A/N

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, I've been doing nothing but college work and things have been crazy lately but I managed to write this chapter, DarthVader'sApprentice got my ass into gear. I will not stop writing this story, I'm aiming to update at least once a month.

Thank you for the support, I love hearing what you have to say as well.

Also, there will be more Brittana interaction and some fluff in future chapters.

The rest of her school week dragged on. It was the same routine over and over: go to school. Shower. Study. Eat dinner. Study. Sometimes Rachel would pop by to make sure Santana was doing something other than working and she'd make her watch a movie. Santana did appreciate it but she still felt like she was stuck somehow. Like she was trapped doing the same old thing over and over and she couldn't find her wait out.

It was a Friday evening and Santana was lying on her bed just relaxing and listening to the soft humming of her music, when she suddenly realised how slowly the week had gone by. She'd spent most of it trying to avoid eye contact with Brittany and refusing to even look in her direction. When Mercedes had chided her for being rude Santana had started grunting at Brittany in acknowledgement whenever Brittany said a friendly hello, which was every time the girl saw her. Santana had got to give her some credit for her unwavering persistence, but what the hell did she want from her?

Santana's musings were disrupted by her phone ringing. Santana rolled her eyes as soon as she recognised the ringtone to be from some musical. She would have hit ignore so that she could enjoy the rest of her evening in peace, but then realised that Rachel would probably show up at her house.

Santana answered the phone, but before she could even say anything she heard Rachel ask, "Santana, what are you doing?" Santana frowned. There wasn't anything accusatory in the way Rachel asked - it was said in the tone someone would use when they were making plans.

Santana looked around her room, "Uh, right now? I'm busy, it's kind of important Rache."

She heard Rachel sigh, "Doing what?" Okay. This time it was accusatory.

Santana nearly face palmed at her own stupidity. When Rachel had found out about Santana's vow to her mother to cut down on her studying she'd be more than happy to support her, and had made sure to stay on top of Santana so that she wasn't working too much. So of course that excuse wasn't going to work for her any more.

Santana could practically feel Rachel growing impatient at the delay in her response. "I'm not studying or anything Rachel. I promise. I was just relaxing on my bed and listening to some music, I just didn't want to be disturbed."

Silence. Santana took the phone away from her ear and looked at it to make sure she hadn't disconnected. She hadn't, so why has Rachel stopped talking? "Hell-"

"Are you okay?" Rachel interrupted.

Santana felt herself panicking. Had she done something to make Rachel think she wasn't okay? What did Rachel know? The churning in her stomach got worse the longer she stayed quiet. She swore she could feel her heart pounding against her rib cage and her head was throbbing.

"Hellooooo?" she heard. Oh yeah. Rachel.

"Huh?" Santana asked dumbly, hoping Rachel would drop it.

"I said are you okay?"

"Uh, what makes you ask that?" Santana asked.

"I just thought you were sick or something. You sounded..." Rachel paused as if she was searching for the right word, "honest."

Santana closed her eyes and released a slow breath. Damn. She needed to stop that. She'd been freaking out a lot recently and she didn't know why. Well, she knew why, but she couldn't figure out why it was bothering her so much lately.

Before she could say anything else Rachel spoke again, "And the fact that you're actually just lying down, relaxing and listening to music. It isn't exactly something I can picture you doing. I guess I shouldn't be surprised really, you've actually been a little more pleasant to be around because your head isn't always in the books."

Santana huffed and rolled her eyes. Thankfully the churning in her stomach was starting to calm down. She felt both relief and annoyance wash over her and realised she was so ready for this conversation to be over.

"Was there something you wanted Berry?" Santana barked.

"Okay," Rachel paused "sometimes you're still not so pleasant."

Santana sighed. Sometimes Rachel needed a little push to get to the point, "Rachel! I swear I'm hanging up if you don't tell m-"

"No. Wait! Wait, wait. The reason I phoned was to see if you wanted to go over to Mercedes' house." Santana was just about to protest when Rachel's soft voice came through the speaker, "Look Santana, just hear me out before you say anything. Mercedes is having a little movie night and I want you to come, you need something like this. Sure, you haven't been working as much and that's great! I'm so happy, but you do need a change of scenery, it'll be nice for everyone as well. Please. You need to be somewhere that isn't your house or school otherwise you'll go crazy. You don't even have to stay long, I promise."

Santana stiffened. She'd never heard Rachel sound so desperate. She didn't like it. She felt that familiar hollow feeling at the pit of her stomach that she's been feeling a lot more recently. She was unintentionally stressing out people who cared about her and it made her feel so many different things at once; frustration. Guilt. Resentment. Pain. Anger. She had to focus on one feeling or she'd drown in the seething pool of her emotions. She decided to focus on anger. It was always anger.

"Look Rachel, it's really cute how you think being around you is somehow going to brighten up my world or some shit but I've been with you practically all week and I'm afraid that one day you might actually talk me to death with that enormous beak of yours." The moment it was out Santana was cursing herself. After all, she was the person Rachel came crying to when those asshole boys said nasty things about her personality and appearance. She knew the distress it caused Rachel, how insecure she was. She also knew how Rachel kept her head up high even though sometimes it stung. She'd only meant to vent her frustration a little, but Santana feared she may have crossed a line this time.

For the second time in there was silence on the other end of the line. Santana held her breath as she listened to Rachel inhale and exhale shakily. "I've got to go now, dad is calling me." Rachel sounded monotone and it scared the shit out of Santana.

"Wait, Rachel I didn't mea-" before Santana could even apologise Rachel had hung up on her.

Santana sat on her bed and looked blankly at her wall for a moment, the conversation she just had not quite sinking in. She stared down at her phone dumbly as her thumb hovered over the call button. She knew Rachel probably wouldn't pick up the phone after that but it still wouldn't stop her from trying. Santana gritted her teeth when it went to voicemail, she was still a little shaky from her little outburst.

She left a lame message asking Rachel to call her back, then hung up, frowning deeply. It seemed like she couldn't do anything right lately. It was weird how sometimes ignoring things made them easier to deal with, but then when she least expected it they come creeping up on her and make her act like a douche.

"Knock Knock." a familiar voice rang through the door. Santana nearly jumped. Nearly. She smiled to herself - she'd been getting better at being less spacey. Sure, she still spaced out a lot but she was a lot more aware of her surroundings now. Maybe Rachel was right and she really did need to get out more if not jumping when someone interrupted her thoughts made her smile. Her smile dropped when she remembered what had just happened with her. Santana felt so conflicted, wondering if the invitation was still open but not wanting to upset Rachel further. What if she wants some time away from her?

Santana heard knocking on her door, "Hey, Matilda?"

"Yeah?" Santana called out as she clambered off her bed and moved across the room, searching for her study books.

"Watcha doin'?" Paul sang, still outside her door. Santana loved how Paul respected her privacy; her mom normally just barged in whenever she was doing the laundry. Once Santana was tidying up her room with her headphones on, and hadn't heard her mom enter the room so when her mom had tapped her shoulder to get her attention to ask her if she needed one of her white shirts washed, Santana had jumped up and punched her mom in the boob with a shriek. Her mom hadn't been happy at the time and still teased Santana about it. Santana was scared and it had all happened so fast she didn't feel like there was any fault on her part.

"Just," Santana walked towards the door, opened it and continued her search for her books, "doing a little light reading." she answered distractedly. She missed the frown of Paul's face as she rifled through her work folder.

Oh. I see" Santana didn't seem to hear him and continued searching through her backpack.

"Bingo." She smiled as she found what she was looking for and pulled it out - her books and extra work sheets. Looking up, she noticed him still standing in the doorway, "Oh, sorry Paul. Did you need something?"

"No, I was just wondering what you were up to and if you wanted to watch a movie with me and your mom?" Paul grinned. Santana half expected him to make a comment about her studying. He kept glancing down at the books in her hand with a small but noticeable frown on his face, like he wanted to say something but was restraining himself. She knew that Paul didn't like confrontation so took a different approach to things. It was kind of refreshing sometimes.

Santana shuffled her feet awkwardly and looked down at her books. She didn't actually need to read, she was pretty sure she had most of the notes memorised, she just needed something to do to distract her from things. Watching a film was something to do. Santana skewed her mouth as she thought about the pros and cons of going downstairs.

"Seriously Matilda, it's a film not rocket science." Paul smirked, folding his arms and leaning casually against the door frame.

Santana rolled her eyes and felt a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth. Paul had something about him that made her seemed to make her forget her problems. "What are you watching?" she asked as she dropped her books and sheets back into her backpack.

Paul's smirk morphed into a goofy grin, "Tangled."

Santana snorted, "For serious?" she asked disbelievingly.

Paul feigned hurt. "I'm being for cereal Matilda, Tangled is an intense movie." he deadpanned, slowly nodding.

Santana nearly rolled her eyes again but before she could she heard her phone chime. She noticed she still had the backpack in her hand and dropped it on her bed. "Where's my cell?" She asked Paul as she scanned her bed.

"Um. I dunno. Have you checked your sock?"

Santana paused and turned to face him, "What?" she asked incredulously

"Sometimes I find change in my socks." Paul replied a little sheepishly.

Santana looked blankly at him for a few seconds, "Why would you even put - you know what? Forget it. Never mind. I'll see if I'm up to watching the movie in a bit. Give me 5 minutes?"

"Sure." Paul flashed her one last grin and closed the door before leaving.

Santana's phone chimed again - alerting a text message. Santana listened closely for the sound and followed it into her back pocket. Rolling her eyes at herself she checked the message:

From Wheezy:

Rache tell u bout the movie nyte my place?

Santana jaw clenched at the sight of Rachel's name. Something annoyingly familiar latched onto her heart, weighing it down. Guilt. Again. She ground her teeth and sighed.

Sent:

Yh she said sumthin bout it. I dunno 'cedes... kinda tired 2night.

Santana briefly wondered if Rachel would still be going to Mercedes' house after what happened, but her cell chimed again before she could give more thought to it:

From Wheezy:

Girl

Santana frowned at the message. That was all that was there. She waited a while for another message, thinking Mercedes sent that message too soon to elaborate what she was trying to say, but when another text was obviously not forthcoming she replied.

Sent:

... yes?

From Wheezy:

Why am i not surprised ur not comin? Ur neva doin anythin with us anymore, it's frustrating. I swear if ur studying i'll burn ur books on monday

Santana was in the middle of replying something she would probably regret when another alert came through.

From Wheezy:

Neva mind, forget it

Santana wouldn't be able to forget it now. The more she thought about what Mercedes had said the angrier she got - spiteful thoughts about the girl swam in her head. A cold voice spoke to her: who did she think she was? What kind of friend was she? Mercedes didn't have the right to be frustrated. Who was she? She meant nothing. She was nothing.

The moment Santana's mind caught up with her thoughts she felt sick. What was she thinking? Mercedes was awesome, why the hell was she bad mouthing her like that? Well, bad... thinking her like that. Whatever the case, she shouldn't be thinking like that. Mercedes was a good friend. So was Rachel. Santana stood there for a while, motionless in her room, thinking about how unhappy she was making everyone - including herself. She needed to fix this; she hated feeling like a disappointment to people she cared about. That was decided then, she's going to do something.

Sent:

Okay, gotta go now, see ya soon.

No reply came. She quickly grabbed a jacket from her closet and got her keys that she'd left in her backpack. Double checking that she had everything, she ran down the stairs with purpose.

"Santana, I've told you about running down the stairs like a madwoman!" came her mother's voice from the living room.

Santana jumped as she was slipping on her sneakers. She'd forgotten about her mom and Paul. "Sorry," she called back as sincerely as she could, "I'm going over to Mercedes house for the evening."

She listened out for her mother's response but heard only silence. The low murmuring of the television she had heard before she'd spoken had died down.

She grimaced slightly. The silence was suffocating. Santana was about to shout again but decided to just go into the room instead of having a conversation from the other side of the house.

Santana poked her head around the door frame, "I'm going over to Mercedes house for the evening." She repeated a little quicker. She was about to walk back towards the door when Paul's voice called for her, "Wait, come in here." Santana sighed but stepped fully into the room. She hadn't noticed before because she'd been rushing, but her mother and Paul were cuddling on the black leather sofa adjacent to the television.

Her mother sat up a little "I thought you were watching a movie with us?"

Santana's eyes flickered towards the television, which was displaying the menu screen for Tangled. "Uh, yeah I was but -" she didn't want to tell them she had to go and find Rachel because she'd been a douche, so she settled for: "Something came up. I don't know what time I'll be back but I'll text you later." she turned to leave.

Again she was stopped, "What, are you too old to give your Mami a goodbye kiss now?"

Santana crossed the room to give her mother a kiss on the cheek. Her mother snuggled further into Paul and let out a content sigh as Santana high was 5-ing Paul. She smiled at them both and turned to leave again.

"Ooooh, why are you in such a rush? Are there going to be any boys there?" Paul teased, wagging his eyebrows. Santana's smile faltered and she coughed awkwardly. She coughed long enough for colour to fill her cheeks from the lack of oxygen. Concerned glances were sent from where her mum and Paul was sitting, neither of them actually making an effort to get up.

"I'm okay, I'm fine." she managed to wheeze out, "Uh, but no. No boys." she couldn't make eye contact with anyone in the room so she was talking more to her feet. "Bye then" she mumbled and practically flew out the room. She rushed to her car - her mother had taken her to get it back from her father's place a couple of days before - and jumped in.

She felt jittery as she drove the 5 minutes to Mercedes' house. She didn't even notice the silence in the car because her head was going a mile a minute. What if Rachel wasn't there? What if she wanted space? What was she even going to say to Rachel? Santana filled her cheeks with air and slowly released a breath and tried to collect her thoughts.

She pulled up outside Mercedes' house and sat in her car for a while, trying to compose herself. She gave herself a little pep talk, took another deep breath, ran towards the house and confidently knocked on the door. It swung open and Santana froze.

What the hell was Brittany doing here?