Author's Note: Well hello, dear readers! I plan to keep chapters spaced out like this to give you all something to look forward to! It also gives me a buffer for writer's block. Don't worry: this makes it feel like Aslan returning to Narnia (except not, and my stories probably aren't amazing as a magical talking lion that can eat your head off but won't because it likes you). And you'll probably still be alive the next time it happens. And I can't really punish you if you abandon me because I didn't make my miracles convincing enough for you to keep faith in me…
ANYWAY… here's chapter two, and I do not own FMA or Doctor Who, only the characters I made up.
Read and Review to let me know you care! And sorry again for the boring world-building!
Toxic Toast: Chapter 2: A World All Their Own
Coming down out of his high, Envy began to take in his surroundings. The walls were a giant honeycomb supported by tree limbs. A central pillar radiated an undulating cyan core. The Doctor and the Paradox danced madcap around its base, making adjustments.
The Homunculus pushed himself into a sitting position, roped his arms around his knees and said, "I just realized I cheated death, evaded the Truth, and skipped fate with two complete strangers and I have no idea where we're headed. And all because I knew that the other option was going to be worse."
"Yeah, I know," the Doctor was giddy. "There's no greater way to do things, don't you think? And, generally, yes, most people recommend going with the better of two options."
"Yeah, but why interfere with my fate? Why me? I'm not what you'd call a star citizen. I mean, if you know anything about me, you got to be nuts."
"Fate? No, you remaining with the Truth had only been a possibility, certainly not a fixed event."
At the same time, the Paradox looked at the Sin, came over and plopped down on the floor. "I guess yeh can't be kept in the dark forever. The short and sweet version is that Homunculi make better transitions into Time Lords than any other sentient being. The Doctor here, he's the last of them, of the true Time Lords at least." Envy tried to relax in the Paradox's presence. All his cockiness, and horniness, radiated off him like sweat off a hog. His muscle shirt, the... Envy hoped he was imagining things. The man didn't have to sit facing him directly like that. He was too much like Greed.
"Normally, I'm against it," the Doctor said from the console. "But we're needed. I can't guard the universe against every paradox alone."
"What?" the Homunculus was confused. "And what's a Time Lord? What's with you people?"
"We're from the planet Gallifrae, then there was the Time War waged against the Dalek, and everybody lost. Everybody." The Doctor looked eons older; a great, weary, wondering soul. Then he changed back. "Anyway, a paradox is an inconsistency in reality, which weakens its underlying structure. The Time Lords are an ancient race who developed the means to correct paradoxes before the Reapers did."
Envy then turned to the man beside him. "So if paradoxes are bad, then you would be…a…."
"Homunculus Time Lord, yes." Envy stared for a few seconds, 'weirdo', he thought. The Paradox continued. "For the Time Lords, paradoxes are a sin. Much more," he smiled, "than jealousy. It's hard for them to get envious. They just don't think that way.
"And that's one reason I choose you. You're a Time Lord Homunculus now, who's not a Time Lord sin. Funny, huh?"
"Yeah. Real," Envy said deadpan. His eye twitched.
"The second reason is that you got spunk. Potential. You're a little off your rocker now, but with a little apprenticeship, you could be one hell-of-a Time Lord."
His smirk grew wider. "And you'll be redeeming yourself and your family while you're at it."
"I WHAT! Oh fuck! You you tricked me!" His expression was priceless, but it was the only appropriate response there was. Luckily, Envy's cynicism meter was measured in logarithmic scale- he could have an idea of what the reading was. "So, what- am I supposed to be called "the Envy" now?" he said after a short pause.
"No," the Doctor said. "For now, you're just "Envy." A title-name is something a Homunculus Time Lord has to earn. Then you get to choose who you are."
Envy sighed, disappointed. "Fine, whatever- I guess it can't be helped. I think "the Envy" just doesn't have the same ring anyway."
"Oh, your new biochemistry seems to be working great, then. Nice to feel you can do something about your fate, eh? Well, here we are, New Gallifrae."
The TARDIS opened into a pastoral scene, with a massive, sculptural and important looking building some ways off. The day was just past noon, but the sky was a blue-violet and the sun- larger than the Earth's- was orange. Envy noticed between first and second glance that the plant life did not quite bear a resemblance to what grew on his home world.
The Doctor started to say something. Envy turned to face him, but then became aware of the obvious. The blue box appeared far too small to hold what was inside of it. He approached he box, and traced the perimeter of the box with his hand. Four right angles set five feet apart from each other. It all seemed familiar somehow, and if he only had a quieter day, Envy could have identified what it reminded him of.
"I need a lot more things to be explained," the Homunculus said.
"Maybe all you need is a stiff drink," a voice from behind the TARDIS. "And you're right in the middle of the road." It came from a youthful woman who could not be mistaken for Lust. Envy could tell she was a Homunculus. She was lanky, with shoulder length frizzled hair, placid expression, and an overall relaxed look about her; a tank-top, semi-tight jeans and sneakers so worn out that the silver tape that bound them together more or less took over the job of being the shoes themselves.
"Why don't you just go around?"
"Path of least resistance."
"Lazy. How long've you been there?"
She was interrupted the sound of wind in mechanical trees. The TRADIS disappeared then reappeared a few feet off the road. "Sorry, there you go," the Doctor said as he came out of the box.
"Since you arrived," she answered.
"What? Liar. I'd've seen you."
She smirked. "That's my power. If someone's not looking for me specifically, they don't register that I'm there, unless I want them to."
"Who areyou, then?"
"Idle."
"Huh. M'name's Envy." After a short pause he asked, "Is everyone here a Homunculus? How's it even possible to transmute an entire planet?"
"New Gallifrae was found, it was an uninhabited planet," the Paradox said. "All the right things for life to be here were present; all that was needed was a catalyst."
"Huh," Envy said.
"Then just a few million species of life forms were imported from different planets," continued the Doctor, "and let the rest took care of itself. No alchemy needed." Envy arched his eyebrows, impressed.
"That's what I love about the universe," Idle said. "It just sorts itself out and you just have to go with it. Anyway, this is where I was going." It was a garden not twenty paces away from where she stood. She plucked a faded sunhat with a floppy oversized rim from atop the gate (which had been left open) and tugged it on her head. "See ya later." 'Lazy,' Envy thought.
As the three continued on down the path towards the huge building in the distance, Envy had to ask, "Really, all of this? No alchemy at all?"
"Alchemy never really got a foothold among the Time Lords; we took a different path," said the Doctor. "A few played around with it, sure, but it all sort of fizzled out."
" 'Played around with it?' If I'm following you, they transmuted Homunculi. That's not playing- that's serious research. You've got to be desperate or mad to do that." Envy gave a skeptical look. "Besides, the making of normal people usually starts out by "playing." To make a Homunculus, you've got to pay. I do know about these things."
"Well, yes, this is true," the Doctor said. Envy began to wonder just where the man drew the line between good and evil.