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"There ain't no way you can hold onto something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it."
― Kate DiCamillo, Because of Winn-Dixie
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Toriel watched in amusement as Frisk patted down their stomach in satisfaction. "Ahhh~. That was delicious!" Frisk sighed in fulfillment.
Toriel giggled at Frisk. Sometimes the child was very amusing with how expressive they were.
Frisk smiled at her before a shy expression suddenly crossed their face. "Mom? I still have some questions for you. Would you mind answering them?" They seemed hesitant.
Toriel sent a warm smile at them. "Of course, my child. I would be happy to answer any questions you have. I, too, have some questions I wish to ask of you." She replied.
"Uh, ok. I wanted to ask you, um, what does HP stand for? And, uh, why is there a grave at the flower bed I fell on?" Frisk asked, their head tilted to the side.
Toriel felt her smile become strained at the second question, but she focused on the first question. She didn't want the child to be concerned again. She was the adult and she should be able to handle such an uncomfortable topic.
"Hmmm. HP? Well, you see, monsters are made of Love, Hope, and Compassion. The Holy Trinity, so to speak. They have LOVE, which is 'Level Of ViolencE'. It is also known as LV.
Then they have 'HoPe', which is also known as 'Health Points'. It is shortened to HP. For monsters, 'HoPe' and 'Health Points' are the same thing so if anything happens to their 'HoPe' then it will affect their 'Health Points'. This is why monsters need 'HoPe', without it, monsters will dust then and there on the spot.
Then there is 'CoMPassion'. It stands for 'Magic Power'. It is also known more commonly to monsters as Soul Expression and it is shortened to MP. MP depends on your emotions and will power. If anything happens to either of them then it will affect your MP. Because of that potential weakness, MP is never shown to anyone else except their owners. It is a private thing, so [CHECK] won't work on it. It is also only shown to people who have magic." Toriel gestured to herself as she spoke the last part.
"Monsters are made of Love, Hope, and Compassion? So, basically, they are made of 'Level Of ViolencE', 'Health Points', 'Magic Power', right?" Frisk seemed a little confused.
Toriel blinked a little. "I suppose so, yes. I never heard someone put it that way before."
Frisk let out a little 'huh'.
"And for your second question." Toriel sighed, "The grave at the flower bed . . . it is the grave of one of the fallen children. They . . . they loved buttercups. I-I . . . monsters, when they die, they turn to dust. So, in the ancient monster tradition, I burned the child's body and spread their ashes on the flower bed. The first place I found them at. Its poetic, isn't it? That they ended where they began?"
Toriel felt tears threatening to fall down her face. She took a deep breath and forced them back.
"I-I sorry! I shouldn't have asked." Frisk seemed torn about asking the question.
Toriel softened and smiled. "It's okay child. No harm done. Now it is time for my questions."
Frisk nodded and smiled at her.
"I hope that I am not offensive but I must ask, why are your eyes closed, my child? And why did you come to this mountain?" Mom asked. I hummed a bit, thinking. It was weird that she asked about my eyes. And why they were closed? They weren't closed but they probably seemed like it.
"My eyes aren't closed. They may seem closed but they aren't. My eyes are actually squinting really hard right now. It's really dark in the Underground. I'm squinting my eyes because I'm trying to adjust to the light difference in here but . . . do you want to see my eyes?" I asked.
Mom nodded her head. "Yes, I would very much like to see your eyes, my child." I smiled at Mom and slowly opened my eyes to their natural width. Mom gasped in surprise.
I didn't let that bother me though. I know my eyes were unique. At first glance, people would say they were blue, but if you looked closer you could see the green, gray, and brown intermingled with the blue. There would be flecks of hazel and red that would appear, but it was the specks of gold that made my eyes glow.
Grandpa once told me that looking into my eyes was like looking into the night sky. The eyes I had were rare, I think that the only reason I had them was because I was reincarnated. But I don't know for sure.
It didn't matter anyways. I didn't like them that much. It reminded me of how out of place that I was here. I would've rather inherited my grandfather's eyes. They were a beautiful shade of ruby red. Everyone from my grandfather's side of the family had red eyes. I was the only one in generations that didn't inherit the family's red eyes.
"Those eyes . . . are very beautiful!" Mom was in awe. I smiled at her and slowly relaxed my eyes to their previous position.
"Thank you." I blushed. She giggled at the bashful way I looked.
"Now, about why I'm in Mt. Ebott. I suppose I should start from the beginning. My grandfather grew up in the village at the base of Mt. Ebott. However, he was a free spirit. He wanted to travel. So he did. When my parents died, he took on the responsibility of taking care of me. But he was still a free spirit. So instead, he took me with him on his adventures around the world.
One day, he decided to visit his hometown with me as a bonding experience. But Grandpa became very sick. In the end, we stayed in the village so he could recover.
I-I . . . I wanted to explore the mountain because Grandpa told me about story about my ancestor and the monster. I thought that maybe I could find something to bring back to him, you know? To make him feel better. Grandpa . . . he keeps getting weaker and weaker every day. I-I just wanted to help him. Make him feel better."
I was starting to tear up, the emotions that I've been bottling up from seeing my grandfather getting worse each day was starting to come out.
Mom got up from her chair and walked up to me. She hugged me with a warmth that reminded me of Grandpa. I clenched her fur and buried my face into her bosom.
"I-I . . . need to go back! I-I need to see him! Grandpa!" I began to cry silently, my chest aching from the pain I felt.
After a few moments of sobbing, I calmed down as quickly as I teared. Mentally, I cursed the Gamer's Mind for forcefully muting my emotions. If I had to go through emotional changes as fast as finger snap I would surly develop bipolar disorder.
I heard Mom quietly mutter to herself. "Mom?" I yawned a little, the emotional strain made me want to nap.
"It's okay, my child. Why don't you go upstairs and have a nap? I need to do something." Mom had a strained smile painted on her face. She looked as if she was in pain.
I nod my head and watched as she left the dining room. Before I went upstairs, the Narrator popped in with a demand.
Follow Mom.
I blinked at hearing the Narrator order me around but, before I could question them, my body did as the Narrator said and followed Mom. We left the dining room and went into a dark hallway that had torches on the side.
Walking ahead of me was Mom. She seemed to be headed in the direction of a large doorway. On the doorway was a strange symbol. The symbol had three triangles below a sphere that had wings.
The only exit to the Ruins. A window into the Underground. The place to begin your journey home. Unless . . . it gets destroyed.
As the Narrator spoke, I blinked in surprise. What was Mom doing here? In her hands she summoned a large fireball. Before she could do anything I spoke up.
"Mom?"
The fireball that she summoned in her hand disappeared as soon as she heard Frisk's voice. Toriel turned around, "My child! What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to go to bed?"
Frisk nodded hesitantly. "Mom, what are you doing? A . . . Are you going to destroy the door? The doorway to the Underground?" Toriel tensed in surprise. But then forced herself to relax. She felt a sad chuckle leave her mouth. Frisk was such an intelligent child.
"Mom?" Frisk called out again.
Toriel sighed. "My child . . . this is for your own good. All those who left died. I-I can't let that happen to you! So, please, go back to bed and tomorrow we can be a happy family." She hoped that Frisk would do as she said and go to bed. Toriel didn't think she could handle losing another little one. However, she felt her hopes become crushed when Frisk shook their head and walked closer to the doorway.
Frisk looked at her with pleading eyes. "I-I'm sorry, Mom. But I can't. Grandpa . . . he needs me! I need to leave. I-I have to go!"
Toriel felt as if the world was falling out from under her. The words that she desperately never wanted to hear were spoken once again. But that wasn't the worst. No, the worst was the familiar tone that she heard in Frisk's voice. It was the same determined tone that Chara once used whenever they were too stubborn for their own good. Toriel knew that nothing she says or do will change Frisk's mind as long as they had that same determination.
Toriel clenched her hands and faced Frisk. "If you wish to leave . . . then prove to me. Prove to me that you will survive! That you will live! Prove to me that your DETERMINATION is strong! And know that you can never come back. That I can never let you come back."
She hardened her heart once more. And, perhaps, for the last time. For if Frisk succeeds or not in their quest to the Surface, Toriel would make sure that they would be last child to fall into the Underground ever again. Toriel pulled Frisk's soul into an engagement.
The first turn went to Frisk and there was no hesitation in their manner when they pressed [MERCY: SPARE]. Toriel felt her heart twist slightly. Frisk was such a peaceful child just like Asriel.
Toriel took a deep breath and pressed [FIGHT: FIREBALL] on her turn. She watched as Frisk tried to dodge her special fireballs. However, a few hits later, they went down to [HP 15/20]. With every hit to Frisk's soul, Toriel felt her MP lowering further and further.
However, Frisk kept pressing the [MERCY: SPARE] button. So Toriel kept pressing [FIGHT: FIREBALL]. The engagement continued on the same vein until Frisk dropped down to [HP 2/20]. By that point, Toriel started to purposely avoid Frisk's soul. Even if she was fighting Frisk to make them prove to her that they can survive, she could never live with herself if they died because of them. Frisk still kept pressing [MERCY: SPARE].
Toriel decided that maybe she should try a different approach. Her MP now read as [MP 700/7,000]. Toriel pressed [ACT: TALK] hoping that her words could persuade Frisk to stay here.
"We can have a good life here. We can be happy. It's not much but we can make do. We . . . We can be a family." However, Frisk kept pressing [MERCY: SPARE]. Toriel felt a lump grow in her throat.
"But . . . but you wouldn't be happy, would you? You would keep wondering about your grandfather. Wondering if he's okay. You would never forgive yourself if you weren't there to help him. He's your only living relative. You . . . you couldn't bear seeing him die, can you? A-And that's why you would continue going on . . . because there is still something waiting for you, on the Surface." Toriel choked out.
Tears started to gather in her eyes. Frisk pressed [MERCY: SPARE] one more time. This time, however, Toriel accepted the [MERCY: SPARE].
Once that happened, Toriel fell to her knees and cried. Frisk quickly ran up to Toriel and hugged her. "I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" They repeated on and on, trying to comfort her in her despair.
All Toriel could do was hold them closer. She wanted to engrave Frisk in her very memory. She wanted to hold on to them and never let them go. But she knew that, in the end, she would let them go. Because Toriel knew that if you loved someone, you had to let them be free.
And she loved Frisk dearly. Very much so. Even if she only spent a day with them, it felt like she had known them for a life time. And the love she had for them, while brief, was as intense as the love she had for all the fallen children that came before them and Asriel.
After her tears dried, Toriel stood up. She looked down at Frisk and kissed them on their head. "Know that, my child, I will always love you. And that I will always be your mother." Toriel softly whispered.
Frisk looked at her sadness in their features. "I love you, Mom."
Toriel heart twisted in pain. She took a deep breath and stepped away from Frisk. She stood to the side and watched as Frisk took one last glance at her before opening the door to the Underground and leaving. Toriel softly whispered to the closed doors.
"Be good, won't you?"
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My expectations . . .
My loneliness . . .
My fear . . .
For you, my child . . .
I will put them aside.
-Toriel (Undertale)
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