The Melancholy Schmaltz

•••

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: THE TRUTH

•••

"Well, that was quite grand." Kanazawa commented.

"It indeed is." Ousaki smiled. "Well, bookings for Hino-san seemed to have boomed when Tsukimori left to take over his family's business."

"He recommended Hino." Etou walked towards them.

Kanazawa and Ousaki looked at him.

"Where did you come from?" Kanazawa questioned.

"I came through the door." He shook his head.

"I wonder why Tsukimori-san left his fame." Ousaki said.

"Who knows..." Kanazawa shrugged. 'But it must be because of Hino.'

"Uhm, is Hino-san around?" Etou wondered.

"Why?" Kanazawa curiously asked.

"I bought her a cake." Kiriya answered.

"I see. She's not here so, can I have it instead?" Kanazawa smirked.

"NO." Etou raised a brow. "Is she not coming?"

"She ought to be here." He leaned on his seat.

Suddenly, the door slammed open.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" Kahoko panted.

"You're bound to take us all out for dinner." Kanazawa stated his punishment. "I want to have a buffet tonight."

"Wow. You must be a tough manager." Etou was amused.

"I take that as a compliment."He stood up. "Hino," He looked at her, then noticed that she had no violin case in hand. "Where's your violin?"

Kahoko immediately looked at her hands. "Oh no..." She leaned on the door. "I left it at home."

"Great." Kanazawa burdenly exhaled. "You're going to treat us all to have snacks."

"I'm sorry." She shook her head, feeling guilty.

"What's done is done. Now, I'd appreciate it if you call for some food." Kanazawa turned to Ousaki. "What do you want?"

Ousaki merely smiled. "Anything."

Kanazawa then turned to Etou. "Eat your own cake."

Etou went to take a seat. "I'm full."

"What to have..." Kanazawa turned to the ceiling. "Ice cream, pizza and hmm, think about what to add Hino."

Kahoko smiled. Kanazawa seemed to be in the mood today and he's being considerate. She wonders if he's aware of what is going on with her.

"Sure." Kahoko nodded.

•••

"You're booked for next week." Kanazawa informed Kahoko. "3 bookings for Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

"Okay." She nodded.

"We have to practice tomorrow okay? No excuses. No tardiness and FOCUS." Kanazawa said with full emphasis.

"Yes boss." Kahoko nodded.

Suddenly, they were startled with a knock.

"Get the door." Kanazawa turned to Kiriya.

"Why me?" He wondered.

"You ate. Now open the door." He looked at him blankly.

"I'll get the door." Ousaki volunteered to save the two from arguing.

"Hino, are you going to eat this last donut?" Kanazawa asked.

"No. Take it." She smiled.

Ousaki opened the door and smiled at the unexpected visitor.

"Is Kahoko around, Ousaki-san?" He said politely.

"Yes. She's right over there." Ousaki pointed Kahoko's direction.

Kahoko turned to the door and gaped upon seeing the visitor.

"Len!" She stood up.

Kanazawa was just observing her.

Len entered the studio and neared Kahoko. He turned to Kiriya and Kanazawa in recognition.

"Are you still busy?" He wondered.

"Not really. We didn't have any practice today." She was a bit tense.

"I see. I'm wondering if I can invite you out for dinner." He said.

"Dinner?" She hesitated. "I'm ought to take Kanazawa-sensei, Etou-kun and Ousaki-sensei to dinner."

"Really?" He merely replied.

"Oh, we can have it tomorrow Hino." Kanazawa stood up to get some water for himself.

"But—I" She wanted to interfere.

"Your boyfriend is inviting you out and you rarely see each other so might as well give him some time." Kanazawa took a sip.

"Thank you Kanazawa-san." Len bowed. "Let's go?"

Kahoko could no longer hold the situation. She had to go with him. He's practically her boyfriend... but she's not ready to face him just yet. She feels guilty.

–

Len brought his personal car. He was wearing a formal attire, giving her the idea that he just came from a meeting.

"I've made some reservations for us." Len turned to her. "I hope you'll like it there."

"Anywhere will do." She weakly smiled.

Len brought here in a restaurant which was somewhere near the beach. It was a very romantic place.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"Can you order for me? I don't really know what to pick." She simpered.

Len looked at her then picked something for her.

After dinner, Len told her that he'll take her for a ride and she agreed.

"Kahoko, you're not answering my calls." He said.

He brought her somewhere near the shipping docks but they just stayed inside the car.

With his question, Kahoko was stopped. "You've been calling?"

"Yes." He nodded with eyes focused on the sea lines.

"I'm sorry. I lost my phone." She said. It was true. The night that she and Yunoki were together, she lost her phone and since then she had no idea where it was. Yunoki even denied that he saw it.

"I see. You better buy a new one." He turned to her. "Its been a long time since I last saw you." He had a small smile.

Kahoko wanted to close her eyes. Her guilt is killing her. He loves her. He might be that hideous, but he loves her and she knows that. He's the total opposite of Yunoki. Len is tough on the outside but soft on the inside.

"I miss you Kahoko." He neared her. Attempting to kiss her.

Kahoko's eyes widened. She doesn't know what to do.

As his lips was placed on her own, she didn't move. Slowly his lips moved against her own.

To be honest, Len is a good kisser. He's as skillful at it as he is skilled in playing his violin. During their first intimate kiss, he merely caught Kahoko off-guard.

'When was it when he last kissed me intimately...?' Kahoko thought as she allowed him to kiss her.

•••

Flash Back

•••

The two were on their 3rd date as a couple. Len had been so busy and so was Kahoko who was just building her career as a violinist. Their schedules makes it difficult for them to be together but still makes time for them to see each other whenever Len's in town.

They had just finished watching a scary movie inside the Tsukimori residence, specifically in their theater room.

"I'm scared." She frowned. "Now I can't sleep if I'm home."

"I told you not to watch it but you're way to persistent." He sat beside her.

"I was just curious." She shrugged. "That monster is far too scary. I wonder what I would do if I am the heroine in the story. I would probably die."

"Stop thinking about it." He leaned on his seat and looked at her.

Kahoko noticed her gaze and so she turned to him. "Len?"

"Would..." He shook his head. "Never mind."

"You can tell me you know." She smiled. "Come on, what is it?"

"I'm wondering... would you mind if I kiss you?" He was kind of hesitating.

Kahoko tilted her head. She smiled and thought that he's cute.

"Why do you have to ask?" She wondered.

"I'm not good at this." He shrugged. "I don't want to be slapped, just like how girls react when they're startled."

"I won't slap." She chuckled. "And why would I? You're my boyfriend and I've known you for years."

"I will still ask." He had a straight face.

Len's adorable. He's a gentleman and he's too hideous but once you enter his world, you'll be surprised at how soft he can be.

With Len's answer, everything became awkward. Kahoko sighed.

"Did I make it awkward?" He leaned his head on the seat.

"Maybe?" She shrugged.

"Now, I really did." He shook his head.

And there was silence...

Until he broke it with another question.

"Don't get mad.." He slowly leaned in for a kiss.

Kahoko closed her eyes in anticipation. He was looking at her eyes. She looked all so innocent. His red-headed violinist girl.

He gave her a kind of kiss which was soft and yet conservative. It was kind of fascinating that she was able to describe it in such a way. She was stopped when their kiss turned sensuous.

Kahoko stopped and he didn't.

His had his hand on the back of her neck while his other hand was on her arm. He tilted his head from side to side... Leaving Kahoko in awe. Who would have thought that he could actually kiss that way? It was their first kiss with a tongue involved!

Kahoko responded. When they were through, they stared at each other.

"You're red." He commented.

"And so are you." She responded. She then laughed at how red he was.

•••

And here he was, kissing her sensuously while she's answering to his every kiss.

'Who would never love this guy?' She thought to herself. 'He's everything a girl can ask for. He'd never leave the person he loves, but why can't I—' She was stopped when his lips parted her lips and moved to her ear. He was kissing her there for the first time. Then slowly, his lips trailed down to her shoulder.

Kahoko shrugged. She does not know what to do.

Then he whispered on her ear. "I missed you so much."

Tears fell from her eyes.

"Don't love me." She mumbled.

Len was stopped. He immediately looked at her. She was crying.

"Don't love me. I don't deserve you." She looked at her trembling hands. "I'm sorry."

He went back to his seat. He understood. He does not know how but somehow, he understood. "Is it him?"

Kahoko gaped.

"I tried. I tried to forget him... to hate him enough but I couldn't." tears continued streaming down her face.

"Kahoko, can you imagine... or have you ever imagined your future with me? Being my wife and bearing my children?" He looked away. He had no emotion written in his face.

"I don't deserve you, Len..." She merely answered.

"So you never did." He said. "Did you ever love me?"

Kahoko was caught in great surprise. She loved him, but perhaps not as much as she loved Yunoki.

"I did."She nodded. "You're hard not to love."

"But why didn't you pick me?" He wanted full honesty now. No holds barred. 'Everything ends here, huh?'

Kahoko wanted to know why. She knew she's someone who's worthy to be loved. He's not hard to love, he's everything and he's far better than Yunoki Azuma, but why?

"He had my heart first." She covered her mouth, struggling to keep herself to relax and stop crying.

He knew he had her first but he hoped he can replace him. He's not insecure of Yunoki Azuma, he never was even if girls praises him like a god but if you speak about Hino Kahoko, he gets this feeling that he's not good enough. He wants her to forget him and the hurt he'd caused her and look at him instead. What hurts the most is that he couldn't get the woman whom he had imagined his forever with.

"I don't deserve to have your love. You deserve someone better." She said.

How can he actually wish that he has someone better when she's all that he wants. He stopped playing the violin for her, to have an equal fight with Yunoki Azuma who had finally debuted back to Japan, determined to take the girl he loved ever since high school.

"If I told you I loved you when we were in high school... would that make a difference?" He said sternly.

If she loved him first... would it make a difference? "I wouldn't know..."

"I see." He looked her from the rear-view mirror.

"Please forgive me, Len." She handed the ring he had given her. "Give it to someone who deserves you."

•••

He drove her home. For the last time, she kept saying that she does not deserve him when in fact, all that his heart know was that she's all that he wants.

He imagined his future with her. He imagined a beautiful house with two children. He wants to have two children, probably a boy and a girl. He wanted them to have her bright eyes and her smile. The little girl should probably look a lot like her mother, charming and sweet and the boy should look like him. Perhaps they could also teach them to play the violin. That would be a wonderful family. He imagined them to be happy... but just minutes ago, his dream turned to ashes.

He wanted to hate her. To curse Yunoki Azuma. The man who stole his happiness but how can he? She was never his to begin with. He had her but her heart was owned by him. He's going to lie to himself if he insist that he owned her.

He feels hollow inside. Is this what broken-hearted people feels? Then he must be broken-hearted. Mushy as it may sound but that was what he was feeling and there's no need to deny that.

"Second broken-heart, huh?" He mumbled as he thought of the first.

His first broken heart was when he saw Kahoko and Yunoki kissing in the music department when they were still high school.

•••

Kahoko was crying on the floor when Yunoki reached her apartment. He took her in his arms and told her not to cry.

"I feel so bad." She mewled.

He understood her feelings. Kahoko is never the type who would bear hurting someone, especially if that someone is close to her heart.

When she had stopped crying, she fell asleep so he gathered her in his arm and took her to her bed. He's somehow happy that her relationship between Tsukimori had ended but he had felt that something was up between them.

The Tsukimori Corporation was emulating with his company.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: UPDATE! Yaaaay! I am very bored today so I've decided to be productive by updating. When I typed everything, I had to remember all the brokeness that I've felt when I was broken hearted. Phew. I had to remember the times when I had to break someone's heart too. That feeling that you don't want to hurt him but you have to. It sure hurts. The guilt feeling does that.

I would just like to clarify. Len is insecure about Kahoko's feelings towards those who have tried unrequitted love. The normal question when your love interest loves someone else is... "What does she have that I don't have?" All the more insecurity there is if you are greater than the girl and yet your love interest sticks with her. I bet only those who had felt it, can understand. :)

I really had a hard time writing this. Len is difficult to portray. Its hard to portray him as someone who is broken-hearted. I hope I didn't make him OOC there.

What do you think. Bombard me with reactions, questions or suggestions. I am very much open. I need motivation and only your reviews can motivate me. Tell me what you think.