Title: Learn To Love Again
Rating: T - Maybe M in later chapters
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Brittana and other minor pairings
Chapter: 4
Word Count: 3.8k
Disclaimer: I do not own glee or the characters from glee that I use in this story.
Summary: It's not possible for a girl to get pregnant by another girl, right? But what happens when Brittany gets Santana pregnant and thinks that she was cheated on, leaving both Santana and her child? Will Santana be able to bring up a child on her own, with no help? Will she be able to somehow convince Brittany that she didn't cheat and to come back to her?
A/N:
EsterDF - She will definitely let her know about how hard things were for her.
taciiamayy - She won't know about the bullying until later on when she has finally met her and everything. I will include a glee reunion but not right away.
Paula de Roma - Don't worry, she will suffer and Camila will for sure be protective over Santana.
EV87 - She will make friends eventually.
Guest - How about a really good friend that Brittany thinks is a girlfriend? ;)
Spencer007 - She will be hard, but not too hard.
chuckleshan - She won't jump right into being girlfriends with Brittany, so don't worry about that! They will have to be friends and make their 'relationship' better before that happens.
Pikibear - Not yet... maybe later on in the story.
Guest - There is more to Brittany's life in Australia later on in the story and some of the things that Brittany went through over the years. Santana's parents will make an appearance in a few chapters.
Julz - She will eventually!
AilynOfficial - Yes, I'm working to get it completed :)
"Brittany, I honestly do not know what to say. If you wanted to be with me still, why did you go to Australia? Why didn't you try to contact me and get me back right away? Why wait four years for you to come back?" I ask Brittany, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion and my voice quiet, but still loud enough for her to hear me. Seriously, I have no idea to deal with everything she has told me.
She said that the past four years have been hell for her, that she felt guilty for leaving me and that she still left even though she could see that I was telling the truth deep down in her heart.
It makes no sense.
Why didn't she come back to me sooner?
Why didn't she apologize sooner and help me with everything?
Why didn't she stay with me when I was so scared?
"I was so terrified that I was pregnant in the first place Brittany, and then the fact that this has never happened to anybody before made it all that worse. I didn't know how the hell it happened either" Brittany looks down to the floor and I can see in her eyes just how much she wants me to forgive her. But I can't yet. She needs to work for it.
When I do forgive her though, we need to start again. We can't just jump back right to where we were 4 years ago, for Camila's sake. I know that it is going to be hard on her going through all of this when I finally do introduce her to Brittany and I need to think about her. "I did try" my eyes snap over to Brittany when her wavering voice fills my ears. She what now? She did not try to come back to me and if she did then I for sure would of known.
"A couple of months after I arrived in Australia, I came back to New York because all of the guilt of leaving you alone pregnant was eating me up. But I couldn't find you as you obviously moved out of the apartment" to say that I am shocked is an understatement. She did come back to me. "You changed all your contact details and when I tried to contact your parents, they wouldn't tell me where you were" my jaw drops open at her words.
My parents knew how much I was suffering without Brittany during my pregnancy and they still didn't tell her where I was? They didn't even tell me that she called them. My fists clench at my sides, but I will myself to calm down.
"They never told me that, I'm so sorry Brittany. I will make sure to talk to them about that" I say to her, my voice barely above a whisper. Brittany offers me a weak smile. "Brittany, we can't get back the last four years and I can't let you experience the past four years of our daughters life but we have to work together if we want this to work" I tell her softly, feeling kind of guilty for her that she tried to come back to me but my parents refused.
"I still don't trust you though, Brittany. You are going to have to work so hard before I let you meet her and come into her life" Brittany looks up to me and nods her head. "I need to know that you are in this fully and you're not just going to flake when you can't handle it because trust me, it is hard being a mother. I need to know that you are going to be here for her not matter what because she doesn't trust easily or like people at first" I warn her.
Brittany's eyebrows furrow. "Can you tell me about her? Please" The need in Brittany's voice makes me sigh and I hesitantly nod my head. Even though I am not letting her meet Camila yet, that doesn't mean that she can't know anything about her. But I am not going to tell her about the bullying or anxiety yet though because I know for a fact that if I do, Brittany will push even more to meet her.
"Her name is Camila Quinn Lopez-Pierce" Brittany's eyes widen and her jaw drops open. I can practically see the questions filling her mind up. "Just because you left doesn't mean that you wasn't still her mother" I tell her softly and a sad smile washes across her face. "She is guarded and shy, so you need to know that when you first meet her, she might be a bit edgy. But once she is comfortable around you and opens up" I smile as I think of Camila.
"She is the sweetest, most adorable little girl I have ever laid eyes on. She is funny and so amazing" I tell her, still smiling because of how perfect my, our, daughter is. "We will have to meet up a couple of times before I let her in on who you are and then after that, I will allow you see her and be apart of her life" I say to her, because I know that Camila does in fact need Brittany in her life.
It isn't fair to keep her away from Camila for too long, I just need to feel her out first. But I know that in a couple of weeks and a load of getting to know Brittany, I will know that Brittany is here to stay for good. We need to get our friendship back to how it was and we need to be in a stable position before she meets Brittany because I can't have out relationship reflecting badly on her.
"Sure, how about we meet up everyday for lunch? Or will you not be able to do that?" Brittany asks me hesitantly and I know that she doesn't want to overstep her boundaries. See, this is why we need to spend time together before she meets Camila. I don't want things to be awkward between us and the two of not knowing how to act together in front of her. Camila deserves to have two parents that know how to interact properly.
"That would actually be wonderful. I'll just get Alexis to watch Camila because I know that she likes her" I say, mainly to myself but still loud enough for Brittany to hear me. She scrunches up her nose in confusion but I just shake my head, telling her not to ask. "Give me your phone" Brittany grins and reaches in her pocket for her phone, handing it over for me to put my number in.
After sending a text to myself so I also have her number, I hand the phone back to her. "Brittany, I would love to stay and talk more but I really need to get going. Camila is with Quinn, Rachel and Kurt and I really don't like to leave her for too long" I say to her but when I notice the sad smile wash over her face, I send her an apologetic look. Shit. She looks really broken.
Clearing my throat awkwardly, I stand up and put on the backpack that has Camila's fresh clothes in it. "I'll meet you here tomorrow at 12?" Brittany nods her head, the sad look still in her eyes as she does so. My heart clenches in my chest and I take a deep breath before walking out of the cafe, glancing back at the girl who is still sat sipping at her coffee.
Once my skin hits the cool air, I let out a sigh of relief. Well, I guess things could of gone worse between us. The one thing that I don't understand and I am pissed at is my parents. Why would they do something like that? Not just to Brittany, but to Camila and I also.
They knew that the past four years have been painful and hard for me as well as the pregnancy, but they still didn't allow her to come to me, or even tell me that she called them.
I really do not know what to think about them right now or say to them either because I am so pissed. To calm myself down before I arrive at Quinn, Rachel and Kurt's apartment, I pull out my phone and dial the number of the one person that never fails to make me smile.
The girl answers it on the second ring, "Sup, Lopez" I roll my eyes but can't help the chuckle that escapes from my lips. Ever since I started to model just after Camila was born, I have been best friends with Lexi. Sure, Rachel, Quinn and Kurt are my best friends, but with Lexi things are different. We are more close than I am with the three others put together.
Alexis is also a model and I just feel like I can be myself around her and tell her anything, you know?
She is that one person that I can turn to and trust with anything and everything. She is amazing and funny and we act like teenagers when we are together. Seriously, the amount of times Camila has 'told us off' when we are together is actually unreal.
But, there is this one time that our relationship was more than just best friends. It was like, what? A year after we met? It was the day of what would of been mine and Brittany's 6th year anniversary and I honestly couldn't deal. Camila was with Quinn for the day and Lexi was just there and I couldn't help myself...
3 Years Ago
"Santana?" I hear the familiar voice call through my house, but I can find enough strength to reply to her, so I just bury my face deeper into my the hoodie and continue to sob. It still smells like her. I whimper as all the images of her flash through my mind and my heart breaks into a million pieces all over again.
I really can't believe that she has gone.
I thought that we would be forever, she told me that we would be forever. And I was stupid enough to believe her when she said it. "Oh, babe" I lift my head to see Alexis stood in the doorway of my bedroom, sympathy written all over her face. My face scrunches up as more sobs threaten to escape from my already slightly parted lips. Lexi sighs and moves across the room to take me in her arms and I instantly cling to her, my body shaking widely in her arms.
"Shhh...It's okay" the girl coos softly into my ear, knowing full well what day today is. She runs her fingers though my hair and I lean into her touch as I continue to cry in her arms. Why isn't Brittany here? Why has she left me when all I did was tell her the truth? I was just as scared and confused when I first found out also.
I really need to move on though.
It has been almost a year since she walked out of my life and I have to get over her. I can't have my daughter being affected because I am always in a slump over Brittany. I need to move on and find somebody else that will actually be here for me and won't walk out on me when I need them. Like Alexis. She is always here for me, just like she is now. Not being able to stop myself, I lift my head and forcefully press my lips to my best friends.
I push away all the thoughts that are running through my head, telling me that this is wrong as my best friend allows me to continue kissing her. She knows why I am doing this. She knows what I am trying to do. But then I realize that I am actually kissing her and pull away, shock written across both of our faces.
"Lex, I-" I start off, my jaw opening and closing because I don't even know what to say. I just kissed her because I want to get over Brittany - and she let me. "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. Well, I do. I just felt like I need to get over Brittany and I had to do something about it and you were just there. I am s-" I get cut off my little rant by Alexis chuckling and pressing her fingers to my lips to silence me.
"I get it, Santana. And I know that it is wrong and will probably complicate things, but I am here for you with whatever you need, okay? No feeling attached, I just want to help you because I have seeing you in this state" Alexis tells me softly and I smile because I really do have the the best best friend in the world.
For a whole year that went on, me using Alexis as my reason to try and get over Brittany. Our friendship still stayed the same and nobody else knew about what was going on behind closed doors except from the two of us. But then, I realized that it was wrong to use my best friend to try and get over Brittany. It wasn't fair to her and to be honest, it wasn't working at all.
In fact, it probably made me fall even more in love with Brittany. Our friendship went back to normal and we grew even closer. The fact that we used to make-out has never affected our friendship and we actually joke around about it. I love Alexis, but just as a best friend.
"Hey, Lex. I just finished lunch with Brittany" I tell her and she sighs on the other end of the phone. She also wasn't too pleased when I told her about me agreeing to go out with Brittany. But, being the supportive best friend, she just told me that she will support me and be here for me whenever I need her. "She tried to contact me through my parents and they wouldn't tell her where I was" I can practically see her eyes widen through the phone.
"They did what?" she screeches and I have to pull the phone away from my ear because she was that loud. "Sorry. But how could they do that? Not just to her but to all three of you?" she asks me in disbelief and I shrug my shoulders before realizing that she can't see me through the phone.
Coming up to the entrance of the apartment building, I smile at the doorman and make my way to the elevator so that I can reach the apartment quicker. "I really don't know but I am going to fucking kill them when I next see them" I tell her, clenching my fists at my sides. "They must have a reason why but I am more pissed that they didn't even tell me that she called when they knew how bad I was suffering" I sniff slightly, forcing away the tears.
"I need to go now, I'm picking up Mila. Oh that reminds me, can you watch her for an hour every lunch until I get her a home-school teacher? I agreed to meet up with Brittany everyday so that I can trust her quicker and she can meet Camila sooner" I ask her, biting my lip a little as I walk down the hallway of the building.
Really, if she doesn't agree then I am going to have to ask one of the others. It is not like I don't like leaving Camila with Rachel, Quinn and Kurt, because I do. I just want to have her comfortable with more people than just them and have her open up to more people than them. Sure, she is comfortable with Alexis but she doesn't see as much as her as she does with the others.
Whenever I see Lexi, it is usually during the day whenever she was in school or when she went to bed, Lexi would come over to keep me company when I got bored. Camila only probably ever sees Alexis whenever I take her to work with me or we have a day trip to the zoo together or whatever.
"Sure, I'll come by later on tonight anyway. Love you" with that she hangs up and I chuckle slightly because I am used to her just inviting herself over to my place. She literally does it all the time. She just shows up with her bag and tells me that she is spending the night. I don't mind though. That is why I got the guest bedroom decorated into a bedroom for her.
Letting myself into the apartment like I always do, I smile when I see my daughter still dressed in her pajamas and watching a DVD on the couch. "Mommy!" Camila squeals loudly when she notices me, getting up from the couch and running over to me. She throws herself into my arms and I lift her up onto my hip. "I missed you" she mumbles, burring her head into the crook of my neck and I kiss the top of her head.
"I missed you too, Cams" I tell her softly, walking over to the couch and sitting down, pulling her onto my lap. "Did you have a good night? Did you behave well?" I ask Camila, but I am looking towards the three others that have come to sit down opposite the two of us. They all nod their heads and I smile proudly. My daughter really is perfect. "Thank you for having her" I say to Quinn, Rachel and Kurt who just wave me off.
"It's fine, really. She is no trouble at all, we had fun" Quinn tells me and I smile when Camila nods her head with a beaming smile spread across her face. "Everything okay?" she asks me softly, referring to my dinner with Brittany but not actually saying her name because of Camila.
Honestly, I think that everything will eventually be okay between Brittany and I after a couple of weeks, I just don't know about my parents yet until I speak to them. I know that Brittany is going to try her hardest to prove to me that she is here to stay and will be there for Camila no matter what. Sure, I still don't fully forgive her for walking out on me in the first place, but she did try and come back to me.
Also, what happened to us has never happened before so I can see why she thinks that I did cheat. But the thing that makes me not forgive her fully is that face that she didn't trust that I didn't cheat on her when I told her that I didn't. She should of believed me and had faith in me, but she didn't. That is what is making me not forgive her so quickly.
"Everything is fine. Honestly it went better than I thought that it would go. I'll call you later on and tell you about it when Camila is in bed" I say to them all, not wanting Camila to ask questions on what the hell we are talking about. "But really, Cams, get changed into these because Lex is coming over" I say to Camila, handing her over the fresh clothes that I brought along for her to change into.
"Okay mommy" a smile washes over my face when Camila giggles and skips out of the room to get herself changed.
A/N: Okay, part two of the dinner and a little insight on Santana's life when Brittany was away. Not a lot of Camila in this chapter, but the next one will make up for it! Any idea's why I brought Alexis into this story? Who would like to see a jealous Brittany maybe? Sorry for the longer wait for this chapter than usual, but I hope that it was worth it! The next one will be up next week sometime :)
So, any ideas on why Santana's parents did what they did? Do you all still hate Brittany or has she warmed into your heart just a little bit? ;) Review and let me know what you think of this chapter and also if there is anything you would like to see happen and how you would like to see Brittany win Santana's trust? Who would you like to see more of and what do you want to happen when Santana's parents finally return? ;)
All to come sooooon!