Update 12/16/13: This is a revised version of original chapter. I noticed there was a a lot of pretty embarrassing grammar errors and mistakes. So I went ahead and corrected them without altering the story line. Hope this removes some of the headaches a few of you might have had.
The loud chatter of a thousand party guests filled the room as they waited in anticipation for the show. Two spotlights lit up on stage as visible silhouettes of band members were taking their seating positions and tuning up their instruments. Suddenly a very short person appeared as he strutted on stage from the right. He wore a sparkling dark red shirt, baggy checkered pants and cap, and dark red shades rested on his bright red nose, barely covering his beady black eyes.
"Good Evening everyone, good evening" he announced in a suave yet familiar Liverpool accent. The audience responded with light applause. "My name is Chip Charlie, and this is my partner in crime Pip…" he turned to his right with his hand out to see no one was there."Pip? Pip Potbelly! Get out here!" he scolded. A large fat man quickly ran out from the left side of the stage. He almost stumbled on his light yellow shoes as he met up with Chip. He had on a checkered suit jacket while the rest of his suit was dark red. A light yellow pork pie hat partly covered his eyes. Underneath that was a short black beard resting on his face. "There you are old chap, how many folks does it look like we look like we have tonight? Chip asked. Pip took out a pair of binoculars from his suit jacket.
"I'd say there are over one thousand strong rude boys and rude girls here tonight!" Pip responded in a guttural voice. His voice had an obvious faux accent that was an awkward mix of British and Jamaican. "Ladies and Gentlemen! It's nice to meet you all! We're from Outtatown, it's not far from Intown and Neartown"
"Alright, there a couple of things we need to ask you guys…" Chip spoke up. "Did you all come here to have a good time?" The audience responded with series of "yeahs". "Did you all put on your dancing shoes?" The audience gave the same response with greater intensity. "Did you all bring any tobacco with you?" The audience responded with a series of indistinct answers.
"Hey, no fibbing!" Pip playfully scolded as he wagged his finger. On the other side of the room, the water tower door opened up briefly to show Yakko and Dot tossing out two enormous burnt out cigarettes that let out a yelp as they fell. The door closed with a thud. "Good, leave the smokin' tonight to the band, musically of course." Pip answered.
"Alright then, what we need you to do now is to get off your fannies, tie your slacks up, break out your straight jackets, cause you'll be going crazy with our dance craze! Get ready to start dancing, bouncing, jumping, skanking, and a tiny a bit of moshing"! Chip shouted joyously. "Cause here in Two Tone Tower, we are going to rock out to the rocksteady beat, tonight!" Suddenly the entire stage lit up to reveal a massive band behind Pip and Chip. The band consisted of a three-piece horn section, two guitarists, a bassist, a drummer, an organist, and one person on keyboard.
"Are you ready?!" Pip shouted over the joyous sound of cheers and hollers from the audience. The entire band burst into a fast paced song driven by keyboard. Both Pip and Chip joyfully marched in place as Chip sang through a microphone.
"Naughty boys in nasty schools, Headmasters breaking all the rules , Having fun and playing fools ,Smashing up the woodwork tools ,All the teachers in the pub ,Passing 'round the ready-rub ,trying not to think of when the lunch-time bell will ring again." Pip joined along with him on the chorus line.
"Oh what fun we had ,But, did it really turn out bad ,All I learnt at school ,Was how to bend not break the rules ,Oh what fun we had ,But at the time it seemed so bad ,Trying different ways ,To make a difference to the days…" The two sang in unison. As the two frontmen sang, they jovially danced around the entire stage. Chip took out a walking cane which he occasionally used as a conducting rod. Pip took it from him, swinging and twirling it like was a baton. Afterwards, a brief keyboard solo followed in which everyone facing the stage was now wildly bouncing and dancing to the music. The spotlights went off briefly as blue and green lights began flashing about Chip sang.
Lots of girls and lots of boys ,Lots of smells and lots of noise ,Playing football in the park ,Kicking Pushbikes after dark ,Baggy trousers, dirty shirt ,Pulling hair and eating dirt ,Teacher comes to break it up ,Back of the head with a plastic cup..." The two repeated the chorus line again just before another keyboard solo, this time with blaring sax playing along with it. Chip ran towards the center of the stage and did a front flip and landed into a knee slide. Pip did the same thing but instead landed flat on his face. Both of them got up instantly.
"Baggy Trousers, Baggy Trousers, Baggy Trousers…", Chip sang just before the band ended the song.
"One, Two, Three, four!" Pip shouted just before the band immediately started up again. Both Chip and Pip were jumping simultaneously to the music, this time led by guitar. The two jumped and swayed as they sang in union.
"…It's no lie, it's no lie, them a tell me, you hugging up the big monkey man, It's no lie, it's no lie, them a tell me, you hugging up the big monkey man. Now I know that, now I understand, you're turning a monkey on me, now I know that, now I understand, you're turning a monkey on me. Aye aye aye, aye aye aye, ,Tell you baby, you hugging up the big monkey man ,Aye aye aye, aye aye aye ,Tell you baby, you hugging up the big monkey man…" As they continued to sing, Chip flipped on top the drum set as he danced and shuffled on it. Pip however went up notch and climbed up on one of the large speakers. He bellowed through microphone as he was hunched at top of it.
"I was on my way to Banbury Cross, Then I see a monkey upon a white horse, With rings on his fingers, bells on him toes, Sing a little song, wherever he be 'Cos he's a monkey, 'cos he's a monkey
'Cos he's a weedy little monkey man…" As they finished up the song, both jumped up and down again to the outro. Pip however lost balance on the speakers and fell off, landing on one of the horn players. Chip walked towards his partner with a playful smirk amidst the sounds of applause.
"Darn! Only two songs in and Pip has already managed to break something" he complained.
"No I didn't! At least I don't think so" Pip replied sheepishly. He got up and brushed the musician off who staggered around dizzily. Pip and Chip proceeded to breeze through several more fast paced and mid tempo ska tunes. As the concert progressed, the two front men displayed more of their energetic behavior. Chip would shuffle and dance about on stage while doing occasional acrobatic stunts such as doing front flips, somersaults, splits, and even dancing on his hands. Pip did a variety of antics such spinning around on his toes, jumping on top of drum set, doing front flips in which he nearly landed on Chip, and performing several unsuccessful stage-dive attempts.
"Say, is it getting warm in here or is it just me?" Chip asked as he wiped his forehead.
"Might be you, you sweat pretty easily" Pip commented jokingly with a grin. Chip gave a quick glare at him before he continued to explain.
"Not as much as you. It's just that when we rudies are around in Outtatown, no matter how much we perform, it's always lukewarm. But here in Burbank, this spot. We're starting to feel a little…"
"…Too Hot!" Pip finished his sentence as the band entered into a slow song. Several red and orange lights lit up the stage. The large man took off his suit jacket as he and Chip swayed rhythmically to the music.
"Too hot, this town is too hot, Now they're calllin' for their guns, about to spoil the rude boys funs, But rude boys never give up their guns, it's too hot" the duo harmonized together.
"No Man, can tell them what to do" Pip crooned.
"Pound for pound, they say, they're ruder than you; they are boss and no back down…" as they continued to sing, most of the audience was either swaying, slow dancing, or bobbing to the music. Meanwhile however, Tango and Mr. Plotz were sitting down in the back. Earlier, both of them were dancing just as energetic as the audience was. But they felt that now it was time for a brief break.
"Whew, those guys are a real workout!" Plotz huffed laboriously as he slumped down in a chair.
"No Kidding, Hey you're not as bad of a dancer as you let on. I knew there was a sense of rhythm in you" Tango panted as he fanned himself with his hat.
"Oh don't flatter me, they're not that good. I looked silly! " Plotz responded in a embarrassed tone.
"You're talking to a kid dressed like a table mat and you think you're the one who looks silly?" Tango responded. "But really, so what if you think your dancing is a bit silly? To be honest, I'm no great dancer myself. But as long as you're…" Tango was interrupted by the sound of a microphone being patted on stage.
"Excuse me, there's a quick announcement we need to make" Chip announced. "It looks like we are going have some special guests to perform with us, its tonight's party hosts!" he added as the band stopped playing. The audience gave a brief round of applause as Dot excitedly ran on stage, grabbing her older brother Yakko by the arm.
"Oh, looks like we got a rude gal up here tonight!" Pip exclaimed excitedly.
"And a cute one at that! Sorry for us not knowing but what's your name?" Chip answered.
"Dot, the Rudie Cutie" Dot responded innocently as she did a curtsy. Pip leaned down towards her face.
"Why not Rudie Dottie? It rhymes." Pip asked. Dot hastily grabbed Pip's tie.
"Cause it really doesn't and you'll die if you call me that" Dot warned as she let go of his tie. Pip stepped back as he chuckled nervously.
"And who are you?" Chip asked.
"Hired help" Yakko answered flatly as he raised his arm to show Dot was still firmly gripping on it.
"I've been there before, I understand" Chip said sympathetically.
"Really? So you wouldn't mind switching places." Yakko stated quickly.
"Don't mind him; he's still bit sore about losing a coin flip toss to me that would decide who would sing lead tonight." Dot explained.
"I should have used a half-dollar coin, then I really might have had a fifty percent better chance of winning" Yakko complained. While Dot and Yakko continued to banter with the two front men, Tango noticed the absence of a familiar face.
"Hey where's Wakko?" Tango asked.
"Oh I think I see him in the middle on the right side." Plotz answered getting back up. Tango scanned the crowd to see the missing Warner's familiar red cap bouncing up and down in the sea of crowd members. Next to him was the large body of another familiar figure with a bald head.
"Wait I see him, looks like Ralph is with him too." Tango spoke up. Before Plotz could respond, the band started up again in a fast paced organ tune. Chip and Pip moved off to either sides of the stage to give Dot and Yakko room to dance.
"I bought my baby a red radio, He played it all day a-go-go a-go-go, He liked to dance to it down in the streets , He said he loved me but he loved the beat" Dot sang brightly as she danced and skipped on her toes. "But when I switch on I rotate the dial,I could see it there driving him so wild,I bought my baby a red radio,He said he loved me but he had to go" As she sang, Yakko, whose sour mood had instantly vanished, copied her dance moves before coming up to the microphone to sing on backing vocals.
"It's just the same old show on my radio, It's just the same old show on my radio, It's just the same old show on my radio, It's just the same old show on my radio, On my radio on my radio on my radio…" The two sang together just as an organ solo started. Dot and Yakko rhythmically stepped and skipped in unison as blue and pink stag lights flashed about. Their performance revitalized the crowd's energy as many of the guests started skanking and jumping about. Chip joined in by dancing along with Dot and Wakko while Pip leaped off stage and successfully crowd surfed among of the guests. "Just the same old show on my radio, just the same old show on my radio, just the same old show on my radio..." the two Warner siblings sang in the outro as they jumped and fist pumped in the air. When the song ended, Pip had already got back on stage as Chip applauded them along with the audience.
"Stupendous! You guys were really cooking!" Chip congratulated as he clapped his hands.
"Thanks we would have had our brother Wakko on board but we couldn't find him" said Dot.
"Ah he probably went back and got some more of the sweets from the buffet. You know how jumpy he gets when he has those" Yakko added. Tango glanced at the cap of Wakko's bouncing head, which had barely moved from its spot.
"Jumpy indeed" Tango said himself.
"Okay, now is there anyone who wants to come up and join us?" Chip asked the audience. Several cheers commenced as several more hands rose up in the air.
"Oh man, there's too many to choose from!" Pip exclaimed as he gazed at the audience. Tango noticed this and then immediately turned towards Mr. Plotz.
"You know your dancing isn't that bad, in fact I think they're great enough to go on stage" Tango commented persuasively.
"Oh-no no, you've got more rhythm than me. Honestly you should be the one up on stage" Mr. Plotz protested.
"Plotz I'm more of a background dancer, not a foreground dancer, you should do it…" Tango replied. While the two of them were busy going back and forth, Chip scanned the audience and noticed the two arguing in the far back. The front man raised up his hands with a grin before casually walking off stage.
"…Tango, as C.E.O I demand you do it!" Plotz answered.
"Plotz, it's after business hours, your C.E.O powers don't work here!" Tango retorted.
"I have a better idea" A familiar voice interrupted them. Both Tango and Plotz jumped back to see Chip was suddenly standing in between them. A spotlight from the stage shone all the way back to the guard rail where the three of them were standing. A number of the guest's immediately turned around towards them. Chip pulled out a small gray box with a red button on it. "Why don't both of you do it?" Chip answered as he pressed the red button. The floor rumbled underneath Tango and Plotz. The two of them were suddenly ejected from where they standing and flew straight across the audience and onto the stage. Plotz almost collided into the drum set while Tango stumbled right into Pip's gut.
"Looks like we have two volunteers" Chip stated, suddenly back on stage.
"In-voluntary is more like it" Plotz grumbled as he brushed himself off.
"Hope you guys are ready sing and dance!" Chip stated placing the microphone stands in front of them. The C.E.O and the young man stood nervously as they looked at him.
"Oh no guys, I don't sing. I don't even have a song" Plotz protested.
"Not you, but I do. Hope you guys recognize it" Tango spoke up a bit shakily as he turned to the band behind him.
"Well in that case, you can sing and the other guy will dance. As long you guys are doing it the way you feel like doing. If you got in you, don't hold back" Chip stated excitedly.
"Go on. You guys can do it!" Yakko encouraged behind them. Yakko along Dot and the two front men moved out of the way. The massive audience that lay before them gave a number of mixed responses encouraging them to get on with the show already. Tango and Mr. Plotz looked at each other momentarily before giving each other a grin as they turned towards the audience. Both of them grabbed the mikes from the stands.
"Let's give em' a performance to really cheer about" Plotz answered confidently through the mike.
"Yes, lets" Tango replied through the mike. He momentarily moved away from the mike and gave Plotz a small sheet of paper."Hope you're a quick memorizer, these are only a few phrases you'll have to say" Tango muttered quietly to him. Plotz gingerly looked at the paper for a few seconds before quickly throwing it away.
"Berine Rhodes knows don't argue." Plotz responded flatly.
"Come on! Say it like you mean it!" said Tango. Plotz tipped the brim of his hat forward as he let out a toothy grin.
"Bernie Rhodes knows don't Argue!" Plotz yelled through the mike. A new upbeat tune with a melody enhanced by keyboard and guitar, emerged from the entire band behind them. A series of red and yellow lights flashed on stage as Tango grabbed hold of the mike.
"Why must you record my phone calls? Are you planning a bootleg LP? Said you've been threatened by gangsters, now it's you that's threatening me" Tango sang as he hopped on his toes and stepped side to side. Plotz did likewise as he mimicked his dance movements and moved around him.
"Can't fight corruption with con tricks, they use the law to commit crime, And I dread, dread to think what the future will bring, when we're living in gangster times"
"Don't call me Scarface!" Plotz briefly shouted as the band went into a brief instrumental break. Both Plotz and Tango became progressively more energetic. They simultaneously stepped out and side to side as they danced around the stage. Plotz improvised as he did a series of bent elbow fist punches while Tango occasionally stretched his arms in and out.
"Can't interrupt while I'm talking, or they'll confiscate all your guitars, and catch 22 says if I sing the truth, they won't make me an overnight star" Tango sang, returning to the mike. "Don't offer us legal protection, they use the law to commit crime, I dread to think what the future will bring, when we're living in gangster times"
"One, two, three, four!" Plotz counted out loud as he and Tango jumped away from the microphone stands. The two of them jogged and ran about on stage as the music continued to play. At this point they had completely lost themselves into the music. Mr. Plotz took bigger strides in each step as he wildly kicked his legs out. Tango mimicked his movements while shifting his shoulders up and down. He ran towards the edge of the stage and generated a crowd chant by shouting "Hey, hey, hey, hey…" A blistering trumpet solo soon followed. Plotz jumped about and did a complete backflip, then spun around before backsliding with his feet. Both Tango and Plotz ran in place as the energetic crowd chanted and cheered them on. The band played the melody one last time before completing the song. The crowd erupted into almost deafening round of applause. Dot, Yakko, Pip and Chip ran back out on stage.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Tango Mcfield!" Dot announced as she raised his arm in the air.
"Gentlemen and Ladies, Mr. Thaddeus Plotz!" Yakko added cheerily. The applause increased in intensity as Plotz took his hat off momentarily.
"Alright, stupendous you guys! Out of the entire show, it's easy for me to say that you two were the highlights!" Chip complimented as he clapped his hands.
"I guess it really does take two to tango, as long you got a guy named Tango!" Pip stated jokingly. Tango and the other two Warners groaned as Chip grabbed hold of Pip's hat and pulled it down over his eyes.
"Who didn't see that cheesy line coming?" Dot said sarcastically.
"Okay guys, as much as we had a great time with you all. It's time for us to go" Chip announced. The band behind them began jamming a slow tempo tune.
"We would like to do one more song for you all before we go. We feel this one says a lot to us"
"Really? What's it saying right now? Hello! Hello!" Pip called out to no one. "It must be shy" Chip gave his counterpart a playful shove.
"No lad, not literally. We're going to do a sing along, and we would like if you join along with us." Chip answered. The audience cheered with approval as he and Pip began swaying from side to side.
"Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think, Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink, The years go by, as quickly as you wink, Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, It's later than you think" The two front men sang together. Suddenly the tempo picked up a faster beat as they joyfully marched in place. Several multicolored lights came and the several neon light figures of dancing men and women glowed behind them. "Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think, Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink, The years go by, as quickly as you wink, Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, It's later than you think"
"I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you the band that has provided the wonderful music, all throughout this evening. Yakko, would you do the honors?" Chip answered.
"Gladly, on our horn section on the left, we have, Rico Rodriguez on trombone, Lee Thompson from Madness on sax, and Paul "Gus" Hyman from Bad Manners on trumpet!" Yakko answered ecstatically. The three members bowed to the audience. Yakko moved towards the center of the stage in front of the rhythm section. "In the center, David Steele from The English Beat on bass, Sarah Jane Owen from Bodysnatchers on lead guitar, and Neol Davies from Selecter on rhythm guitar, and John Bradbury from the Specials on drums!" Bradbury did a brief drum solo as Yakko walked over to the right. "And finally, these guys were hard to get, Mike Barson from Madness on organ, and Jerry Dammers from the Specials on keyboard!" Dammers waved to audience amidst the cheering crowd.
"Thank you" Chip replied as he continued to sing. "It's good to be wise when you're young, 'Cos you can only be young but the once, Enjoy yourself and have lots of fun, so glad and live life longer than you've ever done" Afterwards Dot, Yakko, Tango, and Mr. Plotz came forward skanking as they joined in the sing along.
"Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think, Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink, The years go by, as quickly as you wink, Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself ,It's later than you think" All five of them stomped about on stage as they a fist punched with each arm from left and right. Pip stepped forward wiping beads of sweat from his face.
"Oh we got to back to this place again man!" Pip stated cheerfully.
"Most definitely!" Chip added.
"Never right, yes I know, Get wisdom, knowledge and understanding, These three, were given free by the maker, Go to school, learn the rules, don't be no faker, It's not wise for you to be a foot stool" Pip sang as he stood atop of Barson's organ.
"Everyone Now!" Chip shouted as he raised his hands in air. Several of the dancing crowd members were clapping, jumping about, fist pumping, skanking, stomping, and a few had even climbed on the shoulders of others as they sang along with the group one final time.
"Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think, Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink, The years go by, as quickly as you wink, Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, It's later than you think! Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, It's later… than… you… Think!" The band swelled into a large crescendo before ending on a brilliant final note. The entire stage went dark except for a few spotlights. The audience's response was a clustered noise of cheers, hollers, claps, whistles, and chants.
"You rudies have been great! Take Care!" Chip announced as he and Pip tipped their hats. Both of them quickly ran off leaving only Yakko, Dot, Tango, Mr. Plotz and Tango on stage.
"It's been great having you all here tonight on this awesome party!" Dot cheered.
" We're really looking forward to seeing you all again sometime" Tango spoke happily.
"That goes double for me; hope you all had wonderful time! Take care!" Plotz added.
"Goodnight Everybody!" Yakko shouted cheerfully. The four of them ran off stage just as the spotlights went off. The audience was left in the dark as they clapped in unison and chanted the name of the single glowing neon sign that hung above the stage.
"Two! Tone! Tower! Two Tone! Tower! Two! Tone! Tower! Two Tone! Tower..."
Well it looks like their party turned out to be a great success! But it's not quite over yet! Stay Tuned for the final chapter which should be coming very soon.
The songs( mainly in live format) featured in this chapter are in order of appearance.
Baggy Trousers- Madness watch?v=6EOuDnSKxZM
Monkey Man- The Specials watch?v=i71NC9-s_A
Too Hot- The Specials watch?v=z8SIUtUAtrw
On My Radio- Selecter watch?v=VTGemShG6Q0
Gangsters- The Specials watch?v=INa_1zrKVMc
Enjoy Yourself- The Specials watch?v=rA2-6ZlOXeg