Pretty Poison

(Chapter Eight: Bribery)

Olivia opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling in the dark for a moment. She waited quietly for a few seconds the sat slowly up and walked across her bedroom to the bassinet where Noah laid. She looked down as the baby boy kicked and squirmed around a little but didn't cry. She reached down and changed his wet diaper and wrapped him back in his blanket then picked him up in her arms. She held him against her chest and patted his little back with her hand as she walked down the hallway with him toward the nursery.

She sat down in the rocking chair and unbuttoned the top of her gown and rocked the baby as she nursed him. Every four hours like clock work. And the last few times she had woke up in anticipation of getting up with him. Anymore he didn't really even cry as long as she got him within the first five or ten minutes after he woke up.

Noah stared up at his mother as he curled his little fingers around hers and Olivia brushed her fingertips over his hair. She loved this time. The early morning feedings just before dawn. When everyone else was asleep and the whole world was theirs, here in this tiny room. And nothing mattered in the world, but mommy and daddy and Noah. Like everything outside the door of their apartment belonged to some other universe and was completely unrelated to them.

"Hey," she heard quietly from behind her.

"Hey," she whispered back as Elliot leaned in to kiss her.

"I didn't hear you guys get up."

"He didn't cry."

"Oh, how's he doing?"

"Good. He was hungry."

"He is so beautiful, Liv. One of the six best things I have ever done with my life." Elliot knelt beside the rocking chair and kissed his son on the top of his head.

Olivia smiled. She loved watching Elliot with their son. He was such a good father.

"Did you call the kids?"

"Yeah, I called them yesterday."

"Yesterday? Elliot he is four days old today. We have been home for two days."

"I know, but I figured I would give you a little time to get settled and give the three of us a little bonding time before we brought in the big kids."

"What did they say?"

"They are all excited. They wanted to come by today after school to see the baby. I told them I would talk to you about it and maybe pick them up from school."

"Why would you need to talk to me? Elliot, I don't mind."

"Well, you have had a rough couple of days. I wanted to make sure you were up to it before I brought home a bunch of screaming kids to see the baby."

"El, he's your baby, too. And he is their brother, I am just glad that they are excited to meet him. I appreciate the concern, but I am fine. I want the kids to be able to be around him whenever they want. You don't have to ask me. Besides I love your kids, they are amazing children."

"Yeah, well I have four teenagers and Eli is in his terrible two's. And now this little guy. Besides, somewhere inside I am still clinging to the hope that someday they will all be our children."

Olivia shifted her eyes to look into his. "Slow down cowboy. Elliot, I am crazy about you and we are great where we are now. But I just want to stay here for a while. Focus on raising Noah. He is the most important thing in this world to me. I just don't want to rush this or get in over our heads. We have never even talked about marriage."

"We are right now. Liv…" Elliot cupped his hand under his sons head and looked into her eyes. "I love you and I love Noah and I want us to be a family."

"Elliot, we already are."

"Yeah. Look, I just….I am serious about you, about us, the three of us."

Olivia took a deep breath. "I love you, too Elliot. And maybe someday I will be ready for something more serious, but I just can't right now. I mean, don't get the wrong idea. I want to be with you. And only you. I don't date more than one guy at a time. I am serious about us as a couple and us, the three of us as a family. But I don't want to get married until I am ready to get married. I don't think that we should jump into anything because we have a baby now. I don't have to tell you how hard it can be to make a marriage work sometimes. You have been there."

"Yes, I have Olivia. And I know when something is worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for."

Olivia sat and looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I love you, Elliot. I just don't see what the rush is. I mean a piece of paper and a couple of rings are not going to change anything."

Elliot was quiet for a moment then he looked into her eyes. "They would change your name."

Olivia took a deep breath. "El, I am not saying that I am not interested. I am. I just know that I am not ready. I mean, we have not even been together for a year."

"Olivia, we have been together for almost eleven years."

"I mean as a couple. I'm just afraid. I want to get married. But I only ever want to do it one time. That is it. I just need a little time to adjust to the idea, I am still trying to adjust to being a mother."

"You are doing an amazing job."

"Thank you. El, please understand."

"I understand that I love you and if you are not ready to get married, then I can wait until you are."

Olivia smiled as Elliot wiped a tear from her cheek.

"That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"I love you Olivia."

"I love you Elliot."

He leaned in and kissed her tenderly.

Olivia carried a sleeping Noah back to his bassinet and placed him inside.

Elliot put his arm around her and as they looked down at their son.

"I want more kids, Elliot."

"What?"

"Well, not now. Not for a while. At least until he's a little older. But I want them."

She turned to look at Elliot.

"Hey, I would love to have more beautiful babies with you. Look how great this one turned out. I just don't think we should have anymore until we get married."

"That's blackmail."

"No, baby. It's bribery."

Olivia laughed.

"Okay, it's a deal."