Slow Burn

A/N: Spoilers for Extreme Prejudice.

Chapter 18 – No Smoke Without Fire

"It's done."

Tony gripped the phone tightly as Gibbs' gruff voice rolled into his ear, feeling a surge of relief that it was over and Gibbs was alive… and presumably in one piece? Although with Gibbs, getting him to even admit he was hurt was never easy but that didn't mean Tony wouldn't try.

"You okay? Are you hurt?"

Tony could almost see the eyeroll as Gibb replied. "I'm fine."

"And Dearing?"

"Dead."

Biting back a barrage of questions, Tony took a deep breath as he leaned back on his couch. "So it's over… I mean really, finally over."

He heard Gibbs sigh. "Yeah, Tony, it's over."

"Where are you?" Tony asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Just finishing up at the scene. Heading back soon."

"Heading home. Sounds good. You'll be glad to get back to Casa Gibbs and down in that basement for some quality wood time."

There was a long pause as Tony waited for the click of the phone going off, wishing he could see Gibbs, to read what he was thinking and to see if the Marine really was okay.

This phone call felt a bit like uncharted waters.

It wasn't just his boss checking in after an op. It was his partner, in every sense of the word, as far as Tony was concerned.

So while Tony believed that gave him licence to push Gibbs with more questions than the Marine would normally have allowed him to get away with, it still gave Tony an odd feeling doing so, as if he was cautiously tiptoeing around in a minefield.

Tony guessed they were going to have to work out how to handle stuff like this as a couple.

But whether Gibbs saw it that way was another matter entirely. Although from what the Marine said next, maybe… just maybe he felt the difference too?

When Gibbs spoke again, his voice was quiet but heartfelt and it curled around Tony like a warm hand.

"Thought I had orders to come home to you."

Tony's breath caught in his throat, unable to stop the wide smile spreading across his face. "You did… and you do… Does that mean you wouldn't say no to some company tonight?"

"If it's yours…" Gibbs paused and Tony heard the uncertainty in his voice when he spoke again. "If you wanna be there."

"Oh, I wanna be there alright. Just try and stop me." Tony was already on his feet and grabbing keys and phone from the table on his way to the door. "On my way… how long will it take you to get back?"

"A few hours."

"Have you eaten? I guess probably not is the answer to that one if you're still at the scene." Tony pulled his apartment door closed behind him and set off down the hallway. "A better question would be, are you hungry? I've eaten… but you know me, I can always eat again. I could start on something while I'm waiting for you… that's assuming I can find anything in your kitchen that actually resembles food, or we can order takeout when you get back if you want?"

Tony was interrupted by a quiet chuckle and he paused, laughing a trifle self-consciously. "I'm sounding like your mother again, aren't I?"

"Ya think."

"Not an impersonation I wanna practice, believe me." Tony diverted to the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. "Okay then, I'll stop fussing and get over there right now, though I can't promise I won't grab you when you get there." Tony paused for a moment in his descent and leaned against the wall, eyes closing for a moment as the tension that had gripped him all day began to ease. "Jethro, I'm…" His voice failed him and he cleared his throat before he could go on. "I'm real glad you're okay."

There was a long pause before the quiet reply. "Me too, Tony."

Unable to settle to anything at Gibbs' house, over the past few hours Tony had restlessly moved from the couch to the basement and his armchair and back up to the couch again. He'd made a few calls, to Abby and Ziva and McGee, just to pass on the news that Gibbs was okay, and was currently attempting to fill the time by reading a book but kept catching himself glancing at his watch, convinced it had either stopped or was going backwards.

Tony had compromised on the food, picking up chicken and pasta from his favourite Italian restaurant which he could reheat when Gibbs arrived… whenever that might be.

Headlights flashed across the window and the distinctive sound of Gibbs' truck reached Tony's ears as it pulled onto the driveway, and he scrambled off the couch.

Finally.

By the time Tony had turned on the oven, removed two beers from the fridge and popped the caps, the front door opened. Tony peered around the kitchen doorway to watch Gibbs drop his backpack just inside the door. "Hey… welcome home."

Gibbs huffed out a breath when he saw Tony, his face softening in a brief smile. Tony approached, holding back the urge to grab the older man and pin him against the nearest wall and show him how relieved he was that Gibbs was here… and safe.

"Just put some food on, it'll be about half an hour. Thought you might like one of these." Tony handed him a beer and Gibbs nodded his thanks before taking a sip.

Tony's eyes roamed over the Marine's face, taking in the obvious tiredness Gibbs was making no effort to hide, and let his gaze move down the line of his body, eyes snagging on the sleeve of his jacket.

"What the…?" Alarmed, Tony grabbed Gibbs' arm, turning the jacket to the light, taking in the blood soaking the material.

"It's not mine."

Tony shot him a look. "Glad to hear it… and even more relieved it's Dearing's."

"Guess he was after suicide by cop." Gibbs commented after a moment.

"Looks like he got it." Tony could see the tension in Gibbs' body language and it triggered warning bells in his head but he wasn't sure why for the moment. "So the place wasn't booby trapped?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Nope… they cleared the house afterwards. Nothing there. He just had a gun."

"But you got there first." Reading the position and spatter of blood on the sleeve, Tony felt his stomach clench. "Gunshot? No… s'not right for that." He looked at Gibbs expectantly but guessing what he was about to say.

Gibbs pulled his arm away from Tony's grasp, simply stating, "Knife."

"Up close and personal… jeez, Gibbs." Tony ran a hand over his hair. "When I said it wasn't as satisfying taking this guy out from a distance, I didn't mean for you to take it to heart. It wasn't an instruction, you know, merely a comment."

Gibbs shrugged out of his jacket, his voice tight. "It's done. Does it matter how?"

Tony felt his own annoyance build. "No… no, I guess not. Why should it matter that you took a big risk again when you didn't need to?"

Gibbs didn't reply, just stared at him silently, and Tony shook his head, turning away, starting to pace the hallway. "And a knife?! Why the hell didn't you use a gun? Or better yet, put your sniper hat back on and take him out from a distance?"

Once started, Tony found himself unable to stop, all the worry and fear from the day pouring out, choosing to ignore the increasing irritation he could see in Gibbs. "Why weren't you in the woods outside the house with your rifle… holed up somewhere to the west for a nice window shot. There was cover within 200 metres and that's nothing for you."

At Gibbs' expression of surprise and annoyance, Tony nodded, stepping toe to toe with him. "Yeah, I checked, we all did… and if we couldn't have seen what we needed to easily, McSatellite was all prepared to hack into… wherever it was he was going to hack into… So we saw the layout of the place and Ziva spent half the afternoon wearing a groove in the floor giving us a blow by blow account of how she'd attack the place single handed, which wasn't helping our nerves any… although McGee did manage to remove all her paperclip ammunition in a brave lightning raid while she was going for coffee. And Abby was in a foul mood too. Every time I escaped down there, I either got hugged to within an inch of my life or had my ear bent for news, in between her growling at anyone else who dared set foot in her lab. It was not a fun time, let me tell ya."

Not fun was an understatement to describe the day they'd had, with Ziva lashing out at anyone who ventured close, McGee doing his quietly frantic worried act and an Abby who was very pissed off and close to panic.

Gibbs just stared at him impassively until Tony felt himself run out of steam. He turned away, heading for the kitchen, bracing his hands on the counter, breathing deeply to try and calm down. Fully expecting Gibbs to storm off to the basement any second, Tony turned in surprise when Gibbs merely followed him into the kitchen and stood there, looking at him expectantly.

Tony sighed. "Look, I get that Dearing blaming you must've preyed on your mind, even though none of this was your fault, Jethro. His son made his own choices… and so did Dearing… and you know that, deep down, don't you?" He waited till Gibbs nodded before going on in a quieter voice. "So… why face to face?"

Gibbs didn't reply immediately and Tony waited him out, even though he could see the Marine's temper was held in check by a thread, his jaw clenched and as tense as the way he held himself.

Eventually, Gibbs sighed and his posture eased fractionally and Tony released the breath he'd been unconsciously holding. Gibbs ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Wanted to see him. Try and understand."

"And did you?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. Guess he needed to see me too… s'why he didn't blow the place up or run. He was waiting for me. Expected me to show up alone."

"And whatever he wants he gets?"

"What d'ya want me to say, DiNozzo?" Gibbs snapped, his eyes flashing anger. "It's done. Does how really matter? So what if I went there alone?"

"Oh, coz you going Lone Wolf always works out so well, doesn't it? I have such fond memories of my swim in the Potomac. I shoulda been on your six, Gibbs." Tony shot back, inwardly wincing as he played the 'Maddie card' which he'd never done before, and certainly didn't want to make a habit of, and saw it hit home with Gibbs.

He got no satisfaction from the flash of guilt that shot through the Marine's eyes.

It took a few seconds for Gibbs to get himself under control before he replied. "Maybe not but it was necessary." Gibbs straightened, holding his gaze. "I know it was necessary."

"And when your mind's made up, your mind's made up… or should I say your gut. Yeah, I know…" Tony leaned back against the counter, feeling drained at the familiar argument that he never seemed to win. He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Okay, to be continued next time you do the same thing, which I know you will some day, but I guess what matters is you're here and in one piece."

"You gonna react like this every time I'm in danger now we're… involved?" Gibbs moved to stand next to Tony, looking at him warily. "Coz if you are, we could have a problem."

"Maybe I think we're worth the effort," Tony replied so quietly Gibbs wondered if he was talking to himself. Tony turned to face Gibbs, his voice stronger. "And you don't always go Lone Wolf though, do you? At work, if I'm on your six, then I guess I just feel better about it, feel more in control… and I know it's part of the job and always will be."

Tony sighed when Gibbs didn't speak and averted his gaze as he tried to articulate what he had a hard time thinking through. "But, yeah, I guess personally it has hit me harder this time. I'm finding it difficult to suck it up and move on and focus on what's important, like I usually can. I can't turn off my emotions and how I feel about you just like that, not when something like this happens… when you still don't value your life and choose not to consider that you're important… very important to the people who care about you. You turn the situation around, Jethro. Put yourself in my shoes. You'd be as pissed as I feel right now, wouldn't you?"

Gibbs studied him for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "Guess so… I'd trust your judgement though."

Tony's head shot up at that. "You sure about that?"

Gibbs nodded, this time decisively, determined to at least temper one of Tony's many insecurities.

Tony sighed, meeting Gibbs' steady gaze. His voice softened as he confessed. "Scared the crap outta me, Jethro. I was scared I was gonna lose the best part of my life. Scared I was gonna lose someone I… someone I care about." He bit off the 'L' word again before he could slip up.

"But you didn't. Not gonna argue with you, Tony… it's done. Up to you if you can put it behind you." Gibbs reached out to squeeze Tony's shoulder. "Gonna take a shower."

Tony watched the tall figure head upstairs, wondering if he'd gone too far and just ruined everything?

TBC…