Mr. Darcy please receive this letter as one of congratulations. You deserve matrimonial felicity and my acquaintance with the gentleman convinces me of his worth. I perceive that your teasing nature and his more uneffusive one could provide a delightful foil for each other. Dear sister, if I hear that during you stay at Rosings a bond of devotion has sprung up between you, know that none other could be more pleased than your Jane.
Please write soon. I feel disconcerted that strangers know more about my Lizzy than I. Aunt Gardiner wonders if the rumor of your marriage to Mr. Darcy caused the unusual number of calls we have received in the past few days. She declares that she has never formed acquaintances with half of the people we took tea with on Wednesday. Indeed, I find myself quite surrounded with new acquaintances every time I leave the Gardiner's residence.
Mr. Bingley left his card this morning; he came to call on us while we took the children to frolic in the park. I harbor hopes of seeing him soon as he took the liberty of writing of his intention of doing so on the back of his card. I do not mind admitting to you Lizzy that his behavior shocks me. Why did he wait so long to call? I have resided on Gracechurch Street for months; his sister must have informed him of my presence.
I had convinced myself that I must have mistaken the degree to which he enjoyed my company, until today. A minute portion of myself wonders if he discovered of my location only lately, it wonders if he misses the companionship we shared in the country. I attempt to squash the voice that rises, unbidden, attacking the private thoughts that I have kept quiet and logical for most of my two and twenty years. I stay busy with my cousins to prevent such sentiments from preying upon me.
Of course Ms. Bingley told her brother I had called upon her; I have met with nothing but cordiality from that lady. Mr. Bingley must have many other acquaintances in London and finally found a free morning to call upon me. He has such a friendly nature, I am sure that I deceived myself in thinking he showed a particular preference for me. Do not worry Lizzy, when he calls, I plan to greet him as an indifferent acquaintance. Yet, I admire Mr. Bingley for his modest nature, his kindness, and his light heart. I have found contentment here with Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, so do not worry over me.
I will share the news that I receive in your next post with these dear relations. They have expressed the same concerns and worries over you that I have and I think they await your answer as eagerly as I.
Love Always
Jane
P.S.- I have enclosed little Mary's tooth that she shed yesterday at supper. The little dear insisted that I send it in my letter with all her love. She now has no front teeth to speak of and has a charming lisp associated with a few of her letters.