Author's note: Salutations and may you not get sick over the winter! And do a better job of getting along with your family than our little antihero has done. As you can probably tell, I'm not exactly a Greed fan, but I forgive anyone who is. Like any normal non-violent person, I like to have a little blood and gore in my stories! This is the last world-building chapter. Sorry, I guess I'm too lazy to try and work it all into the plotline more stealthily. But if you watch the Doctor and can follow FMA, you should be able to handle it!

I do not own FMA or Doctor Who, but please read and review!

Chapter 3 The Definition of Insanity

As they walked on, the Doctor filled the new Time Lord in on a few things. He covered the Time War and Dalek (to which the Paradox said, "a Dalek philosopher's stone makes you want to puke your guts out,"), what a TARDIS is exactly ("all attempts to absorb one of them has ended tragically,"), and the Reapers ("don't even think about it").

"You should know," the Paradox said when they reach their final destination inside of the building, the Paradox's central office, "that the Doctor wasn't even in on the plan when we first thought of restoring the Time Lords." He sat back in his swivel chair and thumped his feet on the desk. "It was all between the Leaver and me."

The place was too drab and professional for a smart-ass like the Paradox. 'He's got to have something around, this is too clean,' Envy glanced around for a hint of anything off.

"If in case you're wondering how I found out about it, well, this is something you're going to find out about," the Doctor said. "I've seen more than enough to know that it could, and is almost guaranteed to go horribly wrong." The Doctor's face was stern; it caused Envy to take a step back. The man was dangerous. Even though he was the last of his kind, even though Time Lord Homunculi was a way to preserve his people, the Doctor was not blind.

Envy averted his gaze; this was perhaps a first for him. He knew then, that the Doctor could make Hell freeze over with you on an iceberg in a pool of molten lava.

The Paradox cleared his throat. "The Leaver's like you, Envy; she wasn't created as a Time Lord Homunculus. She's from the planet Adrapaxus, and she's the last intelligent thing alive from there.

Originally she's a Kobepas Homunculus, and the Kobepas were dying out. In an attempt to save themselves, they started creating Homunculi. Thousands. It backfired.

Envy snorted. 'Well, duh,' he thought.

"The Kobepas figured they could invent their way outta th problem. So what'd they do? They created the Rackileesh, a monster that's supposed to eat Homunculi."

"That's even less of a good idea," Envy said. "Dumbasses got what they deserve."

"Oh, just you wait till you get where he's going on this," said the Doctor. "It's so mad it's brilliant."

The Paradox nodded. "At that level of the alchemic food chain, things get unstable. The Rackileesh diet generalized to anything with residual alchemic energy, and they need about three times as much in biochemical energy to remain stable."

Envy simultaneously whistled low and shuddered. The Paradox began to speak and Envy startled. The Paradox's voice came from behind the new Time Lord, as the one behind the desk simply sat and smiled. Spinning to locate the voice, Envy found an exact copy of the Paradox.

"Twins?"

"No," they said. "He's me."

"One Homunculus, two bodies," said one.

"I literally exist in two places at once," said the other.

"I am the Paradox," they finished.

"I can also do things like this," said the one behind Envy. He clapped his arm around the Sin's shoulder.

Envy found himself looking at himself, and saw what the other self saw, which was himself looking back at himself. It was not like scaring yourself by nearly running into a mirror, because both bodies saw what the one saw as they saw their own perspective*.

"And this."

The Envy behind the desk now stood in the nexus of the building, in front of a spire made of some strange material; something that could not be called metal or crystal. All the while Envy saw both visions.

"But onto other things " the Paradox began.

"Now, as I was saying " he said.

And Envy heard both of what the Paradox was saying. His insides quavered. He wanted to shut it all out and return to the safety of the black void. Shut his eyes, close his ears, pull into himself. "Stop it! Stop it! Quit it! This isn't I'm not Stop it!"

Envy felt himself being pushed into the Doctor's hands, who guided him to a chair. The Homunculus went a little limp, leaning into the Time Lord. "A nice cup of tea should work wonders," the Doctor said. "It's how the British solve everything; all over a nice cup of tea."

"Nmm. I don't need your..." Envy gave up.

After the tea, some lunch and a walk to recover, they resumed.

"The Kobepas were becoming space-going during their decline. The Rackileesh adapted to the conditions of space and began to seek out alchemic hotspots," the Paradox said, as if the episode earlier never occurred.

"Alchemic methods varies from planet to planet, and even within them," the Doctor added. "And being unstable as they are, the Rackileesh adapted to each method as their range spread."

"You mean, like a virus," said Envy.

The Paradox shrugged and nodded. "The Leaver saw this coming and skipped the planet."

"Hence "the Leaver," right?"

"No, actually, she's called the Leaver because she left fate to its own doing," the Doctor said. "To the Kobepas, taking rejecting the position as the ultimate master of one's own fate is a sin. It can be called the Sin of the Unrisen or the Sin of Savagery."

"Why'd she leave if she's so damn complacent?"

The Paradox smiled. "That's where I come in, as the Paradox."

Envy understood. "You're the reason why a plan, identical to the one that failed on Adrapaxus is successful on New Gallifrae."

"Yes."

"And you're the reason the Leaver would "invent" her way out of a problem her planet created."

"Yes."

"And you're why she'd ever agree to it."

"Correct."

"And, because you're the Paradox, you would develop a race that corrects paradoxes."

"Yes."

"You are an inherent instability that creates stability."

"Precisely," the Paradox said.

"Things don't work like that," Envy said.

The other Sin only quirked and eyebrow and smiled. 'Jerk.' Envy thought.

* A simpler but less emotive explanation: existing in two places at once would cause you to see two different scenes at once. Now imagine both your selves facing each other. Too logical and objective for our Envy.