A/N:

We both really appreciate the on-going support for this story – thank you so much to everyone and particularly the guest reviewers because we can't PM you so here's to you Julie/Stendanmad/Stu. Every single review really helps us keep to motivated, up our game, and adds to our enjoyment of writing it so so much!

But if you'd rather just follow/favourite that's awesome too and thank you so much – we're bowled over every time someone new follows! But we don't bite – that's Brendan's job! And if you feel like it we'd love to hear some words.

For those of you who are holding out for Ste's ultimate happiness – we are too! But it will be a while getting there, so this chapters at least a little happier to get us by!

Chapter Warning:

Obviously angst, smut and swearing – but all three a little less than in the previous chapters.

Chapter five – Ste Hay.

Everything's proper black innit – real dark, I can't see much. And then I can. I can see a lot, only it's nothing that what I want to see - it's Leah and Lucas scared; it's Mam that day I couldn't wake her up; and Terry after that; it's Terry with the baseball bat; it's the dude with the knife who'd paid me Mam fifty so he could teach me a real lesson.

"Steven."

And then it's him, it' Mr Brady and everything's alright cos he keeps telling me that innit? And I feel alright, like, when he's holding me. His arms look proper strong, like they could protect me from anything, only their changing around me, he's losin' those tatts and he's getting weaker and he looks proper old and it's not Mr Brady no more, it's Mr Fox and he's digging through into my skin and pillin' in loads of insects.

I scream.

I blink around the room and I don't remember how I got here – to Mr Brady's bed. I know that was a dream right? Don't know if I'm safe though. I don't feel proper safe.

"It's ok Steven, I've got you," Brady tells me and I feel oxygen enter my body quickly and my lungs start to work properly.

I breathe his name cos it feels like the only thing I can say and try to lift my head to see him but all my muscles are proper heavy and I feel like I'm wrapped in cotton wool.

I kick at the thing I'm covered in - I feel like it's suffocating me.

"Sssh, ssssh-ssssh, it's OK, you're safe I promise." He breathes, and he helps to take the duvet off me.

I still can't properly see him though.

"Come 'ere?" I ask and he moves so I can.

He stands awkward like, like not like him. And I guess it's cos he's worried you know that I've been lashing out.

So I just say, "hug?"

And he sits on the bed with me, wraps those arms around my waist and pulls my back against his chest. And I can breathe now, like this.

"Do you remember what happened?" He asks.

And it's like, with that question, he reminds me cos I can feel it then innit? The danger of before, the fight with those men and that drug. And I know he really did save me.

I nod, because I don't know if words could come out.

I feel his lips against my forehead and I remember different touches then, soft and slow and gentle and him. And I remember things from last night – his voice and his eyes and that feeling like I might burn forever but in a good way. I look up at him and all I can proper see is his stubble, you know on his chin leading up to his tash. I wanna touch him, know what it feels like. But I still can't move, not really, so I just look.

A little later he asks, "do you want for anything?"

All I want is him to hold me tighter innit? So I just press my fingers into his skin, feeling warmth and muscle and power. His arms pull me closer, his face is nuzzled into my neck.

"Are you hungry?" he asks and I am a little so I nod. "I'll go make us some food."

And as soon as he says that I'm scared. Proper terrified. Of him leaving, cos I'd be proper alone. Of Mr Fox and those guys getting to me, cos I don't know what they'd do. Of me Mam and Terry finding me, cos I do know exactly what they'd do – I know what I deserve.

I grip Mr Brady tighter and say, "No."

Cos it's just better when he's here innit? Like I don't do stupid things that need punishing.

"Please - don't go."

"You need to eat, Steven."

"I don't, I'm fine, I'm fine – just don't go anywhere."

"OK," he promises.

There's a glass of water and half a sandwich on the table next to the bed. I guess he was eating it before I woke up. He offers it me and it smells real good but I don't think I could move to pick it up so I just shake my head.

"Do you want it?" He asks.

And I nod, so he presses two fingers against my chin, gently but firm, till I'm looking at him. He breaks a small bit of the sandwich off and feeds it to me. And I should hate this shouldn't I? Cos I mean he's patronising me or something, but he's not really. As I swallow, it's like he's glad, like he wants to help and that's all he's doing – protecting me. He feeds me the entire sandwich and then holds the water up to my lips and I'm dying of thirst so I gulp it quick but it makes me cough and I splutter a little.

"Slowly," he corrects me.

He wipes at the water on my chin like it's no problem and proper normal to forget how to drink.

I sip slowly and he's just - patient.

And I know he won't leave me now. I'm protected.

***K&M****

I open me eyes to the sun proper streaming through a gap in the curtains. It takes a min for me eyes to adjust and then I realise where I am. I'm in 'is bed . I'm facing the window and can feel his strong arms round me. 'olding me tight. I shift a little and turn to face him. He's awake and looking at me. Proper intense like.

'is eyes are red though and he's got right dark circles under 'em.

"You look knackered, 'ave you slept at all?"

"Don't worry about me. I don't need sleep" he replies. "More importantly, how are you?"

"I've got a right headache and feel like I've done ten rounds in a boxin' ring. But ok."

"Just rest a bit longer."

I stay wrapped in 'is arms for a bit longer thinking about the last couple of days but then somethin' starts buggin' me.

"I was wondering, how did you know where to find me?"

He pauses a little and then says, "I overheard two idiots in the village near the club exchanging details about taking over drugging some kid that messed their boss over. Then I saw your bike and put two and two together."

And I smile at him then cos he keeps saying he's gonna protect me, and I guess he really means it.

***K&M***

We spend a day just bein' together. It's just me 'n' him. And although we're not naked and we don't kiss and we don't even proper touch it's just like we don't need nothing else but to sit together. And it's like what I dreamed of before – you know back in June, when I just wanted more than the time after school before the kids got back. It's like we matter.

We watch telly mostly. And he listens when I talk, y'know even when I'm just rambling, and no-one does that, not even Leah and Lucas. So it's just the perfect day.

I get my strength as the day gets later and I feel alright so when he's popped to the loo I get up and start cooking – spaghetti bolognaise.

I feel his eyes like on me and as I turn around he's propped up against the wall - his arm over the wall and his head to one side and he's sort of smiling at me.

"What are you doing, Steven?" He asks.

So I say, "ridin' my bike in Hawaii!"

And I make him laugh, you know like how I used to.

"It looks like you're cooking."

"Full marks."

He helps himself to a teaspoon of the sauce – greedy! I swipe him away. Although I kinda like that he closes his eyes like he thinks it's tasty.

"You couldn't even get out of bed two hours ago, maybe you should go sit down, I'll keep cookin."

"Like I wanna eat your cookin'!" I say which isn't proper fair cos I've never had his cookin have I? But the boys used to say it's not up to much. But I don't say it for that though, I say it more cos I wanna show him I'm stronger now and he can stop treatin' me like I'm not. "Anyway you're the old man innit? You go sit down!"

He laughs again, shakin' his head. He does that smile he used to when I was proper cheeky and he'd slap me on the arse - gentle like, unless I asked for it harder. And I see his fingers twitch like he's thinking 'bout the same thing. So I go proper up close to him and bend down and stretch as if the whole thing's to pick up the pan for the pasta and I hear that deep breath he always does when he checks me out.

When it's done we eat it at the kitchen table. I sit proper up close, so my knees brush his. He doesn't look like he's noticed though, he looks a little too obsessed with the food. And I watch him eat proper fast like he wants the whole thing in his mouth right now. And I laugh, cos I tell Leah and Lucas off when they eat like this.

"You like it?"

"It's really good, yeah. My boys said you could cook." He says and I feel myself get all shy over the compliment, like it means more than just nice words, or something.

Then he puts the fork down, twitches his lips and looks right into my eyes. I'm such an eejit that I don't have the first clue of what he's about to say.

"We need someone in our lives who can cook this well, Steven – did you ever think anymore bout my offer to be their nanny? It would be good for you."

And it proper winds me up don' it? That he thinks what would be good for me is just to turn my back on my family and come and live here with him so he can "look after me" as he put it in that pub. Like I can't look out for myself and like I don't have no-one else to look after either. I mean what would happen to Leah and Lucas if I did leave? Would they have to start doin' my other jobs? Would they start doin' that? And I could never go back home again, cos I'd betrayed them innit? And cos I can see exactly what Terry would think about me being a 'nanny'.

I get real angry so I shove the pasta back and say, "you don't have the faintest what's good for me, Brady."

And he stares at me for a good few moments, and then he looks sad that I'm angry, but I won't take it back.

Later, I feel his knees find mine under the table and he does this sort of smile and I get this rushing feeling like I'm at the edge of a cliff and about to fall real fast, and it might be scary and I might end up in flames -it's gonna be dead exciting though.

Next thing, I realise I'm smiling too, me.

***K&M****

He tells me he has to go out tonight, "a business dinner". I get real scared that he's saying I have to go home – not just cos of Terry and Mam but cos I don't want the twins to see me all weak. But he says it's OK, I don't have to go anywhere and I can wait here till he gets back.

"I'm going to keep you under my guard, Steven." He says and he seems to like saying things like that, and I get that feeling that I only get when I'm around him – like I'm special.

***K&M****

I really want a dip, my muscles feel tired and achey and I know Tony'd say the stretches would help. So I suggest we go and he digs out some shorts I fit in. I'm waitin for him in the pool when he gets down and he's wearin' these black swim shorts that are tight and his entire body is on display, obviously other than rude bits. And he just looks that way he always does, you know, masculine.

He steps slowly into the water and as his chest hair gets wet it goes darker and it makes his skin look paler. He's so fuckin' sexy.

He dips down - head right down in the water, and then flicks back and big water droplets are falling off his hair and off his tash and off his nose and there's strength in his arms and it makes him look powerful. So with not really thinkin' I splash him and he laughs again splashin' back hard. I swim away and splash him a little more and he chases me so I swim proper fast try'na show off I guess. But I run out of puff quicker than I thought. And my body gets proper tired and I'm at the deep end now but I don't think I can even tread water.

I feel my heart start to beat really fast but before I proper panic his arms are at my hips, and he's holdin' me. He sort of carries me back to the shallow end.

"I can swim proper good me," I say as he sits me down on the steps.

And he makes this noise like he don't believe me but I can can't I? So I tell him, "used to win competitions and all sorts!"

"OK."

"I did!"

"I said OK, I believe you, Steven!" He breathes like he honestly does.

And he comes across that it's not that he don't believe me, but that he's distracted. And I realise I don't remember the last time he wasn't looking at me. He's starin' like proper intense right? Right at my lips, and he gets that look he used to just before he kissed me. But he's still just sittin' there right? And he don't move closer but he don't look away neither.

I feel myself blush a little and I don't really think of the words before I say, "you look like you proper wanna kiss me."

And I watch him swallow hard but he doesn't stop starin'.

So I add, "you can if you want."

He blinks long and slow like he's proper tempted but he thinks better of it. And he shakes his head and looks away, he even looks a bit pissed.

"Was just sayin'!" I say defensively.

"Do you know how much I want that Steven?" He says and his voice is proper low, his accent proper strong like it was when I was getting' him off. I feel my cock stir as I remember.

"Why don't you then?"

I can feel us now, beating through me. So I feel strong. I trail my hand up through his hair, makin' him look at me, proper like. And when I get him to look at me again he's just starin' proper wide. I smile. I'm ready for this, I want you – I try to tell him.

He lifts his hand slowly to me. I stop breathin' proper as soon as his fingers touch my cheek. I'm so bloody turned on. His hand moves lower and his strong, rough, large thumb brushes against my bottom lip that way he does and I pant a little. He swims round so he's in front of me. He keeps lookin' from my eyes to my lips and back again. And it takes him forever to start to move and longer to get closer, but the moment he does kiss me it's like there was no build up. He takes me by surprise with the strength and the power and the roughness of it. And though it's obvious it's him, with the burn of his tash and the stretch of his lips and the tear of his teeth, I'm not sure he's ever kissed me like this before – like he needs to consume me.

He pushes me back against the step, leaning me proper far back so the steps above dig into my spine. And he just keeps kissin' me.