Ryder lay in his bed, covers pulled up to his chin to make sure that his parents wouldn't see any sign of what had happened if they were to walk in. The moment he had arrived home he assured his mother that he would be fine on his own before heading straight upstairs to his bedroom, grabbing a change of clothes and making a beeline for the shower, desperate to wash off the blood, sweat and everything else contaminating his body. He had stayed in the shower long after the water ran cold before finally stepping out, not wanting to risk his parents getting suspicious.
Since then, he had only left the bed once - when he realized he needed to get his phone to make sure he didn't miss anything important and raise suspicions. He had decided while in the shower that his best chance for keeping anyone from finding out what had happened was to still go on the trip. His friends were a lot less likely to question a sudden love of turtlenecks then his parents were, especially considering that he only had about three of them.
Since he had sent the last text to Sam confirming that he was sure he'd be better in the morning, he hadn't checked a clock and he had no idea how long he had been laying there. All he knew what that he couldn't risk getting up until his parents were asleep and he didn't particularly want to get up anyway. He mother had already been in to check on him twice, once asking if he was coming down to dinner. He had quickly assured her that he wasn't hungry and just wanted to try and sleep in hopes that he would be 'better for the trip tomorrow'. He was sure that she'd be in again before she went to bed.
He had tried his best to go to sleep but hadn't managed it yet; he couldn't seem to stop replaying what had happened in his mind, along with everything that lead up to it. Hindsight was showing him every little sign that he had missed and he hated himself for it. It was all his fault. Dyslexia was no excuse, he was just an idiot.
He stared at the ceiling as he desperately tried to push the memories away. He felt dirty and ashamed and an ache that had little to do with his injuries had settled itself somewhere deep inside him and it didn't seem to have any plans to go away. He wished that he could go back in time or wipe his memory. He just wanted the day to have never happened; he wanted to go sleep and wake up to realize it had all been a dream. Anything to make it all just go away.
There was a knock on his door before he heard it slowly open and his mother softly whisper his name.
"I'm awake mom." he replied, rolling over to face her as he tried to keep the wince off his face.
"Are you feeling any better?" she asked, looking concerned as she stepped into the room.
"A little, I think I'll be fine to go on the trip tomorrow." he said.
She stepped over to his bed, putting a hand on his forehead to check for a temperature before sighing, "If you're sure." she conceded, "Do you need anything before I go to bed?"
"No, mom, I'm fine." he said in the most convincing voice he could manage, "Good night."
"Good night." she repeated before heading back out of the room and shutting the door behind her.
He waited until he heard her go back down the stairs before he sat up, heading over to his suitcase and pulling everything out of it before going back through his clothes and repacking, this time including three barely-worn turtleneck sweaters, one he didn't even remember owning and setting aside another for the next day.
He stepped quickly out into the hall, making his way into the bathroom next to his bedroom to brush his teeth before stopping as he stood in front of the mirror, staring at the clearly visible bruises on his neck and arms. The bruise on his neck wasn't bad and he hoped it would fade in a couple of days, but the multiple bruises on his arms were a very different story and he was suddenly very glad that it was only March. He would need to stick to long sleeve shirts for a while.
He took in a shaky breath as he stared at the evidence of what had happened to him before slowly lifting his tee-shirt and wincing at the nasty looking bruise on his stomach. At least that one and the bruises he knew would be on the back of his legs would be easy to hide. Blinking back the tears in his eyes, he quickly tore his gaze from the mirror and brushed his teeth before heading straight back to his room, reminding himself that he couldn't risk running the hot water out again while his parents could be trying to get showers too. Maybe if he could just go to sleep, somehow it would all be better in the morning.
Ryder breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped outside and quickly made his way towards the king cab truck where Puck and Jake were waiting. He knew they would be picking up Marley and Unique as well before heading out for the cabins that had been booked for the New Directions and their chaperones but he was desperately hoping he could pretend to be asleep for most of the ride. He was sorer then he had ever been and he still hadn't completely figured out how to pretend to be normal. He had barely made it through breakfast without making his mother suspicious.
"Hey, man. Put your bag in the back and hop in." Puck called out the window as Ryder made his way towards the truck.
He quickly did as he was told, putting his bag in the bed of the truck with the others that he assumed belonged to each of the Puckerman brothers before climbing in the back seat as Jake had already taken the passenger's seat next to his brother. Ryder buckled up and shifted for a moment in a quick but fairly futile attempt to get comfortable before he leaned against the window. "Thanks for picking me up." He said before closing his eyes, hoping to be believably "asleep" before they picked up the girls.
"It's not a problem. You're on the way to Marley's anyway." Jake said before turning to look at him, "What's up with you, I thought you were excited for this?"
Ryder opened his eyes to see the other boy staring at him and quickly gave the best smile he could manage. "I am, I guess that's why I couldn't really sleep last night. If I try and sleep now, less chance of crashing when I get there, right?"
Jake shook his head in amusement, "Whatever, man. I'm surprised you didn't grab one of those energy drinks Marley's always been yelling at you about." He commented.
"Saving those for later!" Ryder shot back with another forced grin before closing his eyes again and focusing on evening out his breathing. He heard Puck laugh and a quick, whispered conversation as Puck asked about the story behind the energy drink comment before both brothers quieted, seeming to have decided it was best to let Ryder sleep. He really had brought a few of the drinks but they were a last line of defense, meant to keep the others from becoming suspicious and to keep himself awake if nightmares became a problem.
It wasn't long before he felt the car stop and a few seconds later he heard a quick whisper of "Ryder's asleep. Don't want him up unless you want him to pull out the energy drinks, he says he brought them." just before a quiet laugh where he could almost see the eye roll as he felt Marley scooting carefully onto the middle seat beside him, clearly trying not to wake him. When a few minutes later both Marley and Jake were shushing Unique as Puck chuckled softly, Ryder couldn't help but be surprised. He was barely back on speaking terms with the couple and he hadn't thought he had been forgiven enough for them to be so careful about not waking him up and it almost made him feel guilty about the fact that he wasn't really asleep.
The rest of the ride was quiet, with only the occasional barely whispered conversation and to Ryder's horror; he only realized he had fallen asleep when someone touched his arm and he startled awake, jumping what felt like three feet in the air. He blinked awake, finding himself looking at Marley's grinning face as he tried to calm himself down. "Come on, we're here!" she said before scooting over and out the open door to where Unique was standing.
He pushed himself away from the window, wincing slightly at the pain as he moved before opening his own door and stepping out to he look at the cabins in front of them as he said a quick prayer of thanks that he had obviously only been asleep for a few minutes as there hadn't been a repeat of last night's nightmares. He grabbed his bag and made his way over to where the others were standing in front of the two large cabins while Puck joined Mr. Schue, Mrs. Pillsbury, Quinn – no one seemed to understand how she'd been convinced to join them – and Finn for what Ryder assumed was a discussion of how they were dividing up students and chaperones.
"Dude, this is awesome!" Sam exclaimed as he high fived Blaine, "Best spring break ever!" he declared as Brittany bounced over to him with Sugar not far behind her. Joe was shooting interested looks at the cabins and the woods behind them while Artie seemed to be trying to use x-ray vision on the cabins, likely to determine which one was the handicap-accessible one that Mr. Schue had promised. Looking behind him, Ryder spotted Kitty, arms crossed and acting like it hadn't been her choice to join them and Tina who rolled her eyes at the other girl before heading towards Blaine and Sam.
Turning his attention back towards the group he was with, he spotted Marley taking Jake's hand and half-dragging the other boy towards Kitty, looking like she was determined to make the other girl enjoy herself. He stepped closer to his teammates as Unique fell into step beside him, "Unique hasn't been camping in years." She offered with a smile, "And something tells her this will be different then camping with her family." She added, clearly eying the rest of their group with an amused but wary eye and Ryder forced himself to give her a small smile, wondering when she had even decided to start speaking to him again.
"It'll be … interesting." He responded, knowing that putting New Directions together in potentially cramped quarters for a week had a definite potential for chaos. "I just hope nobody ends up fighting." He commented with a sigh. Fun chaos would be good, he was hoping for it to help get his mind off of things but he didn't think he was up for dealing with New Directions level arguments at the moments. He was pretty sure he'd end up escaping into the woods somewhere if they all started yelling.
Unique had just opened her mouth to respond when Ryder heard a clap and the whole group turned to face Mr. Schue, who was walking towards them with the rest of the chaperones. "Alright! Both cabins have four bedrooms, cabin one will have Mrs. Pillsbury and I chaperoning and cabin two will have Finn, Puck and Quinn. Sam and Blaine, Joe and Artie, and Tina, Brittany and Sugar – you'll each take a room in cabin one. Jake and Ryder, and Kitty, Marley and Unique – you'll take rooms in cabin two." Their teacher informed them happily before heading towards one of the cabins and motioning for his students to follow him.
"Come on guys, we're in this one." Finn stated happily and the sophomores made their way into the cabins they had been assigned. Once they stepped inside, Ryder glanced around, impressed with the large cabin and he wondered for a moment how they had managed to afford it before he remembered that Sugar had strangely been the one to suggest them. He spotted stairs and quickly headed up, praying that the rooms had two beds and sighed in relief when he saw that they did, quickly setting his bag down on one of the beds as he closed his eyes and hoped that he would be able to keep himself together for a week of sharing a room with the best friend who hadn't completely forgiven him yet.
Author's Note: I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update this! Cory's death really upset me and made it hard to think much about my Glee stories as I had planned for Finn to have a fairly big role in this (and he also has a big role in my Perfectverse) and in addition to that, I was working on transferring colleges which was about 10,000 times more complicated then it should have been. I'm not going to promise when anything will be updated, but I am going to work on getting more regular updates out for this and Unexpected and I'm working on my major writers block for Perfect Mess as well.
Review Responses:
Guest: Thank you!
Hunter-Drew: Thank you! I've definitely got plans for other characters getting involved and as Sam is my other favorite, he will very likely become important at some point here!
Imi: Here's your update! Sorry it took so long!
ryder-lover: You'll start to find out soon who it will be!