Have I mentioned lately just how awesome all you people are? I've loved each and ever review! Thank you thank you thank you for your feedback and for reading this story. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations; there's plot coming your way!

SS

I had never been more grateful for her professionalism as I was that next day. She showed up in my office on time, composed and ready to work. Nothing changed in our daily routine. The only difference in our lives overall was the end of our evening chats. She never once came to my study for a drink, nor did I offer. I felt the loss of her companionship deeply, but it wouldn't be fair to ask her to draw an arbitrary line in the sand of where we were allowed to socialize and where we weren't. So I left her alone.

The next week there was another meeting with the board of directors. Hermione stayed faithfully by my side through the whole thing. After, when Mikhail tried to come up to her, I smoothly asked her if she would confirm our plans for tea with the director of activities later that week. Once she was across the room, I turned on Mikhail.

"Listen to me, you little tosser, and listen well. If you come near Miss Granger again, if you look at her, if you even breathe her air, I will show you precisely why I was the right hand of the Dark Lord for twenty years. Your dalliance with her is at an end. If you speak to her again, or- spirits help you- accost her again, you will have me to answer to. Do I make myself clear?"

"Accost? The witch bit me-"

"I said," I hissed, "Do I make myself clear?" This wasn't the tone I reserved for errant students. Nor the one I used when speaking to idiot members of the ministry. This was the tone I'd perfected during my service to Voldermort. The tone that reflected all the evil I'd ever done. All the damage I could cause. All the pain I could inflict. Mikhail paled and backed away on shaking legs.

"Crystal, sir," he whispered hoarsely. I glared at him, daring him to say more. He wisely remained silent. Then I turned and went to Hermione, leaving him there frozen in place in fright.

It was a full week after that before I started to notice the change in Hermione. The subtle differences. She would be writing something, her quill flying across the page at lightning speed, and then suddenly it would stop. I would glance up and see a blank expression on her face. I chalked it up to distraction and dismissed it. Then, things began to slip. She forgot the have the schedule ready for the next week. The paperwork began piling up once more. Once, I caught her staring off into space, her face a mask of peace. Emptiness.

I began to worry. I'd never known her to be careless or disorganized. I didn't care about having to make up the schedule myself, nor did I care if the paperwork rotted away on her desk until kingdom come. What scared me was the change in her personality. In her core traits. This wasn't a subtle alteration over time. It was as if she was simply letting go of life. The worst part was, I had a suspicion as to what was going on. And it frightened me to my very core.

I considered simply confronting her. But would she feel attacked and shut down? I thought about questioning her gently. But she would be able to get around that. Instead, I decided the best way would be to catch her in the act. So I waited until that Friday night and sat, disillusioned, in the supply closet.

If she wasn't doing what I thought she was doing, I was going to feel absurdly foolish. Even still, I was praying that I was wrong. Unfortunately, at a quarter to midnight, the door opened and then closed quietly. I heard the softly spoken lumos and watched as my assistant went through the little bottles and jars, pulling out ingredients. When she gathered all the ones she needed, she went back into the hallway and flooed back to her rooms.

I made myself visible again with a sigh. Yes, I had been right. The ingredients she'd taken were for Dreamless Sleep. There could be no mistake. No misunderstanding. She was using the potion to escape her nightmares. And worse, she was addicted. I flooed into her rooms behind her, prepared to do whatever it took to stop her.

I thought I was prepared. I thought I knew what was coming. I thought I had it under control.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I came in through the fire and found her sitting on the bed, ready to swallow the potion. I was at her side in two long strides, taking the bottle from her hand and replacing the stopper. She blinked up at me in shock, opening her mouth to say something. She never got the chance. Because as I looked around for a table on which to set the potion, I realized that almost every surface in the room was covered with little bottles. They littered the nightstand and a few had fallen to the floor. They were scattered on the shelves and lined up in neat rows on her worktable. A few were even spilling out from under her pillow. And almost every one of them was empty. I simply stared at her in shock.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I finally roared. She blanched back, startled by the vehemence in my voice. "Are you trying to drive yourself insane? Or to kill yourself? If so there are easier ways to go about it!" I took a handful of the empty bottles and threw them onto the bed beside her, utterly disgusted.

"I...I needed to sleep."

"I warned you about the dangers of Dreamless Addiction! I told you not to become dependent on it! How could you possibly think this was safe? That this was acceptable?"

"What other choice did I have?" She stood up and faced me toe to toe. "You're the only one I trust enough to go to, and you told me not to," she hissed. Then her face hardened again and she pulled the vial out of my hand. "I'd rather waste away from Dreamless Addiction than go to bed every night just to return to that hell!" She tried to open the bottle and drink it, but I caught her wrist and stopped her.

"How often?" I asked. She struggled to get her hand free, not looking me in the eye. "How often?" I demanded. "How often have you been having the nightmares? How often have you been taking the potion?" When she still didn't answer, I shook her slightly. Her head snapped up to mine.

"Every night! Every night since...since you told me not to come back. I take the potion two or three times a night to keep the nightmares at bay."

It was my turn to blanch back. I stared at her in shock. Not only that she'd been taking the potion so often -how had she made it as long as she had?- but that she'd been driven here by me. My hand fell away from her wrist, but she didn't put the bottle up to her lips. I thought back to the night she'd left my room. Back to the moment I'd realized that my will to resist her had fled. That if she came to my bed once more, I would take her. And in my stupidity, in my attempt to protect her, I'd told her not to return. Failing to see that in so doing, I was cutting her off from her only escape from the nightmares. Turning her away from her outlet. Closing her off from the one avenue available to her for seeking relief.

I had thrown her out into the darkness and left her alone.

I'd abandoned her.

How could I be angry that she'd turned to Dreamless Sleep for sanctuary? I'd left no other option open to her. Guilt, crushing, staggering, searing guilt fell so heavily on me that I physically staggered under its weight. I sank into the chair behind me, dropping my head into my hands as shame scalded me more surely than boiling oil could have. This was my fault. All my fault. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so cruel?

"You will never take Dreamless Sleep again. If we are lucky, with a little time to recover and a few other potions to counteract the effects, there won't be any lasting damage. Gather what things you need."

"What?" She sounded as if she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I wanted to do both.

"Put together a bag. Enough to see you through a week or two. You will not be returning to your quarters for at least that long." I stared at the floor, keeping my tone flat and dead. She drew in a shaky breath, and then began to do as I asked. In a few minutes, she came back to me with a bag over her shoulder. I rose and pulled her to the fireplace, then flooed us to my rooms. When we stepped out of the hearth, she looked around and blinked in surprise.

"What are we doing here?" she asked incredulously. I turned and studied her with my arms crossed.

"You were expecting someplace else?"

"I...I thought you were throwing me out. Of the castle." She twisted the bag in her hands. I sighed, wondering just how much I could possibly mistreat this young woman. Just how much cruelty one person could take. How could I keep hurting her without meaning to?

"I am a man of my word, Miss Granger. I believe I told you on your first day here that you were welcome in the castle for as long as I am headmaster here. That has not changed."

"Then what are we doing here?" Without answering her question, I took her bag from her hands and emptied it on the bed. She started to protest, but I ignored her. Sifting through the clothes, personal items and papers, I collected a dozen vials of Dreamless Sleep hidden in pockets, pouches and even a bottle stuffed in the lining of her shoe. She finally gave up trying to stop me and stood wordlessly as I gathered them all together and threw them into the fire.

"You will be staying here until you get through the withdrawal."

"I thought I was no longer welcome here," she said bitterly.

"Miss Granger," I sighed and sat down, pinching the bridge of my nose in an attempt to stem the headache building. "I will not even try and pretend that this entire situation is anyone's fault but my own. I spoke thoughtlessly and started you on this path. For that, you have my sincerest apologies. There is nothing I can to do rectify the past, but I will be doing everything in my power to set the future right. If I could take away the pain that will assuredly come during the next few weeks, I would. Rest assured that I will be suffering along with you none the less."

"You can't protect me from myself," she whispered. I brought my head up and studied her. Had she truly given up on life? Was I too late to save her?

No. I would fix this, even if I was the last thing I did. I rose slowly and went to stand before her. My hands rested on her arms lightly. I searched her eyes, willing her to see the steel in my own.

"Yes, I can," I growled. "And I will."

"That's not your job."

"Yes it is. It has been since the day you walked into my life. It always will be."

"I'm a duty you can't escape?"

"You're a privilege I won't give up," I replied honestly. Her mouth dropped open in shock. I smiled sadly at her and pushed her jaw closed with one finger beneath her chin. "I've been hiding from you, Miss Granger, because I know just how weak I am. I know just how selfish I am. But I cannot hide any longer. I cannot live with the guilt of loosing you, so I will have to live with the shame of taking you."

"Do you mean...?"

"I will hold you through your withdrawals, I will drive away your nightmares by whatever means necessary. You will come out the other side of this. And once you have...I will give you what you want, if you still wish it. I will teach you everything there is to know about sexuality. I will teach your body to expect pleasure, not pain, from a man's touch. You have always been an apt pupil; I expect this will be no different."

"What if I can't learn?" There was a slight tremor of fear in her voice. I lifted my hand to stroke her cheek with my fingertips.

"Impossible."

Did you see that coming? I know a few of you did! Oh, and I wanted to mention, I have heard your requests for longer chapters: I'm not ignoring you, I promise. I haven't been writing this story with chapters, per se, but scenes. Which is why chapter 3 had 5k words, chapter 9 only had 1.5k, and chapter 7 had 7.5k. I know it makes for uneven chapter balance, but I decided with this story it was more important to break up my scenes properly than have chapters uniform in length. The next few segments are going to be pretty short, I believe so maybe I'll post them all together for you all. After that, I promise some longer chapters as we get into their "lessons" ; )