I was frozen for a moment. What was I supposed to do now? Benny was no where to be seen and the noise was getting closer. My tensed muscles started to ache, but just when it felt like the source of the horn was right behind me, it stopped.
I swung round, expecting someone to be there, but the beach was still as empty as I'd left it. I turned back and took a few more tentative steps towards the corner that would lead me on to another part of the beach.
I knew I was over-reacting a bit. That wasn't a sign of the Rakyat, it was probably just one of the pirates messing round, but I didn't know which pirate.
As I turned the corner, I saw Benny standing next to a red truck. He was talking to the driver, who was also a pirate and in the back, there was a cage with at least two people in it. They were hunched like dogs, their bodies bloodied and beaten.
All-of-a-sudden, two more pirates, armed with rifles came from out of the bush, followed by Vaas who was holding one of those old native hunting horns. He talked to Benny and then nodded at the driver.
The driver seemed to press something within the truck and the back of it suddenly lifted up and the cage tumbled off. The cage door broke off and the two men stumbled out slowly, looking warily at their surroundings before gaining their feet and running,
"I'll give you thirty seconds" Vaas shouted as they ran off down the beach. I felt my heart pull at it's strings, as if it was just as scared as my head was of the man I'd been friends with.
Benny laughed at the scene, reminding me of the fact I didn't want to believe. He was just as bad as Vaas was, he was just as bad as any other blood-thirsty pirate. I wasn't safe here. I'd never be safe here. This island was going to kill me.
I made myself turn away from the scene as the guns started firing, aiming at the terrified men who were now going out of view and entering the jungle. The two pirates who had accompanied Vaas were now running after them, whilst Benny and Vaas continued to laugh.
In my head, I contemplated my options. I told myself I could run, that I could survive in the jungle and kill for food, but I was scared that it'd get to a point where I'd have to kill others to survive. Once the Rakyat found out I was still alive, they wouldn't leave me live. Not anymore.
I also said that I could stay. For now, despite the strangers all around me, I was safe. For now, I'd just have to find a place in this cruel factor and find a way to survive. I'd also have to find out the truth, and somehow, I'd have to get it out of Vaas.
As I sat on the sand, where Benny had left me. I contemplated how I would do such thing. I knew, in time, it would get better, I wouldn't be as terrified, I'd get braver, but I knew, in time, it could also get worse, I'd witness and experience things that would make me completely give up on life. I'm surprised I hadn't done it already. Little things would make you see another side you wished never exsisted, but knew, unconsciously, they did.
Benny joined me after a further five minutes, thankfully alone. He commented on the view and then led me back to the camp.
We were both silent as we made our way through the undergrowth.
The jungle whispered noises around us, making every break of a twig a little louder and the breeze make a soft rustle as it blew through the grass. It reminded me of home, of the place that I'd once lived, but had been broken by power and control.
The hut I resided in was almost deadly quiet when Benny left, promising me food in a couple hours. All I could do was lie on the bed and look up at the rickety wood ceiling.
I really need to find something to do. Otherwise, I feared I may go insane.
I've told you a thousand times already. You already insane...
The next few days were quiet. Vacation season was over and all the pirates had were a few rejects and natives to play with.
Benny came and went, but we didn't talk. Not as much as before.
I could understand why. I brought things back that he didn't want to remember.
I was doing my usual, staring up at the ceiling when the door suddenly flew open. It banged on the wall, almost making the whole room shake before Vaas walked in, this evil look in his eye.
Shit, shit, shit...
I fell off the bed and scrambled to the corner as he walked towards me, a knife in his hand.
He stopped a couple feet away from me before holding it up. It was the one the Rakyat warrior had attached to his belt that day I'd been 'rescued'.
"Do you remember this?" Vaas asked me, he sounded as if he was on the edge of shouting. He held the knife with two hands, turning it round, "Do you remember how we scoured the island for this damn thing?". I kept quiet. "You know who found it? A fucking American bitch!" he answered. He looked at the knife and then to me, a smirk on his face as he laughed coldly before grabbing me.
I was so scared I didn't even fight back. All I could think was that I was going to die. The guy had gone insane and he was going to slit my throat.
He pulled me up and then turned me round, shoving me up against the wall, so my back was to him.
All sorts of things were running through my head, but I was so scared. In that one moment, I wanted to die, but I didn't...
Fight back god damn you...
I couldn't.
"I think your taking Benny for a ride" he whispered in my year, "I think your an imposter", I could smell the weed on his breath, "I think you need to prove that you are who you say you are". I squeezed my eyes shut as he put his hand on my back. I didn't want to think about what was coming next, but I knew, that if it did, I'd go throw myself off a god damn cliff face.
The next few moments seemed to go in slow motion. All I felt was the raising of my top, but then he stopped. I waited for what would come next, the thoughts were unbearable and I just wanted my life to be done with, but something changed.
I froze as I felt him begin to trail the scar on my back, the one where I'd got bitten by a shark as a child...
Me and Vaas had been sitting on the rocks, admiring the crabs that were scurrying past us and getting sucked up by the water, over and over again.
Benny was a few feet away from us, making himself a sand castle and my dad was sitting near the small beach cabin. I was only ten at the time, but I still felt like I could do anything, which included climbing off the rocks and going in to the water.
Usually, the shallow water was fine, but for some stupid reason, I must have decided that it was no fun and went out further. I was always really cautious of sharks, from a young age, I knew what could happen to unsuspecting swimmers if they weren't careful, but I could stand up from where I was and my head was still above water, so I assumed that nothing would swim up behind me.
What I didn't know was that it was breeding season and the juvenile sharks liked to swim around in the shallows and catch the small crabs and turtles which thought they were safe.
I can't even remember the event. I just remember waking up after it.
My mum told me that the shark had pulled me down, trying to drown me and then it had been shot, but not before it's teeth had torn in to my flesh, leaving an unruly scar on my back.
Vaas suddenly left. Leaving me to fall on to the wood and let my heart stop racing.
Benny came in looking annoyed, but at least, he wasn't annoyed at me. He helped me get to my bed and then sat down next to me.
"I tried to tell him, I'm sorry".
I didn't say anything back.
"He just need's time" Benny told me, "You've brought back things he's trying to forget, to believe didn't happen",
"Why doesn't he just kill me then?" I suddenly asked. The question caught Benny off guard and his small silence told me I'd hurt him, but he answered anyway,
"Because if he does, he'd have to deal with the guilt all over again",
"He can't feel guilt" I heard myself saying, "He kills people for fun",
"He kills them to show control, to get power" Benny told me as if it was obvious,
"And when will he stop?" I asked, "When does control and power turn in to nothing?",
"When there's no more power to get" Benny shrugged. It was only then that I realised that he'd given up on his friend and had decided to just follow suit. Benny didn't want to be the voice of reason anymore, he'd tried and failed and was just going to follow orders and enjoy this insane life he had.
He was burying the past, the past which had made him in to this monster.
My fight was futile, almost useless.
How was I going to get truth from the two people in the world that was trying to bury it in a hole, and how long would it take for them to dispose of me when they realised I was stopping the past from being forgotten.
Days maybe...
The day after, I went to see the doctor in his hut, which, fortunately, was just across the way from mine.
There were only a few pirates at this time in the morning, but they only glanced at me as they patrolled the cages of sleeping prisoners.
The doctor was at his desk, writing away,
"I need to talk to you" I told him as I sat down on the chair next to the desk. He looked up suddenly and smiled,
"That's what I'm here for" he exclaimed as he moved the paper work aside, giving me his full attention.
I stopped, to think about what I was going to say, but it started almost immediately.
Don't you ever think about such a thing, what would you do without me...
"There's this voice in my head" I suddenly said, ignoring it's words,
"Voices, well it can only mean one thing" the doctor shrugged, "Your insane",
"But it's just one?" I told him, "And sometimes it doesn't even sound like me, and other times it does?",
"Still, your insane" this doctor really wasn't helping, but it's as if he red my mind, "To quiet it, you have to find the cause of it, when did it start?",
"I'm not sure, but I think it was the first day I woke up in the slave camp" I told him,
"Had you been hit?" he wondered, grabbing a brown folder from a drawer in the desk,
"I think I hit my head on the boat" I told him, not being able to remember the details,
"Hmm" he said as he opened it, "You could be suffering from paronoia" he shrugged, "Or maybe, it just woke up a part of you that was forgotten",
"So, I'm not insane" I asked, a small amount of hope that was squished instantly,,
He already said you were...
"I don't know" the doctor shrugged again, "Hell, everybody else is, you'd fit in perfectly" he laughed.
I left him. Madness was doing the exact same thing, over and over again, expecting things to change.
I wasn't doing that..
Are you sure?
The truth would kill me or save me. My life in Britain was long gone, I couldn't just leave knowing the truth was just there. Just beyond my reach.
I knew it'd be hard, but if I did try, over and over and over again, I'd know that at least, I didn't give up. I didn't fall at the last hurdle. I had a right to know what happened, what made everything in my perfect little world fall to peices.
I also needed to know, knowing that eventually, the unknown would swallow me up.
To do this, I couldn't give up on a hopeless act like everyone else had. I had to make them see the truth and deal with it. I had to make them remember every little bit of it, I had to dig up every peice of information. If anything, I owed it to them. Without the past, they'd never move on to the future. Benny would keep lying to himself and Vaas would keep on killing, trying to gain this power he'd never get.
A/N: I didn't realise this chapter was so long, I hope you guys enjoy :)