Author's Note: Yes. Play on words, just for the lulz. Hope you enjoy it. If not, well… I thought it was cute. :|

Updated (07-13-12): This chapter has been edited to fit the guidelines of the fanfiction site. The adult version can be found over on adultfanfiction under the same username. There's a link on my author's page.

Horny

Seto grunted as he felt fingers trailing over his horn, then sat up abruptly, snatching the perpetrator's wrist as he tried to pull away. He snarled immediately, slamming the human up against the wall. "What do you want!"

The blond squirmed, eyes wide with terror. "Please, I wasn't gonna hurt ya or anything!"

"Why were you touching my horns?" Seto hissed, glaring at him.

"I-I was told I needed—"

"—That you needed an ice demon's horn and hell, I have two of them, so I shouldn't miss one!" the brunet snarled, using one hand to hold the human's wrists tightly as he slammed his fist into the wall. The stone shattered beneath his hand.

The human trembled and bit his bottom lip. "Please-! I didn't mean t' make ya mad! I—"

Seto snatched the serrated blade at the blond's hip from its sheath, holding it up in front of his face. "You were going to try sawing it off with this, weren't you? This flimsy little blade!" He narrowed his eyes and scraped the teeth of the knife over his horn.

The younger boy gasped as the tip of the knife broke off at the force of the stroke. "Oh gods-!"

"You foolish little human. Damn it—You're not even the first one!" The brunet glowered at him for a few moments before using a touch of his power to cause a chunk of ice to pin the human's hands to the wall, leaving his feet dangling at least six inches above the floor of the cave that was his den. He took a step back and hissed again. "Foolish humans."

The blond yelped as he slammed his fist into the wall on his other side, flinching away from the shards of rock that hit his body. "Ah!"

"Tell me what your name is so I can send word to your village." The demon growled lowly. "That another one of their pathetic warriors has fallen at my hands." He reached out to lightly grip the blond's side, leering at him wickedly. "I'm sure you'll be incredibly tender when I eat you if I just roast you a little bit."

"I'm not a warrior—please—they don't even know I've left! Ahn!" He flinched as the knife was lifted to his face. "No!"

Seto glared at him again. "Tell me. Your name."

"Joseph Wheeler! Ngh-! Everyone calls me Joey-!" the blond exclaimed. He bleated weakly as the knife hooked in his shirt and ripped downward, shivering as the scraps of ripped cloth fluttered to the ground. "'m sorry! 'm sorry! Please don't-!"

The demon roared and slammed the knife into the ice he'd covered the blond's hands with, just barely missing his fingers with the sharp blade. "Why the hell do you all want my horns? Why do you keep coming and trying to saw them off or break them—or even file them fucking down! What do you want with my horns, you little tramp!"

Joey flinched at the loud roar in his face, then bowed his head and whimpered. "T-the witches! They said we needed one of your horns to be able to cure everyone-!"

Seto narrowed his eyes and growled. "…Witches?" He grabbed the blond's chin to hold his head still and leaned in, burying his face in his throat. He took a deep breath of the human's scent, then slid down his chest, inhaling deeply.

He rumbled loudly as he recognized some of the scents lingering on him, eyes flying open as he let out a furious roar and punched the wall again. The blond whimpered anxiously. "Ah-!"

"Damn it! They'll do everything they can to make my life miserable, won't they?" the brunet hissed to himself, then turned his gaze on the human's frightened brown eyes. "What's this about a cure?"

Joey bit his bottom lip and trembled a little as the demon's sharp nails scratched over his sides. "I-I… There's a fever that's goin' around. People keep dyin'." Nervous tears filled his eyes as the brunet rumbled quietly. "The witches came along and said they'd seen the illness before. Said they needed the horn of an ice demon t' be able t' brew the medicine." He gasped as the demon's growl grew louder and squeezed his eyes shut, turning his gaze away quickly. "Nn!"

"And you were obviously the best choice for getting it," Seto hissed. "A scrawny little nothing of a human. Were you honestly the best they had?"

"I told ya-! They didn't even know I left!" The blond whimpered again. "I didn't even care, until Serenity got sick! I just won't let her die without doin' all I can!" He looked up at the demon pleadingly. "I was only gonna take the tip of your horn. Just enough t' help her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

The demon rumbled loudly, glaring at him even harder, then huffed. "And who is Serenity? Your lover?"

Joey shot him a glare of his own. "My little sister. Jerk. I'd do anything for her—not that you'd know anything about that!" He gasped as the brunet slammed his fist into the wall next to his head, flinching as some shards of rock flicked against his face. "Ngh!"

"Do you think demons just drop out of the sky? Pop out of the ground? I had parents, too—which means that I also have a little brother." Seto narrowed his eyes and rumbled quietly in annoyance. "One that I would slaughter thousands of humans for if it would keep him safe."

"So ya see why I had t' come out here?" A tear rolled down the blond's cheek, and he cursed himself for it. "She's dyin'. I'm gonna lose her!"

The demon snorted and took a step back. "So? Why should that move me? I'm still going to kill you and eat you and you're still not going to get my horn."

"Bastard! I just-!" Joey sobbed helplessly. "…I just wanted t' help my sister."

"I don't care." The brunet turned his back on him and went to go lie down on his bed, sighing as the bird down gave beneath his weight. "I'll eat you later."

"…Asshole," the human muttered, trying to struggle against the magical ice a little, then fell still.

Sighing quietly, he squirmed in discomfort before quieting again. He would probably be there for a while.

Seeing that he wasn't going anywhere, he took a few moments to inspect his captor. If it hadn't been for the white, ribbed tail and the thick white horns jutting from just behind his temples and circling to arch down to a point at his neck like some sort of twisted crown, he would have mistaken him for a human. Then again, he was an elemental demon, not a bestial one, so maybe that was why…

…He didn't want to be eaten. He looked up at the ice covering his hands and swallowed thickly as he saw the knife still embedded in it. Well, as long he was killed quickly and didn't suffer, he supposed he sort of deserved it. He had been planning on sawing off and stealing the brunet's horn.

This was boring. He couldn't move. All he could do was wiggle to amuse himself. And his hands were cold. They were starting to go numb. It was uncomfortable. How was he supposed to—

Seto stood abruptly and stomped over to him with a hiss. "You're so annoying!"

Joey squeaked as the brunet grabbed his head. "Agh!"

The demon knocked the blond's skull against the wall, grunting in approval as he fell limp. "Gods. You're loud even when you're not talking." He tilted his head as he examined the little human, then sighed, scowling.

He had a little sister. A little sister that was sick, that he'd risked his life to rescue. A little sister that would never know what happened to her brother, if this fever was what he thought it to be.

These witches would stop at nothing to get his horns. He knew they'd continue cursing village after village, trying to get them to do their dirty work and steal his horns from his cold, dead body. He also knew that the humans would come to hate him for killing the ones that came after his horns, even if he was only protecting himself.

Well, it would be best to nip this in the bud before it got out of hand.

Cupping the blond's cheek, he frowned. He'd only done his duty as an older brother. He'd tried to protect her, and what had he gotten for his troubles?

…Knocked out against a cave wall, that's what.

Seto sighed through his nose and rolled his eyes, disgusted with his own sympathy. "I really am going soft."

Reaching up, he crushed the ice around the blond's hands and caught him as he fell. He lifted a hand to stroke his fingers over the lump forming from the injury he'd inflicted. Using a little ice to ease the pain that he would feel when he woke, he carried the human over to his bed and set him down gently, tucking him in as if he was a small child. He was really going soft. If the other demons could see him now…

Seto paused to ruffle the human's hair, unable to help a chuckle as the blond mewed in approval. "Though I suppose the humans would laugh if they saw you now, too, coddled by a demon."

He tucked the blond's hair behind his ear before standing and snatching a scrap of his shirt up, then strode swiftly from his den. He paused outside and turned, waving his hand to twist the rock formation closed, keeping both his belongings and the blond safe from prying, selfish, malicious creatures that would just love to steal his gold and jewels and make off with the tasty morsel of a human in his bed.

Moments later, he heard the inquisitive squeals of his pets. He turned and reached out to pet one of the white dragons gently. "Hello. Yes, yes, I'm glad to see you too." He pet the other two and sighed, then tossed the scrap of cloth. "Smell that."

The three dragons sniffed the cloth curiously. They turned their gazes to him afterward, shuffling toward the cave in confusion.

Seto sighed. "No, not the human's scent. Under the human's scent. Sorry, I should have told you that in the first place. You'll recognize the scents," he added as the dragons smelled the cloth again. "Some witches." He smiled as the dragons let out angry squeals. "Yes, the witches. You're allowed to eat them this time." His face twisted into a snarl. "In fact, make sure you eat them. Don't come back until you find each witch you smelled on that fabric and kill them."

The dragons squealed and shuffled away so they could spread their wings. The brunet watched them fly off, then frowned. Time to go frighten the humans…

.-.-.-.-.-.

Seto vaguely heard screeching in the distance. He assumed it was the witches, who had probably sensed the dragons approaching and tried to escape. Glancing around at the humans staring at him in awe, he scowled, lip curling up in a disgusted sneer. "Which one of you is the healer?"

Mothers began ushering their children inside, and fathers grabbed pitchforks or shovels. The humans were suddenly in motion after being stunned into silence by his appearance.

The brunet huffed in annoyance. He was quite prepared to snap each and every attacker's neck. However, he was thankful when a girl stepped out of the crowd. "You're a bit young to be a healer, aren't you?"

She jutted her chin out bravely. "My mother is the healer here. What business do you have with her? She's busy tending to the ill."

"I want to speak with her." Seto dipped his head to glare at her. "I don't appreciate waiting. However, if you humans don't want help in creating the cure to this plague, I have no problem leaving every one of you here to die."

The girl gasped in surprise as the air cooled around them, making their breaths visible in short puffs of fog. Looking up at the brunet in shock, she hesitated before nodding and motioning for him to follow her. "This way."

Following the girl to one of the small houses, he raised an eyebrow when she paused outside the door. However, he realized she would not want to get sick either, so he walked past her into the house, nearly bowling over the plump woman that had been passing between the entryway and another room. He caught the bowl she'd dropped in surprise, then turned his gaze back on her worn, tired face.

The woman sighed and took the bowl when he offered it back to her. "Thank you."

Seto wondered if she'd missed that he was a demon because of exhaustion, or if she just didn't care. "You're the healer?"

"So I've been told, though I haven't been doing much healing at all," she muttered bitterly. "Just easing the pain of the dying, lately."

The brunet tilted his head and eyed her skeptically. After deciding she at least looked trustworthy, he lifted his hand and, grasping his horn, snapped it off cleanly. "I trust you'll find a use for this."

The woman gasped as he placed it in her hand. "You can't really mean to just give this to us-! So many other villages have sent warriors to get this, and—"

"I prefer not to get humans hating me too much," Seto cut in. "But I need you to swear upon your life that you will treat Serenity Wheeler with the medicine first."

She frowned. "She's still alive? I thought she'd passed on—that that's why Joey hadn't called for me lately—"

"Her brother has sacrificed himself for the sake of your village," the brunet stated curtly. He wondered when he'd made that decision. "I think it only right that his sister be the first one healed."

The healer gasped again. "That poor boy gave his life-!"

Seto did not correct her, because he was suddenly quite certain that Joey would be spending the remainder of his life with him. "He should not have startled me."

At this, she didn't know whether to be happy or sad. So, she simply stared, until the demon turned and walked away without another word.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey moaned as he felt a cool hand gently rubbing the lump on the back of his head, grimacing as he tried to squirm away. "That hurts…"

"I can't heal you if you keep pulling away," Seto stated curtly. "It's going to hurt, yes. But would you rather deal with the pain a few minutes, or would you rather deal with it for a few days?"

The human mewled in complaint as the brunet's fingers brushed the throbbing wound on the back of his head, squeezing his eyes shut as the world around him began to spin. "Ugh…"

"If you feel nauseous, don't throw up on me," the brunet added, scowling. "That would be disgusting and I would not be pleased."

"Hng… Hate you…" Joey whimpered as the throbbing became a dull tingle that sent cold shivers down his spine. "I don't like this-!"

"You know what? I don't care." Seto frowned as he felt the lump shrinking and slid his other hand down to give the blond's arm a soft squeeze. "I'm almost finished, anyway."

"Ngh… So cold…" The human trembled a little, feeling cold all over. "Hnn…" He tried to think of warm things, like bonfires and thick blankets, and it helped a little. The cold didn't seem so bad. It was almost tolerable. "Ah… Ahn…"

Seeing the boy's mouth falling open, the brunet raised an eyebrow, unable to help his tail twitching in agitation as he saw the pink tongue lick at his lips. Without thinking, he slipped two fingers into the blond's mouth. He was unable to suppress the surprising shudder of pleasure up his spine.

The human's mouth was so hot. He wanted nothing more than to feel more of that heat, to have the warm saliva coating other, more intimate parts of his body. He wanted to push his slick fingers into the blond and stretch him. He wanted to spread the younger boy's legs and violate him the nastiest way he knew how—hard and fast and rough, and then he'd fuck him with his tail until he begged for him to stop—

Hmm. Perhaps this was why he'd suddenly decided he was keeping the scrawny human. He was beginning his rut period and his body had found its preferred submissive partner. He rumbled quietly. He didn't like the thought of raping anyone, but he knew that as time passed and he went further into rut, he'd be less likely to accept 'no' for an answer and would have no qualms throwing the blond's legs open and sating himself with him.

He could only hope the pheromones he gave off would affect the blond like they affected other demons and that the blond would be induced into consensual sex. If he thought back, he realized he must have been releasing those pheromones for quite some time now, and perhaps that was why the human had hesitated in trying to take his horns.

If that was the case, it meant that the little blond could very well be already experiencing the effects of the pheromones. It would explain why he hadn't bit down on the fingers in his mouth, or why he was staring up at him with eyes glazed—still with pain, but now there was something else as he finished healing the boy's head.

Joey blinked up at him slowly, blushing a little as he rolled his tongue around the fingers in his mouth curiously. He squeaked in surprise as the claw-tipped fingers caught his tongue, then let his eyes flutter shut, breath coming a little harder.

Something smelled sweet, almost sickening in its sugary quality. He felt warm, now, and growing still warmer despite the cool fingers in his mouth. Squirming, he gasped quietly as the brunet withdrew his fingers, unable to help a whimper as the demon dipped his head to crush his mouth. "Nn!"

Seto moaned. The blond's mouth felt hotter on his tongue than it had on his fingers. He wanted to rip his pants off and fuck him silly just from feeling the warm tongue squirming against his own. Breaking the kiss, he sat up and growled, pawing at the cloth covering the human's legs.

Joey gasped and squirmed helplessly, cheeks flushing as the demon's claws grabbed the hem of his pants. "No, wait—" He bleated in surprise as his pants were torn from his body, shaking as the cloth was tossed aside. "Please—please, wait—"

The brunet growled again, grasping the human's knees and pulling them apart quickly. "Wait for what? You're mine."

"Please don't kill me, I—Ha!" The younger boy squeaked in surprise as the demon grabbed his hair and jerked his head forward, shoving his face into his crotch. "Ah-! Nn!" He whimpered again when he realized that he wasn't going to be killed—It was comforting to know he wasn't going to die, even if what he realized was going to happen frightened him a little.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Joey whimpered as the brunet released him and fell forward onto the bed, shivering. "Nngh…" He mewed as he was rolled onto his back and blinked up at the demon slowly. "…Your…"

The brunet raised his eyebrows inquisitively as he settled himself beside him, pulling the human's warm body up against his cool one. He hadn't realized that humans could be more sensitive to his pheromones than other demons, but as he glanced around his cave, he realized that there was nowhere for his pheromones to go but through the blond at this point. He'd have to open up his cave a little, once the blond was asleep.

But only once he was asleep. He didn't want to give the human a chance to escape, despite how doped up he might be with his pheromones. "Hmm? My what?"

"…Your horn…" Joey touched the stub that had once been a magnificent horn. "It's gone…"

"I broke it off," Seto replied, reaching up to cover the blond's hand with his own.

The human blinked slowly; he was going to pass out soon from the heat of the room and the sweet scent. "Oh. …Did it hurt?"

The brunet hummed quietly, wondering if he should tell the truth, then decided it didn't matter. "…A little."

"Oh." Joey blinked up at him a little longer, then sat up and brushed his lips over the stub of his horn. "I'm sorry."

Seto blinked as the blond's head fell back to the bed, eyes fluttering closed, then sat up a little. He touched the remnants of his horn in confusion. It had felt warm, but the human's lips had only been there for a few scant seconds. And that warmth was radiating from the stub of his horn through his head, down his body to come to a rest in his chest.

Strange. This heat was different. The warmth stayed with him for quite some time afterward.