*Phil POV*
I don't know how long it's been. I forgot all concept of time since Dan left. I distinctly remember a significant amount of time ago he collected his stuff and left. The only words shared were 'where are my hair straighteners?'
'On the counter'
That's it. That was about a month ago, although I can't be sure. I disabled all the clocks. Time shouldn't go on without Dan or Alexa. I go onto the balcony and stare at the people living there lives normally. I wish I could, but nothing can go on without the two people who mean more to me than life itself. I judge the height. It looks high enough.
Over the last however long I've been not going to work, just drowning my sorrows in alcohol. In fact, I've drank enough alcohol in the past couple of months that I could have made a liquor store. I'm quite intoxicated now to be honest. One slight move and I could be free. Free of all life itself. I just need to hoist my leg up and-
'PHILLIP MICHAEL LESTER WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!' Great. Chris chooses the perfect moments to show up. He moved to Swindon with PJ at the same time we did.
'Chriiiiiiiis. How luuuurvely of you to show uuuup' I slur sarcastically.
'I think that's enough of that now Phil' he tries to grab at the bottle I'm holding, but I pull it away.
'Goooo awaaaaayyyyy, I'm a forty one year old maaaan, I can do what I liiiike' he stares at me, ashamed.
'I think you need to go to AA. This is getting ridiculous!' He reaches again for the bottle but I throw it to the other side of the wall.
The glass smashes and glitters the floor, and the brown liquid slides down the wall, forming a small puddle. Then I break down, crying, snivelling and a mess. Chris puts his arm round me.
'Chris, why should I sort it out. My world doesn't turn without the two most beautiful people in the world' he rubs my back calmly.
'Shhh Phil. It's okay. It'll be okay' I cry into his chest, soft sobs, tears making a wet patch in his shirt.
'I love them! Chris I love them! So much Chris! I don't want life without them! I can't! I can't! I CAN'T! I canticanticanticanticant' I repeat those two words softly into Chris' chest while he rubs on my back.
'I'm sure they'll come back. But tomorrow, I want you up bright and early, and I'm taking you to AA. And I have a spare key so don't think that just not answering the door will get you out of it. It's now...where are all your clocks?' I look around pointlessly.
'Turned 'em all off' I shrug.
'Why did you- anyway, what about your phone?' I shrug again.
'I didn't want to talk to anyone, so I haven't charged it in like, what, a month' I try to stand up but I fall onto the floor.
'Jesus Christ Phil, how much have you drunk' I point to a couple of empty bottles on the floor.
'Just today! Jesus! And what if Dan tried to call you? Huh? What if the social worker tries to phone you? Where is your phone?' I gesture lazily to my bedroom. He walks in, grabs my phone and charger and plugs it in by the sofa.
'There, now leave that on. It's now about 8:30, I want you to go to bed, get a good nights sleep and I'm going to pick you up at Eight. The nearest AA that I know of is in Bristol so it's a long drive. Ill phone and book you in' I look at Chris. He's being so helpful. I never noticed how attractive this guy really was. I don't know whether it's the sheer volume of alcohol I have consumed in the past few hours or whether I'm genuinely attracted to Chris, but next thing I know, I am leaning forward and trying to kiss him. he pulls away.
'May I remind you of 3 things.
A) you're so pissed right now that this would be a mistake and you would regret it
B) the divorce isn't final, you're still married remember
And c) I'm happily married Phil. Now I'm leaving, so you don't try to do it again. Have a good sleep.' And with that? He gets up and he's out. My phone vibrates from the sofa next to me, indicating that it's beginning to switch on, but I just fall sideways and almost immediately fall asleep.

The next morning I woke up and my head was pounding. You get used to it after a month or so. I check my phone which has 23 new messages from Carrie and a couple from Chris. I check the texts from Carrie. I delete the conversation and move onto Chris' texts. They both say are you up yet. I text back a quick yes and pull on some jeans and a checkered shirt. I don't bother with breakfast, I don't have any food in. Then the door knocks.

'Hiya Phil!' Chris smiles as I opens the door.
'Ugh come on then let's get this over with' i grab my coat and phone.
'You not gonna offer me a drink or food?'
'Unless you want a glass of vodka and a plate of babybells, then we will get food on the way' I put my wallet into my pocket and leave. The drive to Tesco was quick, and Chris bought breakfast for the both of us. We then jumped back in the car and braced ourselves for the long drive to Bristol.

After an hour of laughing on Chris' part and grunting on my part, i sit up.
'Chris, it's Christmas in 3 weeks. Do you think I'll be able to see Lexi?' Chris sighs softly.
'I don't know Phil. Probably!' I smile, thinking about the chance of getting to see my beautiful daughter again. That's all I can think about for the whole drive, and it surprises me when Chris pulls up and shouts 'we're here!'
I slide out of my seat and slam the door. The huge doors into the building look scary and intimidating, and they at stiff to open as i push it. The woman at the front desk stops typing and looks at me over her glasses.
'Can I...help you?' She says snootily.
'Hi, uh...Phillip Lester?' She types something into her computer, and Chris joins me.
'Oh yes, the meeting is just through there' she points through a door and smiles wryly, but quite clearly judging me.
'Ill be out here waiting, or possibly in a shop. Give me a bell when you're done' Chris smiles and trots away to his car. I shuffle my feet into the hall where there are 3 men and 1 woman sat. I took a seat next to a very pale, ginger guy. As he smiled I noticed he had a gap in his teeth.
'You look relatively normal, so what are you doing here?' I smile back, a little less enthusiastically.
'Alcoholic. Cliché I know. What about you?' He winks at me.
'Sex addict' I laugh. 'Its a serious issue you know'
'Oh I'm- I'm fully aware of- of how serious it- it is' I choke out between laughs. He laughs back and then a guy walked in and shushed us all.
'I'm Jack and I will be the leader of your meeting today. Now I want us to go in a circle and tell about our addiction and why it happened. Lets start here' he flicked his brown and blonde hair and pointed to the one woman. She stood up and tucked her light brown hair behind her ear. She looked very sweet and innocent.
'I'm Heather and ever since I was 17 I have been addicted to hurting other people. When I was 17 someone called me some very horrible names and I lost it' everybody looked at her, shocked. She can't have been any older than 19. The circle went round. There was a tobacco addict, another alcoholic and my friend the sex addict. Then it was my turn to stand up.
'Uh, I'm Phil Lester and I'm an alcoholic. Basically I was married with a child, then my husband went away for work and our daughter was bullied, and she got a rock thrown at her. She lost her memory, and the social workers took her away because I hadn't noticed her self harming and they said I was neglecting her' I felt my eyes begin to mist up and I sat down before I started to cry.

The next hour was boring, just chatting about our problems and reading through leaflets to help get over it.
'Right, that's it. I'll see you next week hopefully, If not, good luck!' Jack wished us farewell and we all left. Just as I was about to leave someone tapped me on the shoulder. I spun round, and the ginger guy, who I'd found out his name was Gerard, was staring at me intently.
'Is your husband by any chance Dan Howells?'
'Yes?' I say more like a question.
'Well, I'm an old friend of his from school, he lived with me' he paused
'He really misses you, Phil'

I'm quite pleased with this chapter to be perfectly honest! I'm going on a really long car drive tomorrow so hopefully I can at least start the next chapter! Hope you enjoyed this, leave a review or pm me if you have any ideas for what I could do, only sub stories though! The main story is already in my head ^_*

Stay awesome,

R&R for free socks!

Love always,

Georgie'xo