I cut
You bleed
I scream
You plead
My pain
You cry
As we both
Slowly DIE
-DNL235

His arms are so comfortable, he's so cozy warm. He denies me nothing, but i deny him everything. Fear envelops me every time I try, and fail. I could never express how I feel openly, but it doesn't seem like it will remain that way for long. The dam is going to burst, cracks have already formed. Weakening the foundation, spreading like a fever.

He's has become my protector, my savior, I feel so secure in his embrace. Never imagined I could fall for another, not like this. Casual flings, but never full on LOVE. Nor have I ever thought that I could admit this, even if it ever happened, to anyone, even myself... especially myself.

I wonder how he can bring me such pure joy, just being near him, held by him. My heart flutters, the once frozen tears, now no longer on ice, but a flowing river. I never even dreamt I could feel this way, this content. With the simple, yet complex thing of a emotion, called love.

While I continue thinking, my eyelids steadily get heavier and begin to droop. I loosen my muscles, becoming relaxed. Kou's arms still tightly wrapped around me, only ensuring the safety I'm convinced I have.

I awake, as I open my eyes. I am standing in a moderate size, bright white enclosure, with on large, hand carved door, straight ahead of me.

An unsteady feeling washes over me, desperate to leave. I begin making my way forward, to my only hope of escape.

As I hasten to my only means of freedom, I halt, contemplating my other options. Convincing myself of no other option better, no matter my fear of the unknown. I continue forward. Until a dark liquid oozes under the door through the small crevice underneath.

' Well, venture onward. Stop being prematurely cautious.'

' What... What is it?'

' Blood.'

' Whose?'

' Yours... Ours.'

Freezing, terror taking me over, until Kou's gorgeous face passes through my mind. I must force myself further, if only to return to the man of my dreams.

I remain frozen, reminding myself of the devilishly handsome prince awaiting my return.

With pure will, longing and determination; I continue to trudge ahead. Stepping into the expanding puddle, exposed feet becoming stained with this clumpy, burgundy fluid. Quickening my pace, desperate to pass, desiring to cleanse my poor feet.

Trembling, as the puddle enlarges, saturating any remaining region of exposed skin. Fluid seeping between my toes, causing me to once again freeze from the appalling, warm liquid making its way over my body.

As it mystifyingly rises, consuming any nude flesh it encounters. Im paralyzed as it only continues to rise, as it ascends, reaching my waist.

Shedding any doubt, reassuring myself this is sadistic event is nothing more then a trick of my mind. Trying to fool me, but knowing I have nothing to fear, but fear it's self. Well that my sound well and good, but it is still enveloping me more and more.

I open the gateway, entering the threshold. To only see complete darkness ahead, still making my way forward. Knowing its better then the malicious plasma staining my body.

' Where am I ?'

' My humble abode.'

' Hmmm, seems... empty.'

' It's not much, but it's home.'

Walking further ahead into the oblivion before me, passing my first challenge. Warm burgundy fluid removing its self, as the distance between it and I further.

Instead of being terrified, such as I was before, I'm sensing a kind of familiarity. All most as if I've been here before.

Except thats impossible, just because it seems familiar, doesn't mean I've been here before. I've most certainly been in the dark before, but yet this eerie feeling comes over me. A knowledge that I may try and fool myself as much as I want, but I know it's not true.

' You have. REMEMBER?'

After my brief pause and hesitation, I continue walking forward. Frantically searching for any means of escape, as the ground begins to feel unstable, disappearing beneath my feet. Revealing a chasm, as I fall, descending into the pitch black abyss below.

Bypassing fear, only hoping this to be an exit.

Until logic fades away, terror enveloping me. As I continue to plummet downward, surprise joining the terror from the current events. Unable to fully understand what just happened. How could I have been there before, yet I don't remember. Still it felt, no it feels so familiar. Shouldn't I have some notion, or after thought. Not even a vague idea of how, or why. Why can't I remember, no matter how hard I try? It's not coming back, it refuses to do so.

Escaping shock, coming to terms with the enviable crash landing to come. I begin screaming at full force, my lungs about to explode from the pressure, ears ringing.

Opening my eyes to the comfort and safety of arms, relieved to discover it was only a frightful dream, or rather nightmare.

' Be aware of your false reality. I advise you to not delude yourself into premature prosperity. You may have managed to escape this time, but residence it futile, my will shall be done.'

I leap forward into my protectors warm arms, trembling in fear. Allowing his embrace to wash over me, comforting me.

His grip tightens, relieving any doubts. Terror fading away, as well as washing away any more fear inside. Replaced with my uncontrollable sobs. As I feel the care and love radiate from him, filling some of the darkness within.

Looking back the passes few days, i realize that i need to eat, because the passed three days I have only consumed hospital IV, a plain bagel, and few beverages. I must appear horrendous.

I feel so strange having sobbed like a baby in Kou's arms... all night.

He didn't flinch, didn't judge, most importantly didn't leave. With his last breath he saved a lost piece of my soul.

" Kisa darling, my arms are always open, just hop in."

This time I think, no I'm sure. I have been fortunate enough to find a lover that understands. With faith in each other we can be strong, TOGETHER.

' You could just tell him!'

' Yes, I should just tell him I'm losing my mind, it's unraveling at the seems. Besides there's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find.'

Sarcastically thinking to himself, zoning out. Unaware of the deathly concerned stare, by his lover.

' I advise you confide in him, instead of what you have planned. I desperately do not wish to partake in up coming events.'

' Your advisement is duly noted, and rejected.'

Removing my face from his chest, meeting his gaze. His features softening, elegant grin wiping away his concern.

" Kou, I am warm and naked. Give me a reason to stay that way."

Stunned by my comment, but only momentarily. Recovering himself, delivering a message with his tongue to mine.

Passionately making love throughout the night.

Finally collapsing in each others arms. Peacefully falling asleep together, neglecting anything else till later.