Author's Note: …I just realized how much of a stalker I made Seto Kaiba. Though in all honesty, in real life, he probably would be a stalker. :|

This is a… gift fic? Maybe? For Willowsnake? I don't know what it is. It's not a collaboration, I think, since I wrote it, but she gave me a lot of ideas. And she's hella excited for it.

Also, has anyone else ever noticed how much sex there is in mythology? I have. I mean, yes, there's a lot of innocent, non-sexual stuff, but… Look back in your mythology text books. SO. MUCH. SEX.

Updated (07-09-12): This chapter has been edited to fit the guidelines of the fanfiction site. The adult version can be found over on adultfanfiction under the same username. There's a link on my author's page.

Desk Duty

Joey sighed as someone cleared his throat in front of his desk and shuffled some of his papers aside. "Listen, my desk is closed, and I'll be leaving in a few minutes. I'm sure one of the other underlings can help yoooo…" He trailed off as he looked up and was met with familiar blue eyes narrowed at him in a glare. He looked the man up and down in confusion, then slammed his hands on his desk, standing in outrage as he roared, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

"You tell me," Seto replied, arms crossed over his chest. He eyed the blond's body up and down, raising an eyebrow as he took in the differences. Never, in his wildest dreams (and he'd had quite a few wild dreams), would he ever have imagined that Joey was a demon.

Though still tan, the blond's skin was now decorated suggestively with swirling black lines; the tattoo was relatively simple, just a few curved lines that traveled over his hips and swirled over his pelvis before dipping coyly beneath the hem of his leather pants. The pants themselves looked painted on, leaving little—if anything—to the imagination and exposing long, lean legs that Seto suddenly found enticing. A pair of small, leathery black wings flapped in agitation as the blond lifted his hand to scratch the tip of one of his horns.

"…Alright, gimme yer papers," Joey grumbled, sitting back down and snatching the papers out of the brunet's hands. "How'd ya die, anyway?"

"I think I was shot." Seto shrugged. "I couldn't really tell you because it happened so fa—"

"…You're s'posed t' be at the other office." The blond frowned, reading over his papers carefully. He reached over to grab a magnifying glass, quietly cursing the fine print that came along with souls that didn't work on a karma based system. Squinting one eye, he peered through the glass. "Says here that ya were shot. Your heart stopped, but they were able t' resuscitate ya, and your body's in a coma in the hospital. You're s'posed t' be in DOS."

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "DOS?"

Joey's sour expression in response to his question made him feel as if he'd just asked a stupid question. "The Department of Outgoing Souls. This is the DIS—Department of Incoming Souls."

"Listen, mutt, I just came where that idiot directing souls told me. He said to go this way, so I came, and I didn't really know it was you when I walked up to your desk," Seto explained defensively, glaring at him.

"Whatever. Since I know ya and I respect ya enough despite the fact that you're a total dick, I'll take care of this for ya," the blond replied, waving at the papers in front of him. "Ya have terrible timin', Kaiba. I was just about to clock out for the weekend."

"I'm so sorry my almost-death is putting you out, mutt." He frowned when the blond didn't rise to the bait again. That was really the only reason he called him names. "What, are you thinking so much that you're not even concentrating on what I'm saying enough to realize you're being insulted?"

"Oh, I hear ya alright," Joey sighed, placing a "Next Receptionist, Please" sign on top of his desk. "However, this is Hell. Hell is endothermic; it creates its fires and heat from the anger and hatred that demons either feel themselves or absorb from humans. I can't get pissed down here." He smiled wickedly as he walked around the desk, motioning for him to follow him. "Sorry, I guess you'll just hafta find a different way t' rile me up!"

Seto raised an eyebrow, then glanced down at the small of the demon's back, the two thick lines that were the base of his tattoo curving down to dip below his pants and—logically—meet each other just above his ass. "I can think of a way."

"Huh-? Gah!" The blond squealed in surprise as the human gave his ass a slap. Turning to face the brunet in surprise, he blushed when the older boy only smirked at him lewdly. "Oh, just—just come on!" he exclaimed in embarrassment, storming out of the room and cringing as he heard the laughter of various incoming souls and demons.

His wings pressed close to his back in embarrassment. He wasn't supposed to feel this sort of humiliation down here; this was where he was supposed to feel safe, where he couldn't be ridiculed or made fun of—where he was in power. Yes, he may have been low on the scale of power, but there were others even lower than he, and his position was at least respected by his peers. Unfortunately, he felt as if all of that respect was draining away.

All of his anger kept being sucked away, so he couldn't justify any lapse in control that would allow him to just… smack the other man. On top of that, he knew he'd be reprimanded for abusing a soul that would be returning to the human world, so he couldn't do anything to stick up for himself other than hiss and spit like an angry cat—at least until he was promoted to a level where other demons usually turned a blind eye. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

Shaking off his frustration, Joey motioned for the brunet to sit down in one of the chairs lined up against the wall, shrugging when the human shook his head to show he'd rather stand. He made his way over to one of the desks that wasn't as busy as the others. "Akio, I have a problem here."

"Oh, damn it, why do you always come to me?" the red-haired demon sighed, scowling, then snatched the papers out of the blond's hands. "What the hell is this?"

"Ehm, Kaiba is actually an outgoin' soul, but his papers have been stamped 'incomin'' even though the fine print—" The blond gritted his teeth momentarily. "—Clearly states that he's outgoing."

Akio snarled and put on his reading glasses, flames licking at his lips. "It's the fucking fine print! You'll notice this never happens with karma based souls!" He skimmed some of the lines, then sighed and glanced up at the blond. "This will take some time, but considering that he's outgoing instead of incoming, this should move fairly quickly. It will take a couple of days, tops."

"A couple days-! What the hell am I s'posed t' do with him? This wasn't covered in orientation!" Joey exclaimed in frustration.

The redhead shrugged carelessly. "Not my problem. You live in one of the employee boarding units, don't you?" he asked, looking up at him again. "Just let him stay with you. He doesn't look like too much trouble, other than he's giving off the hornies like whoa."

"The hornies?" The blond frowned in confusion. "Shouldn't that be absorbed-?"

"No. Anger and hatred are absorbed by hell. Arousal is not; if demons didn't have something to look forward to, they wouldn't want to work, and so we're allowed that pleasure. Now if you don't want to deal with his hornies, drop him off at a succy's door."

Seto glanced back and forth between them, feeling a step behind in the conversations. "What are… 'hornies,' exactly?"

Joey turned toward him and crossed his arms, scowling. "It means he can see your sexual arousal, stupid."

The brunet raised an eyebrow and glanced down at his pants. "Hmm?"

"…In your aura! The sexual arousal in your aura!" the demon exclaimed in embarrassment. "Gah! Why didja need t' look!"

"…I had to make sure."

Akio rolled his eyes and placed the papers he was holding in his 'urgent' box. "I'll make sure to take care of this as quickly as possible. But since I'm doing you a favor, I expect you to be my slave for as long as he's here."

The red-haired demon shuddered as he suddenly sensed a killing intent. Even as the intent was dulled by the powers of Hell sucking the anger away, he glanced up and locked gazes with the brunet. He saw a possessive anger that even some mated demons couldn't manage to convey when they saw their partners flirting with other people; it was an anger that, despite being absorbed by Hell, was replaced by more anger and hatred so quickly it could fuel the fires that tortured souls for years on end.

He felt he was truly going to die if he didn't get himself back into the brunet's good graces.

"And by my slave, I mean my runner. You'll deliver things for me and grab coffee for me and stuff like that."

Joey blinked at him in confusion. "…I know that. It's only like the millionth time."

Akio squeaked quietly as the anger that had been ebbing away was replaced with a jealous fury that nearly had him quaking in his seat. "W-well, you better get going. I have a lot of work to do and aren't you off duty anyway? You could get in trouble for doing this while off duty!"

The blond stared at him for a while, baffled by his superior's odd behavior, then shrugged, smacking the human's arm as he turned. "Come on. I'll show ya where you'll be stayin'."

Seto gave the redhead a long, deadly stare even as he turned to follow the blond. "Alright."

The demon couldn't help shrinking in his seat.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto gazed around the room he'd entered blandly; he wasn't used to such meager lodgings, but he supposed that it was an okay place to stay for a couple of days. And, as he saw the blond bend over to drag some extra blankets out from under a table behind the couch, he decided that sometimes, the view could be excellent.

It was a simple little place; there were only three rooms. The main room was both a bedroom and living room, with a couch that he saw could fold out into a bed of decent enough size that they could both fit comfortably. There was a small TV pressed up against the opposite wall, and between the two was a glass coffee table that would probably be pushed up beside the TV to make room for the bed.

He leaned around to glance into the kitchenette. It was small; really just a counter with a small stove and a microwave/confection oven on it. The cupboards had no doors, showing off different boxes and cans of food. There was a minifridge and a small dishwasher tucked beneath the counters, and at the corner where the counters curved was a sink that was really too small to do any dishes anyway. There was a small table set up with a couple of folding chairs.

Once his examination of the kitchenette was complete, he turned his attention to what he could only assume was the bathroom. Walking over to the third and final door, he raised an eyebrow as he glanced inside. "Whoa."

The bathroom was certainly more luxurious than the other two rooms combined. It had a large gothic tub on one side, its golden clawed feet curling into the tiles themselves. It appeared to have enough room for two people, as did the large shower on the other side of the room. It had several different faucets for water to come out of, and the temperature looked to go quite hot. There was no curtain; only a sheet of glass that served as a door, and he realized with a sudden feeling of malicious glee that if the blond chose to take a shower and kept the door open to let the steam out, he could get quite the eyeful of Naked Demon.

He was quite curious about that tattoo that dipped so coyly beneath his pants.

Of course, in the back, there was a toilet and a modest sink. He had to wonder about why the bathtub and shower were so nice while the rest of the little apartment (one out of identical hundreds, Joey had explained) was so meager and only served its basic purpose. He leaned back and glanced at the blond thoughtfully.

"Why are the shower and bathtub so nice compared to everything else?" Even the toilet and sink seemed out of place with the two cleaning implements.

Joey frowned as he sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. "Cleanliness is really important down here. I'm not high enough in rank t' torture people, but since ranks are mixed up for diversity in housin', all of the apartments hafta be the same. Torturers get a lot of blood all over themselves, and the stench of blood is just too much t' be on a demon all the time. We'd get sick." He glanced up at the brunet and frowned. "Besides, not all demons are the same. Some have tails, some have horns, some have wings, and some have different mixtures of the three. My wings are mini now, but when I wash 'em, I hafta let 'em grow t' their full size to clean 'em properly."

Seto sat down beside him, leaving a respectful distance between them as the blond already seemed wary of him and the apparent 'hornies' he was giving off. "That's not their real size?"

The blond snorted and looked back at the TV, rolling his eyes. "Of course not. If I'm not flyin', their real size gets in the way of things. I knock stuff over and generally make a mess, and I hear all the time about newbies that accidentally get their wings stuck in the shredder. Luckily, I've always paid attention t' the shredder, but I did almost get my tail cut off by a paper cutter once."

"Hmm. Glad your tail's okay." The brunet glanced down at the tail that had wrapped idly around its owner's thigh. "Do you always curl it around like that?"

"Yeah. It keeps it outta the way, and it's usually how I hide my tail when I'm chillin' at home in the human world."

Seto frowned. "Why do you live in the human world if you're a demon, anyway?"

Joey shrugged. "There are always demons in the human world. It was decided that I have a human compatibility rate over sixty percent, so I've been living with humans so I can be a go-between for the human world and demon world. The HDRD needs demons with human experience." He glanced at the brunet, then added, "Human-Demon Relations Department."

"Ah." The brunet quickly grew bored with the show on the screen (some horror show, as he watched the stereotypical Blonde Bimbo scream before she was stabbed to death), so he glanced around the room, frowning when his eyes landed on something leaned in the corner. "What is that?"

The demon turned to see what he was looking at, then snorted. "That's a spreader bar. Ya know, for sex." He waved vaguely at the ceiling above them, where a chain was hanging from a metal bracket bolted to the ceiling. "The demon that lived here before me was a succubus with a bondage kink. I just figured I'd keep it around in case I ever decide I wanna get lucky or somethin'."

Seto glanced at the TV again (some jock-like moron was being dismembered by a chainsaw), then turned his gaze back on the blond, allowing his imagination to run wild for a moment.

The idea of Joey hanging from that spreader bar, legs spread lewdly as he squirmed to be free, was surprisingly sexy. Especially when he also imagined a riding crop (his appreciation of which he blamed and damned his step-father for) striking across the lovely pale globes of his rump, leaving thin red welts in its wake.

Oh, God, he was a pervert. He was sort of ashamed of that fact sometimes, if only because when he'd voiced fantasies to past partners, they'd been uncomfortable, and soon after the relationships had terminated.

Whether they'd ended because of his perversions or because he'd realized that everyone he seemed to choose was a money-grubbing whore was still under debate between Mokuba and Roland.

"…So… can you see my arousal?" Seto asked thoughtfully.

"No. I've been taught about the auras of people in their bodies; you're just your spirit down here, so your aura moves a lot more and I haven't had enough experience readin' the auras of souls. Besides, all I hafta do is stamp 'received' and direct souls t' the right room t' wait for someone t' come lead 'em t' their respective pit." Joey scowled and crossed his arms. "For the love of Pete! What sort of moron goes into the basement after their friends have been killed! Run the fuck outta the house!"

The brunet watched blood splatter onto the screen and raised an eyebrow, then turned his gaze on the demon again. "…So do you have sex often?"

"No, I said if I ever decided I wanted t' get laid. All the other demons think I'm too scrawny or too low on the peckin' order t' sleep with. If I wanna get laid, I'm stuck with humans or demons even lower than me. Honestly, I don't care as much as you seem to. I don't get what all the hype's about. I had sex once and it was terrible."

Seto pointedly ignored the pang of disappointment that his puppy wasn't a virgin. "Oh?"

"Yeah. She didn't like it and I didn't like it and we both agreed not t' speak of it ever again."

Hmm. Not girl-virgin anymore, but still man-virgin. He could deal with that.

Joey narrowed his eyes as he watched blood splatter everywhere. "Dumbass." Clicking the TV off, he muffled a yawn, then glanced at the brunet tiredly. "Listen, I was honest when I said I was clockin' out. I was workin' overtime t' take care of someone's shift. D'ya mind if I turn in?" He glanced at the TV and frowned. "You can watch TV if ya wanna, as long as it's turned low. 'nd… I don't have an extra futon, and the sofa-bed's big enough…" He scratched his cheek nervously and blushed.

Seto did some quick calculations. He could always have his way with the blond while he slept and feel like a complete jerk afterward, or he could cop a feel while he was pretending to sleep under the guise of a being sleep-cuddler and feel like a mastermind instead of a horrible pervert!

The decision was obvious. "…I've found today very tiring. Do you mind if I just go to sleep right now?"

The blond frowned thoughtfully, scratching the back of his head. Well, Seto had died recently (and being resuscitated would be even more tiring), and then found out he'd been given all the wrong directions. Not to mention he was stuck down in Hell until everything was straightened out. He realized that that might be tiring.

"…Nah, I guess not. I snore, though." Joey stood and casually yanked the human off the couch, tossing him to the side, then began removing cushions and pulling out the mattress.

Seto was almost offended, but when he saw the blond bend over to begin tucking in the blankets beneath the mattress, any ire he felt faded. 'Oh God I hope I don't get a nosebleed.'

The demon's pants were so tight that they seemed like a second skin. That gave him the perfect view of the soft round cheeks of what looked like a nice, firm rump. …Could a butt be both firm and soft? Was that possible? He'd felt it give beneath his hand, but he couldn't imagine someone as active as Joey having flab in that particular area. His stomach might get flabby, certainly, but not his butt.

What was this? …He loved how tight the blond's pants were. He especially loved that they were leather, showing off every dip and curve.

Because it also showed that the demon was not wearing any underpants.

"I've only got one pillow. You can have it if ya want, Kaiba." Joey tossed the pillow onto the bed and sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration. "Gah. I gotta grab a shower first; I feel grimy. Go ahead and sleep, Kaiba. I'll be sure t' be as quiet as I can when I come t' bed."

Seto had the fleeting urge to say, 'you can do more than come to bed,' but he decided the blond wouldn't appreciate his come-on, so he just nodded and crawled beneath the blankets. "Alright." He listened to the blond go into the bathroom, only mildly disappointed when he heard the door shut, then let his eyes drift closed.

The pillow smelled like Joey. He moaned quietly, taking a deep whiff of the blond's scent from the pillow. It smelled like his soap, rose sandalwood, sweet and musky. It was called Sensual Amber. He knew that, because he'd searched for days to find that exact same scent, spending so many hours in Bed, Bath, and Beyond; Bath & Body Works; and various perfume departments that he'd felt he'd had a never-ending migraine during his entire search.

He had succeeded in finally putting a name on the blond's scent, however, and he was quite proud of that. He'd bought a few bottles, and had even gone so far as to dab a little of the perfume (not cologne, perfume) onto a little stuffed dog that he'd sleep with.

…Good God, maybe that was why his relationships never lasted.

Seto sighed and couldn't help but relax as he continued to breathe in the alluring scent, all of his stiff muscles slowly unclenching from the stressful ordeal as he listened to the pitter patter of water hitting tiles and the soft hum of whatever tune the blond was making in the shower. It was so soothing, so calm… He almost… couldn't keep his eyes open…

Well, until he heard the water stop. Then, he forced himself to stay relaxed, keeping his eyes shut so that he looked, for all intents and purposes, like someone that was dead asleep.

When he felt the blond slowly crawl into bed, he stayed still for a few minutes, solidifying the image of a person that was sleeping. After a little while, though, he let out a quiet groan and moved closer, groping blindly until his fingers closed on loose fabric. He held it tightly, then began tugging on it every few minutes.

Joey blushed and reached up to grab his hand, trying to loosen the grip, but after a few tries, he had to give up; Seto was holding his shirt too tightly. He squeaked as the brunet mumbled something and squirmed closer to him, blushing even more as the human pressed up against him.

He felt… hard. Not uncomfortably hard, like he was rigid, but hard as in muscular. He was warm, too. And comfy. So comfy to curl up against, tail sliding around the brunet's thigh (also muscular; he very much liked muscular people) as he laid his head on the older boy's bare chest, he felt he could sleep forever, feeling safe and protected and—

"Eep!" Joey clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from squeaking again as the brunet grumbled something, hips trembling a little with the want to move away. It was great that Seto was a sleep-snuggler; he didn't really mind that.

He just minded the hand squeezing his ass!

"…K-Kaiba…" He kept his voice soft so he wouldn't wake him up. "Kaiba, lemme go…!" He squirmed helplessly when the older boy only grunted and held him tighter. "Kaiba…! S-Seto! Please, this is embarrass—Ing!" He froze as he felt something hard brush his hip; it hadn't been there before, but…

Oh, damn! He knew that Seto had the hornies, but really? Getting a boner in his sleep? How fucking mortifying!

For him, anyway; Seto didn't really seem to care, sleeping as he was. Hell, he probably wouldn't care even if he was awake. He'd probably just say, "Yeah, so?" Stupid Kaiba and his stupid confidence.

Joey blushed again and squeezed his eyes shut, slowly edging his hips away. He couldn't really do anything about the grip around his back or the hand on his butt, but he wasn't going to sleep pressed up against an erection!

.-.-.-.-.-.

"I'm leavin' this guy with you!" Joey exclaimed, shoving the human he'd been watching into his friend's room. "Gotta go take care of his paperwork! Byyyyyeeeeeeee!"

Seto turned to watch him scamper away, unable to help a smirk. He'd heard the blond whimper and mew last night, once he'd gotten over being held against him (and his erection, which he actually hadn't meant to get, but hadn't complained when all the demon did was squeak and squirm).

"…Sir, I'm an incubus, and your sexual arousal isn't really doing me any good. Could you at least try to rein it in a little?"

The brunet turned to look at the person he'd been left with, raising an eyebrow when he realized that it looked a lot like Duke, but with short hair and no stupid dangly earrings. He was larger and more muscular, too, looking more like a demon than a fairy (which was how he thought of Duke; as a puppy-stealing, dice-throwing fairy). Oh, and the horns that stuck up out of his inky hair confirmed that Duke was not a demon in disguise; Duke was very conscious of his appearance, and he would never be able to pull off those horns.

"…" The demon raised an eyebrow. "What's that look for?"

"…You look like someone I know. Except less like a fairy and more like a demon," Seto explained.

The demon snorted and rolled his eyes. "I get that a lot." He motioned toward the couch (Seto noted with distaste that it was of better quality than Joey's, and he couldn't help but think that Joey deserved a better bed/sofa). "And don't give my couch that look. I've offered to trade with Joey, and he says he doesn't want any other sofa because his is comfortable," the demon stated, rolling his eyes again with just a touch of annoyance. "Honestly, that kid's gonna be pissed when he finds out management has taken his couch and replaced it. I swear, he'll just go rescue it from the dumpster again."

…Joey was a complex person. And by complex, Seto meant stupid.

Flopping down onto the chair, the demon sighed. "You can call me Dia. I'm going to assume that by the way your arousal fizzled out as soon as Joey got out of sight, he's the one you're panting for."

"You're correct in your assumption, but why is that any of your business?" Seto asked, narrowing his eyes at him.

Dia shrugged. "Because he wants to get laid, he's just too afraid to ask anyone after Hatoko spread the rumor that he was terrible in bed. Of course, lots of succubae and incubi would love to teach him, but the first time anyone offered, he got so angry and embarrassed that he actually blew up his desk before his anger could be absorbed." The demon sighed, shrugging helplessly. "He's aroused often, but everyone pretends not to notice because Hatoko hurt him so badly."

The brunet growled quietly. "And who is Hatoko?"

"She's been demoted to the lowest rank possible and has no hope of promotion for ten centuries," the demon replied, looking down at his nails. "Demons are sexual by nature, and it's not healthy for Joey to be smothering his desire. He doesn't even masturbate. I know, because I was ordered to observe him after the whole shebang. Those first few months, every time he got horny, he'd just go into the bathroom and stare into the mirror; he's so disgusted by himself that if he just glances in the mirror, he loses any desire he had. He's not confident enough sexually to even touch himself."

Seto couldn't help the rage he was feeling. Joey had said that he and his one-time partner had agreed never to speak of it again; he'd deliberately lied to him! Yes, he may have insulted Joey all the time, but he'd never done anything so cruel to make him think that he'd make fun of him for being bad at sex his first time!

Dia watched the brunet's aura fluctuate violently, eyebrow raised as the anger that was sucked away was immediately replaced. "…You'd make a good candidate for RID. You'd probably end up in the higher ranks, too."

"The are-eye-who?"

"RID. The Reincarnation Into Demonhood. If a human shows the right capacity for anything demonic, he can be reincarnated into a demon. Your anger could win you demonhood, sir." The demon shrugged when all he received was a dismissive snort. "I'm just saying. Now, little human."

Seto couldn't help a startled grunt as a hand on his throat slammed him against the wall. He hadn't even seen the other man move! "Gch-!"

"You are attracted to him. And, for whatever reason, he is attracted to you." The demon snarled and flashed his sharp teeth, his green eyes turning a disturbingly dark black. "I assume it has something to do with his inferiority complex, but either way, you have the chance to make him see that he's not helping himself by ignoring his desire. You can make him see just how good sex can be for him, and you will do it, or else I'll see to it that Joey is transferred to a different country to complete his Human Association hours and you'll never see him again."

Just as abruptly as he'd been slammed against the wall, he was released. He slid down the wall to the floor, breathless, startled, and confused. All he could do was cough and stare up at the demon in confusion. "Huh?"

The incubus walked over to a chest in the corner. "He's got a spreader bar in his room. Use that—preferably with the chain there. He won't be able to struggle as much. …And here are some cuffs to restrain his hands. Buckle them to his wings; they may look frail, but they're actually very sturdy." The demon turned to look at him intensely, determining something in his mind, before he ducked back into the chest. "I've got a riding crop in here somewhere. –Don't be surprised that I know your fantasies! I'm a high-ranked incubus; I can tell just by looking at you!"

Seto blinked as the cuffs—attached to thick belt straps by a short chain—and a riding crop were tossed to land in front of him. "…You're… ordering me to have sex with him?"

"He wants sex, he's just too afraid to have it, so get him past that stupid fear and do him." Dia stood up straight, eyeing the two bottles in his hands thoughtfully, then turned and strode over to the human swiftly. He held up the smaller bottle filled with a liquid such a dark purple that it was almost black. "He's going to come back from running errands for Akio and he's going to be thirsty, because the mess hall doesn't serve many liquids; the heat from Hell and the cooking stoves makes them boil away.

"The employee housing is kept cooler, and the water is especially clean so it's good for both bathing and drinking. Preferably not at the same time. You're going to be waiting at the door with a glass of cranberry juice—which, by the way, he loves to pieces. You're going to put exactly three drops of this liquid into that juice. Joey will have time to walk over to the couch before the tranquilizer hits him. You will have approximately fifteen minutes to set everything up.

"Joey will wake up angry and confused, but the aphrodisiac is going to muddle his thoughts. That'll give you a chance to kiss him until he realizes that you're not just doing it for kicks and are honestly attracted to him. Now, expect him to say 'no.' He'll be too afraid that you'll be disappointed in him after you both finish to even try to have sex. Do not take 'no' for an answer. He wants it; he's always wanted it. You just have to show him that it's okay not to be a sex god his first time."

Seto blinked again. "…But… I've had sex before."

"Good. Show him what you can teach him. He doesn't necessarily have to be good for you to show him that you are good." Dia held up the other bottle. "This is lube, of course; you're going to need it. I can't imagine that he'll have touched himself back there. Now, it's a special lube for virgins made especially for demon males. It has a muscle relaxant in it, along with various healing herbs." He paused, then added, "The muscle relaxant lasts until just after initial insertion. You may feel a tingle, but only for a moment. Prepare him while he's still knocked out, if you can."

It was still hard for him to grasp, but… he didn't exactly mind what he was being ordered to do. "…Can I have a cock ring too?"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Hey. You."

Seto sat up immediately, even before his mind fully registered what it had heard. After a moment, he grunted and rubbed his eyes. "What?"

Akio scowled. "We've gotten your paperwork fixed up. Your board members are trying to take advantage of your brother. While we have a special ring of hell specifically for unsavory businessmen, the higher ups wanna see you unleash your fury on them, to judge whether you'd be good demon material."

The brunet felt his anger flair for a minute, but then he heard a quiet hum and felt something snuggle up to his side. Looking down, he frowned when he saw the blond pressed against him. "…What about Joey?"

"What about him? I'm not giving you a choice. Don't worry, he'll probably scratch me up good." The redhead snorted in disgust. "Now that you've given him a taste of how good sex can be, I'm sure he'll be pissed when he realizes I'm the reason that you're gone. Come on. Hurry up. The longer you're aware from him, the more desperate he'll be to release some more of his sexual frustration on you. Hurry up!"

"I'm hurrying, damn it! His tail won't let me go!"

"Gah! Stupid demons with tails!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto blinked his eyes open slowly, feeling tired and weak. But when he saw his brother's anxious face, he had to smile. "Hey, Mokie."

"Hi, Seto," Mokuba whispered, tears of relief filling his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." The brunet let his eyes drift closed for a moment. "But I had the most wonderful dream…"

"WHATTA YA MEAN YA SENT HIM BACK! I WAS GONNA TAKE THAT STUPID RIDIN' CROP TO HIS FACE! DO YA KNOW HOW MUCH MY ASS HURTS? DIA? DIA! DON'T YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME! DIAAAAAAAAAA!"

Seto frowned. "Did you hear that?"

Mokuba raised an eyebrow. "Hear what?" He blinked as he felt the floor rumble beneath his feet. "Whoa. We haven't had a tremor that strong for quite some time."

The brunet sighed. He wanted to believe it was just a dream, but… as he felt another slight tremor, he realized that may not have been.

Joey had probably done more than just blown up his desk this time.