Ch. 9 Forgive Me
(CLARE)
"Whoa I feel kinda dizzy," I say sitting on the edge of the bed and Dallas sits next to me so I hand him back his flask. "You know what's ironic about this whole situation is that he's getting superfluously jealous over something he really has no need to be." I inform Dallas.
"You have a big vocabulary for a drunk girl," Dallas remarks.
"It comes from being a writer am I drunk?" I giggle answering my own question. "These shoes are so uncomfortable I don't know what I was thinking," I say trying to take my shoes off.
I try kicking them off but that doesn't work so I try to undo the buckle but while my vocabulary has remained intact even when inebriated my hand eye coordination seems to be gone.
"Here let me," Dallas says.
He gets off the bed, kneeling down he picks up my foot putting it on his leg and takes off one shoe then does the same with the other leg. Only when he takes off this shoe he kisses my knee.
"What are you doing?" I question feeling my chest get tight.
"You wanted your shoes off," Dallas shrugs.
"And that's some secret sign for you to kiss me?!" I exclaim trying to get off the bed.
Dallas pushes me back to the mattress and gets on top of me straddling me at the hips.
"Come on Clare, you know you want it, you wore a tight black dress that makes you look like sex in a bottle." Dallas says pinning my arms down.
Dallas leans down to kiss me but I turn my head and his lips connect with my cheek instead. He manages to hold both my wrists down with one hand and uses the other to go up my leg under the skirt of my dress. I know exactly where his hand is headed and what he's thinking, I start struggling against him but it's not doing much good.
"DALLAS GET OFF OF ME!" I scream.
I know the music is loud and doubt that anyone in the party heard me, the thought goes through my mind that I might be raped in Drew and Fiona's loft by Adam's billet brother. I start to fill physically ill; the blood drains from my face as tears run from the corner of my eyes onto Drew's bed. Dallas' hand has nearly reached it's destination and my mind starts to take me away so I won't be mentally present while being raped then the door bursts open!
"DALLAS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING GET OFF OF HER!" Luke yells very loudly.
"Butt out Baker this is none of your damn business!" Dallas growls at him while not getting off of me.
"She's Owen's girlfriend and you're about to rape her!" Luke barks at him grabbing Dallas by the back of the collar and yanking him away from me.
Dallas whirls around and tries to punch Luke but he ducks hitting Dallas on the jaw just as the better part of the rest of the party comes running in. Most of them stop near the doorway but Adam, Jenna, Alli and Drew come in. I'm still sitting on the bed shaking a little and crying a lot, Adam comes over and hugs me, Jenna and Alli sit on my other side while Drew stops Dallas from hitting Luke.
"What's going on?" Drew asks.
"Dallas was on your bed on top of Clare with her wrists pinned down and his hand up her skirt!" Luke tells him.
I have my head buried on Adam's shoulder so I don't see what happens but I hear another punching sound.
"Fuck my nose, you broke my nose Baker!" Dallas snarls.
"Yeah you fucking deserve it dude you attacked Clare who's dating one of my best friends and is my brother's friend and in my room! Get the hell out, go have your nose looked at, tomorrow I tell my mom." Drew tells him in an angry voice.
Dallas kind of growls but does leave as I hear the front door slam.
"You okay Clare?" Adam asks in a calm voice.
"I want to go home," I tell him picking my head up as I wipe the tears from my face.
"I'll go find Owen," Fiona says as Adam helps me up.
Bianca brings my jacket and purse to me, Alli and Jenna help me get the jacket on.
"We can't find Owen anywhere, just Cam passed out in Fi's room." Imogen tells me as she comes back in the room with Fiona, most of the others have dispersed now only Zig, Mo, Alli, Jenna, Drew, Bianca, Adam, Becky and Luke are still with me.
"I can call his cell," Drew offers but I shake my head.
"No I just want to go, I'll walk." I insist.
"I'll take you home Clare, you shouldn't be walking by yourself this late." Luke says.
I nod, he grabs his jacket, Adam, Becky, Alli and Jenna hug me before I leave and Drew assures me Dallas will be punished or get the crap kicked out of him again when Owen finds out. I go down to Luke's car with him and he starts driving.
"Thanks Luke for the ride and for getting Dallas off of me." I tell him in a shaky voice.
"Don't worry about it, Dallas is a jerk and you're my friend." Luke replies.
"Yeah he's a huge jerk and I wish he wasn't living with my best friend." I say. My stomach is churning; I feel everything ready to come back up. "I don't feel so good; I shouldn't have had that alcohol Dallas gave me. Can you pull the car over please?" I request of Luke after he's been driving a few minutes.
Luke stops next to some apartment building, I get out of the car and vomit behind some bushes as much from the alcohol as the buildup of emotions from Dallas' attack. After vomiting a couple of times I return to the car and Luke looks at me.
"You alright?" He asks.
"Not really," I reply.
Luke drives a couple of blocks to a convenience store and parks; he goes in while I wait in the car.
"Here you need these," he says handing me a bottle of water and a cup of coffee. I drink some of the water first to get the taste of vomit from my mouth, then I start sipping the coffee. Luke stops the car a short time later at the park near DeGrassi, he gets out comes over and opens my door. "Come on you need some fresh air and I doubt you want to go home shaking like a leaf." Luke says helping me out of the car.
"Thanks," I smile taking the coffee.
We climb onto the hood of the car and lean against the windshield looking at the stars as I try to calm down.
(MAYA)
Cam tastes like beer and he's kissing me with a lot of force, at least he's not that hard to push away since he's so drunk.
"Cam you're drunk!" I exclaim standing up quickly.
Cam grabs my arm and his grip is really strong, he's standing now but he's kind of wobbly.
"I like you Maya and I know you like me stop fighting it." Cam says pulling me to him and holding me close leaning in to kiss me again.
"Cam stop it!" I assert covering his mouth with my hand so he can't kiss me. "Cam let me go!" I plead in a louder shriller voice as I struggle in his arms.
The door slides open and Owen is in the doorway, he looks at us and slides the door closed again.
"You have three seconds to let go of her rookie!" Owen says in a calm but threatening voice as he starts walking toward us. "One…two…"
Cam's drunken brain registers Owen's threat and he lets go of me. I back up and hide behind Owen, shaken but unharmed.
"We were just kishing, it's none of your business Owen." Cam slurs as he stumbles.
"He forced a kiss on me," I inform Owen.
"When a girl says no it means no! Stay away from Maya!" Owen says and then punches Cam really hard.
Cam falls onto the bed and doesn't get up again, his eyes are closed and I can't tell if he's breathing.
"Did you kill him?" I ask Owen as I get closer to Cam.
"Nah he's just passed out, he was pretty drunk. Are you okay?" He asks me.
"Yeah fine just shaken, I was pretty scared thanks for rescuing me." I say.
"No problem nobody hurts one of my friends. Come on let's get you some fresh air." Owen says.
He takes my hand and pulls me out the window to the fire escape and takes me up a few stairs. He lets go of my hand when we're sitting and I lean my head on the wall with a shaky sigh.
"This is not how I saw my night going, I thought I'd come and talk to Luke, you'd take one look at Clare and take her into a back bedroom and forget everything else. We'd all make up and everything would be all happy again." I remark.
"Yeah this isn't how I thought tonight would go either, Clare looks super hot but she still won't talk to me." Owen replies.
"Well why don't you just stop asking her, why is it so important that you know?" I ask him.
"I don't know, because it feels like she's hiding something from me. I had this idea about who she was and now that might not be the truth." Owen responds.
"So if Clare isn't who you thought she was you won't like her anymore?" I ask him.
Before he can answer we hear Fiona's bedroom door slide open. "No just Cam passed out on your bed." Imogen says and then closes the door again.
"No I'll still like Clare, I've liked her for a long time but if she…Clare's always been the good girl, the prudish saint who barely kissed at least that's what I thought it's what everybody thought. I tried to talk to her tonight but she just got mad at me again." Owen gripes.
"Well at least you tried I couldn't even talk to Luke, I could barely look at him. As soon as our set was over I ran into Fiona's room to avoid him." I lament.
"So you are avoiding him, why?" Owen questions.
"Cam kissed me the other day and I was afraid to tell him because for a second just a second I kissed him back. I pushed him away and told him no." I confess to him.
"Rookie kissed you before?! Kissing him back for just a second isn't bad just tell Luke. He'll probably be more angry that Cam got drunk tonight and was forcefully kissing you. You should just tell him, he'll probably be pretty pissed but he'll be angry at Cam not you." Owen advises me.
"Yeah you're right," I sigh although my stomach knots up just thinking about telling Luke.
"And I should try and talk to Clare again, I hate fighting with her." Owen says.
We stand up, go back inside through the window, Cam is still passed out on the bed. We go back to the party, music is playing on the stereo, we look around but I don't see Luke or Clare.
"I don't see either of them," I say to Owen over the music.
"Neither do I," Owen replies then whistles really sharply and Drew looks over at us.
"Dude there you are, where the hell have you been?" Drew asks.
"Maya was upset and we were talking outside, have you seen Clare?" Owen asks.
He leaves out Luke's name so Drew doesn't suspect anything, Drew's face changes though, he goes from smiling to sort of angry and something I can't place.
"Luke took her home; they left about ten or fifteen minutes ago." Drew tells us.
Instead of knots in my stomach now I feel a huge weight and my chest gets tight with fear of betrayal. Owen has it too, I can tell because he gets very tense, his whole body gets tight, his fists clench and I see fire in his eyes. I'm worried too but I shake it off because I know Clare and Luke would never do that to us.
"Why the hell would he take her home?" Owen asks with a clenched jaw.
"Something happened or almost happened and Clare wanted to go home. We looked for you but couldn't find you. She wanted to walk home but Luke said he would take her." Drew tells us.
"What happened?" Owen questions.
"I think you should find out from her," Drew replies.
"I'm supposed to stay the night at Clare's can you take me Owen?" I ask.
"Yeah come on," Owen says walking for the door.
We grab our jackets, I grab my purse and we leave the condo. We get into Owen's car and start driving to Clare's house.
"They wouldn't cheat on us Owen," I assure him after we've been driving a minute.
"I know but why would they leave together what the hell happened? Clare was pretty pissed at me and Luke was all worried about why you were avoiding him, maybe…"
"No they wouldn't something else happened, you saw the way Drew's face changed. Wait that's Luke's car," I point out as we approach the park near the school.
Owen pulls into the parking lot, two people on the hood of the car sit up a little and look over at us, it's Clare and Luke. Owen parks next to them and we get out, Luke gets off the hood of the car leaning against it and I lean next to him. Clare stays on the hood of the car and hardly even looks at Owen; he goes around to her side and leans on the car.
"Drew said something happened why'd you leave with Luke?" Owen asks her.
"Because no one could find you and after Dallas attacked me in Drew's bedroom I wanted to leave!" Clare tells him in a sharp voice.
"What do you mean Dallas attacked you?" Owen questions.
"I mean I was angry with you and Dallas started talking to me, he offered me a drink from his flask and I very stupidly took it. I only had a couple of sips but it was really strong. I talked to Dallas for a minute, complained about my shoes but couldn't get them off so Dallas offered to take them off for me. Which he did, then he kissed my leg and suddenly he was on top of me on the bed with my arms pinned over my head and his other hand was feeling up my leg. I yelled for him to get off me, he tried to kiss me then Luke came in and pulled him off me." Clare confesses to him and even though her back is to us I can hear that she's crying.
"I punched him and broke his nose," Luke tells Owen.
"Good cause I'm going to kill him on Monday," Owen says then gets right in front of Clare putting his hands on her lower back. "Are you okay?" Owen asks her.
"I got drunk, was almost raped and threw up so I'm awesome!" She says sardonically.
"I'm so sorry I should have been there and I'm going to tear off Dallas' dick for ever thinking about touching you. Are you still drunk? How badly did you throw up?" Owen questions in a concerned voice.
"I just vomited a couple of times and Luke got me water and coffee so I'm better now. Where were you?" She questions back.
Owen looks at me and I shake my head, then he looks back at Clare. "I was helping Maya. How'd you end up in Drew's bedroom with Dallas?" Owen inquires.
"After my first sip of whatever was in his flask Dallas pulled me in there and I shouldn't have gone but I wasn't thinking straight and I was so annoyed at you because you wouldn't drop it. You want to know how I know about the cave? I was taken there when I was twelve by some older boys," Clare is saying and the three of us all have the same thought as we all look at her shocked and tense up, "to play poker." She finishes and we relax.
"Huh?" Owen questions.
"Come on I'll tell you all about it," Clare says getting off the hood of the car taking Owen's hand and pulling him off to a bench a short distance away.
"What did Owen mean when he said he was helping you?" Luke asks me.
"The other night when Cam came over to work on our project he kissed me and I was afraid to tell you because for a second I kissed him back." I admit to Luke.
His face gets hard and real red. "You kissed him back?! So what you like Cam now?" He asks.
"No I like you, I only kissed him back for a second because liking him would be easier but I don't like him I like you. Then tonight Cam came into Fiona's bedroom, I was getting some fresh air at the window and Cam was drunk. I told him to sit down on the bed and he said I was pretty then he kissed me. I pushed him away and tried to leave but he grabbed me and he tried to kiss me again. Owen came in and made Cam let me go and punched Cam who then passed out." I inform him.
"So you and Clare were both attacked tonight, I'm going to kill Cam on Monday. I'm sorry I wasn't there but I'm glad Owen saved you." Luke tells me.
"It's okay, I'm fine really I just got kissed, it sounds like Clare's attack was scarier. If you'd saved me people may have figured out something was going on with us and I'm glad you got to Clare in time. Can you forgive me for kissing Cam for a seconds and being afraid to tell you?" I ask Luke.
"There's nothing to forgive, Cam kissed you and I understand why you were afraid to tell me." Luke says picking me up putting me on the hood of the car and attaching his lips to mine.
His tongues glides over my lip and I open my mouth allowing his tongue access. My arms go around his neck, kissing him feels so good; I begin kissing him with more fervor. We keep kissing like this until I shiver, not from Luke's touch but the cold breeze.
"We should go, get you somewhere warm." Luke says.
We look over at Clare and Owen to see her sitting on his lap as they make out.
"Well I guess they made up," I remark. "We should all get somewhere warm though." I say.
"Hey guys," Luke calls, Owen and Clare stop kissing and look over at us, "it's cold we shouldn't be outside."
Owen helps Clare off his lap and they walk back over to us, his arm around her shoulders.
"So what do you guys want to do?" Owen asks.
"Maya and I don't have to be back at my house for a couple of hours." Clare says.
"Anything inside it's cold out here," I reply.
"Anything?" Luke questions with raised eyebrows.
"Anything we can do in public," I stipulate.
"We could go miniature golfing, there's an indoor course not too far from here and it's unlikely that anyone else will see us on Saturday night but if they do Clare came with Maya and I came with Luke and we just ran into each other." Owen says.
"What happens if someone sees me riding in Luke's car?" I ask Owen.
"You can ride with us," Clare points out.
"Or you can drive Maya and I can ride with Luke." Owen suggests.
"Good plan but Jake has the truck." Clare replies.
"Which is why you will drive Maya in my car," Owen says to her taking his keys from his pocket and holding them out to Clare.
"You're going to let me drive your car?" Clare asks.
"Only because I'm kinda crazy about you," he says kissing her lips softly.
Clare smiles biting her lip and taking the keys from Owen, I give Luke a quick kiss then Clare and I get into Owen's car and he gets into Luke's.
(LUKE)
"So Maya tell you what happened?" Owen asks as I start driving to the miniature golf course.
"Yeah and I'm going to kick the shit out of Cam on Monday for kissing her. Hey thanks for punching Cam out by the way." I reply.
"He deserved it and thanks for saving Clare. Turns out I was worried about nothing and I kind of feel like an idiot now. When she was twelve her sister was going through a hard time and her parents were all consumed with her sister's problems and kind of ignored her. So some friends of her sisters would take her out and keep her occupied, they took her all kinds of places. So I was a jealous idiot for no reason." Owen tells me.
"Well at least you know now," I say as I park at the miniature golf course.
Clare parks a few spaces away and we go into the miniature golf place. Owen and I pay; we get our clubs and balls and start playing, Clare is playing barefoot since her shoes are still at Drew's loft. Maya takes the first shot and misses badly.
"Here let me show you," I say to Maya going behind her and putting my arms around her to help her hit the ball and she gets a hole in one.
She smiles and kisses me sweetly. Owen and Clare are paying more attention to each other than the game but it's fine because I'm paying more attention to Maya than the game too. Owen wins the game and we get pizza since we're all hungry now. Then take the girls to Clare's house, Maya kisses me goodnight and we watch the girls go in. Owen waves to me before driving to his house and I drive home. Becky and Jenna were up in her room chatting away almost all night and it keeps me awake but it's okay because I just lie awake thinking about Maya. Sunday, as always is all about church at our house but I do get to see Maya for a few minutes when I sneak over to her place late that night. Monday morning Becky leaves me as soon as we get to school to go find Jenna. I wait on the steps for Cam who usually comes by bus. The Torres minivan pulls up a short time later Adam gets out of the front and Dallas out of the back, he's got a bandage on his nose and it still looks swollen and bruised.
"Nice nose job captain," I smirk and Dallas glares at me.
"He's grounded and on probation with the team and he'll be on lock down for the tournament only allowed out to play the games. Mom hit the roof when she found out what he did to Clare." Adam tells me. "Speaking of Clare I'm late to meet her later Luke." Adam says walking for the doors.
"Later," I say as I see Katie's car pull in with Maya in the passenger seat.
They walk by me a couple minutes later on their way into the school, Maya and I try to ignore each other so no one catches on but we can't help glancing at each other. Owen arrives next, pulling into the parking lot and then coming to me a minute later.
"Hey Dallas is here, he went in a few minutes ago." I tell him when he reaches me.
"Scuse me I have to go kill a guy," Owen says his face turning hard and malicious.
Owen storms off inside and I see Cam walking up from the bus stop, I go up and grab him pulling him into the trees before he reaches the school.
"I can't believe you kissed Maya what the hell is wrong with you?" I ask picking him up by the collar and slamming him into a tree.
"What do you care?" He shoots back.
"She's become one of my friends since Owen and Clare started dating. Didn't you get the hint when she pushed you away and told you no that she's not into you?! Next time a girl tells you no fucking listen!" I growl at him.
I drop him to the ground and punch him hard in the stomach making him double over then walk into school with a smile on my face.
(MAYA)
It was morning break and I was sitting at a picnic table with Tori. Zig was getting tutoring help from Adam for a science test we had on Friday and Tris was with Dave and Eli in the auditorium rehearsing for the play so I was alone with Tori. She was gibbering on about a pageant she was going to be in but I was thinking how Dallas deserves the busted nose from Luke and the other bruises Owen gave him this morning, and how Cam deserves his black eye.
"We should go out tonight Maya; go guy hunting." Tori suggests out of the blue.
"Uh no thanks Tori," I shake my head.
"Come on Maya have some fun, I'm sorry Cam was a jerk at the party but get over it. If you don't want to hunt a guy for yourself you can help me find a new boyfriend. I need someone that appreciates me, Zig never appreciated me really. He didn't treat me the way I should be treated." Tori says.
"Tori do you even hear yourself? Zig worshiped you and you treated him like dirt! You never appreciated him! All you care about is money and things!" I snap at her.
"You can't talk to me that way you ungrateful little bitch!" Tori snarls back.
"You never appreciated Zig, you think you're better than everyone else but you're not! You're not a princess you're just a bitch!" I bark at her with venom in my voice.
Tori looks flabbergasted that someone stood up to her and then her face turns red and she slaps me. I slap her back and start pulling her hair, she starts pulling my hair, I try to push her away and she scratches my arm with her nails so I push her with my legs. She falls off the table and I get a small clump of her hair.
"You're a bitch and we're not friends anymore," I tell her getting up from the table.
She glares at me but I ignore her and start walking inside, before I reach the doors my shirt gets pulled from behind. I turn around kicking at Tori and manage to slap her again. We start fighting again but aren't at it for long before we're pulled apart, actually Tori is pulled off me by Clare and Adam.
"Whoa what's going on?" Adam asks.
"Just breaking off a terrible friendship." I tell them.
"Tori go inside and clean up, leave Maya alone." Clare tells her.
Tori glowers at me again but goes inside.
"I thought you were tutoring Zig?" I ask Adam as I look over my clothes to see the damage.
"I was we stopped a few minutes ago." Adam tells me.
"Your arm is bleeding Maya let me take you to the nurse." Clare says taking my hand.
We go in to the nurse's office, the school nurse cleans up my scratches, puts a bandage on them then we go into the washroom and she helps me clean up.
"Sad thing is she was my best friend, I don't suppose you need another best friend?" I ask Clare as the bell rings.
"I can always use another best friend," Clare smiles and I hug her.
I leave Clare to retrieve my backpack and get to class unfortunately I have English now with Tori. Cam is in the class too but he's been avoiding even looking at me all day. At least Tris and Zig are in the class too but Tris has been friends with Tori a long time he might side with her. Sure enough when I get to class Tori is talking to Tris surely giving him some warped version of what happened so that she sounds like an innocent victim. Normally I sit on the other side of her but today I sit next to Zig in the back of the classroom.
"So what did happen?" Zig asks.
"Tori was being a bitch and saying you never appreciated her so I called her on it and we started fighting. She's no longer my best friend Clare's my best friend now." I say loud enough for Tori to hear.
"Good I like Clare better anyway; you want to get coffee after Whisper Hug practice tonight?" Zig asks.
"Sounds great we can talk about all the things we want to do this weekend in Ottawa." I reply as the bell rings and the teacher starts class.
Update Soon and shout out to Bluberry24 who guessed Clare new about the cave from the older kids.
Two new things have been added to my profile page; #1 responses to guest reviewers that ask questions or post suggestions and #2 a list of all the stories I plan to write. If you have already requested a story from me and it's not on the list please let me know. If you have a new suggestion for a story feel free to submit it but please take note of how long the list is already and know that I do not have endless free time to write, much as i wish that I did.