The scene before me quickly vanished as my pulsating phone interrupted my dreams. Damn it! It seemed like right before things got really good I always woke up. But lets face it, I didn't need a dream to remember the best night of my life, it was permanently embedded in my memory and it crept up on me every chance it got. I could still feel every kiss, lick and touch Edward placed on my body that night. Instead of all of that I was left with this empty feeling now that not only was Edward, the love of my life, gone, but so was everyone else. They had become like my family. Hell, even I even missed Rosalie although she hated me; you always have that one person in your family that isn't too fond of you right?

I rolled over and forced myself out of the bed. The sun was trying to break it's way through my curtains and I outwardly cursed it for doing so. I didn't want to see that stupid sun shine, there was no light, no brightness in my life. Everything seemed bleak and dark and that's exactly how I wanted to feel at this time. I didn't want to be happy, I wanted to just sit there and waste away. I knew I was beginning to worry Charlie. I had horrible nightmares where I found myself screaming out for help, I couldn't manage to keep interest in anything and I'd often just stare out into space. I guess what worried him most was that I had completely lost my appetite. I hadn't ate since that night.

Must have thought him up. I thought to myself when I opened the door to find my dad about to knock. If only I could think up someone else.

"Morning Bells" My dad said kind of wary. He must have been coming to make sure I hadn't decided to just let the day go by as I laid there in my bed.

"Yea" I replied nonchalantly.

"Good to see you come out. Your school called, they left a message, they wanted to make sure you were okay and that I was aware you hadn't been to school. They said just check with your teachers and you'll be able to make up your work."

"Okay Dad. Thanks."

I slowly dragged my feet to the bathroom. I inspected my waist length chocolate hair, taking in how dry it appeared. I didn't dare touch it for fear that it would crumble on touch. I made a mental note to put some oil in it, or at least wash it... Hell comb it even! The more I thought about it the more I knew those plans would go unfulfilled, I wasn't even going to attempt it. My face was even worse. My skin was blotched and pale. Although I wasn't to fond of the blotchiness, I smiled at my pale appearance. If they could see me now, standing beside them I would blend in. For a second I let my thoughts drift, allowing my subconscious to remind me.

"When you say 'we'-" I whispered.

"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.

I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.

"Okay." I said. "I'll come with you."

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going . . . It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," he said grimly.

I tried to shake the memories of the conversation off. I couldn't start my day off like this. I was trying my hardest to clear my head so I could at least attempt to have a mediocre day. The harder I tried the more the memories came rushing back.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.

There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.

"You . . . don't . . . want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

"No."

Why wouldn't the memories just fade out. I needed this to stop I couldn't take this, I couldn't keep reliving those moments. I found myself wondering if he was thinking of me at this moment. I cursed myself for that, I needed to stop this, to get a hold of myself. Unscrewing the top of the toothpaste, I noticed the burning of my eyes as the tears began to well up. I didn't want another tear filled day. I didn't want to be sad anymore, but I didn't necessarily want to be happy either. I had no reason to be happy. My reason to be happy didn't want me.

He looked to the trees before he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you . . . in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm . . . tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."

He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had.

"You're not good for me, Bella."

I wasn't good enough for him, that was something I knew all along from the moment I saw him sitting at the lunch table with the others. To hear him confirm my opinions as his own were like bullets being shot into my heart. And eight days later the wounds were still open . . . if not worse.

The worst part was wondering what exactly he meant by 'what happened the other night'. Was he referring to my near death birthday party? I didn't really see it as that big of a deal. I was bleeding, they were vampires, put two and two together and what do you get? It was for lack of better words, human nature. But apparently it was a big deal for him. I guess I wouldn't want Jasper or any of them to have to continue on with their lives with the recollection of draining me of mine. But then I thought about the second and definitely more exciting event of that night. I thought everything was perfect and at that moment I thought he did too. We gave our all to each other. Our bodies meshed and intertwined together becoming one and I couldn't think of a better moment. The 'I love yous' poured out of our mouths in declaration to each other. Our love seemed to be at it's highest point, it's climax . . . no pun intended. However the next morning things were as peachy, for him.

"Edward," I said, a strange little catch in my throat, "what is it? What's wrong?"

"You have to ask?" His voice was hard and cynical.

My first instinct, the product of a lifetime of insecurities, was to wonder what I had done wrong. I thought through everything that had happened, but I couldn't find any sour note in the memory. It had all been simpler than I'd expected; we'd fit together like corresponding pieces, made to match up. This had given me a secret satisfaction-we were compatible physically, as well as all the other ways. Fire and ice, somehow existing together without destroying each other. More proof that I belonged with him.

I couldn't think of any part that would make him look like this- so severe and cold. What had I missed?

"What are you thinking?" he whispered.

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I . . . ?" I couldn't finish.

His eyes tightened. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? the truth-don't try to downplay it."

"Hurt?" I repeated; my voice came out higher than usual because the word took me by surprise.

He raised one eyebrow, his lips a tight line.

I made a quick assessment, stretching my body automatically, tensing and flexing my muscles. There was stiffness, and a lot of soreness, too, it was true, but mostly there was the odd sensation that my bones all had become unhinged at the joints, and I had changed halfway into the consistency of a jellyfish. It was not an unpleasant feeling.

And then I was a little angry, because he was darkening this most perfect of all mornings with his pessimistic assumptions.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now."

His eyes closed. "Stop that."

"Stop what."

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward!" I whispered, really upset now. He was pulling my bright memory through the darkness, staining it. "Don't ever say that."

He didn't open his eyes; it was like he didn't want to see me.

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

Wounded, shocked, I followed his instructions unthinkingly and then gasped.

What had happened to me? I couldn't make sense of the fluffy white snow that clung to my skin. I shook my head, and a cascade of white drifted out of my hair.

I pinched one soft white bit between my fingers. It was a piece of down. I silently sent thanks above that Charlie had left for work early, I would have no way of explaining why I resembled a bird at the moment.

"Why am I covered in feathers?" I asked, confused.

He exhaled impatiently. "I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I'm talking about."

"You . . . bit a pillow? Why?"

"Look, Bella!" He almost growled. He took my hand-very gingerly-and stretched my arm out. "Look at that."

This time I saw what he meant.

Under the dusting of feathers, large purplish bruises were beginning to blossom across the pale skin of my arm. My eyes followed the trail they made p to my shoulder, and then down across my ribs. I pulled my hand free to poke at a discoloration on my left forearm, watching it fade where I touched and then reappear. It throbbed a little.

I didn't mind the bruising or the soreness. I was completely elated the next morning. He couldn't seem to fathom how I didn't hate him. He hated himself and no matter what I said could shake that. For some reason I could fight the feeling that that wasn't the only source of his shame. Did things not feel the same for him? I remembered feeling like everything was perfect but maybe I was just too caught up in my own happiness that I didn't notice he possibly wasn't feeling the same. It seemed like everything after that was extremely distanced. He would barely touch me and things just seemed to get further and further between us the days that followed. When he lead me on the walk I figured we would just vent to each other, kiss and make up. The worse thing I could imagine happening was him refusing to have sex with me again or telling me that Jasper wasn't coming back for a while, but I had no expectations of him telling me that he was leaving me. He even went as far as to promise that things would be as if he had never existed, he lied. Every second of every minute I was reminded of him. The picture missing in my scrapbook, the empty space in my bed, his bullet-like words lodged in my heart, were all reminders of his existence.

I pulled my nightshirt up over my head and threw it onto the linoleum floor. Sleepiness still lingered in my mind as adjusted the climate of the shower water. It was still sweltering as I stepped in allowing the stream to wash over me enveloping me in it's humid comfort. The water cascaded over my head, trickling threw my hair. That's as close as it'll get to being washed. I thought. I just didn't see a point. Who did I have to try to make myself presentable for? The steam against my face felt great. This was the most relaxed I had felt in days, I was fighting back an ocean of tears, my stomach was in knots, I felt nauseous, but all in all today was better than yesterday, and hopefully tomorrow would be even better.

I quickly washed my body and stepped out of the shower. As the cool air hit my dripping body I began to feel like my head was floating. I felt cold . . . but I felt sort of flushed, should I feel like I'm sweating? Maybe it's just the water running down. Everything was fuzzy and my vision was beginning to become nothing but the black dots that were invading it. More and more dots seemed to appear out of thin air until there was nothing but the black...

Well darlings here's chapter three! What do you guys think? I know it was a lot of content from NM and BD but I wanted to keep things as real as possible as well as adding my own little twist on to things. Please tell me what you think. I really want more reviews sooooooo... I'm going to upload chapter 4 when I get 10 reviews :)