A/N: Hi! A huge thank you to those who read my story, and hugs for the ones who reviewed: Novrier, Linzerj, Andrewthegreat1, inspibrain101 and Shadow The Assassin!
P.S. Imaginary cookies for those who guess from which show are the two quotes in the diary entry.
Now, let's enjoy!
Love.
It has so many forms and definitions, but when you truly think about it, no one can point out which one of those definitions is the truth.
Some see love as the necessary thing in their lives, their final goal and the thing they aim to achieve no matter what.
Some see love as a double-edged knife, dangerous and not worth the pain that follows it eventually and damages you for life.
Yet, the only thing we can truly say about love is that it exists, and that's it. Nothing else is for sure, it's just our own opinion and experience that led us to a certain conclusion.
I remember when I heard a definition of love and sentiment in general that at first sounded like rubbish to me, but with time I found myself thinking about it and really seeing the truth in it.
Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.
And when you think about it, you can really see the sense in it. It's always the side that loves the most that is the one that hurts the most and ends up with a broken heart.
When we are in love, we can never see that thin line between loving someone and wanting them near and obsessing over someone and failing to see that they were never really ours to begin with.
I learned that the hard way, trust me.
I also learned that not everyone is as unfortunate as I am when it comes to love... Some do get their happily
ever after and all that stuff.
But for me, it's not like that.
Because in the end all heart are broken and caring is not an advantage.
And for so long, I believed in it without a doubt.
Yet, it all changed recently.
Bruce Banner
A statement that was heard the next morning was enough to cause the chaos in the seemingly calm Stark Tower and send its habitants into action.
It wasn't that early in the morning when they noticed that one of their own was gone. Being tired from all the talking and explaining yesterday, each one of the Avengers decided to take a break from their routine and emerge from their rooms a little later than usual. That's why no one actually found it suspicious that she wasn't there.
Around noon, they finally noticed the absence of the red-haired Widow.
In fact, it was Clint who noticed it. No one could forget the way he ran into the kitchen, his voice clear of all emotions, but his eyes showing only a small part of fear and panic that he must have felt in that moment.
"Natasha is gone."
He might didn't show it, but he was slightly scared. Natasha had never left without telling him anything, no matter how important the reason for her departure can be. She would at least leave a message, a short note, such as 'I'll be back in a few days' or 'Got a call from Fury'. They might seem like nothing, but to Clint that meant that she would be coming back. But that morning, or rather afternoon, he didn't find a single note. Maybe that's why they all reacted as soon as he pointed out the 'problem'.
When he entered the kitchen and announced his discovery, it took them all a few minutes to snap out of the shock. Tony even tried to brush it off as a joke, saying that she was probably just gone for a day or two, but only Bruce could see the emotions behind Clint's hard façade, so he decided to check it out, no matter what the others say. Better safe than sorry, right?
"Jarvis, can you tell me when was the last time you saw Agent Romanoff?" Banner asked, his voice calm and collected as he lowered his tea and concentrated on the hologram that appeared in front of him. He was thankful that Jarvis had such a fast reaction time.
"Miss Romanoff left the building around two a.m. this morning, Doctor Banner. Pulling out the surveillance recording from outside of the Tower as we speak." The hologram came to life, but the darkness of the night made all the harder to see anything. A few seconds later, the lights suddenly turned on, as a figure left the building, heading towards the street in a steady pace. It was hard to tell who it was at first, but soon, in all that darkness, only red hair was seen.
"That's her! That's definitely her."
"Is it possible that she had a mission?" Bruce asked as the video came to an end, and by that time everyone was looking at Clint, waiting for his answer and explanation. Even Thor was quiet, his pop tart forgotten in his plate.
"She would've told me."
"Come on Legolas, maybe she just got tired of you and decided to go for a vacation." Tony commented over the rim of his cup as he took a sip of his coffee and continued to read the newspaper, like nothing had happened.
It wasn't that he was uninterested and not worried about her, but he wouldn't admit that he was a little jealous of all the attention that the missing agent got, especially from his science bro.
"Trust me, Stark, she would've told me."
"Okay, guys, no need to fight now. We need to find Miss Romanoff. Does anyone had any plan?" To stop the fight that was ready to erupt, Steve easily stepped into the leader role, making the others straighten up and start thinking. Even Tony lowered the newspaper and started using his brain, for the first time since he got up that morning.
"Well, it is clear that she wasn't kidnapped. Maybe we should ask Fury about it? He always keeps track of everyone's life, right?" Bruce suggested, half-joking, trying to break the thick and uncomfortable tension, but the attempt failed because Clint's eyes hardened as he considered Bruce's idea.
Bruce could easily see the gears working in Clint's head and he immediately knew what the young archer had in mind.
Without waiting, Clint launched himself towards the garage to take a car, with Bruce following his lead because, after all, he knew how the archer was thinking. He wasn't panics like normal people because he knows that Natasha can take care of herself, but it doesn't mean that he likes it, and he often acts recklessly when he lacks information.
"Clint, we should wait for the others." Bruce leaned onto the doors when Clint reached to open them, making him stop for a second and look him in the eyes. Their usual blue color was now ice-cold, almost gray, while the storm of emotions played behind that stone façade.
"Bruce, I need-..."
"Everything will be fine, don't worry. Rushing into things won't help you at all. Just take a deep breath and wait for the others. I can hear them coming, they'll be here in a few seconds." The soft touch on his forearm made Clint release the handle and take a deep breath, leaning slightly onto the car as he waited as patiently as he could. While Bruce ignored the tapping noise that Clint was making with his fingers.
The others came in exactly 23 seconds, pretty much suited up and ready to fight, if the situation asks them too. Steve was in his normal clothes, a sweatpants and a plain T-shirt, but he still brought his shield with him, while Thor followed in his full equipment and all. Only Tony seemed uninterested and defenceless, but Bruce noticed the bracelets for his suit around his wrists and he also knew that Tony had one suit on the helicarrier and in his car, so he was also ready to fight if needed.
"Can we go now?" Clint's voice snapped Bruce from his thoughts and he noticed that he was still blocking the doors while the others were waiting for him and his decision. It was funny to see their leader, Captain, waiting for the timid Doctor to give them his permission.
But Bruce could find some logic in that- they didn't want the Other Guy making appearance.
"Let's go. Tony, can we all squeeze in one car or do we have to take two?"
"Whatever you decide, Jolly Green."
"Oh... Thanks. We should try to squeeze in into this one. Clint, you drive, Steve, go to the passenger seat. Tony and I should sit in the back with Thor... Somehow."
"Hey! I object! Point Break is huge, he'll squish us like mosquitos. No offense." Naturally, Tony complained, sending an apologetic look towards Thor who didn't really seem to mind being caller huge. In fact, he seemed to be pleased, like it was a compliment.
"And can you imagine me, Steve and Thor in the back?" Bruce asked, taking a few steps to his left so he can stand between Thor and Steve, to show Tony exactly what he meant by that.
His point was taken because with a sigh, they got into the car and somehow headed towards S.H.I.E.L.D.'s headquarters, to demand to see Fury.
If they are lucky, he might be there, instead of the helicarrier.
It took them an hour to get to the S.H.I.E.L.D. and another half hour to pass through the security that appears to have the order to not let them through (they all suspected Fury had something to do with it).
But as soon as they saw the good Doctor going a little green, they had no other choice than to let them pass.
Five minutes since they got into the building plus three minutes of an extremely uncomfortable elevator ride (too many people in such a small box), and they were in front of Fury's office. According to the timid agent that was at the beginning of the hallway, the Director was 'busy', but in his office.
In their usual way, they banged the door open and ignoring all the manners, started yelling.
"Where is Natasha?" Clint was the first to break, clearly the tension getting the worst from him. The others decided to stay quiet, but they were glaring at the Director.
Now, Fury was something else.
The second he heard the bang, he stopped writing the report that was in front of him, but he didn't look up or drop the pencil. He just waited, counting the steps and when Clint spoke, he just continued writing like nothing happened.
Like they weren't there.
The irritation on Clint's face, due to this serious problem, and Tony's face, due to the fact that he was being ignored and he hated that, was growing. Thankfully, Bruce saw the upcoming danger, so he decided to speak, no matter how much he hated talking with Fury.
"Director, we would like to know if you have any information about Agent Romanoff. Agent Barton is worried about her because she didn't call anyone or announce her departure." He spoke calmly and slowly, taking a deep breath here and there while playing with the button on his jacket's sleeve, trying to calm his nerves and keep the other guy from showing up.
A few more seconds passed after Bruce spoke and he could see Fury deciding whether to answer them or just ignore them, but he probably realized that they won't be gone unless he answers them, because with a sigh he looked up at them for the first time since they got in.
"... Was it so hard to ask politely, Agent Barton?" He asked, his tone cold as ever, but the hint of amusement flashed in his eyes. But just as fast, it was gone.
He probably felt bad (yeah, right) when he saw the slight panic in Clint's expression, so he pulled out a paper from the stack of files and handed it to the first pair of hands that shot out to take it. It was, of course, Clint.
"Agent Romanoff came this morning at four a.m., with a request. She asked for a mission, a long one, in some cold place, preferably Russia. It was a mere coincidence that we had an easy but extremely long mission in that area, and we sent her there."
"Why?"
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.
"Listen, Agent Barton, I had no obligation to tell you all this because every mission is classified. Plus, my agent asked me not to tell you where she was and when she will be coming back. But I made an exception and I expect you to appreciate it. When an agent, your best agent, requires a mission, you give it to him without asking why. Now go, I have unfinished business."
And with that, Fury's attention was back at the paper in front of him, completely ignoring his team.
They had no other choice than to leave, so they just left without muttering a goodbye, except for Bruce, who was being polite despite the circumstances.
"What now?" They stopped once they were outside of the office and Captain was the first one to gather himself and ask the question that everyone had on their mind. On one side, they didn't want to bother Natasha since she didn't want then to know where she was, but on the other side, she was their teammate, and something was definitely wrong. So naturally, they wanted to make it right again. Or at least as 'right' as it is possible.
Without thinking, they all glanced at Clint who was staring at the paper, skimming over the mission details but he shared nothing with them. He noticed the eyes on him and when he looked up, they knew what his plan was without him voicing it.
"We go get her."
Later, when a few agents came into Fury's office, saying that one of their Quinjets was 'kidnapped', he just ignored them with a knowing smirk on his face.