Chapter Eighteen

Shizuo doesn't get it. He doesn't get it even when he already experienced it. He still doesn't get it why he's always doomed to live the fate of a monster. And he never will get it at why he's the only one she can't remember!

The blond paced around the demolished living room, his face and thoughts clouded with anger and bitter sadness. Several empty bottles of milk littered the kitchen floor and atop the counter and sink. Furniture was upturned and the now cordless corded phone now hung limp by the receiver. It was like a tornado ravished the place, said tornado being him. He kept on pacing in circles, muttering rude, inaudible words.

"Damn it! Damn it all!" He finally stopped pacing as he then plopped himself on the still safe couch. He let out a long curse, loud enough for the neighbor beside him to yell at him to be quiet. Nobody could ever blame Shizuo for being in such a sorry state as this. In fact, who would never be this miserable when the one you love has forgotten everything about you?

The bartender sighed for a bit. How could he deal with this? It's already been a week and she's finally discharged from the hospital. He would have come over to visit her but he doesn't have enough strength to face her yet. I'm the strongest man in this fucking city, and I can't even see her at this time of age? He pulled up his box of almost empty cigs and decided to smoke everything to clear his mind.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Shizuo raised his head at the door. Whoever it is, he decided to ignore it for the safety of the one knocking, so that he can't unleash his fury on them. But they're too persistent, knocking unto the door with rapt attention. Knock! Knock! Knock! "Fucking…am stray…" He went over to the front door and unlatched the lock. He was surprised to see the psychotic, love struck kid, Seiji Yagiri, and his already psychotic girlfriend, Harima Mikawa. The girl is holding onto his neck as always while the brat looked passive as usual. "What do you want?" Came Shizuo's abrupt greeting. The couple nodded at him and moved to get inside, which the blond was pissed at their action.

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you are doing?" He grumbled at them, but the two already seated themselves at the now slanted sofa and looked up to him (it was only Seiji since the Harima girl was too preoccupied with their 'love') expectedly. "Good afternoon Heiwajima-san." He said simply, his eyes imploring at him. Shizuo's still a bit pissed at this kid two years ago, since he didn't give him a sound explanation about his love for the girl. In truth, the blond was disappointed at his answer that at his rage, he headbutted him and walked away to a convenience store to buy some instant adhesives and duct tape to treat his pen wounds. Shinra was also angry at him for treating himself like a machine. No, not a machine, but a monster that he truly is.

"Go home, kid. I'm not in the mood for visits." Shizuo held the bridge of his nose with his two fingers as he groaned. Instead, Seiji still sat there, looking at him with the most expectation. "What do you want?" He decided to act nice so that he could get this over with.

"I heard about Noelle-san. I came to give you advice about it." The blond stared at him for a while, and then laughed out loud. He couldn't believe he'll get some piece of shitty advice from a kid. Shizuo stopped when he thought of something. Now that he thought about it, this kid just so happens to have the same problem as he is. Well, not exactly the same, but he had some issues about his love that's not actually his love, and Shizuo's issue is that his love doesn't even remember their love. So it links anyway.

"Alright," Shizuo sat on a destroyed armchair opposite him and placed his hand to support his chin. "What do you have in mind?"

"I'll be frank then, I have a romantic getaway to attend to." Seiji patted his girlfriend's head and stared at the bartender. "First off, let me remind you that Noelle-san has not forgotten about you, Heiwajima-san. She has simply put her mind into a deep sleep." Now Shizuo has his attention.

"What do you mean?"

"I meant that you should try to connect back with her. She has not fully awake, because her memories of you have been blocked. You have to talk to her in order for those memories to come back." Seiji sighed as he stood up with Harima and left the apartment. But before he left, he stopped by the frame of door and looked back at Shizuo, who was transfixed and still in his seat. "In love, you should never give up on the person you love. Destiny brought you two together. So go help yourself and bring yourselves back together." The boy nodded at Shizuo and exited his apartment with his girlfriend. That left the blond to his thoughts. The brat's words quietly echoed into his mind, repeating itself over and over again.

"Never give up on her…"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! This is so frustrating!" Shizuo screamed as he threw the misshaped coffee table at the wall, effectively breaking it into pieces. He grabbed a fistful of his hair and tried to pull, but tears barricaded his way as he sat there, sad and unloved. "I…I love her…I can't leave her…" He whispered to himself, slowly calming down. The tears continued to drop and slither unto his palms, and finally slipping away into the carpet. He hasn't cried for so long since that incident two years ago. He always knew crying wouldn't do well to anything, but all he wanted was to shut up and let it all out.

"…Noelle…" He mumbled her name and pictured her face in his mind. How she will smile at him and wipe his cries away, how she will laugh and dote over the smallest, cutest thing about him. His face flushed red in silence. All he ever wanted is her to be with him. Stay by his side. He can't live longer without her. It was sappy, and corny, and cheesy, but right now, who the hell cares..?

Just as he was about to doze off in his armchair, his phone let out a small chime. Shizuo lazily flipped it open and listened to the caller. "Tom-san, what is it?" He groaned, trying to block off that bubbly wet tone of his that he was recently crying. What his friend said made him drop the phone though.

"They're getting married."

I am so, so incredibly sorry that I hadn't updated in over a month..! I had lost all motivation in writing this. But recently, I've found my muse, and I wanted to thank my friends for telling me that.

I will be editing this story since I feel as if it is losing its touch. Please bear with me; I'm working really hard to get this done. I promised to finish the story of beauty and the beast.