Chapter Power

Pairing: Leah/Jacob

Soundtrack choice: Heartbeats ( BoyGenius Remix) By JohhnySwim

(www. youtube watch?v=mtaRS8Hwzqo )

Note : forgive me for any lingering errors. Enjoy.

Jacob stopped kissing Leah and sat up on his beat up old couch, his back to her. He leant forward as he ran his fingers through his hair. "What are we doing here Leah?"

Leah licked her swollen lips and straightened up her night shirt. "I thought that was obvious." She quipped. Suddenly feeling superfluous in her own skin.

Jacob turned around to face her, but he wasn't laughing. There was no humour here in this moment .His eyes were still molten and filled with lust but the shade had become darker, denser. "I mean, what is it that you expect from me?"

Leah took a deep breath, the raw tone of Jacob's voice grated on her. She arranged her clothes again, got up off the couch and picked up her coat from the ground, she clutched it to her bosom, hyper aware of the sound of her own heartbeat .She was suddenly embarrassed and ashamed. "I don't really expect anything from you."

The answer just seemed to agitate Jacob , he gritted his teeth and shook his head in frustration."So, this is just morbid curiosity? You just wanted to see if it'd be the same as last time or maybe you wanted to know whether my technique had improved ?"

It was Leah's turn to be incredulous. "No! Of course not."

"Well that's what it seems like to me…"

"Well you're wrong."Leah fought her basic instinct to flee, the humiliation and shame she felt trying to propel her towards the door. She put on her coat, "I love you."

The words seemed to take Jacob by surprise, the look on his face closely resembling horror. "Don't say that…not if you don't mean it." He looked broken and spent, so unlike the façade he put on during the day.

"I do mean it Jake."

"No you don't." Jacob shook his head vehemently, "I just asked you what it is that you expect from me and you just said nothing."

Leah approached him tentatively and got down on her knees, gently resting her hands on his thighs. "I said I don't really expect anything because when it comes to you Jacob Black I want everything…"

Jacob looked down at Leah's hands for a while as they gently rubbed his thigh. "I recall the night I gave you everything ,you didn't want it." Jacob got up abruptly and put some distance between them. He couldn't think when she was that close.

Leah recoiled as if she had been slapped.

Once he was sure there was enough distance between them he spoke again,"I replay that night over and over again, I go over it…", Jacob's voice broke for a second "Did I force myself on you? Make you do something you didn't want to? Did I read the signs wrong? Because If that's what happened then you have to know that I'm sorry."

Leah felt her armour dissolve, and her heart break into a million little pieces. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "No, Jacob! You didn't force yourself on me .I can't believe you'd even go there. I wanted to be with you."

A look of relief crossed Jacob's face "Then why'd you leave me like that?"

She got up from the ground and turned to face him. She wanted to go to him,she wanted to hold him but there was just too much hurt for it to be that simple. Leah opened her mouth as if to answer then thought better of it. She closed her mouth and looked down at the ground, afraid he'd see her mask slip.

"Still the same old Leah. Still Chicken Shit " Jacob shook his head, disappointed.

Leah paused. "What did you just call me?" She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. She could feel frustration bubbling up from the pit of her stomach to her chest.

"I called you Chicken shit." Jacob said with purpose. Venom behind each word.

Leah balled her fists,"Call me that one more time, and I swear to God I'll…"

" Chicken . shit " Jacob got in her face.

Leah barged past him and headed for the door.

Jacob beat her to the punch . He got to the door first and used his huge body to barricade it, intentionally blocking her exit.

"Move." Leah said simply, heat rising to her cheeks. She refused to meet his eyes with her own. Too afraid to see what they would say.

"No."

"Jacob, I swear to God…"Leah could feel her heart rate speed up "… Move or I will move you myself."

Jacob chuckled, not because he found their predicament funny but because it was all he could do to keep from killing her. "I'd like to see you try. You're the one who came to me. You're the one who kissed me." He said low and heavy."Did you honestly think I was just going to let you run away again without an explanation?"

"I wasn't running. I was walking." Leah replied with a smugness she didn't quite feel, dropping her arms and putting her hands on her hips in challenge. She knew it'd be a hell of an effort to take him down and besides he was right, She did come to him and now she owed him an explanation for her actions. So if she wanted to escape this situation she was going to have to use her brain and not her brawn. But words always escaped her when she was in Jacob's proximity, that's what had gotten them into this godforsaken mess in the first place.

Jacob had never wanted to hurt a woman more than he wanted to hurt Leah Clearwater at this very moment. He wanted to wipe the smug, self satisfied look from her face and then he wanted to tackle her to the ground and ravage her with every inch of angry passion he felt raging through his veins. He shook the thought away. "You still can't do it. Can you? You still can't be honest with me."

Leah made a lunge for the doorknob but was intercepted by Jacob's huge hands. "Move, Jacob." Leah warned.

"No."

"I IMPRINTED ON YOU!" Leah exhaled as if she'd been sucker punched. She took a step back and waited a second. She watched the words set into Jacob's psyche. She watched him try to comprehend what she was telling him. What it meant. "That's why I left, are you happy now!?"

The question was redundant, there still wasn't an ounce of happiness to be found, there in Jacob's mechanic shed.

"Don't you ever call me Chicken shit again…" Leah continued, "… Leaving my tribe, leaving my home, leaving my family, leaving YOU was the bravest shit I have EVER done." Leah gasped for air as the words left her mouth.

Jacob seemed to slump, fold into himself as if deflated by the words Leah had just uttered. He walked past Leah, dazed.

"You were right, this thing between us …Let's call it a day."

"What?" Leah followed him. "Let me explain."

Jacob sat down on the couch again. "You imprinted on me and you still found the will to leave. I guess that says it all."He refused to meet her eyes; instead he kept his eyes trained on his scuffed black boots.

Leah felt Jacob slipping away from her. What had just been a roaring fire was now a snow blizzard. She sat next to him. With her hand she gently tilted his face towards her so he had no choice but to look into her eyes.

She wanted him to see her sincerity, to know that she was telling him the absolute truth."I left because I didn't think I deserved you."

Jacob looked at Leah incredulously.

Leah bit her lip as it quivered slightly; taking a deep breath as she summons her bravery and continued to talk.

"You think I left because I didn't love you? No Jake, I left because I did." Leah put her hand on her heart, "I had been in love with you for a while, I hadn't imprinted on you back then but I was falling hopelessly in love with you. You saved me when you broke away and made Seth and I apart of your pack, you stopped me from going insane with grief, you gave me something to channel my energies into, you were my very own knight in shining armour. I told you things I'd never even thought of telling anyone else. You made me feel safe, you made me feel normal…"Leah stopped speaking for a second. She wanted to gauge Jacob's reaction. His beautiful brown eyes studied her face intently urging her to keep talking.

"…I was in love with you. But I knew it was only a matter of time before you imprinted on some lucky girl and I couldn't be there, I couldn't be around to see it happen again, not after Sam and Em. I didn't think my heart could take it…"

"You still should have said." Jacob cut in.

"And what would you have said!?" Leah demanded.

"I would have said that I was falling in love with you, too !" Jacob all but spat.

Leah paused.

Jacob paused. He hadn't intended it to come out as rough as that, but that was how he felt.

It took Leah a few seconds to gather her thoughts and begin talking again ,"…The night I left the party was the night I had decided to leave, it was going to be easy, I figured no one would miss me right away, everyone drunk and having a good time,I was going to go down to the beach to pay my respects to the ancestors, then I was gonna slip away…I didn't count on you looking out for me …I didn't count on you following me down to the Beach…"Leah bit her lip to stop herself from crying but one solitary tear managed to rise to the surface.

Jacob gently wiped it away with his thumb. "I'd already imprinted on you by then. I wanted to be near you."

Leah nodded, "I imprinted on you while we were …", she stumbled on the words. "…making love." A frisson passed between Leah and Jacob as the joint memory of their one night together resonated between them.

"…It scared the hell out of me. It was so unexpected, I was unprepared, I kind of assumed that I'd be alone forever, that no one would ever want me and I thought that I was OK with that, until…"

"Until I jumped you."Jacob said sadly. Suddenly mad at himself. He had suspected how fragile her state of mind had been."I handled that badly, it wasn't planned. When it comes to you I just can't control myself .I'm sor-"

"Please don't ever apologise for that." Leah held her finger up to his lips to silence him. "It was perfect. You were perfect."

"But you still left."

Leah nodded, "My father died because of me. Sam stopped loving me. The guys in the Wolfpack tolerated me. I figured it'd only be a matter of time before you saw what they had all seen in me. So I left you before you had a chance to leave me."

"I would never leave you." Jacob said with such steely determination that Leah's heart lurched inside her chest.

"Not by choice, Jacob. I wanted you to have a choice."

"Loving someone is never a choice that anyone is given,Lee."

Leah paused as she listened to Jacob echo the same sentiments that her mother had a few hours earlier.

"Thank you Leah."

Leah looked at Jacob,confused "For what?"

"For finally letting me in. I just needed to know that what I felt wasn't imagined. All in my head. That it wasn't one sided, that you and I made love that night. That I had you, all of you for just a little while…now I can set you free." Jacob winced as if in pain and stood up.

"What do you mean you're 'setting me free' ?" Leah demanded, she could feel herself begin to panic. This wasn't what she wanted.

"Leah Clearwater, I have loved you with everything I am for almost three years and for that entire time it was all about me; how much I loved you, how much I needed you, how much I wanted you by my side. Never once did I stop to think about what you needed, and what you needed was your freedom. You needed to leave. I can see that now."

"What if I don't want to be set free?"Leah asked pointedly.

Jacob shook his head "You don't have to do this Lee. I get it. I won't bother you anymore,I want you to be happy. I'll call off my Lawyer, we'll be adults, we'll work something out for Harri…Like you said, there are Christmases and summer vacations. We'll all be fine."

Leah shook her head despondently; this was not how it was supposed to go. She watched as Jacob turned his back to her and pretended to busy himself at his work bench .She knew he wouldn't dare look her in the eye again ,not when he had lied to her face. They wouldn't be fine ,couldn't be fine with all this love going to waste.

"Ask me to stay Jake." The words came out in a whisper, but when Jacob still didn't turn around Leah decided to speak a little louder."I love you Jake, ask me to stay !"

Jacob said nothing. He couldn't bring himself to pull her down, not when California seemed so good for her, he loved her too much to take away her happiness ,even if it was at his expense.

"Ask me to stay, Jake" Leah implored over and over again as the sound of tears infiltrated her voice.

Hearing her so upset broke Jacob's resolve; he went to her and engulfed her in his arms. He couldn't be without her, she was his heart, the mother of his child, his soul mate. He gently tried to wipe away her tears with his hands but they wouldn't suffice so he used his lips, starting on her cheekbones, down to her lips, then her throat and lastly the base of her neck where his own lips found their home. "Stay with me, Baby . I love you." He said against her neck in between kisses.

It was the sound of Leah's groan that sent him over the edge; before she had the chance to answer he covered her mouth with his, hungry for all her kisses. Their tongues met and mated as their hands roamed freely.

Jacob had ignited something animalistic and feral in her. She wanted him. She wanted to feel their connection . They had a lot of time to make up for. The shed wasn't the most romantic of locations but it would do.

Before Leah knew it, Jacob had cupped her ass and in one svelte move had her flat on her back, as he lay on top of her, ravaging her mouth.

Suddenly he stopped.

Leah cupped his face "What is it?Why'd you stop?"

"I can't do this Lee."Jacob sat up.

Leah tried to catch her breath. He wanted her, she could tell and not just because she had felt him harden when he was on top of her; but because their passion galvanized them both, there were no need for words, a wonderful perk of imprinting. "But I want you."

Jacob smiled wholeheartedly, "I want you too. It's just that the next time I make love to you, I want you to be Mrs Jacob Black."

Leah grimaced and turned an unsightly shade of green as she sat up, and turned away from Jacob

"What is it,baby?" Jacob asked, rubbing her back.

Leah ran her hands through her hair and turned to face Jacob as she gave him a gentle kiss on the lips "You know that I love you."

Jacob nodded; his eyes were tender and warm.

"I need you to not get mad."

Jacob studied Leah's face. Where there had just been butterflies now lay impending doom. "Why would I get mad?"

"I can't marry you. At least not yet."

"Why?"

Leah took a deep breath before answering, "Because I'm technically already married."

TBC.