Hey! So here is my last chapter for tonight; I should be fast asleep! And I mean fast asleep! lol. Please enjoy and don't forget to review... if I'm going to bed at 3:44am then I deserve reviews. lol.

Chapter 17:

Pity, Jealousy, Loyalty, Fear, Grief

The week after Halloween, Lily tried several times to make conversation with James but every time she tried he seemed to be on his way somewhere else, usually accompanied by Emmeline Vance. He was always apologetic but it was clear he was avoiding her. James and Emmie were sat in the library one night, it was just shy of curfew and they knew the librarian would be along soon to send them back to their towers. "I still don't get it," Emmie was saying, "why don't you just tell her the truth?"

"I can't do that."

"I don't see why not," Emmeline replied.

"I can't tell her; she'd never believe me," James answered. "Seriously, Ems… she doesn't know how he feels about her…"

"Not the way you do," Emmie nodded.

"I don't know… she might know that he loves her or that he cares a lot but she can't appreciate what it is to love someone who is never going to love you back… that sucks… I pity him… just like I pity myself… I feel his pain and he feels mine… so he hates me because in my apparent arrogance I have the audacity to hope."

"Still?" Emmeline asked.

"Still; I'll never stop."

"What did he say to you that made you attack?"

"I reacted instantaneously… non-verbally… I just acted… then when he was on the floor, he said, he asked, if I was still trying to win Evans over. I told him I'd never stop trying."

"Was that all he said? You hexed him for that?"

"No. He told me I was an idiot because she'd never love me… I told him he was wrong; that it was him she'd never love. He lunged and I defended."

Emmeline nodded, "makes sense."

"Does it?" James frowned.

James and Emmie were the centre of the school's gossip. Everyone was trying to work out if they were together or not. They were seen together often but they never held hands or kissed or showed any form of emotion. They appeared to be just friends but the entire school were certain that they were more than that. Lily was devastated. She had given up trying to talk to James because Emmie always seemed to be with him every time she tried. She couldn't believe he'd moved on so fast. She was incensed with jealously but she refused to admit it, choosing instead to focus on her schoolwork.

One evening in late November, when most of the Gryffindors had gone to bed, Remus and Lily were sat in the common room reading. Remus stood up to go to bed but Lily called him back, "Remus, is he a good guy?"

"James?"

"Yeah…"

"Lily, I've told you time and time again… he's the best. I owe him so much. You've always underestimated him. He's the kindest friend you could ever have. I can't begin to tell you what he has done for me."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Let me put it this way; he convinced people to look beyond prejudice and love me regardless of some of my faults, he goes out of his way to be there for me in my worst moments, even at the risk of limbs… he's broken laws for me and he'd do far more than that if he felt he needed to…"

"I have a theory," Lily told him.

"Do you?" Remus frowned.

"I know about your 'furry little problem', I have for years… and before you say anything I don't care. I saw a stag in the grounds a couple of months ago…"

"How unusual," Remus faked a smile.

"He's an animagus isn't he?" Lily asked.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"I heard you. James helped me back into the castle but as he closed the door I heard you… you howled."

"And I know it was James; I'd recognise those eyes anywhere."

Remus frowned, "what are you going to do?"

"Nothing," Lily answered honestly, "to be honest; I respect him for it. He's a very loyal friend."

"He is," Remus nodded solemnly.

Remus made his way up to bed leaving Lily alone in the common room. Upstairs in the boys' dormitory, James was in a fitful sleep. He was dreaming. He'd dreamt this dream before. He found himself in a nice little house. He wasn't alone. He had a small boy on his lap, who looked exactly like him, except his eyes… his eyes… Evans' eyes. At that moment, Lily Evans walked into the room. She sat beside him on the sofa and he wrapped an arm around her. Then something happened. He felt something; he was suddenly overwhelmed by dread. Something was wrong; very wrong. He knew what almost immediately; he was here. He went into the next room and looked out the window, "Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off—"

James woke with a shudder when he realised they were dead. Voldemort had killed them. It had happened time and time again in his mind. It had become something of a recurring dream and no matter how often he tried to manipulate the dream, it always had the same outcome.

James was quite shaken. He didn't want to go back to sleep so he grabbed a book about quidditch and headed down to the common room. He was surprised to find Lily still up. He wanted to turn around and leave but he couldn't do that. He sat down in his favourite chair; which was unfortunately close to Lily's. "Couldn't sleep?" Lily asked.

"Bad dream," James answered, "you?"

"Haven't really tried," Lily answered. "What was your dream about?"

"You…" Lily was horrified.

"You have nightmares about me?"

"Only one; but often… yes."

"What happens?" She asked.

"I don't think you want to know," James replied.

"I do," Lily smiled sadly.

"You die… we die…" James frowned, "But it's only a dream…"

"Yeah; only a dream," Lily frowned, "do you believe in prophecies James?"

"You know I do; remember that one in our third year about the prime minister?"

"Oh yeah… I forgot about that," Lily frowned again.

"Why do you ask?" James asked, his eyebrow raised.

"Just thinking," Lily stood up, "I'm sorry for overreacting about the whole Snape thing. I didn't mean what I said."

"I know Evans; you don't need to apologise to me," James nodded.

"Yes I do," Lily told him firmly, "Not only did I not mean the things I said but also they were just plain wrong. I was wrong." With that she walked towards the stairs. "And James…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm happy for you and Emmie," Lily tried to smile as she made her way up the stairs to bed.

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