A/N: I got inspired for this one-shot in my story Strangle Little Gilbert Kol will NOT die! I love him to much so I hope you enjoy this little one shot of if I did kill him in the story.

Waking up without you

It doesn't feel right

To sleep with only memories

It's harder every night

Sometimes I think I can feel you breathing on my neck

"Alone in this bed"- Framing Hanley

My body is racked with another set of sobs as I replay the same image in my mind of Jeremy stabbing Kol and hearing his screams. My mind has not been able to put the image on pause like a cruel joke it hasn't stopped playing. I lay in his bed clutching his sheets that still smell like him I scream not able to hold in my pain.

"WHY!" I scream in the empty room tears falling down face I do nothing to stop them. "I can't do this without you!" I scream again. It is not fair I love him so much and he was taken away from me by my own family. How am I suppose to look at them again they know what he means to me.

"NO!" I yell trying to make sense of what is going on I grab the lamp on his night table throwing it at the wall hearing it shatter but it still doesn't make me feel better.

"Jocelyn" I hear a voice say but I'm to lost in my grief to respond. I get up and look at my red tear stained face my make-up is smudged and my hair is a mess. I lift my hand touch my reflection before punching the mirror and watching the piece scatter around my feet. I fall to my knees feeling the pieces of mirror cut my skin and feel the blood running down my hand and knees.

"Kol!" I scream hoping he will run in the room and hold me in his arms like he was this morning. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me for a second I closed my eyes and imagined it was Kol. More violent sobs shook my body as I felt Rebekah running her hand through my hair rocking me back and forth. "I can't Bekah! It hurts so much I need him" I told her

"I know, I know shhh" she tells me trying to sooth me "Jocelyn you need to calm down" I try to breath but every breathe I take feels like my lungs are on fire.

"They killed him" I mange to say when my breathing clams down slightly "They know how much I love him and they killed him in front of me. I couldn't stop them I could only watch, it hurts so much Bekah make it stop hurting please" I said as silent tears slid down my face I stared at the broken pieces of mirror on floor drops of my blood mixed in. I was taking deep calming breaths while Bekah rubbed my back I felt myself becoming tired from sheer exhaustion. I felt Bekah lift me in her arms and lay me on the bed putting the blanket around me as I drifted to sleep.

I felt light kisses on my neck causing me to start to stir from my sleep I feel the tips of his fingers graze lightly down my exposed side. I giggle from the tingling sensation he causes whenever he touches me like this.

"Wake up love" he whispers in my ear giving it a kiss then down my jaw I turn my head to capture his lips with mine. The kiss started out light and sweet but soon became passionate as Kol moves us so he is between my legs pinning my hands above my head. His lips move from my lips to neck he makes little bites with his blunt teeth which he knows drives me crazy.

"Kol" I moan I feel him smirk against my skin

"Hmmm yes love?" he said giving a light peck on lips. I stare into his eyes running my fingers through his hair I know this a dream but I don't want to wake up.

"I love you" I said fighting back my tears I just want to enjoy feeling him in my arms while I can "I can't do this without you Kol" I said sniffling a little he gave me another sweet kiss on my lips.

"shh love everything will be okay. You can do this darling do you know why I fell in love with you out of all the women I have met over the centuries?" he asked me I shook my head still moving my fingers in his hair. "It is because you are beautiful, adventurous, and most all strong I know you will get through this love. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for" he said laying his forehead against mine.

"I don't want to wake up because I know you won't be there next to me" I said closing my eyes and enjoying having him here even if it was only in my head. "I already miss you so much I won't ever be able to forgive them for what they did" I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me.

"Let's not talk about that let's just enjoy what time we have left together" he said capturing my lips in a passionate kiss leaving me breathless. With one hand he pins my arms above my head while the other explores my exposed skin causing my body to wriggle underneath him. His lips travel down my neck and collar bone to my breast making me moan. He always knew just where to touch and kiss the things he was able to make me feel, I know no one else will ever be able to do what he could.

I gasp awake still feeling breathless from my dream my hand covering my chest it was hurting so much I missed Kol with everything I had. I look around the destroyed room sighing I run my hand over the empty side of the bed where he slept just last night. "You're really gone" I whispered "I love you. I will always love you" I said still whispering clutching the sheets so tight my knuckles were white. I let my tears silently fall as I stared at the empty space I am strong I know he want me to enjoy my life. I just don't know how I will be able to do that without him by my side.