Day 7: Harry's first months and year. / Fidelius charm and death.
On the evening of the 31st of October Sirius Black entered Godric's Hollow disbelieving. Disbelieving in the words he heard from Dumbledore's Patronus, disbelieving his eyes when looking at the green mark above the yellow house in the middle of the street; and disbelieving his heart when his head couldn't yet process.
At first he ran, because he wanted to be of help if his worst fears were true, then he slowed down when he reached the front lawn trying to assess the situation.
The pumpkins that he and James put for decorations were glowing as creepy as they wanted to. Lily would've be mad because she didn't want to scare the neighbors to death; even if they were in hiding they need to seem normal.
Hell break loose when he saw the door ajar.
Sirius' mind went blank.
He pushed the white door with the Halloween decorations. The same door he always knocked with the random code he and James invented; it was a lame excuse because of the Fidelius charm; he always forgot and that always made James laugh and Lily smile at the old lame joke.
Please, they've had scape. Please, let them be alive. He prayed to a superior power, to anyone that might have listen.
Something squeaked at his feet. It was the plastic stag he got Harry when his teeth started growing.
"A stag? Seriously? You want my child to chew on the head of a stag?" James said when he saw the little toy.
"Yeah, Prongs. Is a father/son bonding experience," Sirius replied with a crocked smile.
Sirius left the toy alone and kept going; to his left he saw a small fire in the fireplace, which caught his eye and then moved to "Big Red".
James was laying on the couch while Sirius sat in the floor with his back on the furniture. Remus was reading on a near by seat and Peter wrote his last Potions essay.
"I'm gonna miss this couch," James said suddenly.
"Getting sentimental, Prongs?"
"I had my first kiss in here, Lily and I had our first kiss here!"
"I got more than one first on there to," said Sirius mischievously.
"Too much information, Pads," replied James.
"Sirius wasn't the only one," said Remus with a sly smile, creeping James.
"I didn't knew you had it in you," said solemnly Sirius.
"What are you talking about? Creeping James is s national sport," said the wolf.
"You gits,"
"You're right, James. There are too many memories attached to this sofa," agreed Sirius. And after that Gryffindor's Common Room missed one piece of furniture.
He moved to the kitchen, it all seemed so normal. James' late cup of tea was on the table, Harry's bottle next to it. If the house weren't envelope in a greenish light he would think they all went to sleep. Some part of him knew better.
How many times did he come late and Lily would scowl at him and start to make some tea, and then go to grab a bottle of Firewhiskey to offer both men; against her better judgment.
"So Pads, what brings you here at this ungodly hour?" James asked behind his round glasses, sitting in the kitchen table across Sirius.
"Marls is mad at me," Sirius said sheepishly.
"What to sleep on Big Red? He's always comprehensive,"
"Thanks, Prongs,"
"Oh, don't thank me yet, you have to run it by Lils,"
"Do I have to? She'll be on Marls side,"
"If you weren't my best friend, I'm sure I would be too,"
"Thanks for the support, Potter," said sarcastically.
"Any time, Black,"
The conversation was cut by a loud thud, both men got up and went upstairs quickly.
"Lils?" James called his wife, "Lily!?" he tried harder, searching the whole floor.
"Lily!" tried Sirius.
Both men reached the nursery, and saw the redhead kneeling on the floor, grabbing her big stomach and with a grimace on her face.
"Lily!" exclaimed the spectacled man. "Are you ok? What happened?" he kneeled besides her.
"… baby… coming… call… Marls…" she said through the pain.
James and Sirius exchange a look and the silver-eyed man ran to fetch Marlene.
Sirius had spent so much time in that table, especially on Harry's birth. He was asked to be Harry's father in that table, they discuss Quidditch, Remus's weird behavior, being their Fidelio, Sirius plans to ask Marls to marry him, the hopes for the end of the war; nothing and everything, all around that table.
When Sirius turned around to go for the stairs what was going through his mind was "doing a recall to see if there were any Death Eaters", when he saw the stairs, everything changed.
"We want for you to be our Fidelio," had said James, Lily besides him pleading.
James body was laying on half on the stairs half on the floor.
"I don't know, James, are you sure? Dumbledore would've…"
"No, Pads, I want it to be you, I trust you with my…" James corrected, "our life," he squeezed Lily's hand.
"We trust you," Lily said with a smile.
His glasses were crocked in a weird way, half over his forehead, half still on his ear.
"I'm the obvious choice, they'll come for me, I won't say anything, but it'll be wiser to choose someone else," Sirius offered.
"What about Remus?" Lily asked. Sirius and James exchange a look.
"No, not Remus," Sirius said finally, "Peter would be perfect, no one would suspect him,"
It looked so wrong, James's eyes without life looked so wrong. And it was entirely his fault; he had made the life scape James' eyes.
Sirius fell on his knees in front of his best friend, in front of his brother, not believing his eyes. James Potter couldn't be dead, the world didn't made sense without James Potter living, without his jokes, his lame puns, his love and loyalty for his friends and family. He didn't made sense without James. Padfoot didn't exist without Prongs. Without the Prongs that made them be Animagi for the sake of their werewolf friend.
Remus, he'd be so wrong about Remus, and pushed him away.
He centered his attention on James again, the broken posture, almost turn away to run upstairs but more like blocking the way. Sirius realize that he was trying to block the way to the bedrooms upstairs.
Lily.
Was all he thought before running upstairs, careful not to step on James. He had to help Lily, he had to safe her from his mistake. He had to.
When he arrived to the nursery he could hear Harry's cries, if that didn't alert the Death Eaters nothing would. He ran to his godson's cries and found a rather large man trying to calm the baby. The almost gigantic man turned to the new arrival.
"Oh, hullo Sirius," he said.
"Hagrid," Black said almost in a whisper. "Hagrid, give Harry to me,"
"Wow, Sirius clamed down," said the semi-giant.
Sirius then notice that he had his wand on his hand, he didn't know when he drew it out. He put it away.
"Give Harry to me," he said again, "I'm his godfather," that's has to mean something, he's all I have, please give him to me.
"Sorry, I have orders from Dumbledore, you understand right?"
"Yes… yes…" I won't see him again, I'm all alone, I understand. Is all my fault, if Peter… "Hagrid," he said to the leaving man.
"Yeah?"
"Take my bike, I won't need it, and is better than Apparition," he approach Hagrid, gave him the keys to the bike and kissed Harry on the forehead one last time.
Hagrid left him in the nursery; he looked around, it all seemed like the usual, toys on the floor, Harry blanked crawling from the cradle, and Lily… he just had time to notice Lily, left on the floor near the cradle like she wanted to reach sleeping Harry. How could anyone leave her like that?
Sirius approached her, cleared some of her falling hair out of her face, and kissed her on the forehead.
I'm sorry, he thought. Before carrying her downstairs, leaving her on Big Red. He then went to the stairs, fixed James' glasses and grabbed him. He saw some tears in James' cheeks and realized that they were his. He hugged him tightly before carrying him, placing him besides Lily.
"I'm sorry, Prongs," he said really quietly between sobs, "I was wrong, I was so wrong… Dumbledore is not letting me keep Harry… you were the only family I had… I'm so sorry," he cried out grabbing his best friend hand before adding, "but I'll make it better, I promise,"
With that he left the Potter house, leaving James next to Lily, where he belonged.
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