The Melancholy Schmaltz

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CHAPTER TWENTY: BATTLE OF WILL

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"We should stop." She told him with utmost determination.

"Stop?" His face showed soft and yet scrutinizing look.

"I have a boyfriend who actually wants to marry me. He's perfect for me. He wants me to be the mother of his children and above all, he loves me!" Kahoko's eyes mistied. She had to let go. Her conscience can't afford to hurt Len.

"But do you love him?" He questioned.

Kahoko was dumb-founded.

"Look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me but him. Until then, I would let you go." He moved closer to her and stood right in front of her. Kahoko was looking at her shoes. How in the world could she be able to do that when the truth is, she wanted him… but she knew she musn't.

"I care for Len." She knew she do. For all its worth, she cares for him.

"Look at me and tell me you love him and not me." His voice rose a bit. He despised this. She's his but she's stubborn. She's not like the Kahoko before. She seemed to have found the strength to make him agonize like this. Annoy him like this. She's not succumbing to his will like how she used to.

Kahoko turned her back. Suddenly, Yunoki grabbed her arm and spun her around. He kissed her. Kahoko was caught off guard. Her eyes widened. Yunoki circled his free arm around her waist and grabbed her closer to him. His kiss was forceful.

"Yu—" She wanted to push him away but he only took advantage of it. He inserted his tongue and persuaded her to answer him. She refused responding but she couldn't fight him. He pushed her right to the wall and lifted her chin to him. He knew how to kiss her. He knew how to trap her there and make her answer him. Kahoko had no choice, she finally gave in. She missed this. She missed the way he would tease her to this… and end up getting mad at her for being the worst kisser to have graced the earth.

•FLASH BACK•

The intimate kissing is not Kahoko's forte. She had no particular knowledge about it and it embarrasses her. There was a time when they first tried it together as couples...

He was merely staring at her when she talked about everything that happened to her during their school festival over their dinner. She looked so charming and really thrilled at her own stories.

"You know what? I was really happy when I scored during our final soccer tournament versus the 3-ed." She giggled.

"You actually looked like an idiot when you tripped off." He looked away.

She suddenly blushed. "It was an accident."

"Worst.. That Tsuchuira ran to help you get up. It's as if you had no legs at all."He sipped his water.

"Is it possible?"She tilted her head, scrutinizing his face.

"What possible?" His face was blankly straight.

Kahoko smiled. "Hmmm…You're jealous?"

Yunoki raised his left brow a bit. Amused at the thought. "Jealous huh?"

"Ah—I was just joking." She simpered.

"Maybe?" He smiled. He gave her that charming smile that he would only give out when he's in front of everyone and it scares her.

"Err, you shouldn't be jealous over it." She doesn't like it when he's mad or anything near it.

He stood up and offered to her his hand. "Shall we?"

"Where?" She questioned.

"The beach is beautiful and the moon is at its fullest… I wonder if you would want to accompany me there?" He smiled sweetly.

Bad. Bad. Kahoko thought. He must have been irked.

Kahoko took his hand. Together they walked along the shore. Her thoughts were all in the hand holding her. She liked how warm his hand felt against her own.

"The wind feels chilly." She brought up. He let go of her hand. Kahoko looked at him. Suddenly, he stood right in front of her, cupped her chin and stared deep into her eyes.

"Chilly?" He looked at her lips. Kahoko's instincts told her that he actually wanted something. He touched her lower lip with his thumb and gently rubbed it. Kahoko immediately swallowed. The place seemed isolate and no one else was there but them. "I didn't like how he ran out there to pick you up like you're his girlfriend."

"He must have been concern. That's all." She gently replied.

"Even though." His eyes narrowed. She blushed at the way he looked at her. He looked all so handsome. The moon's light lit his face and he was intently staring at her.

She closed her eyes and he kissed her. Yunoki sensuously kissed her. He circled his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She tried following his rhythm… suddenly, his tongue traced her lower lip. Kahoko's eyes opened. He was actually staring at her with soft, dominant look. His right hand trailed from her waist up to her nape. He tilted her head to the side and bit her lower lip. She stopped kissing him. He also stopped. She was just staring at him as if amazed at something. He smirked and cupped her chin. He lowered his head and pulled her chin a bit for her mouth to open. Upon opening her mouth, Yunoki inserted his tongue. Kahoko blushed at the feeling. She felt weird. Embarrassed at what they were actually doing. She felt butterflies on her stomach. She actually don't know how to respond to him. Her heart thud fast. She then felt his tongue caressing her own. It was as if inviting her to battle with him. And so she did. She answered his persuading. She moved her tongue against his own. Suddenly—

"Ah—" Yunoki stopped. She had just bit his tongue. Kahoko caught her breath. Surprised at what she had just done.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to do it." She doesn't know what to do.

"You're the worst kisser ever." He covered his mouth with the back of his right hand.

•END•

Yunoki atop Kahoko. He was kissing her like there was no tomorrow. He then lifted his head and kissed the hollow of her neck. Kahoko closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side. Yunoki kissed her earlobe. "Now, tell me you don't love me."

She loved him for years and she can't deny that. She wanted to stop everything and move on with her life… but how can she do such when he's chaining her?

Yunoki slid her blouse off her left shoulder. Kahoko held her breath.

She had to end this. But how? By lying to him that she doesn't love him? She can't.. she can't say it. But what about Len? Len… Tsukimori Len.

"Azuma, no!" She pushed him. "Don't make things hard. Don't hurt me, please." She was starting to cry.

In all fours, he looked at her. She was crying.

"Say it. Say you don't love me." His voice was hard.

Kahoko sobbed. She covered her mouth with the back of her right hand. She was shaking her head.

"Say it and I'll let you marry him." He stared deep into her eyes. "Tell me you don't love me and you will never hear anything from me ever again. Everything will end tonight… Just say it Kahoko. Say you don't want me anymore."

Kahoko closed her eyes. 'NO. NO. NO' She wanted him. Only him. Why does a thing have to be this complicated? She actually agreed to come meet him in his vacation house to end things and go where she ought to go... but how come she can't look at him and deny the love she feel for what's right? She has a boyfriend and her place is right at his side. Cutting ties with Yunoki Azuma is what's right… but how come that that right thing is breaking her heart?

"Say it!" He exclaimed. "Tell me you don't love me!"

"NO!" She exclaimed in return. "I love you…" She weakly said.

"Then stay with me." He lay atop her, embracing her.

"But—"

"Why does it always have a 'but'?" He buried his face on her neck. "You finally said it. Don't add anything anymore."

Kahoko embraced him.

"I made a mistake. I let you go… I made you think that I don't love you." He lifted his head and looked at her. "It kills me to know that you're his and not mine when you're not supposed to be his but mine alone."

For the first time, she saw him look at her with pain in his eyes.

"You're mine… mine alone but saying those words to myself merely makes me look like a crazy person." He closed his eyes. "I want you back. I want us back."

He's not really that open. He doesn't voice out what he feels… but right at that very moment. He's telling her his feelings.

"I wish I never left…" He opened his eyes and looked at her. He looked so hurt.

"Azuma.." She embraced him tight. "Don't. Stop it."

"I'm sorry." He uttered gently.

Sorry. Yunoki Azuma just said sorry to Hino Kahoko. He's saying sorry for everything he had done. He lowered his pride just to win her back.

"Azuma, I love you." She held his cheeks. "It had always been you…" Kahoko kissed his lips. Yunoki did not respond. He remembered the time when she asked him to look down just so she could kiss him. "Make me yours again."