Chapter 11. Perfect Darkness

Pairing: Leah/Jacob

Soundtrack choice: Perfect Darkness by Fink

Note : forgive me for any lingering errors. Enjoy. P.S. HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR.

The walk back to Leah's car was a pleasant one. Although they didn't talk or hold hands they maintained a physical closeness that they were both temporarily satisfied with. Once they got to the car Leah turned to face Jacob, he stood in front of her, a small smile on his face, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Leah smiled back. A cool night time breeze rushed past them dispersing strands of Leah's hair as it went. Gently, Jacob lifted his hand and used his fingers to gently tuck the strands behind her ear. His fingers lingered on her face, Leah used the opportunity to twist her head and softly kiss his hand. In a matter of second Jacob's warm chocolate stare turned molten black. He took a step back.

"I really want to kiss you." He said behind gritted teeth, the frustration growing in the space that separated them.

"Then kiss me!" Leah implored. She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around Jacobs waist. "Despite what that marriage certificate says I belong to you. Kiss me Jacob….kiss me."

Jacob couldn't resist her, he loved her.

Just as their lips touched, Jacob's front door flew open and out rushed Sue Clearwater looking flushed and on the verge of tears. Leah and Jake sprung apart.

"Sue!" Billy yelled after Sue as she fled towards the car without acknowledging him and his call for her to stop. Instead she marched around the car and stopped in front of a very shocked Leah and Jacob, held out her hand and demanded the car keys. "Keys. Now!"

Leah and Jacob exchanged a look.

"Keys!" Sue demanded.

"Sue, Let's talk about this. Please!" Billy called.

Leah looked from her mother to Billy. What could have possibly happened?

"Keys!"Sue demanded again.

Leah began rummaging in her pockets. "What's wrong, mom?"

Sue didn't answer instead she grabbed the keys when Leah finally located them, then got into the drivers' seat of the car.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Leah asked again this time she was worried. She had never seen her mother like this, shaken to the core and on the verge of crying.

Jacob looked over at Billy Black who sat in the doorway of their home also looking on the verge of tears. "Dad?"

"Get in Leah." Sue started the engine, "…Get in or you can walk home."

Leah walked round to the passenger seat, got in and put her seatbelt on. The minute the belt clipped into place Sue put her foot down on the accelerator, she sped away leaving the Black residence a mere spec in the rear-view mirror.

"Mom, You're driving like a crazy person!" Leah cried.

It was as if Sue hadn't heard her. Her hands held tightly to the wheel and her eyes , although on the road seemed to be focussed somewhere else. She seemed to be accelerating and not slowing down.

"Mom!" Leah cried again "Slow down!"

A deer ran out into the road and stopped. Blinded by the impending headlights of Leah's car heading towards it.

"STOP!"

Sue still didn't seem to hear , instead she carried on like she was being chased by her own personal demons. Leah quickly grabbed at the steering wheel, and tried to divert the course of the car as it got closer to the deer. The car shook and swerved to the other side of the road, closely missing the dear who used the opportunity to sprint into the woods.

Sue jerked as if snapped out of her revelry and pumped down on the breaks , the car didn't come to an immediate stop instead it continued to swerve and screech .When the car did finally come to a halt Leah said a silent thank you to God that there were no other road users on the road this early in the morning. She placed her hand over her rapidly beating heart, and looked over at her mother who seemed to be in a mild state of shock , her hands shook and her whole body seemed to rattle.

Leah undid her seat belt then reached over and undid her mothers. She gathered her mother in her arms. "Won't you tell me what happened?"

Sue didn't answer the question instead she took a few deep breaths. "I think you should drive us home. I'm getting married in a few hours."

"Ok." Leah said, still worried.

The rest of the drive home was silent and calm. Leah tucked her mother up in bed, kissed her on the forehead and then checked on Harri who was peacefully asleep. It did occur to her to crawl into bed besides her baby girl but she knew sleep wouldn't find her , not with all the adrenalin racing around her body.

Leah silently trudged back down to the still dark kitchen. She didn't turn on the light. She sat down at the table and reached for her mother's abandoned whiskey glass and emptied the small remnant into her mouth. Leah wasn't a drinker by any means but tonight had been enough to push anyone towards alcoholism. Unsatisfied, she got up and sought the whiskey bottle from the cabinet and fished Seth's old cigarettes out of the trash and lit one.

She inhaled the cigarette and smoked it down to the blunt then gulped down the glass of whiskey she had poured herself. Enjoying the unfamiliar feeling of mild intoxication Leah got up poured another glass, lit another cigarette and headed for the front door which she gently closed behind her.

She sat down on the porch, rested the glass of whiskey beside herself and took a puff of the cigarette. She stared up at the night sky, marvelling at the perfect darkness that never existed in big cities. The stars were out. She suddenly wished Jacob was there with her, staring up at the sky with her, maybe with a blanket wrapped around them whilst she rested her head on his shoulder and he rubbed circles into her back. Leah shook her head and cleared the thought away, then took another puff of her cigarette. Wishes like that were going to have to wait until after her divorce…

"What do you mean 'married'?" Jacob asked. Leah could tell by the tone in his voice that he was trying his best to not jump to conclusion, remain neutral until she had explained herself.

"I mean married, like a registry office, a white dress and a marriage certificate…"

Jacob stared at Leah like he was trying hard to comprehend the words coming from her mouth. She could feel him growing cold like he was drifting far away again. Leah quickly grabbed Jacobs hand and placed it on her heart, "It's not what you think. I don't belong to anyone but you, just like you belong to me.."

"That would be true, except it's not."Jacob said curtly. "You married another man.."

"It's a marriage of convenience. I only married a friend so that he could stay in the country."

Jacob reluctantly warmed as Leah relayed the events of the last couple of years. How she had met Kassim Yerzhan, how he had helped her with Harri in the early days, how he was in danger of getting sent back to Kazakhstan and how she had wanted to return the favour of kindness to somebody so deserving.

"So there you have it, I married another man and I don't regret it."

Jacob stared at Leah for a long hard moment, "You wouldn't be my Leah if you did." He said finally, softly as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. Leah's heart galloped when he called her 'MY Leah'. She was his, had always been.

"So what do we do? What's the next step ? What about an annulment?" Jacob asked

Leah went quiet.A point she had omitted still gnawed on her conscience, tonight had to be the night that all their old ghosts were laid to rest if they were ever going to have a future."I need to be honest with you because I love you and I don't want there to ever be any secrets between us again."Leah said in one breath.

"What aren't you saying?"

Leah took a deep breath before biting the bullet. "We consummated the marriage, we had sex…"

Jacob got up abruptly with such force that Leah almost toppled over.

He moved away from her, his hands clenched, his chest heaving as he struggled for air. He was trying to keep his anger in check, trying to prevent himself from feeling rage, from yielding to the basic instinct of becoming a wolf.

Leah got up to go to him but he held out his hand "NO!" he yelled.

"Don't be angry,Jake…"

Jacob shook his head as he continued to pace"I'm not angry."

"It only happened once, a while ago. It was a moment of weakness, I missed you so much and I thought I would never see you again…you have to believe me."

Jacob stopped pacing and looked at Leah "I do believe you baby." He said with such honesty and tenderness that Leah threw caution to the wind and went to him. She wrapped her arms around him and smothered him with kisses,he didn't push her way but didn't return the fervour.

"I lied to you just now. I am angry."

Leah stopped kissing him.

"But I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at us."

Leah nodded.

"I've got a confession of my own to make…"

Leah could feel everything within her head south. She felt queasy waiting for the bomb to drop,she knew what he was going to say before he even said it.

"When you left I couldn't deal so.."

"You slept with Nora didn't you !?" Leah cut in quickly, hoping the effect would be that of peeling off a band-aid quickly but it wasn't.

"No. Not Nora. Never Nora, she's just a friend."

That was something at least.

Jake told Leah about Nora and how she had saved his life, given him hope and nothing but friendship.

"So…Who?"

Jacob paused. Shame ran across his face. "I can't remember all of their names."

It was Leah's turn to be enraptured by jealous rage. She stepped back."How. many. were. there?"

"There were more than a few.I was always blind drunk so I don't quite remember.."

Leah gasped for air and leant over like she was about to puke. She wretched and heaved but nothing came up,she slowly stood up.

"I had to be inebriated because alcohol made the pain go away, those girls made the pain go away because I could pretend for a while that they were you, that you loved me…"Jacob began to tear up which in turn made Leah cry.

She stopped being angry instead she just felt sad for them. This could have all been avoided . She went to him and wiped his tears, then cupped Jacob's face. "What's done is done. From this point on we forgive and we forget."

Jacob nodded and Leah smiled. "I love you Jacob Black."

"I love you Leah Clearwater."

That's all Leah needed to hear before she captured Jacob's lips against her won. What started as a soft ode to forgiveness became a roaring requiem to passion and renewed hope. Jacob drew her in towards him and steadied her by grasping her hips, Leah ran her hands through his hair as her tongue diligently found its way into his mouth. Jacob tried to fight the feeling but it all felt so immense.

"We can't do this." Jacob pulled away.

Leah groaned, frustrated. "Why not?"

"Because I was serious when I said that the next time I make love to you I want you to be Mrs Black." Jacob said, gently stroking Leah's face. "When we do make love again I want it to be unencumbered, I want to be the only one who has a claim to you."

Leah closed her eyes and rested her head on Jacob's shoulder, her arms wrapped around him before releasing him. " I want you and you want me …." Leah let her eyes travel southwards "…so until I get my divorce, no kissing or hand holding, hugging or touching or generally being in the same vicinity."

Jacob laughed. "Exactly."

Leah sighed. "Fine. Walk me to my car."

Leah opened her eyes and jumped slightly. Jake appeared to be standing right in front of her. She hadn't heard his motorbike roll up or his steps as he'd approached her. Behind him the sky had given way to a soft purple with hints of red and blue. It was almost the beginning of a new day.

"You were miles away." Jake said , he smirked. the same smirk that made her want to tear his clothes off with her teeth. Leah smiled as he sat down besides her. "What were you thinking about?"

"You." Leah said holding his gaze.

"You smell like cigarettes." Jake said low and husky, staring at her lips. He looked hungry.

"I'm considering taking them up."

"No you're not."

"No I'm not."Leah agreed with a smile.

They laughed.

"I talked to my dad, he told me what happened."

"What'd he say?", Leah asked.

Jacob relayed the events of the night to Leah who studied Jacob's profile as he looked out towards the horizon as he spoke. Once he told her why their parents looked so shaken up she put her head in her hands. Shocked but not surprised. She couldn't help but feel responsible, she had challenged Billy at her mother's expense.

"It's not your fault."

Leah sighed "I think it is."

Jacob stood up and faced Leah, he extended a hand "Run with me"

Leah looked at his hand then up at him. She knew exactly what he was asking her, to phase and be a wolf .She hadn't been a wolf for years and the prospect of going back to who she had been, to what she had been scared her a little. "I can't, Jacob. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Leah looked up at him and remembered their newfound policy of complete honesty. "I'm scared."

Jacob crouched down in front of her "Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

Jacob smiled, stood up. He took off his leather jacket, and then took off his shirt. Leah couldn't peel her gaze away from him, and in the dim light of the early morning he was perfection. Aware that her gaze lay on him , he kicked off his boots, slowly unbuttoned his jeans and took them off, then slid down his underwear until he was completely naked in front of her.

This was only the second time Leah had really looked at Jacob Black naked and she blushed.

"Run with me Leah."

Leah stood up, a little shaky on her feet. She took off her coat, then her t-shirt. Slowly she unhooked her bra and dropped it to the ground. Her jeans and panties followed suit.

There they stood for a while , taking each other in. There was a lot to be said about being emotionally and literally naked in front of another person. They had done it all.

"You're so goddamn beautiful..." Jacob said in awe.

Leah was frozen under the weight of his regard, she had never felt so beautiful or so desired. She smiled. "…yep, that's me. Beautiful and really ,really …fast." Before Jacob had a chance to say anything else Leah ran past him phasing as she fled, laughing.

Jacob followed close behind, phasing quickly as he followed in hot pursuit. They ran through the bushes, around the trees, over the streams and through the everglades, all the while laughing and goading each other to move faster, harder.

"C'mon , move it Clearwater! You're getting slow in your old age."

"Look Black, I could teach you a few things."

"Ha! I wish you would.."

"Be careful what you wish for."

Leah took the opportunity to pounce on Jacob and send them both rolling down a hilly brook. As they rolled and fell they playfully nipped at each other until they came to an unceremonious halt with a thump on the ground. Phasing back into human form they lay side by side laughing, trying to catch their breath.

It was Leah who sat up first. She smiled down at Jacob who lay staring up at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Before he had a chance to object, Leah quickly stole a kiss. Jacob didn't say anything, so Leah took another liberty and kissed him again. This time for longer, while he still didn't say anything, he did kiss her back with equal passion.

"We have rules." Jacob smiled against her lips.

"We have rules." Leah agreed. "But what were they again? I forget."

"No kissing…"Jacob said as Leah kissed him again, full on the lips.

"No hand holding..." Jacob said again, as Leah straddled him and intertwined her hands with his as she delivered another kiss. "No hugging or touching…"

Leah bit down on his bottom lip "Baby, right now I don't care for those rules."

"Neither do I…"

They had tried to fight it. Maybe not hard enough but here they were, together and so in love . There in the same forest that they had played in as kids and patrolled in as wolves, Leah Clearwater and Jacob Black made long-awaited passionate love to each other as the winter sun came up to illuminate the morning sky.

TBC.