*I just want to say how cool I think it is that there are so many readers from other countries here on Fanfiction. I got a pm from someone in Brazil and it made my day (in addition to the reviews!) It's impressive to me how many people in non-English speaking countries can speak and read English. I looked up my story stats and found that there are even readers from Iceland, Turkey, Pakistan and Croatia. Who knew? Anyway thank you, gracias, merci, Þakka þér fyrir, arigato, danke, hvala, etc. Sorry if I totally butchered some of those.

QuirkyKitty93- yes, toys are a good thing ;) I'm not sure if they'll make another appearance though

BloodyRose90- aw, what a nice compliment!

WitchRavenFox- Sorry that it's confusing. Actually, that's how Draco feels about the whole thing, too. I look at it like his defense mechanism. He needs to protect his heart, so he can't completely give in to his feelings, the way Harry has. p.s. Hermione was in the shop, but only saw Harry briefly, and she doesn't know Draco well.

FantasyFiend09- I don't plan on leaving Fanfiction. I like it here, as long as they don't pull stories. I don't have my Drarry stories anywhere but here. I attribute Harry's panic to his subconscious fears of being helpless, not specifically being at Draco's mercy.

Mr. Buster- Happy Birthday! and Thanks!

anon- you don't have to fucking read my fucking story if you don't fucking like it. alwaysZutarian writes ATLA. I'm not sure what the fuck that has to do with this story, but if you're frustrated with her-tell her, not me. I happen to like her stories very much

Thanks to DracoIsMyLionI'mHisLamb, cassy1994 and xSingleXdrarryXShipper2x for reading and reviewing!

〪o 〫O〬 o〭

Day forty-five, Tuesday

"I told you, I don't know where he is. And even if I did, why should I tell you?"

Draco glared at the stout man. Having a fair bit of height, plus being a former Death Eater, came in handy sometimes.

"Because if you don't, I'll curse your knob so hard you'll be pissing out your nose."

The man visibly shrunk at the threat. "I'm tellin' ya, I don't know where he is now."

"Then where was Duncan last? Tell me that," Draco demanded.

"I ain't heard from my cousin in months. He was in Germany last I heard, working for some guy, making potions."

"Who?"

"I, I don't know."

Draco's wand lowered, pointing at the man's crouch.

"But I can find out," the man quickly added. "My aunt must know."

"Find out, Bloxham" Draco told him. "And be subtle about it. I don't want anyone getting suspicious."

Duncan's cousin nodded in compliance.

"Do as I ask and the Auror's office won't be getting an anonymous tip about your little smuggling operation," Draco said. He couldn't believe that he was now stooping to blackmail on top of lying. The lengths to which he was willing to go to help Harry surprised him. Harry was completely turning his life upside down. And Draco was letting him.

"I'll be back next week."

"I'll have the information for you," Bloxham promised.

Draco left Bloxham and his broom shop, confident that he would soon be able to track down Nazar Duncan and be one step closer to helping Harry get his memory back. The grin on his face faded. He would also be one step closer to judgement day. The day he would find out if his relationship with Harry could survive the truth.

〪o 〫O〬 o〭

Day forty-seven, Thursday

"Drake?"

"Hm?"

"Never mind."

Draco rolled over in bed to face Harry, even though the room was too dark to really see him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Harry answered. "I was only wondering why you haven't done anything more about getting my memory back."

"But I am," Draco explained. "I'm still doing research. From what I've read, I could make it worse if I don't know what I'm doing."

Harry remained silent in the dark.

"I'm still trying, Harry. You believe me, don't you?"

"Of course. I just thought . . . maybe you forgot."

"I'm not you," Draco joked. He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Harry. "I'm only kidding. I made a promise to help you restore your memories, and I'm going to keep it."

"What if you can't?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll figure that out once I've exhausted our options. But I'm not giving up yet," Draco said. "I didn't want to get your hopes up in case I find out the research doesn't pan out."

"Okay."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Draco asked.

"Yeah," Harry laughed nervously. "I guess I'm just a little anxious about remembering some things."

"Like the war?" Draco asked.

"That, and us not getting along."

"It'll be all right, Harry," Draco reassured him. "I remember everything, and I'm still here with you." He kissed Harry's forehead and smoothed out his hair.

"How?"

"People change."

That was exactly what Harry was afraid of.

〪o 〫O〬 o〭

Day forty-eight, Friday

The room was silent as Harry and Draco each read in opposite corners of the flat after supper. Harry preferred to sit in the window seat, not realizing that it was probably a habit he picked up while at Hogwarts. Draco sat with his legs drawn up on the chair he used to transfigure before he and Harry began sharing the bed.

That had begun several weeks prior. And though they spent many active nights together, they hadn't taken the biggest step. Not that they didn't want to. Harry hinted around. More than hinted, he'd speak of it as an inevitability. But Draco, knowing that he'd already gone much farther into the relationship than he should have without complete honesty, procrastinated. It was disguised as patience and understanding, which only endeared him to Harry even more.

The former Gryffindor looked up from his book. It was another romantic tome about star-crossed lovers. This book, however, was a bit more graphic in the details of the lovers' relationship, and it quickly put Harry in the mood.

He watched Draco as he read, unaware of Harry's gaze. His white blond hair was getting longer in the front and the fringe kept falling into his eyes. Draco gently swiped them aside, only to have them fall slowly back down every few minutes.

Harry thought about how quickly he had gone from feeling like a lost boy to a young man thanks to the man across the room. He would hardly describe himself as independent, as he was still very much reliant on Draco. But the freedom he experienced made him feel more and more like the twenty-four year old he was.

In comparison, Draco seemed vastly more mature. Harry greatly admired him for his accomplishments. He was a business owner, a Potions Master, and far more experienced in the matters of love.

Love.

Harry wondered if that was what he was feeling for Draco. He knew that he enjoyed very much the physical aspects of their relationship. And he enjoyed the quiet times as well, like strolling down the Alley hand in hand on their way to supper at one of the cafes. But he thought what he almost looked forward to the most, was lying in Draco's arms late at night talking about their day or making plans for their next day off.

The couple in the book he was reading were deeply in love. They shared similar times to him and Draco. And they were described as having 'butterflies every time they touched'.

Harry was getting butterflies just watching Draco read.

"Drake?"

"Hm?" Draco replied without looking up.

"I think I'm ready."

"What?" Draco asked absentmindedly. He glanced up. "You're ready?"

Harry nodded.

"Ready for what?"

"I want you to make love to me."

Draco shut his book and gaped at Harry. It was about the last thing he expected to hear, though he shouldn't have been completely taken by surprise. They had been slowly progressing to that point. And Harry had subtly, or not so subtly alluded to it. He hadn't, however, come right out and requested it before.

Truthfully, Draco had been just as nervous as Harry, obviously for different reasons. Many men passed through Draco's young life. He wasn't ashamed of having an abundance of lovers, most of whom were one offs. He was always in control, but never felt as though he were making love to any of them. Not that it wasn't equally enjoyable. He preferred the lack of commitment anyway. He preferred not to have someone shake up his life, the way Harry did. It scared Draco how easily he let Harry entrench himself into his private world. It alarmed him how much he wanted to make love to Harry.

"Drake? Did you hear me?"

"Yes," Draco tried to say. Only a squeak came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Yes. Are you . . . are you certain?"

"Absolutely. I want you to make love to me." Harry swallowed. "Now."

Draco tossed his book aside, got up and picked up his wand.

"Incendio." He lit several candles about the room. He made the lamps go out. The place was instantly transformed into a romantic sanctuary.

"Come here," Draco bade.

Slowly, Harry rose from the window seat and walked to his lover.

Holding Harry's gaze, Draco began to unbutton his shirt. He slid the fabric from Harry's shoulders and let it drop to the floor. Next, he unbuckled the belt holding Harry's trousers up, and slipped the button from its hole.

Harry shuddered in anticipation. He wanted to rip off his clothes, then do the same to Draco. But he restrained himself, letting the other man set the pace.

The pace Draco set was teasingly slow. He wanted to savor every moment. When Harry stood only in his well filled pants, Draco began to undress himself. Harry couldn't resist helping a little bit and removed the shirt.

As soon as Draco's trousers hit the floor, Harry pounced on him, pushing him backwards onto the bed. Harry briefly wondered if he was always so aggressive, or if it was his reaction to Draco that brought it out. It made no difference, Harry's mouth was on Draco's as he lay on top of him, grinding his hips.

A hand gripped Harry's hair, while the other one slipped into his pants and squeezed his arse. There were few good places for Harry to grab in his current position, so he rolled to his side, careful not to lose the contact of Draco's strategically placed hand.

Having free access, Harry rubbed the growing bulge in Draco's pants with the heel of his hand.

Draco groaned, spurring Harry on to move faster and harder. He'd had enough of the fabric separating them, and Harry pulled down Draco's pants, using his foot to push them all the way off. Then he tore off his own, taking Draco's hand and putting it back on his arse. He spread his legs slightly to allow better access. Draco happily took advantage.

"Accio oil," Draco said, catching the bottle mid-flight.

He poured some on his finger tips and ran his fingers down Harry's opening. Though he had previously teased the sensitive hole, he hadn't put more than half a finger inside. Draco knew if he was going to make love to Harry properly, he would have to prepare him with at least two, preferably three, fingers all in.

"Are you ready?"

"So ready," Harry answered.

"I'm going to need to use my fingers first," Draco said gently. "I'll try not to hurt you."

"You would never hurt me."

"Not intentionally," Draco replied honestly. His words carried a double meaning. Clearly he was speaking of the present situation, about not hurting Harry physically. But he was also alluding to the future, when Draco's actions may hurt Harry emotionally. He hesitated briefly. Then, like debris in a river, he was swept away, his body seemingly moving of its own accord.

Harry cringed as the first finger, generously lubricated, slid in. He relaxed as it wasn't painful as he expected.

"All right?" Draco asked, concerned.

Harry nodded. "It's okay. You can keep going."

Draco carefully and slowly added another finger. He felt Harry tense a bit, then relax again. Forging ahead, Draco added a third finger, stroking in and out stretching Harry to accommodate his waiting cock.

"I think I'm ready for you," Harry said quietly.

Draco's fingers slipped out, leaving Harry feeling empty. He poured more lube on his cock and tossed the bottle aside. He took a hold of himself and guided his cock between Harry's wide spread legs. At first tight, Harry's opening allowed Draco to slip inside. Because of the oil, or perhaps Harry's previous experiences, Draco pushed in to the hilt more quickly than either of them expected.

Harry groaned loudly.

"I'm sorry," Draco whispered. "I was expecting a little more resistance."

Harry chuckled softly. "I have a feeling I've done this before. It doesn't hurt."

"Your body does seem to know what it's doing," Draco replied.

"Are you disappointed that you're not my first?"

"On the contrary. Knowing that I won't hurt you means I can pound your arse to my heart's content." Draco leered at Harry, and the latter wasn't quite sure if he was only teasing.

In case he was, Harry responded, "I also have a feeling I like it a little rough."

With that remark, Draco began to move his hips, backward and forward.

Harry groaned again, this time Draco along with him.

They moved together in perfect rhythm, both tilting their hips forward and away.

Draco lifted Harry's legs up onto his shoulders, restricting Harry's movement. But the new position provided friction in just the right place for the brunet.

"Oh, fuck, that's good," Harry grunted. He grabbed his own cock and began stroking roughly.

"Harry, you feel so good. I'm not going to last much longer."

"Me too," Harry murmured.

Draco ran a hand across Harry's body, caressing his chest and tweaking a nipple.

When Harry gasped at the feeling, Draco raked his fingernails over the tender area.

"Yeah," Harry whispered. "Oh, Drake." He closed his eyes.

Draco kept his attention focused on his lover's needs, watching Harry's face as he came closer to climaxing, even as he was ready to explode himself.

"Oh, Drake," Harry moaned. "Harder. Oh, Drake. Oh. Drake. Ohhh." He repeated the mantra several times until the words seemed to blend together, sounding more like his lover's real name.

Harry came hard, spilling thick white jizz on his stomach and hand. He cried out, "Draco."

Panting heavily, Harry opened his eyes to gaze up at his lover.

"You called me Draco," the named man smiled.

"It is your name. Is that all right?"

"It was nice," Draco said gently. For that brief moment, he felt it was the whole Harry there with him.

Harry frowned. "Why did you stop moving? Don't you want to finish?"

"I did," Draco smiled coyly. "When you did."

"Was it good?" Harry asked. He was so engaged in making his own sounds of pleasure, he didn't notice if Draco did.

"It was fantastic."

He looked down at Harry, hair unkempt and slightly sweaty. He knew he never felt about any of his conquests the way he felt about this man. He had the notion he would never feel about anyone the way he felt about Harry. Draco dared to hope that, so strong was their connection, everything would work out for the pair, even once Harry got his memory back.

"I love you, Drake," Harry blurted out.

Draco blinked at the unexpected declaration.

Misreading Draco's reaction, Harry bit his lip.

"You don't have to say anything. I only wanted you to know."

Draco gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"Thank you." He paused. "I'm not good at . . . I . . ." Draco looked away. He wanted to say it. However, as hopeful as he had just been, his fear of vulnerability won out. "You make me happy, Harry."

Harry smiled. He knew that Draco was a very guarded man. And although he longed to hear the words, Harry suspected that what Draco just said was as close to 'I love you' as he was going to get. For the time being. Harry could be patient as long as they were together.

He hoped that would be forever.

〪o 〫O〬 o〭

So, I realized that I wasn't explaining why I chose the lines for the titles to each chapter. I guess some are self explanatory ie: when you lose something you can't replace -Harry's memory. I've also had to alter the lines a bit, to make them fit in the title space. Nobody has asked, so I hope that means they've been sort of making sense. In this chapter, Harry gets what he wants, but he doesn't get the 'I love you' he needs.

p.s. the title of the next chapter is Lights Will Guide You Home -dun dun dun