Something wet and hot touched her face and she slowly opened her eyes. Everything was blurry and she felt so confused.
Her body ached as if she fell down the stairs and been slammed into icy-cold water. Her head throbbed so hard, she felt it in her eyes.
She groaned in pain and closed her eyes again as she felt hot breath slam in her face before she felt the softness of fur rub against it.
She opened her eyes again and saw that Nyla was whimpering and licking her face.
"Nyla?" She groaned out, her throat hoarse and on fire. Spirits, what had happened?
Weakly, she slid her arms in front of her and shakily pushed herself up on her arms. Her body protested, feeling stiff and achy but she forced herself to kneel, her hair spilling out to cover her face.
She felt Nyla nudge her waist before slipping her head under Aylin's stomach to help her up. It helped but her body hurt so much.
"Good girl," She croaked out as she leaned heavily on Nyla's snout, swaying as her her head pounded.
She blinked to clear the dizziness away and the black spots and when her eyesight returned to normal, she looked around to see where she was.
Where was she? She didn't recognize this place at all.
She was near water, an ocean of it and trees and bushes were all around her, the dirt she was standing on felt wet and sticky and she looked down to see that her clothes were dirty and tattered.
She saw icicles sticking out of some trees and she wondered what had happened. She turned herself around, gingerly because her body was achy and sore and looked up to see the sky darkening.
How long had she been out?
Then, she lowered her head and stared at the ocean, the waves lapping at the edges of the dirt and something tickled her brain, tempting her to remember something.
She closed her eyes and thought about what had happened. She saw in her mind's eye an arena, explosions, someone speaking and people running.
She felt fear and terror grow in her chest as the memories came faster now, causing her to grip Nyla's fur tightly. In her mind's eye, she saw herself gasping and looking up at the smoke filled sky.
The moon.
It was a full moon.
The implication of what that meant slammed into her and caused her to crumple on the ground, clutching herself.
She had run from the arena because it was the full moon and Bolin was chasing her.
She yelled at him to leave and suddenly she was gone, she saw herself attack Bolin and heard the voice of the moon spirit speak to Bolin who was despeartely calling her name.
The moon spirit was about to hurt him when she fought hard to push back the spirit so Bolin could be safe. It hurt her because fighting against the spirit felt like pushing against a brick wall. It hurt but she pushed her will into it. She sucked in the energy and power, which had burned her veins as her arms held her body together, the stress of being two in one body overwhelming her but she had to do this.
She had to save Bolin.
She had to because...because...because...
She loved him.
Oh spirits, she had fallen in love with him and the thought of someone hurting Bolin sent a bolt of rage in her body and she had done what she did to push the spirit out her body to save him.
But it wasn't enough. She wasn't strong enough. The spirit had claimed her body once more, pain exploding all over her body and she was helpless to stop the moon spirit bloodbending Bolin as he gasped in pain and called out her name before passing out.
She didn't remember anything after that but she felt hot tears fall down her cheeks as she sobbed while Nyla licked her face.
"Oh, Nyla, what did I do?" She moaned out in pain as she buried her face in Nyla's fur. She was stupid. She had hurt Bolin.
She had hurt him.
She was so useless and stupid for being so selfish.
Her own stupid wishes and beliefs were brutally destroyed when she remembered how she hurt Bolin. How could she be stupid? She should have known that she was never going to be normal. She should've known she was never going to get her happily ever after. She should've known, she should've known.
And because of her selfish and stupid wishes, she had hurt the guy she loved.
She had hurt Bolin.
Why did she have to hurt him? Why did she have to fall in love with him? She hated herself, she hated herself so much she wished she was dead.
What was the point? Her worst fears had been realized thanks to the moon spirit.
Spirits, she hated everything.
"I hate you!" She screamed in agony as she pounded her fists on the dirty ground. "I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!"
She sobbed now and Nyla was whimpering and nudging her over and over again. Unexplainable rage erupted in her body and she took it out on the trees and bushes and everything she could get her hand on.
She bent the water and turned it into icicles, slashing at the trees, freezing the bushes, taking out her pain and rage on anything her water touched.
She was sick of this. Sick of everything.
And the thought that she had hurt Bolin...
"AHH!" She screamed as she fell, exhausted from bending the water and taking it out on everything around her.
She had no choice now. She had to leave Republic City and leave Bolin, the boy she was in love with.
She cried again, surprised that she had any tears left. So many questions ran all over her mind.
Why? Why did this happen? Why didn't the moon spirit leave her alone and enjoy life, perhaps even love? Why couldn't she have left Bolin alone?
Bolin wouldn't hurt anyone. He wouldn't. He was just like that. Why? Why couldn't she have him? It wasn't fair.
Nothing was fair.
The image of Bolin's green eyes wide with horror and shock was enough to freeze her body from its grief body shaking sobs.
It was enough to sober her up which felt like a bucket of ice cold water dumped all over body.
"I'm sorry," She murmured, voice hoarse from her screaming and shouting.
She was sorry and she could do nothing about it. Nyla licked her face, whimpering, feeling Aylin's pain like her own.
Aylin now had to leave. For good. She had to leave somewhere where no one would be hurt ever again. She would live and never come back, ever.
But she would need money and clothes and food. She needed to pack.
Her mind started to devise a plan even if her heart wasn't in it. She would have to work extra hard to get enough money to survive on her own for the rest of her life.
Yes, she would work and work and work and save enough money to leave and never come back. Republic City wasn't her home anymore.
Not since Bolin became her home.
Stop!
She needed to forget Bolin.
She needed to disappear to keep him safe.
He wasn't hers. He would never be hers.
And the thought of never seeing Bolin made her heart ache so bad, she nearly crumpled with the grief but she forced the grief away, beating at it until she felt numb and her mind was clear of only one purpose.
Leave Republic City.
Even if it meant never seeing Bolin again.
Even if that meant dying inside because of her choice.
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