Chapter 1. Life on Mars
Pairing: Leah/Jacob
Soundtrack choice: Breathe by Delilah youtube.com/watch?v=aJWsKyDtYGw
(To accompany your reading of the chapter.)
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all the characters.
Note: For some reason Fanfiction dot net keeps chopping out words and sentences from my stories. I don't know why or how to fix this, so sometimes whole sentences don't seem to make sense. So if it bothers you just send me a message and I will mail you the chapter as written.
Leah pulled up and switched off the engine of her Chevy 84. She needed a moment to adjust, to take in the surroundings of a place that she hadn't seen in almost three years .Home.
There were cars, some that she recognized and others that she didn't, parked in front of her mother's house. She could smell them inside. And it made her uneasy. She hadn't spoken to anyone in the community besides the short phone calls to her mother and Seth every couple of months.
She unbuckled her seat belt, turned around and reached for her backpack in the back seat, she rifled through it until she found the invite. She skimmed it for the thousandth time:
'You are cordially invited to the wedding of Susan Clearwater and Charles Swan
…Who request the honour of your presence on 21 January.'
Leah's heart sank a little. She missed her dad.
"So, this is where you're from?" said a soft male voice, knocking Leah out of her reverie.
Leah blinked and then exhaled; she turned to the man sitting next to her, "Yep. Home sweet home."
"When you said you lived out yonder, you weren't lying."
Leah laughed "Shut up, Miguel." Leah playfully prodded her companion "We can't all be big city Babies like you."
The walk up the drive to the house seemed to take forever. Leah's mouth went dry and her guts dropped, she couldn't hear Miguel's incessant chatter through the pounding of her own heart against her ribcage. Her first instinct was to reach for her key, but thought better of it. After all, this wasn't her home anymore. She pressed the doorbell instead, and waited with both clammy hands clasped together.
Much to Leah's surprise it was Emily who opened the door. She was huge. At least 7 months pregnant and positively glowing with a cute long haired toddler attached to her hip. "Leah, Is that you!"
Leah smiled, she was genuinely happy to see her cousin. "It's been a while."
"I'll say." Emily used her free arm to reach for Leah in a half hug or as far as her belly would permit.
"Who is this?" Leah stroked the baby's face.
Emily smiled wider, her pride completely evident. "This is Reuben. Say hello to your Aunty Leah."
"Hi ant-tee Leee-ah." Reuben smiled; a big gap toothed smile then shyly hid his face in his mother's ample bosom.
"He is so big." Leah marvelled, not at the little boy who looked so much like Sam but at the fact that she didn't feel a thing. No hate, no Jealousy, no sorrow at what might have been hers, nothing.
"Yep. He'll be two in a couple of months…"
"Emily, Who is that!" came a familiar voice from the kitchen. Before Emily could open her mouth to answer, Sue Clearwater appeared like an apparition.
Sue paused and opened her mouth as if to say something then promptly shut it again. Her eyes began to tear and she lifted both her hands to her mouth to cover up a gleeful scream. "Leah."
Leah stood, fighting the urge to cry, holding her mother tight; her nose buried into the older woman's neck, "Hi mama." She whispered.
Once they had their fill of hugs and kisses, Leah stepped away from her mother and smiled at Miguel who had patiently observed the emotional homecoming.
"Mom, Emily. This is my friend from California, Miguel Torres."
Sue and Emily exchanged amused looks, which weren't lost on Leah who rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.
"It's lovely to finally meet you Mrs Clearwater, and Congratulations on your impending nuptials."
Sue smiled and shook Miguel's hand "Thank you Miguel. Please call me Sue."
Sue looked back over at her daughter, "I didn't think you'd come. I'd hoped …."Sue stopped and smiled, "And here you are."
Leah feigned a smile. She almost hadn't come, if it weren't for both Miguel and Angel talking her into not missing her mother's wedding, she never would have returned, she could already feel the memories begin to overwhelm her.
Once Leah had gotten a glass of water, and had dropped her and Angel's suitcases in her old bedroom Sue knocked on the door frame "The elders are holding a blessing celebration for me and Charlie on the Beach tonight. You and Miguel should come, Seth's already there and everyone would love to see you…"
Leah doubted that very much, she wasn't ready to face the community just yet and the thought of a confrontation or worse on the beach was enough to bring on a panic attack.
"Sounds fun, doesn't it Leah?" Miguel said a smile on his face as he unfolded a shirt.
Leah grimaced but nodded anyway. "Sure, Mom. We'll meet you there."
Once Sue, Emily and little Reuben had left for the party, Leah flopped down on her bed, "Thanks for nothing, Miguel."
Miguel laughed "You have to make an effort. Now get the hell up!"
Leah moaned, but got up anyway.
-x-
The drive to the beach was a pleasant, but quiet one. With Miguel admiring the Lush vegetation and Leah deep in thought. What if he's there? What do I say? What do I do? I wonder if he'll like my hair.
Once out of the car, Leah looked around at all the familiar faces. Her soul despite its eternal torment found a semblance of peace because she was back amongst her tribe, her kin, her people.
Neighbours, cousins, old school mates and family friends came over, offering hugs, kisses and asking a barrage of questions to her and Miguel. From the corner of her eye Leah spotted the Cullens and members of the Pack. Sam, Quil, Paul, Jared, Embry, and Seth laughing raucously until they saw her. At which point they stopped immediately and all turned their backs, except Seth who gave a small smile. Leah could deal with a cold shoulder or six, but she couldn't see Jacob and although she hadn't wanted to see him ,it hurt not to.
Suddenly Leah began to feel her centre of Gravity begin to shift. Leah felt him long before she saw him. She could sense him, almost taste him in the salty air. He was there; somewhere in the shadows, amongst the buzzing crowd of well-wishers just watching her and it unnerved her, but it excited her even more. She tried to fight the fizzing at the base of her gut, the light headedness and giddiness working its way through her nervous system. She could feel every hair on her body stand up on end, her nipples harden and her heart start to pound. It was strange how the body could recall what the mind tried so hard to forget. Jacob.
Three long years and she still craved him in the worst kind of way. It had taken her almost three long years to expel him from her mind, body and soul, and up until now she had believed that she had sufficiently done the job. But every inch of her core was screaming for him, the pull so acute that Leah had to bite down on her tongue and steady herself.
They'd only ever had one night together, but she could still remember every glorious detail; how it felt to be on him, wrapped around him, with him under the same starlit sky on this very beach. She had relived the moments over and over again, mostly when she was alone, under cover, in the dark, trying to summons his ghost with the touch of her own hands over her own burning flesh. It never quite worked, though. More often than not, she'd end up post climax with a heavy heart and feeling emptier than ever, just half of a whole that resided in the recesses of her memory on a moonlit beach in Washington State.
Some days had been worse than others, some days she couldn't see or feel past the pain of separation. Those were the days she had to barricade herself inside her apartment to stop the temptation to answer the call of his soul to hers. Those were the days that she was sure her heart would explode in her chest, and those were the days that she had spent curled up in a ball on the floor crying and screaming like a wounded animal. It was during one of these episodes that Leah decided that this perpetual state of heartbreak would be her cross to bear for the rest of her life because she had broken one of the Quileutes most sacred rules, she had wilfully walked away from not only her pack but from the one she had imprinted on. Her Soul mate.
Leah hadn't wanted to admit it but she had imprinted on Jacob that night, just as he had done on her. The night fate had chosen to bring them together in the most unforeseeable way on a windy secluded beach.
Leah closed her eyes for a second and shuddered. When she opened them again…
There he stood. Jacob Black.
He stood a short distance away from the celebration-Alone. He stared at her without blinking. Arms crossed, jaw clenched. She couldn't hear his thoughts anymore; he was doing his best to block her out, and the realization that she was no longer part of that privileged circle felt like a dagger to her heart. He was indecipherable but Leah was certain of one thing, and that was if looks could kill she'd be pushing up daisies right now.
Jacob's intense gaze held her to the spot, absolutely arrested. If Leah had forgotten how beautiful Jacob Black the boy had been, it hurt to have a devastating reminder of the outrageously stunning man she had known he would one day become. At almost twenty years old he was absolutely beguiling, but something about him seemed world weary and sad. Her primary instinct was to run over to him and envelope him in kisses and never leave his side again but she suppressed that thought with all of her might and looked away.
Each mental action seemed to have a physical reaction. Ignoring her need to be close to him, whilst he was in actual close proximity, left her feeling weak and breathless.
Paul Lahote and Rachel Black walked over to Jacob, and although Leah couldn't hear what they were saying, she was positive it had something to do with her by the way Rachel looked over at her with something strongly resembling disapproval. Jake simply nodded and looked down at the ground, Rachel began rubbing circles into his back.
" a drink?" Miguel asked obliviously, forcing Leah to shift her focus from Jacob to him.
"Sure." Leah said, as Miguel sauntered off towards the refreshments.
Without trying to be too obvious Leah returned her attention towards Jacob Black who seemed to have gotten into a heated conversation with his sister and Paul. It took her a second to realize that he had broken away from them and was walking towards her.
Leah began to panic. On a wide open beach with people chatting and dancing there really was nowhere to hide. She took a deep breath.
Jacob stopped a few feet in front of her.
"You're back?" He asked gruffly, in such a way that it sounded like a statement.
"Umm, yeah."Leah could feel her heart racing, her mouth drying "… Just for a few days. Just for my Mom's wed-ding." She stuttered.
Jacob didn't say anything, instead he held her gaze. The throng of happy chatty people around them seemed to fade into oblivion. She could hear it-his heart syncing with hers, but it was thunderous and deafening. In an instant a flash passed between them, a memory that only they had created. The memory of their lovemaking.
"Here you go."
Leah jumped in her skin, completely unaware of Miguel's presence. Leah clutched her heart that was now doing an Olympic sprint in her chest.
"Thanks,"Leah looked at Miguel who was holding two cans of Mountain Dew. She took one and looked at Jacob, who was now focussed on Miguel, with an expression Leah couldn't quite comprehend. It wasn't until the sound of a faint snarl that Leah recognized the look of complete contempt for her companion. In a matter of seconds Paul and Jared rushed over, and although they didn't touch Jacob, Leah could tell that they were doing their best to subliminally talk him down off of the proverbial ledge.
"Come and get some food Jacob." Paul said, his eyes never straying from his pack brother.
Jacob didn't move a muscle, but returned his unreadable gaze back to Leah. "No. Suddenly I've lost my appetite." He remarked coldly, as he walked passed her, away from the beach and into the dark.
Leah hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath, until Jacob had passed her and she gasped for air.
"Leah you're shaking." Miguel said, as he wrapped his arm around her.
Leah studied her hands. She was in fact shaking like a leaf.
"So that's the Jacob, huh?" Miguel asked.
Leah nodded sadly, "That's him."
-x-
After Jacob left ,Leah couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. She even accepted a dance with Charlie, who had been working up the courage to ask his soon to be step-daughter for a dance.
After a few more dances, Leah found a spot on the sand by the huge roaring bonfire. She watched the flames leap and dance, letting them hypnotize her.
"Walk with me?" Seth asked, having appeared from out of nowhere.
Leah looked around for Miguel, but he seemed to be fine, deep in conversation with her mom and Charlie Swan, so she nodded, safe in the knowledge that her mother would take care of her guest.
Leah accepted Seth's hand as he helped her up. Once up ,she dusted herself off and linked her arm with her brother's as they bobbed and weaved around party guests .Neither one said a word until they were yards from the beach, and the glow of tiki lamps and raucous chatter and crashing waves were a faint humming sound in the background.
"Are you allowed to talk to me?" Leah asked seriously.
Seth smiled and gripped Leah's hand a little tighter "You're my sister; Of course I'm allowed to talk to you."
A moment passed.
"You seem…."Seth took a moment to search for the words "…different. Calmer."
Leah smiled, "I do Yoga now."
"Oh you're fancy,huh?"
The two laughed and continued their easy pace. Leah inhaled and exhaled as she took in the night time scenery of her home. Had La Push always been so beautiful? Leah couldn't remember, she'd been in the wrong headspace to truly appreciate any of the beauty around her.
"You look good. You grew your hair out." Seth said appreciatively.
Leah instinctively reached for her hair. It was long now, with honey highlights and a feather cut "Yeah, Just something new I'm trying out."
"But doesn't all that hair get in the way, y'know…when you phase?"
"I haven't phased since I left here." Leah said "I haven't needed to. You know Vampires aren't big on direct Sunlight and California has plenty of that."
"California?" Seth asked, half puzzled and half amazed. "I thought you were in Vegas."
"I was for a while, then I moved to San Francisco.", Leah decided to use the opportunity to fill Seth in on where she'd been, what she'd seen and who she'd met in the time she'd been away.
Seth went quiet. Although Leah couldn't hear his thoughts, she had long severed that ability when she left, she could tell her brother had something to get off his chest.
"Seth, What is it?" She stopped walking, forcing Seth to stop as well.
Seth shook his head but failed in his half assed attempt at fooling the one person who had once known him best of all.
"SETH!"
Seth sighed, "Come home Leah. Please, It's not the same here without you. Mom misses you, I miss you, the guys miss you, Jake …"Seth stopped himself for a second.
Leah's heart leapt at the last word her brother had uttered, "What about Jake?"
Seth sat down on a moss covered rock. "You can come home. If you think Jake's gonna be a problem he won't be. He gets the message."
Leah's heart sank "He hates me doesn't he?"
Seth hadn't needed to ask about the who, what and whys his sister was alluding to, he knew. After all, the three had once shared the ability to hear each other's thoughts. He had lived out both his sister and Jacob Black's agony alongside them for a time until Leah's voice had faded and left him with the solitary scream of a heartbroken and tormented Jacob. "Yes." Said Seth evenly ", but he loves you more. Just like you love him."
Leah was flabbergasted. She stared down at her feet.
"Don't deny it." Seth said, reaching for his sister's hand again, thus forcing her to take a seat next to him. "But what I don't understand is why you left."
"I left because it was the decent thing to do."
"Decent for who?"
Leah blinked back tears, she didn't want to cry. She was afraid that she would never stop. "I was beyond messed up, I wasn't in a position to love or be loved. Jacob probably didn't see that at the time but I'm sure he does now."
Seth laughed, but it was laugh of condescension without humour or mirth." After you left, Jacob went to some pretty dark places."
"What do you mean?"
Seth took a deep breath, "About a year after you left, Jake tried to kill himself."
TBC.
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