Disclamer : Andrew Hussie

Pairing : DirkJake, JohnKat, MeFluff (my new OTP)

Corrected by Tiresias Pyrope, may the AOL be with you bro xD

The funny autor notes are bellow, as always ;D

Chapter 2

When I woke up that morning, I wasn't in my bed.

I was under a mountain of blankets, in the middle of an untidy living room. It took me few seconds to remember where I was, and what happened. Dirk, if I am right, helped me to fix the sink yesterday, and I ended on his couch for the night. Slowly, I left the warm embrace of the blankets and began to wander in the flat. I wasn't home after all, I couldn't just have a breakfast as if I was, it would be extremely rude. Suddenly, I heard a baby laugh hard not far from me.

I found Dirk holding his brother against his face, screaming 'ninja battle' and 'no, you won't defeat me!' while laughing himself. They rolled on the floor, Dirk starting to tickle Dave with his 'shaolin technique of Stormy Tickle!', then breathed against his belly, which made him giggle harder if that's possible. I couldn't help but to find it extremely cute. My sister and I were pretty close when we were children, but never that close. Rested against the frame of the door, I felt a smile crossing my lips as I watched them, waiting to be noticed.

I should've run, if I knew that Dirk would catch me in their battle when he saw me. We fought a little, then I surrendered to Dave, who was a formidable opponent. His brother, sitting on my belly, took us in a great hug. It was nice, even if my cheeks were bright red... It's not like I believed in reincarnation, but I feel as if he was my brother or something like that. Could we call it friendship at first sight? This is stupid, yet I don't want to go back to my apartment now...

I was able to feel his breath on my collarbone. It was an unusual, nice, but slightly awkward sensation since we were two men. I mean, I pretty much lived on a desert island until now, but I am pretty sure that men don't hug on the floor like this.

- "Hum... Dirk?"

No answer. I tried to push him a little, even to tickle him, but nothing. I began to panic. What was happening? Was he unconscious? Was it a stupid joke? I guess Dave understood that something was wrong, because he began to cry at his bro. I put him in his bed, then lift Dirk to his own. He must've caught a cold the day before: his forehead was burning. Now I can't help but to feel responsible, if I hadn't broken my sink, he would've never spent the night all soaked and would've never catch a disease. Suddenly, a husky voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

- "Dude... Jake.

- "Holly sink! Are you alright?

- "...Seriously man? Batman and Robin?

- "It was a great film!"

- "No it wasn't, replied Dirk by coughing. Can you check my phone for 'Dr Douche'? He's a friend of the family, he'll heal me.

- "Okay, if you say so..."

So I called that mysterious doctor. A tough voice answered rudely, asking me what the fuck did I wanted to him, cursing at the Strider family for almost ten minutes.

- "Listen, Dr. Douche..."

- "Dr. what?!

- "Well, Dirk never told me your name, so I assumed..."

- "You assumed?! Fuck yourself too, you fucking bastard! I bet that idiot find a way to become ill, and he asked you to ask me if I could save him? Does the guy know that I'm no more a doctor than he's an engineer in robotics? Just because he loaned me money to pay my studies doesn't mean I have to take care of his ass each time he has hemorrhoids! I'll be there at twelve, be sure that his flat is tidy or I'll go back to my sweet home that I should've never left immediately!"

Then he hung up, leaving me no time to speak. Dirk was half giggling, half coughing, apparently very proud of his prank. My own phone rang just after that, remembering that I had forgot something very important today...

- "English, where are you?!"

- "Stop calling me English, Egbert. Go to the tenth floor and ring to the 413th, I'm in my neighbor's flat."

- "You don't waste time, aren't you tiger?"

- "Shut up, there's nothing like that! I answered, feeling my cheeks reddening. "I had a flood in my apartment yesterday so he helped me for the night."

- "Sure, I'll believe you. Wait for me, hot stuff, I trust your tastes when it comes to pretty girls."

- "John, I said 'he' helped me."

- "No homo, Jake."

My darling cousin, as funny as ever. I explained the situation to Dirk, who sighed very deeply, then fell unconscious. Again. Maybe a true love kiss would wake him up for good? Just kidding, I won't kiss him in his sleep, that would just make me some kind of creepy pervert. I don't want to catch his illness. And I don't want to keep blushing like that, what's wrong with me?!

Taking Dave in my arms since he began to weep a little, I opened the door to John, whose eyes widened when he saw me.

- "Whoa, dude, I thought you were kidding me! Why didn't you tell me sooner about the baby? And how did you even have it, you're both guys!"

I hit him.

- "This is Dirk's brother, you moron."

- "Are you guys planning to wed some day? Because I would totally like to be your best man!"

- "Shut it, John, I told you there's nothing like that between us. I met him yesterday!"

We talked a lot when we were cleaning the lounge. John had dumped his last girlfriend because she was cheating on him, his studies were boring and he still hesitated to quit so he can open a prank-shop, Grandma gave him cookies the other day, and he missed his dog. I like John, I really do! But he talks too much. Speaking of the lounge, even I, who's far from being a perfect homemaker, made it so it wasn't that messy. We hadn't had the time to clean half of it when the doorbell rang.

What a strange fellow, that Dr. Vantas. Big, bright, brown eyes which looked like melted gold in the morning light. Black curled hair that I immediately wanted to pet so much; it seemed so soft. Tanned skin and pointy teeth.

He began to curse at us, at the Striders, at his job, at his life, and then suddenly stopped. He looked at John, John looked at him. He took a step and... got drenched because of the bucket of filthy water. The spell was broken, he followed his cursing where he was like nothing happened. Just before I followed him in Dirk's room, I saw John rubbing his cheeks as if the reddening would be gone like that. Who's gay now?

After fixing Dirk up, Mr. Vantas cooked us food while John kept cleaning the flat. After all, there will be three to sleep in the lounge tonight. Sitting on Dirk's bed, he told me that it did not bother him since we didn't broke anything or strife all the night. After all the effort we put into cleaning everything, he couldn't possibly refuse such an offer.

- "But you're gonna sleep with me tonight."

- "Excuse me?!"

- "Well, there's room for two on the couch, and Karkat has no flight until Tuesday. Unless you want to sleep on the floor."

- "Oh. I thought you were asking me to... nevermind."

- "Are you serious?" he laughed. I didn't know that you fancied me."

- "Shut up Strider!"

He laughed at me, followed by Dave who understood nothing but thought he had to do like his brother. I took the baby on my knees and tickled him, so he had a reason to giggle.

- "And may I know what is your incurable disease?"

- "Tuberculosis, according to Karkat. I think I just caught a cold."

- "Do you want a hot milk with honey? I can ask John to bring you one."

- "You're the perfect wife, dude. Do you want to marry me?"

- "Fuck off."

- "No cursing in front of the child, sweetheart."

- "I'll divorce and take all your money. And your collection of My Little Pony artworks."

- "Don't break my heart, I'm sick remember?" he said by grabbing my shirt and pulling me in his embrace."

- "What are you doing?!"

- "Hugging you. You're so warm Jake... Be my teddy bear."

- "Okay, the fever makes you say nonsense, I'm leaving."

- "If you stay, I'll show you my..."

- "I don't want to see it!"

- "My eyes, dumbass."

We stared at each other. I was indeed very curious of what was hiding behind his shades. Since he didn't take them off in the night, I assumed he was blind or something, but then I heard him reading ninja stories to Dave. Speaking of him, he suddenly felt like he wasn't the center of the attention and began to hit my knee with a book. His brother grounded him, but the kid ignored him and launched a smuppet at my face.

- "Bro is miiiiiiiine!"

- "Davey, you're my best buddy, aren't you?"

- "No!"

- "That was mean, lil bro", Dirk intervened. "Look, he's going to cry now." (he whispered) "Cry!"

I imitated sobbing noises by rubbing my eyes. Dave immediately felt bad then touched my hand and began to cry himself. I took him in my arms and reassured him. Dirk hugged the both of us and told his brother to apologize.

- "Sorry."

- "Are we friends now?"

- "... yes."

Then Dave did the cutest thing I've ever seen: he grabbed my neck with his tiny hands and kissed me on the cheek. I felt so good at that moment... hugged, loved, warmed. I realized it was what Iwas missing until now: a true family. Grandma and John were my closest relatives, but as far as I remember, nobody hugged me since I was 5. So I hugged them back.

- "I don't want to interrupt anything -and for god's sake you could at least do this while Dave is asleep- but the expensive pizzas I ordered with you credit card has arrived", Karkat said. "And your cousin has been hogging the bathroom for half an hour, get him the fuck out of here, I need to pee."

Reluctantly, I left the sweet embrace to see what John was doing. I said hi to Roxy who went to spend the night here too with her cat, then knocked at the door. I, of course, knew what he was doing. I mean, since I'm the elder I had that kind of problems long before him.

- "Are you okay in there? Do you need me to tell you disgusting things?"

- "Fuck off Jake! answered a husky voice."

- "I must admit he's hot. But if you don't get rid of that boner there will be no pizza left for you!"

- "Can't you just leave?! The more you say, the more it comes back!"

- "That's my sexy voice, even you can't resist."

I left him and joined Roxy and Karkat on the lounge carpet. I hardly recognized the place as it was now clean and bright. Dirk joined us with Dave on his baby-chair, followed not long after by a bright red John. I thought it was going to be a quiet evening when my new friends began to argue about the film they wanted to watch.

Funny autor notes time ;D

Almost 4000 word in a few days, in English, between the tons of tests I have to do, I must say that I am very proud of myself xD

Since nobody commented last time, I am still wondering if you find what I write interesting...? I mean, there are almost 100 views but no one commented, is it that bad? Or maybe people are more interested in sadstuck, then I understand. But hey, smile, life is not sad bro xD Even if you think you have nothing to say, say it! I love tchatting with people x)

The 3rd chapter, maybe the 4th and 5th will be published around November 10th, or even later since I am officially on vacations :D

As far as my usual French readers are concerned : vous inquiétez pas les gars, j'écris en anglais sur ce fandom juste parce que le fandom français est encore trop faible x) Mais nous vaincrons l'anglois, et le bouterons hors de nos terres xDDD Au pire si ça marche pas, on suit la tradition nationale : on se syndicalise et après on se met en grève xD (n'est-ce pas MikageKun ? ;D)

Pour l'instant la version française est en hiatus parce que j'ai écrit ce chapitre directement en anglais, mais si vous êtes nombreux à me le demander une traduction arrivera x)

See you in the next chapter!