Thanks to everyone who reviewed my first chapter. Reading your reviews made me come up with this one. Sorry if it isn't as funny as the last one. It's much easier to write funny commentary when I'm writing as Monk-san. Please enjoy!
"Where's my book?" muttered Ayako-san as she rifled through the drawers on her desk. Then a thought struck her. That stupid hippy Monk. He must have taken it. Again. With a horrible scowl, she stalked over to his desk. At first sight, she almost considered going out and buying a new one.
Monk-san's desk was a legend in the office. It was a heap of files, newspapers, loose papers, candy wrappers and semi-organic matter. The theory was that Naru never said anything because he wanted to see if Monk-san's pile would evolve into a supernatural phenomenon of it's own accord. Monk-san said that the pile was his attempt at becoming a Jenga master but Ayako-san put it down to Monk-san being a slob.
She sat down on his chair with a sigh of despair and stared at the pile. She sat back and wondered how she could disturb the pile without causing an avalanche. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by sound of voices coming through from the wall behind her.
"Don't do that," said a female voice.
"Seriously, what did you expect when you called me in here? We both knew what was going to happen," answered a male.
Wasn't that Naru's room? That was definitely Mai but that wasn't Naru. Her eyes grew wide. That's Monk-san! What are they doing alone in Naru's room? Making the moves on poor innocent Mai. She was too young for him. He needed someone older, more mature. Someone he could *ahem* play doctor with. No, let's not get sidetracked here. Focus!
"What are you doing? Wait! Wait! Not there!" Mai ended with a soft moan.
"Oops."
Ayako-san fingers curled tightly around the arm of the chair. What did he do?! Where was there?! That seedy little wretch! Preying on innocent flowers like Mai. Should she do something? And to think he flirted with her.
"You know I didn't get this back in the monastery."
"That's no excuse. Wait, no! Don't lick it!"
"I have to lick it! First contact has been made. It. Must. Be. Licked."
"Fine, then. Go ahead."
Go ahead? That minx. Why must she take all the eligible males in the office? Now I'm left with that part-time weirdo Yasuhara-san, the celibate Brown-san and deadpan Lin-san. Greeeat.
"Mmmm, that was great," said Monk-san in a low tone that sent shivers down Ayako-san's spine.
"Are you happy now?"
"Not really. I need one more thing."
"No! You've done enough damage."
"No one is going to notice."
"Yes, they will!"
"A deflowering must occur," he said solemnly.
"Noooo! Monk-san! Don't you dare!"
That was it! This has gone too far!
Ayako-san shot out of the chair and burst into Naru's office like an avenging angel.
"Monk-san, don't you even dare!" she yelled.
Mai yelped, "Ayako-san, help! He's going to eat a sugar flower."
"Don't you dare eat that sugar flower!" yelled Ayako-san. Wait, sugar flower? She glanced at the table and saw a beautifully decorated cake with 'Happy birthday, Naru,' written on top.
"Erm... " said Monk-san. He was frozen with the sugar flower half way to his mouth. He blinked and slowly replaced the flower on the cake.
"Thank you, Ayako-san. Although I wish you had come earlier. Maybe you could have stopped him from licking off the icing."
"Licking off the icing," said Ayako-san faintly.
"It's not a crime," muttered Monk-san like a petulant child.
Ayako-san sank to the floor and began to laugh hysterically.
Later on that day...
"Happy birthday, Naru!" yelled the inhabitants of the SPR office.
Naru scowled in response and immediately glared at Lin.
Lin winced and looked away.
Naru's scowl was still plastered on his face as he endured an off-tune rendition of Happy Birthday and as he cut the cake. Monk-san then relieved him of his duties, cut up the cake and set a very large slice aside for himself.
Mai approached Naru, "Naru, I have a small request."
"What now?" he growled.
"Could Monk-san and I leave a bit early? We need to visit to Ayako-san in hospital. She had bit of a moment."
Naru shrugged, "Sure. Don't forget to take her a piece of cake."