See Ch 1 for general disclaimers. More strong language ahead, so kiddies beware. Also, I went back and edited a few things to make it flow better later on. Nothing big, so you don't have to go back and read the chapters again. I mean, unless you want to. I'm not your boss.
PREVIOUSLY:
Jane walked over to her desk, looking through her drawers. "What the fuck?" She grabbed a couple things and walked back in. "Can I kill Crowe yet?" she asked, holding up a harness with fake breasts attached.
"How do you know it was Crowe?" asked Cavanaugh, who looked a little shocked and uncomfortable.
"He's the only one giggling like a little school girl. And the note with it is in his fucking handwriting." Jane dropped the harness in her chair and stalked off for Crowe's desk, Cavanaugh a few too many steps behind her to stop her.
"Shut the door, Frankie," said Korsak, shaking his head.
"Too late," said Frost, as Jane's voice carried into the room.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I have breast cancer, which isn't something to joke about. It's fucking serious, and people actually die from it. And if you are going to continue to give me shit about it for the next six months or so, you will be the next casualty." Jane slammed her hands down on Crowe's desk, then turned around to go back into the conference room and ran straight into Gabriel Dean. "Agent Dean, what the fuck do you want?"
"Hello to you too, Jane. I was in town for a conference, and wanted to see you before I left."
"You saw me, I'm still here, door's thata way," Jane said, pointing at the door as she walked to her desk and grabbed her pocket knife and the fudge clusters. Jane went to finally go back into the conference room but was blocked again by Dean.
"Oh, this is not going to end well for him," said Frost, as everyone else turned to watch.
"What, Gabe?"
"Want to go to dinner with me?"
"Thanks, but I just ate, and my wife and I were just about to leave." Jane tried to get around him, but Dean moved the same way.
"What the fuck do you mean, 'wife'? You're gay?"
"Yes, I am, and I'd like for you to fucking leave now." Jane took a few steps around him, but not enough, as he grabbed Jane's wrist, turning her back to face him. Before she could do anything, he was kissing her. Jane immediately pushed him away, before punching him solidly in the jaw, knocking him out cold. "Ow, FUCK!" Jane looked down at Dean. "Crowe, when he wakes up, will you please inform him that kissing a lesbian does not automatically make us straight." Jane walked into to the conference room and grabbed the harness, handing Maura the bag of fudge clusters.
"That was an impressive punch, Rizzoli. Remind me to not make you mad while we're here," said Morgan.
"Thanks. Although, he's had that coming for a while."
"Jane," Maura said, shaking her head at her wife.
"What, Maur, I've been wanting to do that since March. And him kissing me was the perfect excuse. Anyways," Jane said, sitting back down, "do you think there's a way that Tommy can put one of those bottle bags in here so he can feed TJ like Lydia is?"
"Uhm," said Frankie, "why would he want to do that?"
"Infants form attachments to their mother when they breast feed, so many fathers feel left out," explained Maura.
"That makes sense."
"Yeah, when my son was born, my husband spent most of the time with his shirt off," said JJ.
"Oh, such a burden for you, Jayje, spending all that time staring at Will," teased Garcia.
"Hey, hands off my man!"
"No worries, gumdrop, I have my chocolate hunk to play with," Garcia said, wrapping her arms around Morgan, causing JJ to laugh at his face.
"PG, I really did NOT need to know that."
"What? I meant checkers," said Garcia, trying to look innocent.
"Yeah, maybe strip checkers," said JJ.
"Don't give her any ideas, Jayje," said Morgan, as Garcia started laughing.
"My chocolate Adonis, do you really think I hadn't thought of the many ways to get you to strip for me?"
"And that's way too much information, Garcia," said Hotch.
"You don't seem too fazed by them Vince," said Rossi, as Korsak continued eating his pizza and talking to Frankie and Frost.
"That's because weirder things have come out of Jane and Maura's mouths."
"Hey! I have never said anything like that to you, about you, or in front of you, Korsak," said Jane.
"Yes, you have. Although, you were quite medicated, so I'm not surprised you don't remember."
"Oh, God," moaned Jane, focusing back on the knife in her hand as her wife spoke up.
"Please be careful with that, Jane."
"Relax, babe, four scars on my hands is more than enough for me." Jane pulled the blob of silicone out from the other breast. "There, now to just figure out how to get a bottle bag to stay, and be replaceable. Duct tape, maybe?"
"Janie, why is there a guy on the floor?" asked Tommy Rizzoli, walking into the conference room. "And what the fuck is that?"
"It's for you," said Frankie, smirking, as Jane handed Tommy the harness.
"Uh, thanks, but I like being a guy."
"Well, ok, but I sorta configured it so you can feed TJ this way since you were complaining the other day."
"Oh, thanks, Janie. Speaking of TJ, that's why I'm here. Lydia is gone."
"What do you mean, 'gone'?" asked Jane.
"I mean, when I went to take TJ back to her, the only things left in the place were his things, and a note." He handed Jane the note, which she read. "Is there any way to make sure she doesn't try and take him again, like last time?"
"You could file for sole custody," said Maura, who had read the note over Jane's shoulder.
"Would they give it to me since I got a record?" asked Tommy.
"I don't see why not," said Jane. "You haven't abandoned TJ, and you got two cops and the Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts in the family to back you up. And you know Ma will be all over him."
"Yeah, Ma will definitely be taking TJ as much as she can," added Frankie.
"Rizzoli! What are you still doing here?" Cavanaugh barked as he passed by the conference room again. Frankie looked shocked, and was about to reply when Cavanaugh spoke again. "Not you, the Original Rizzoli."
"See," Jane said, smirking at Frankie, "I told you I'm the better Rizzoli."
Frankie just rolled his eyes, saying "Just keep telling yourself that Janie."
Cavanaugh just shook his head. "Doc, take her home, please." He walked back into his office, shutting the door behind him.
"Where is TJ, Tommy?" asked Maura.
"In the café. Ma stole him from me as I was walking in. I swear she has a radar for him."
"Tommy, go grab TJ, and meet us at our house," said Maura. "Come on Jane," she said, patting her leg.
"But, but, Maura, people," pouted Jane, waving her hand at the group from the FBI.
"Jane, you can come home now and sleep in our bed, or have Frankie drop you off later and sleep on the couch."
"Right. Let's go home. See ya guys tomorrow. Come on, Tommy."
"I think I'll stay here and get the guys to help me. I ain't going anywhere near your house right now." Tommy took the seat Jane had just vacated.
"Tommy, come on," said Jane.
"Nope. Good pizza," he said, taking a bite.
"Would you prefer if Jane went with you and TJ to our house?" asked Maura.
"I guess, that way you two can't make googely eyes at each other."
"Googely eyes?" asked Maura.
Frankie started laughing. "Yeah, how ya look at each other all the time."
"Grab your pizza, Tommy, and meet us in the garage after you get TJ. Don't object. I'm not in the mood to deal with Ma right now, are you?"
"Nope, but if you two are kissing when we get to the garage, I'm just going home, and you can help me tomorrow."
"Ok," Jane said, nodding. She pulled Maura closer, kissing her cheek. "What, you said in the garage."
"Jane, leave your poor brother alone," said Korsak.
"But its so much fun."
"Maybe for you," said Frankie. "Personally, I don't like to see my sister kissing others. You are a nun in my mind."
The entire BAU group, Frost, and Korsak started laughing at that. "Well, considering you thought you had a daughter, and Tommy's got a son, I am the best candidate to become a nun. Well, except for the whole, lesbian, married to another woman kinda thing."
"Yeah, and you need to take your woman home, before Cavanaugh comes back out and makes you stay home tomorrow," said Korsak.
"Technically, Tommy will be taking Jane home," said Maura, grabbing her purse.
"Yeah, yeah, give me your keys, Tommy, and go get TJ. I'll meet you at your car." Jane reached for the keys, but they were snatched by Maura, who gave them back to Tommy.
"You can't drive Jane."
"I can, you just wouldn't let me this morning." Jane crossed her arms. "I'm fine, Maura. I can drive home."
"Let Tommy drive. I swear, sometimes, I married a five year old."
"Could be worse," said JJ. "My husband acts the same as our four year old sometimes."
"Oh, please get video next time," said Morgan.
"I'll try."
Jane had stepped out of the room to her desk and was heading back when she was stopped, again, by Agent Dean. "Have a nice nap?" she asked, trying to step around him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? You hit me?" He stepped closer to her, making Jane take a step back towards her desk.
"Because you kissed me. Do it again, and lose your balls," Jane said, trying again to step aside him, and managed to get past him, but was pulled back to face him as Dean had grabbed her wrist.
"Agent Dean, let go of Detective Rizzoli's wrist," said Hotch, whose voice had gotten dangerously low. "I suggest you leave now, agent, before there are several more bruises on your face. It would be in your best interest to head back to Quantico in the morning." Hotch turned to Jane as Crowe approached Dean. "Are you ok, Detective?"
"Great, thanks. Would have liked to hit him again, though."
"Jane," Maura admonished as Jane and Hotch laughed.
"Come on, let's meet Tommy and TJ and get them all sorted out."