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"Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
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Papyrus groaned in annoyance. Sans came looking for him some time ago and decided to brother him with puns.
"PLEASE, SANS. STOP SPOUTING OUT YOUR INSUFFERABLE PUNS! WE HAVE A JOB TO DO. THERE IS NO TIME FOR JOKES NOW!" Sans chuckled.
"Aw, c'mon bro. I know you're smiling. Just relax and chill." Sans punned.
Papyrus stomped his foot on the ground. He knew he was smiling, but it was only because his brother was being active by his own power! Usually he was a lazybones, more content to just lay around and do nothing. It made Papyrus worry for Sans. Most monsters know that having no energy to do regular day activities was the first sign of Falling Down.
Papyrus sighed. Soon his attention was captured by some movement at the edge of his vision. He turned around to see a strange looking creature approach him. It didn't look like any of the monsters he had ever seen before.
The creature was small, really small. In fact, it reached Sans in height. It wore a giant sweater that had purple-and-blue stripes on it. It's brown fur only covered the top of it's head, leaving it's face and ears exposed. It didn't have a muzzle or a beak like most monsters did, but it had something on it's face that resembled a nose.
"SANS! WHAT IS THAT ODD LOOKING MONSTER COMING TOWARDS US? DO YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE?" Papyrus turned to question Sans.
Sans faced the creature. "Nah. It's just a human, bro." Papyrus nodded.
"OH, I SEE. IT'S JUST A HUMAN . . . WAIT! IT'S A HUMAN!?" Papyrus's eyes popped out in shock. He quickly turned to face the human. They waved timidly at him.
"WOWIE! IT'S A HUMAN. UMMM. UHHH. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL CAPTURE YOU HUMAN! I WILL THEN TAKE YOU TO THE CAPITAL AND BECOME PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD! AND . . . AND, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! FIRST, I MUST PREPARE MY PUZZLES! FOR SURELY, A HUMAN OF YOUR CALIBRE MUST BE AN EXPERT PUZZLE SOLVER. NYEHEHEHEHE!" He quickly ran away from the human and his brother, knowing that they would surely follow after him. After all, he was the Great Papyrus.
He needed to quickly set up the first puzzle for the human. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to capture them. That would be horrible. If he couldn't capture the human then he can't become popular! And that would surely be a crime!
He soon came upon one of his more challenging puzzles. Right on the other side of the puzzle was Sans. "SANS! HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO QUICKLY?" Papyrus was confused. He could have sworn that his lazybones brother was behind him.
Papyrus jumped across the entire puzzle and landed right next to Sans.
"Eh, bro. I just took a shortcut." Sans slouched.
"But shouldn't you worry more about the human?"
The human? Papyrus turned around and there, behold, was the human waiting.
"HUMAN! THERE YOU ARE! BE PREPARED TO GET THE SHOCK OF YOUR LIFE. FOR YOU SEE, I HAVE PREPARED AN ELECTRIFIYING PUZZLE FOR YOU TO FACE. NYEHEHEHEHE!" Papyrus laughed.
"Hey, bro, was that a pun I just heard?" Sans excitedly perked up.
"NO, OF COURSE NOT! I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A VILE THING!" Papyrus crossed his arms, his face turned towards the sky so Sans couldn't read the expression on his face. The human cleared their throat.
"Um, where's the puzzle?" They rubbed the back of their neck in puzzlement.
"OH, UM, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE ELECTRIC MAZE! YOU MUST CROSS THROUGH THE MAZE WITHOUT GETTING SHOCKED. IF YOU DO GET SHOCKED, YOU WILL THEN BE CAPTURED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" Papyrus pointed at himself, imaging the wind blowing his scarf around just like a cape. The human just stared at the maze in confusion.
They took one small step towards the maze. Nothing happened. The human took another step forward. Nothing happened. Soon enough, they gained the confidence to just cross all the way to his side.
"WHA . . . WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING ELECTRIFIED?" Papyrus furrowed his forehead in surprise. The human just shrugged their shoulder.
"Maybe the power wasn't working?" They looked up at him as they offered the suggestion.
"HMM . . . NO MATTER. COME, HUMAN. THIS NEXT PUZZLE WILL CLEARLY LEAVE YOU BAFFLED! SANS MADE IT!" Papyrus quickly scooped up the human, causing them to squeak, and brought them to the next puzzle.
Sans followed behind them into the next clearing. There, on the ground, was a paper. Papyrus put the human down and examined the paper.
"SANS! WHERE IS THE PUZZLE?" Papyrus questioned.
"That paper is the puzzle, bro. Puzzling, isn't it?" Sans replied.
Papyrus yelled, "SANS!" while the human giggled at the pun.
The human then grabbed the paper and read it out loud. "Who's the coolest skeleton in town?"
Papyrus snorted. "THAT QUESTION IS EASY! IT'S THE GREAT PAPYRUS, OF COURSE!"
The human tilted their head. "That must mean that you're really frozen down to the bone, eh?"
Papyrus put his hands on his head in disbelief. "NO, SANS. HOW DARE YOU INFECT THE HUMAN WITH YOUR PUNS!" Sans shrugged.
"Eh, I'm just too punny." Sans had a wide smile on his face.
Papyrus groaned in frustration. While Papyrus was busy with Sans, he didn't notice as the human left his side to go on ahead.
I walked out of the clearing, leaving behind the skeleton brothers to sort out their issues. They were an interesting pair. Papyrus especially. He was very innocent and naïve. Not to mention, how entertaining it was to see his reactions to puns.
There is spaghetti on the table.
Spaghetti?! I was so hungry that I could eat a horse.
I quickly rush ahead to the table in front of me. And, there, as if it was a gift from the heavens, was a plate of spaghetti. I spotted a fork right next to the plate of spaghetti and picked it up. However, when the fork hit the spaghetti, a 'CLANK' noise occurred.
It seems as if the spaghetti is frozen solid.
I just stared at the spaghetti in silence.
Why?
Why?!
WHY?!
I was starving in this frozen wasteland! I had to deal with teen comedians, attention-grabbing children, doggies (I was actually quite happy with that), creepy skeletons, and Jerry! But I couldn't get a break to eat spaghetti!?
"HUMAN! WHERE ARE YO- OH! THERE YOU ARE! ER- WHY ARE YOU CRYING HUMAN?" Papyrus seemed concerned.
I put my hand on my face and was surprised to feel tears running down it. I really should have expected that, however. I was going to have a psychotic breakdown sometime soon. With all those fights, and my traumatic death, I really should have been prepared for this reaction.
"I-I . . . the spaghetti. I can't eat that spaghetti! It's frozen solid!" I cried out, my hunger and frustration pouring out in literal waves of tears.
"OH. OH, HUMAN, I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE A SPAGHETTI LOVER AS WELL! WOWIE! THIS . . . THIS CHANGES A LOT!" Papyrus muttered the last part loudly to himself.
I continued to cry over the travesty that the spaghetti was, not paying any attention to Papyrus. It was only when I felt someone picking me up that I decided to pay attention once more.
"W-What are you doing?!" I squeaked out.
"WELL, HUMAN, SINCE YOU WISH TO EAT MY SPAGHETTI VERY MUCH. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE YOU TO MY HOUSE TO EAT SOME!" Papyrus grinned confidently.
"R-really?" I was hesitant, this seemed too good to be true.
"OF COURSE! AFTER ALL, IT ISN'T EVERYDAY THAT I MEET A SPAGHETTI LOVER! BESIDES YOU MUST BE FULLY REPLENISHED IF I AM TO CAPTURE YOU!" Papyrus laid a hand over his chest, trying to convey his sincerity to me through the action.
"Thank you!" The mere thought of eating anything at all made me ignore the last part of his sentence.
Papyrus nodded his head. "YOU'RE WELCOME, HUMAN! NOW TO MY HOUSE!"
He then bent his legs and pushed off from the ground. Soon, the both of us were at impossible heights.
I screamed in surprise, flailing my hands around. In the air, we were able to see a tiny little snow town coming closer to us. A board next to the entrance of the little town read 'WELCOME TO SNOWDIN'.
Papyrus's Magic Jump has been initiated.
I still kept screaming as Papyrus defied the laws of physics and literally flew us both to his house. A simple little jump should not have been able to do this! The fact that this is happening is fucking terrifying. Magic is such bullshit!
We started to slow down. In the distance was a small house with two mailboxes next to it. Papyrus and I landed right outside the door of the house with a bang.
"HERE WE ARE HUMAN! HOME SWEET HOME!" Papyrus put me down on the floor. I just laid there, my mind entirely blank. I didn't want to move from the floor ever again. It was . . . too much.
"HUMAN?" Papyrus looked down at me in concern. I groaned in reply.
"HMM . . . THE TRIP HERE MUST HAVE TAKEN THE LAST OF YOUR STRENGTH. DON'T WORRY NOW, HUMAN. SPAGHETTI SHALL COME SOON!" Papyrus then picked me up and opened the door of his house.
I would have tried to have a look around, but I felt too drained from flying to even open my eyes. Soon, I felt myself being put down on a soft surface. I snuggled into the furniture and sighed in relief at the warmth of the house.
"STAY THERE HUMAN! I WILL COOK SPAGHETTI FOR YOU." I heard footsteps walk away from my position.
"Heh, kid. You okay?" A familiar voice asked.
I cracked my eyes open and saw the familiar visage of Sans. How the hell did he get here before Papyrus and I?
Ugh. It didn't matter. I closed my eyes and just groaned at him.
Sans chuckled. "Time sure flies by, huh?" Sans punned.
I groaned even harder.
Sans watched as the kid tried to fuse themselves to the sofa.
At first, it was surprising to see Papyrus scoop Frisk up and jump all the way home, but the parts of the conversation that he overheard soon gave context for that.
Who knew the kid was a pasta frantic? Not a lot of people liked spaghetti in Snowdin. It was hard for Papyrus to speak with anyone about his obsession. The fact that the human also seemed to love pasta proved to be their lucky break.
Papyrus always had a soft spot for those who liked spaghetti. And to see Frisk cry over his spaghetti must have really touched Papyrus's soul.
Sans watched the kid groan again. He snickered. It was always funny to see how others would react to Papyrus's Magic Jump. Unlike him, Papyrus always did enjoy the physical aspect of magic.
Then again, Sans had to concede, if he had more HP then it would have been possible for him to have enjoyed physical magic. Unfortunately, he didn't have more HP. So, for now, he's stuck with pure magic power.
"HUMAN! HERE, MY HOMEMADE SPAGHETTI! FRESHLY COOKED AND WARM." Papyrus came out of the kitchen, a steaming pile of spaghetti in his hands.
Sans watched as the previously prone form of the kid quickly straightened up with mania energy.
"Food!" Frisk made grabby motions towards the plate, hunger evident in their face.
Papyrus nodded and passed the plate of spaghetti to them. "YES, HUMAN! IT IS BEAUTIFUL. PLEASE ENJOY!"
Frisk quickly grabbed the fork that was in the spaghetti and pushed it into their mouth. Their previous blissful expression suddenly contorted into an expression of disgust. Their face started to changed colors, from red to green to purple.
Sans shuddered in empathy at seeing the kid change colors. It was always a shock to people when they ate his brother's pasta. Sure, it looked appetizing, but it tasted deadly. Not that he would ever say that to his bro. After all, Papyrus was the coolest brother in the world.
Frisk then slowly pulled the fork from their mouth and swallowed the bite of spaghetti down their throat.
"P-papyrus . . . ?" Frisk called out hesitantly.
"YES, HUMAN?" Papyrus leaned towards the kid, eagerly awaiting their verdict.
"W-what's in the pasta . . . ?" Frisk eyed the pasta, worried about the contents in the meal.
"OH! MY PASTA HAS SUGAR (TO MAKE IT SWEET), THE ENTIRE PASTA BOX (STORE BRAND IS SO CHEAP), TOMATOES (FROZEN SOLID; IT MAKES THE SAUCE TASTE FRESH), CHILI PEPPERS (TO GIVE IT A SAVOURY FLAVOR), LEMON (TO MAKE IT REFRESHING), AND COUGH MEDICINE (TO GIVE IT A KICK; IT'S GRAPE FLAVOR TOO!)." Papyrus explained, a proud expression in their face.
With each listed ingredient, Frisk's face started to pale dramatically. "Hahaha. That sounds so . . . appetizing. I, um, I'm afraid I can't eat the pasta anymore."
"WHAT! WHY?" Papyrus cried out in despair.
Sans glared at the kid. They better tread carefully now. Frisk started to sweat heavily.
"Why . . . it's just that, um, cough medicine is . . . monster cough medicine is very deadly for humans!" They blurted out.
Sans snorted, knowing that the kid was definitely lying through their teeth. However, it seemed that Papyrus believed them. Papyrus gasped.
"Yes, it's very deadly to humans! So I can't eat anymore. Because if I do, I might die. I'm really sorry I couldn't finish this meal. It was a real . . . killer." Frisk punned.
Sans chuckled at the little pun the kid snuck in while Papyrus replied, ignoring the pun.
"OH! I'M TERRIBLY SORRY HUMAN!" Frisk smiled weakly.
"No, it's okay. I mean you didn't know. I just can't eat anymore which is a shame. I bet it makes all the monster girls go crazy for you, huh?" The kid winked.
"NYEHEHEH! OF COURSE THEY DO. AFTER ALL, I'M THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" Papyrus laughed.
"Hahaha. Um, I need to leave right now. And find a place to sleep. It's real late outside. Maybe, tomorrow, we can resume this . . . capture?" Frisk rubbed the back of their neck.
Sans narrowed his eye sockets at the kid a little. What are you doing, kid? Papyrus nodded his head in understanding.
"YES, OF COURSE. I SHALL ESCORT YOU, HUMAN, TO THE NEAREST INN." Papyrus then led the kid to the doorway.
Papyrus opened the door and walked outside. Before Frisk went through the door, they turned around and waved bye to Sans.
Sans blinked, bemused at the kid waving at him, before he decided to wave back. Frisk smiled then went out the door and left. Soon, it was only him in the house.
Sans used this moment to summon a jar of ketchup. Once it was in his hand, he started to chug it down. Sans knew that once Papyrus came home to find the ketchup missing from the kitchen, he wouldn't be able to have a quiet night. Even though he'll regret drinking the ketchup in the morning, he really needed it now.
That kid . . . they really are something. Let's see how long they'll last.
Sans hopes that Frisk knows that if anything happens to his brother . . . well, they'll have a bad time. At least tomorrow will be somewhat interesting.
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"DON'T BE UPSETTI, HAVE SOME SPAGHETTI."
- Papyrus
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