Ch. 2 Secrets
(LUKE)
We keep kissing for several minutes and it's getting more and more heated. I've never felt such a rush when kissing a girl; I've never felt so much passion in a kiss either. She's almost three years younger than me and I know my parents would say my feelings for her are wrong but I can't help it. I want to feel more of her but the bell rings and we pull apart. She looks at me, we're both sort of frozen and she has the look of guilt on her face.
"We can't do this," she says and runs out of the classroom.
I sigh and hit the bookshelf but not too hard, I have never had so much trouble with a girl. Then again I've never had feelings for a girl like Maya either. I leave the classroom and almost run into Owen.
"What were you doing in Mr. Perino's empty history class?" Owen asks cocking an eyebrow.
"I uh left some notes in there; I need some books from my locker." I say quickly and walk away before he can ask any more questions.
The whole rest of the day all I can think about is Maya, this sucks, I shouldn't be so preoccupied with the girl. She's young, small, nerdy, into music, knows nothing about hockey and entirely not my type. The girls I go for are more like Jenna and Alli or the puck bunnies, more my age and sluttier. I happen to know she has Whisper Hug practice after school, because Becky has a crush on Adam and has memorized the boys schedule. After school I head to Ice Hounds practice but all I can think about is Maya still.
"Baker, where's your head at you suck today." Dallas barks at me when I miss three shots in a row at practice.
"Sorry man I've got a lot on my mind." I apologize.
"Okay well go fix whatever it is because you can't play this badly at the game on Wednesday." Dallas orders me.
"Okay, I'm going, I'll try." I say quietly and skate to the locker room.
After I shower and change I drive back to DeGrassi, I see Adam's car here still so I know Maya's still here. I sit on the picnic table and watch the doors and when I see them starting to come out I hide in the trees.
"You sure you don't need a ride Maya?" Imogen asks her.
"No I'm meeting Katie at the Dot she's with Jake right now. See you guys tomorrow." Maya waves.
I wait until everyone else is in their cars and gone, Zig seems to be getting a ride home from Mo, then I run up behind Maya and pull her into an alley and out of sight.
"What now? Shouldn't you be at hockey practice?" She asks in an annoyed tone.
"I was told to leave because I was distracted." I confess to her.
"By me?" She asks and sounds a little hopeful.
"Yes by you!" I respond.
She looks happy and then her face changes. "Luke we can't do this, you're too old for me, we're all wrong for each other this can't happen." She says in a firm voice.
She starts walking away but I grab her hand and pull her back to me. "I know, I know we're all wrong for each other so why can't I stop thinking about you?"
"I can't stop thinking about you either," she admits with a small smile.
I smile, cup her chin and mash my lips to hers. Her hands go to my shoulders and she stands on her tiptoes as she parts her lips and my tongue slips between her lips. I don't know how long we kiss but she pulls away long before I want her to.
"We can't do this," she says sadly trying to pull away but I'm not about to let her go.
"Yes we can!" I insist to her.
"But what about our friends, my family, your family! No one is…" she starts but I cut her off by giving her a quick kiss.
"Then we won't tell them," I reply.
"What?" She asks.
"We won't tell them, our friends, our families, anyone. We'll keep it secret." I tell her.
"So you want us to lie, to everyone about us being together?" She asks like I'm crazy.
"No I want us to be together and not tell anyone unless they specifically ask if we're dating. It's not lying it's just keeping a secret, a very big secret but a good one. Look all I know is that I can't get you off my mind, that every time we kiss I want more and I want to be with you more than any other girl I've ever liked, ever known. As wrong as we are for each other, as screwed up as this is I think we need to give this a shot and if it means having to keep it a secret then I'm okay with that." I proclaim.
She looks happy and shocked all at once, she's not saying anything or moving or breathing even. I stroke her cheek and she finally lets out a breath.
"Okay we'll try…this secret romance thing but we're going to have to be careful if anyone finds out they're probably going to make us break up or spread it around school and Katie will most certainly make us break up. We're going to have to sneak around even to see each other." She says.
"I know, this isn't going to be easy but the best things are worth fighting for. Give me your phone," I tell her and she pulls it from her purse and hands it to me. "I'm putting in my number so we can text each other and arrange to meet." I tell her as I start punching buttons.
"You can't put in your name; people are bound to figure it out." She says in a slightly panicked tone.
"Okay then I'll put my number in under contact name SB for secret boyfriend and if anyone asks just say it's someone's initials." I tell her as I use her phone to call my phone. "Now I have your number and I'm labeling your contact as SG for secret girlfriend." I say handing her phone back to her.
"I have to go meet Katie, I'll see you tomorrow. We're doing this; we're actually doing this right? We're dating in secret?" Maya asks like she can't believe it.
I smile and kiss her softly. "We're doing this. Go meet Katie before she comes looking for you." I command her.
She smiles at me and then runs out of the alley, I watch her until she disappears and then walk back to my car to drive home.
"Luke is that you?" Mom calls as I come in the house.
"Yeah it's me," I call back setting down all my gear.
"You're early; I wasn't expecting you home for another hour. What about practice?" Mom asks.
"It ended early but I'll have extra practice tomorrow since we have a game Wednesday." I tell my parents. I hate lying to them and I'll have to pray for forgiveness but I know my parents would never let me date Maya.
"Why did it end early? No one got hurt did they?" Becky asks joining us in the kitchen.
"Something was wrong with the ice; coach says it'll be fixed by tomorrow." More lies.
It's not like I've never lied to my family before, especially over a girl. My parents don't exactly believe in causal dating and they want to meet everyone we date. I usually hide my dates because a steady girlfriend is not my thing. Becky on the other hand is the sainted daughter and does everything our parents want including bringing guys home for approval. She's less than a year younger than me and she's only been on three dates and had one boyfriend for a couple of weeks. After dinner with my family I go upstairs to start on homework but my mind keeps drifting back to Maya.
"So who's the new crush and please tell me it's not a puck bunny this time." Becky says quietly coming into my room.
I scowl at her a bit. "I don't have a new crush and I only flirt with the puck bunnies. I'm just preoccupied with hockey stuff." I tell her.
"Okay sure if you say so," she says walking out with a dubious look on her face.
I love my sister but she can be nosy, but there's no way she'll find out about me and Maya. Now I just need to get Maya off my mind and get my homework done.
(MAYA)
I was half asleep when I heard tapping on my window; I look at my clock to see it's after midnight. At first I think it's rain but it stops and isn't regular like rain. When it starts again I get up and go to my window, pulling back my curtain slowly to see Luke standing there in the moonlight and I can't help but smile when I see him. Quietly I open my window to let him in, he crawls in and joins our lips immediately. His skin is freezing from the chilled winter night air but I don't care, the kiss is still amazing.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper when our lips separate.
"I couldn't sleep, I had to see you." He tells me and I smile.
"If my parents or Katie finds you here they're going to flip out and kill us both." I point out.
"I know but I had to see you, get another kiss to last me through the night." He tells me and I feel myself blush.
"You have to go, we both need to sleep and if anyone finds you here we're dead. I'll see you tomorrow; I can probably sneak away for morning break." I tell him.
"Okay I'm going." He says putting our lips together again.
I part my lips and allow his tongue in, putting my hand at the back of his neck and deepening the kiss. He pulls away after a minute and I don't want him to go but I know he has to.
"Go," I insist pushing him to the window.
He climbs out the window and I go over to close it, he stops when he's out and kisses me again then he leaves and I close the window. I get back in bed and fall asleep quickly and very happily. I have a wonderful dream about Luke and I, we're at school and he has his arms around me, he leans me against the lockers and kisses me passionately and everyone around us, all our friends and family think it's adorable. I'm a little sad when I wake up because I know that's not going to happen but I perk up again at the thought of just seeing Luke.
"Okay spill what's going on?" Katie asks as we're driving to school.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"You're unusually happy this morning and you were all giddy last night, so what is going on?" Katie asks again.
"Band practice went really well. Things are going really good for us that's all." I tell her.
"Okay well I've never seen you this happy about Whisper Hug before. Come to think of it I've never seen this happy at all before." Katie remarks.
"Then stop being so suspicious and be glad that your little sisters happy." I reply.
"I am glad but it's my job as big sister to always be suspicious." Katie responds.
We get to school and he's there in a large group with most of the other Ice Hounds on the steps. I want to run to him, jump in his arms and kiss him again but he doesn't even look at me. Of course he doesn't we're a secret and we have to stay that way, I look away from the hockey team and seeing my friend's wave to them.
"Maya, I need help picking out a dress for the Miss DeGrassi pageant. Should I wear blue or red?" Tori asks.
"Huh oh red, definitely red." I reply.
"You look like you're halfway in lala land what's going on in your head?" Tristan asks.
"I'm just worried about French class," I lie.
"French class? Why?" Zig asks.
"Oh I bet you're nervous about seeing Cam your crush!" Tori taunts in a sort of sing song voice.
"You have a crush on Cam?" Zig questions.
"No I don't I'm nervous because Madame said there might be a pop quiz today." I lie again, secret relationships are hard.
"She did? When did she say that? Oh my god I'm not at all prepared for a pop quiz. Excuse us Zig we need to go study." Tori insists kissing Zig quickly and pulling me and Tristan away by our hands.
Of course we have no pop quiz in French much to Tori's relief. I don't really have to pay attention in music and all I can think about during class is that I'll be seeing Luke as soon as it's done.
"I'm meeting Zig on the picnic tables, we'll see you guys in English." Tori says and skips off.
"I have to go meet Eli and Becky to discuss things for the play. Maybe you should go find Cam and see if you can move you're crush along." Tristan teases just as I get a text.
SB: Bleachers, back end of the soccer field.
"That's okay I have plans, I'll see you in English Tris." I tell him and walk down the hall.
I drop my backpack in my locker and then run to the far end of the soccer field. Luke is there under the bleachers and no one else is around but he still takes my hand and pulls me back into the trees. Gently leaning me against a tree he puts his lips on mine, my lips part for him instinctually. His tongue goes into my mouth, stroking my tongue; his hands go around my waist and pull my body to his. I love this feeling, this feeling I have when I'm kissing him, I wish I could always feel this way, that the whole world felt this way. We keep making out until we hear the bell in the distance and I push him away gently.
"Luke we're going to be late, we have to go." I tell him.
"You go; I won't get in trouble if I'm late. The school loves us." Luke says in a confident voice as he straightens his Ice Hounds jacket.
"You are such a conceited jerk!" I scold him.
"And you're a prissy goody two shoes." He shoots back then grabs me and kisses me again.
"Luke I have to go, I'm going to be late." I insist pushing him away again.
"Go then, you better run though, the late bell is going to ring in two minutes." He says in a slightly mocking tone.
"You can be such an ass!" I reprimand him and then take off running.
I run all the way back, reaching my locker just as the late bell rings. I take out my backpack and then run to English class bumping into Cam as we try and get through the doorway at the same time.
"Sorry Cam," I say breathlessly as running all that way has tired me out.
"Mr. Saunders, Miss Matlin I assume you have a wonderful excuse for being late?" Miss Dawes questions.
"Sorry Miss Dawes," Cam and I say together but neither of us gives her a reason for our tardiness.
"Take your seats please and no more tardiness." Miss Dawes tells us.
English drags by as Miss Dawes talks about Jack London, when it's done I leave for my locker to stash some books before math.
"So why were you late to class?" Tristan asks as he follows me to my locker and leans on the one next to it.
"I was in the garden." I tell him.
"Running from the garden made you that out of breath? Geez and I thought I was out of shape." Tristan replies and I scowl at him.
"Can we go to math now?" I request.
Math, much like English seems to drag by and my mind begins to wander. The four of us eat lunch in the caf and so does the hockey team. I sit down next to Tori with my bag lunch and can't help but look over at Luke. I remember our make out session behind the soccer field and smile.
"See I knew you had a crush on Cam, you should go talk to him." Tori says elbowing my side.
"I don't have a crush on Cam," I repeat watching as Tristan walks past the Ice hounds table and some of them make rude comments. Cam doesn't, he just puts his head down and Owen is curiously quiet, he's not stopping them but he is watching them. I narrow my eyes at the whole table as Tristan sits down with us. "I'm wondering why this school even needs a junior pro hockey team." I reply to Tori.
"My brothers on the team and I have to agree with you." Tristan remarks.
"Your brothers on the team?" Zig asks.
Tori gives him a look and throws a cracker at him. "Duh Owen Milligan, Tristan Milligan!" Tori points out.
"Well they don't look alike and I really wasn't paying attention to the hockey team members." Zig replies then looks at Tristan. "So why's your brother such a jerk?" Zig asks.
"He's really not a jerk, most of the time; he just cares about what people think." Tristan replies.
"No he's a jerk, they are all jerks!" I tell them losing my appetite and getting up from the table.
I leave the caf and glare at the hockey team on my way out. I get as far as the memorial garden before I get a text.
SB: Meet me after band practice, 4:30.
SG: Can't dinner with the fam.
SB: Meet me tonight then, I'll come over.
SG: Not a good idea. Have to go.
After texting him back I turn off my phone. Whisper Hug practice gets called off because Adam and Imogen had play stuff. Katie's doing something with Jake so I walk home and it gives me time to think. What I think is that I'm letting my hormones over run the rest of me. By the time I get home I'm determined to break up with Luke. We are so wrong for each other, we are exact opposites and we shouldn't be together. In spite of how I feel when I'm kissing him and with him, he's a pig headed jerk and we can't be together. I keep this determination all through dinner and all through getting ready for bed. I even go to bed still angry and start to fall asleep angry until I hear tapping at my window again. I put on my big fluffy pink robe that covers me completely and go to the window, knowing it's Luke. I open my blinds and crack my window open a little enough to sit on the window sill.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him indignantly.
"I came to see you; you never answered any of my texts. Are you mad at me?" He asks putting his hand on mine and I take mine away.
"Yes I'm angry you were mocking my best friend at lunch!" I snap irately and I'm not keeping my voice down.
He takes me by the waist and pulls me out of the window putting my feet on the cold grass and I shiver.
"I always mock the younger kids at lunch it never bothered you before." He says.
"We weren't secretly dating before! Are going to mock me too if your teammates do it?" I ask him.
"Well yeah," he admits, I glare at him and try to climb back in my window and he stops me. "I've always joined in the mocking if I suddenly stop they're going to know something's up. What do you want me to do?" He inquires.
"I want you to stop being such a jerk all the time! I can't believe I fell for such a narrow minded Neanderthal!" I exclaim.
"And I want you to be taller, with more curves and worship my hockey prowess but I fell for the skinny musician geek! I'm not perfect Maya, you're not perfect but maybe together we are." Luke argues.
"And maybe we're a disaster! You're a bigot, I'm accepting. You're a jock and I'm…"
My sentence is cut off by his lips but not by talking he's kissing me again. I'm still angry with him but somehow that anger turns into passion in the kiss.
"What's going on?" A deep voice breaks us apart and we look over to see Owen standing at the edge of my yard.
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