Chapter 36:
Don't Fret Love
The following morning saw James make his way to the Headmaster's study. He hadn't slept the night before and much to Lily's concern, he hadn't eaten anything at breakfast. "Acid Pops," James told the gargoyle before making his way up the stairs. Professor Dumbledore was waiting for him, "ah James," Dumbledore's eyes shone with concern, "I have a portkey waiting," he looked at his watch, "you have ten minutes to prepare yourself."
The old man observed James, "if you have anything you would like to ask me, now is the time."
James caught the headmaster's eye, nodding his head slowly before responding, "dragon pox is really dangerous when you are as old as my mum, right?"
"Yes James," the headmaster nodded gently, "most people your mother's age do not survive dragon pox…" Professor Dumbledore looked over the top of his half moon spectacles at the young man before him, "but most people your mother's age are not as strong or determined as your mother. They have not faced the adversary that she has and they have not overcome her battles – if anyone can survive dragon pox it is your mother."
James nodded unsure what to say, "is there anything else you would like to ask?"
James sighed, "do you think I'm stupid for believing Peter? Sirius and Lily think that I'm wrong… but…"
"But you want to trust your friend?"
"Yes."
"It takes more to trust someone who doesn't seem worthy of your trust but it has potential to bring the most joy."
"And the potential to bring the most pain," James added bitterly.
"Perhaps but it's worth the risk I think. Think about Lily and you, you have become very good friends, wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah, the best."
"Do you think she found it easy to trust you?" Albus asked him.
"No – she had to give me a chance," James nodded.
"And I bet you are very grateful for the chance to prove yourself."
"Yes sir," James agreed, "so you think I should give him the same chance that Lily gave me?"
"Perhaps… but alas, we have run out of time. This portkey," he pointed to a little ornament that sat on his desk, "will take you to St Mungo's and it will return you here when you are ready to come back. Your mother is on the second floor."
"Thank you professor," James smiled at the older man behind the desk. He picked up the portkey and prepared himself for the sudden jolt that would announce his departure from Hogwarts. Moments later he found himself in the reception area of St Mungo's Hospital. The Welcome Witch sat behind a desk smiled at him kindly, "Mr Potter, are you hear to see your mother – she is on the second floor; Magical Bugs and Diseases."
"Thank you," James smiled politely. He made his way over the lift. He hated the hospital; he really wasn't keen on sick people.
When he exited the lift, he found a nurse, "excuse me; which ward would Mrs Potter be on?"
"Ah you must be James; you're all she talks about," the nurse told him. She led him on to ward 20 where she pointed to a private room. James knocked before he entered. Mr Potter was pacing the room as Mrs Potter slept somewhat restlessly, "ah James," Charlus sighed in relief, "she's been asking after you all morning."
"How is she?" James asked quietly, scared of waking her.
"Not good," Charlus sighed, "it's the worst case of Dragon Pox the healers have seen in years."
"She's looking very green," James commented of handedly, "is that normal?"
"Somewhat; often victims get a greenish tinge but the healers haven't seen anyone quite so green before."
James nodded, "I see. What are the healers doing?"
"They have been trying every possible cure they can come up with," Charlus told his son sadly, "but nothing so far seems to be working. She's so strong but she's losing weight quickly. She's not eating – they have to give her food replenishing potions."
"Is she… is…" James couldn't bring himself to ask the words.
"Is she going to die?" Charlus frowned, knowing what his son was asking, "perhaps… probably… if they can't find a cure… she's too weak, too old, to fight it on her own."
The both turned as they heard her wheeze, "Jamsie boy, is that you?"
"Yes mother, mum it's me," James went to her and took her hand.
"How's Miss Evans?" Dorea asked. "Have you managed to get her to agree to be your girlfriend yet?"
"Not yet mum," James chuckled.
"Don't waste a moment," Dorea coughed, "life doesn't go on forever."
"Don't say that mum," there were tears in his eyes now.
"It's true though love; no matter how much you want to give to your life, no matter the things you achieve, the dreams that come true… it always ends."
"But then what happens?" James asked, with floods of tears falling freely down his face.
"Then you enter into the next big adventure."
"What do you mean – like a ghost?"
"No – a ghost will never experience anything more than a shadow of what they once knew. But those who do not fear death, those who welcome it like an old friend, they will experience an adventure that they can't even imagine. There is more to magic than what we know and see and feel; it doesn't end – not ever."
Dorea coughed, "do you remember when you were a little boy and your father would tell you the story about those three brothers?"
"Yes, the one who had a cloak just like mine?" James asked, confused by the reference to his favourite childhood story.
"You can only evade death for so long love," Dorea told her son, "He might not know where to find you when you hide under that cloak, but you can choice to welcome him when the time is right. Never fear death. There are worse things than dying."
"Like what mum?" James asked.
"Living when everything you love is gone… Living in fear, in pain, in prison… living your whole life without knowing what it is to be loved…"
She took a deep breath, "as long as you make the most of this life, as long as you make the most of each moment, you will never fear death and you will meet me on the other side."
"You think you are going to die?" James asked suddenly scared.
"Perhaps not today, but yes, I will die when my time comes," Dorea smiled, "but don't you fret love; I'm perfectly ready to great death like an old friend… I am getting on you know…" she chuckled to herself.