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"... Improbable Mission. Barton, Romanoff - you're up." Fury gruffed out, and as the two stood and approached center-stage, the Director went on. "So, not much of an imagination with this one. You two are secret agents carrying out an everyday activity, you will be given instructions for this every day activity from Tony; so Stark, the cards say you're supposed to stand up here. So hurry up." Tony blinked and muttered something under his breath as he stood up, arms folded, and headed over to stand at the side of Fury's desk. He was ignoring every one else for the moment with a bit of a scowl on his face as he stared off into nothing.
"And I'm supposed to get an idea from the audience about a mundane task." Fury turned to the crowd. "Suggestions! Go!"
Suggestions were shouted out, with Fury cupping a hand over his ear as if he couldn't hear any one of them. And then he suddenly brought his other hand up, having apparently finally heard one he liked. "A hair cut! We will go with that." He turned to Natasha and Clint, who were still standing there on-stage and looking at him. "So, secret agents. You're to give a hair cut, instructions from Stark. Go."
"I found another tape in the fridge." Clint said, approaching Natasha with one hand held up as if he were holding said tape.
"They know just where to put it." Natasha said, her voice sounding grave as her eyes settled on the 'tape,' shaking her head. Then she turned and proceeded to 'open' a player. "Let's see what they have us doing this time." Clint stepped forward and put in the 'tape,' Natasha closing it and pressing 'play.'
"Pepper," Tony whined in one of his best whiny-type voices, though it was muffled as if he were talking over his shoulder. "I am seriously in the middle of something here! I will come up and eat whatever after I finish recording this message for the super-secret super-scary spies; which, you know what? Why do they have me recording on a bloody tape, anyway? I mean, I could -easily-"
"Fast forward a bit." Clint cut in with a wave of his hand, Natasha nodded in agreement as she pressed the fast forward button on the 'player.' Tony did the obligatory fast-forward noise, then when Natasha took her finger off the button, immediately responded with,
"And do NOT tell me you just fast forwarded over my-"
"And again," Natasha muttered, holding down the 'button' again. Tony made the noise again, this time slightly squeakier, then gave a huge sigh when Nat once more took her finger off the button.
"Okay, down to business. Scary Assassins there is this dude at the Walla Walla Bing-Bang embassy downtown that's in dire need of a hair cut. There is to be a meeting of big-wigs in about five hours and if he shows up looking like a hippie, there could be an international incident. You're mission, and you've no choice but to accept it, is to give that dude a much-needed hair cut." Pause. "This message will explode and leave no traces behind in..."
Natasha jammed the button and opened the player, grabbing the tape while Clint made the motions of notching an arrow on his bow. Nat opened a window and tossed the tape out it, Clint quickly took aim and 'fired' out the window.
"Boom." Tony helpfully supplied, ending his transmission, and lowered his handheld mic as he remained stationed at the side of Fury's desk. His job now finished, he crossed his arms over his chest and stood there to watch the two Scary Assassins work.
"Well, we've got our orders." Clint began, drawing Natasha's attention away from the window.
"Let's go," The redhead said as she extended a hand and right away Clint reached out and, instead of a handshake, their hands wrapped around the other's forearm, their eyes locked as they seemed to brace themselves for the up coming mission. Right as their forearms locked, Mission Impossible-type music began to play rather loudly. Neither assassin seemed all too perturbed, but in the background one could see Steve apparently idly looking up and glancing around for the source of the noise; honestly the sudden blast of strange music had startled him somewhat, but then he glanced at Tony who happened to be sliding his phone back into his pocket with a rather suspicious-looking grin, and Steve relaxed back into his chair - it was simply business as usual. Tony had no doubt activated it somehow.
"So, we need to get to the downtown Walla Walla Bing-Bang embassy. And make sure some guy gets a haircut." Natasha reiterated after they'd stepped apart, to which Clint nodded.
"Piece of cake; we'll just hop on the quinjet and..." Clint spoke as he started to turn away, but was stopped by Natasha's hand on his arm.
"Wait! The quinjet's still under repair from the last mission, remember?" She said, dropping her hand as soon as Clint had stopped. Clint looked rather displeased and let out an aggravated breath of air.
"Right." Clint was silent for a second as he thought, his expression showing his concentration, then he suddenly snapped his fingers and grinned at Natasha. "The rooftops!" He exclaimed, his gleefulness at once putting Nat on guard. "We gotta get there fast as we can, right? Well there's enough buildings from here to there that we can just run from roof to roof!"
Natasha's closed expression did not reveal what she thought of this statement, but before she could respond, Clint had taken a running leap at one of the support beams of the building and was currently scaling it with impressive speed. Natasha sighed, her shoulders sagging as she took a step back, but then proceeded with a running leap of her own as she followed her partner up to the rafters. Completely ignored were the furious bellows of an increasingly irate Director Fury, as well as the boisterous laughter of a certain billionaire.
After several minutes of treating the rafters as their very own personal jungle gyms, Clint finally swung over to the catwalk and peered down at the stage below. Natasha abruptly dropped down beside him, and so they knelt side-by-side as they overlooked the 'embassy.'
"So, this is it?" Nat asked quietly, and somehow her voice was still being picked up by the mics. Either they were wearing well-concealed mics or it was something Tony had done, maybe a bit a both.
"Yep, the Walla Walla Bing-Bang embassy. And, we've made it without taking any damage." Clint responded just as quietly, turning briefly to grin at Natasha.
"Got to be some sort of record for you." Nat counters, smiling innocently when Clint's grin turns to more of a grimace with an added glare. Then he scoffed and move on.
"So which one is it?" Clint asked, looking over the 'embassy grounds.' Natasha too pretends to peer closely at the 'people,' then lifts her hand and points.
"There, that one. Got to be. He looks like Thor, but without the muscles."
"Or the face." Clint felt the need to add, then paused. "Or the height - well, okay maybe a little of the height." He went on with a tone of consideration, ending in a shrug. Natasha stared at him with an eyebrow raised, then shook her head and returned forward.
"Whatever, let's just get this guy."
Clint nodded his agreement as he stood up, then produced an actual rope from somewhere and tied one end of it to the catwalk. It was a little to high for just a simple jump, so...he threw the other end over the railing and quickly descended down the rope. Natasha rolled her eyes and followed, landing just in time to see Clint pretend to tap someone on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, sir? Hi. Yeah, my associate and I have something we'd like to talk to you about..." Clint spoke as he threw an arm around the invisible person, starting to walk away, when he suddenly turned and punched in the area a man's head would've naturally been, effectively knocking the invisible man out. This got a start out of Natasha, and in response to her surprised and displeased look, Clint said,
"What? This dude works at an embassy and is in dire need of a hair cut - you really think he's gonna go willingly?" Romanoff seems to consider this, as her head slowly bobs from side to side, then she shrugs and nods in agreement,
"Good point." She concedes as Clint picks the guy up and throws him over his shoulder. Then she looked around and said, "We'll need to get him into a secure room. Come on." They pretended to run around the 'embassy' for a moment or two before Natasha pretended to open a door, allowing Clint through before she closed and locked it. "Sit him down over there." She instructed, nodding to some point on the floor.
"A supply closet? Really, Nat?" Clint peered up at her with raised eyebrows, hinting at something more as he set the invisible man down. Nat's glare only hardened as she shrugged one shoulder, shifting her weight to lean slightly to the right.
"Gotta work with what we got." She said simply, then let her body relax as she asked, "Now, did you bring the scissors?"
"Scissors? I thought you had 'em last?" Nat frowned, shaking her head.
"No, I gave them to you."
"Well, pretty sure I didn't bring them - but hey!" Clint suddenly brightened as he thought of something. "I can give his hair a trim with one of my arrows!" He declared, and proceeded to brandish an invisible arrow. Nat stood completely still and stared at him for a full three seconds. Then she calmly walked forward and nodded.
"If this backfires, I am blaming you." Nat said as she knelt in front of him. "I'll hold him down just in case, you go ahead."
Clint grinned joyously as he went ahead slicing off the dude's hair with the tip of the arrow.
"I don't think either of us are carrying any wigs for the not entirely unlikely event in which you botch this up, so please, be careful." Natasha muttered, pretending to be keeping the guys arms secured while Clint continued slicing at his hair.
"Almost done," Clint said, made a few more motions, then leaned back with a flourish. "There! Master piece!"
Natasha leaned back herself, tilted her head from side to side, then nodded. "Not too bad, Barton, gotta say. Expected much worse." She said, smiling innocently at the archer. And then, the buzzer sounded. Clint stood up and brushed his hands off.
"So, that was probably one of the weirdest missions I've ever been sent on." Clint muttered aloud as he headed back to his seat. Beside him, Natasha snorted.
"Really?" Nat asked innocently, turning to glance at Barton. "Not me." She said. Clint turned to stare at her with a raised eyebrow, clearly an unasked question there, but before either could speak anymore, Fury cut in.
"Okay! Game is over, you two. That means quiet. And Barton, if you ever do that again..." Fury let the threat hang in the air, using his eye to glare as powerfully as possible at the archer. He was, of course, talking about the rafters incident.
"Hey, it was fun." Clint responded with a small smile, showing absolutely no remorse. Fury muttered under his breath as he turned back to the cards sitting on the desk before him.
"A thousand points each, I guess. Now, next game..."
So, that was it. Like it, hate it, wanna see something else? Please let me know. Bruce's chapter is still coming up - there may even be a possibility that Thor will be seen again, too! That said, it may be two weeks or so before I can get this updated again. If I take any longer feel free to gently poke me by means of PM or whatnot, 'cause I may need it.
...And because there are always stories fluttering through my mind, I am considering trying to actually write out a story idea I've had for a little while now, an angsty-type fic centered around Steve. Please let me know what you guys think.
Thanks so much for reading! Ta for now!