Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are Stephenie Meyer's. This story is mine, as is the MDMA I mentioned, and IT DOES WHAT I WANT IT TO DO IN MY STORY. Thank you :D

A/N: You guys are the best for sticking it out with me. Druggie Kid, or whatever... I dedicate this one to you.

I will also take this time to admit that I did not research the drug I chose to have James tip into Bella's shot some chapters ago. So kick me. *shrugs*

AlicePOV:

I was nervous. Actually, nervous didn't cover the feeling I had all day Saturday. I couldn't focus in yoga, forget meditating today. Rosalie was annoyed with me from the get go, but she tried to play it down best she could, not saying anything when I brought up the night to come for the hundredth time in an hour.

"I mean, I don't know what it is about her, there's something in her that I need to know! I need to touch her, Rose, I need to know she's there... and I don't even know her, yet." I shook my head as I toyed with the silver bracelet around my wrist, flicking the little ballerina charm that C.J. had gotten for me this last Mother's Day. "And C.J... God, I don't even know what to say about that, because if you haven't noticed, my son is just as enamored with her as I am! He currently thinks Bella is a god. What if we become official, fall in love, move in together, live an out life with C.J., and Bella helps me raise him for some years before something happens and we split up? What will that do to him?"

Rosalie sighed, reaching over to pat my forearm reassuringly, pulling up in my driveway. "I'm going to go after C.J.," she told me carefully, and when I opened my mouth to protest, she shook her head and went on. "You should wait for tonight to see her, it would just be a tease for you to see her now. Besides... I want to meet this girl. I told Emmett I would get him this morning, so he's not expecting me home, yet."

I pouted in the passenger seat of her Lexus for a moment, and then gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine. I'll go start lunch, and the three of us can eat when you get back," I muttered sullenly.

"Grow up, Alice, you'll see her tonight. Jeez Louise, you've got to get a grip on that heart of yours, girl."

She was right about that. "I know," I replied softly, not looking at her. I couldn't handle another Jasper, and the last time my heart took off like it was with Bella, it was for him. Something told me that she was different, but I had to ignore that little voice nagging at me. I couldn't afford another shattering of the soul I had worked so hard to piece back together. There were never tingles when Jasper touched me... it was hot, languid with him... but it wasn't the fluttery feeling I got in my gut when Bella's skin was against mine. There was a look in her dark eyes when she looked at me, and it didn't come with a side of sexy smirk like Jasper's eyes did. Bella's look was as intensely confused as I felt, and there was also the longing I felt. I was almost positive Bella felt the things I felt. With Jasper there was always questions in the back of my mind, and when he looked me in my eyes and told me that he wasn't ready to be a father, that he needed to live his life, I knew I was right. He left me and his one month old son for the military, and we've never heard a word from him. I closed my eyes at the memory, pain cutting across my breastbone.

"Alice?" Rose said my name quietly, and I looked over at her with tears standing in my eyes. "It's going to be fine. You've made it this far; you can do anything."

I nodded and gave a small smile at her encouraging words, and she pulled me into a one-armed hug before releasing me with a tiny push. "Now go on in there and rustle me up some grub!"

I gave her a horrified look at her too-Southern accent and ridiculous facial expression and shook my head slowly, like she was hopeless. "You remember when you got so mad because you were put on the short bus? This is why, Rosalie," I quipped at her, dodging the smack she tried to lay on my naked arm, and jumping out of the vehicle.

"It was behavior disorder!" she yelled at me as I laughed at her. "I got suspended for the rest of the year from the normal bus line for beating up those two boys and you know it! I beat them up for picking on you, shrimp!"

"Fat lot of good anger management did you, too, huh?" I went on, earning myself a middle finger and a not-so-nice suggestion. "Be careful, and be nice to Bella. I love you," I said to her with a sweet smile, in response to her desire for me to go fuck myself.

"Yeah, I fucking love you, too. And I'll be nice to Bella... as long as she's nice to you."

I shook my head at the underlying threat in her voice, and shut the door, watching as she backed out of the driveway and spun tires as she took off down the street. My best friend was amazing, she loved me, and I loved her. She could be impossible, though, and I could only hope that Bella didn't get smart with her if Rosalie said anything. I could see Bella's sarcastic lilt infuriating Rosalie easily. I shook my head again as I walked to my front door, digging through my purse for my house keys, hoisting my gym bag further up my shoulder. The damn thing probably weighed as much I.

The house was quiet, save for the barking at the back door, letting me know that Hyde was ready to come in and see me. I smiled to myself as I let C.J.'S new puppy inside, and the little chocolate lab barrelled through the hallway to the living room right past me, and then he ran through the dining room, then I heard his paws click on the tile in the kitchen, before he came back out of the office, having made a full circle of the downstairs. I caught him before he jumped up on my clothes, squatting down to rub his belly when he flipped over with his tail beating the carpet wildly. "Hey big boy," I said in my normal baby-talk tone I took when I spoke to this unbearably cute puppy. I could have punched Edward when he gave C.J. an animal for his birthday, but I had to admit: he was growing on me, despite the pair of heels he ate the day we brought him home. "How has your day been? Been chasing off those mean old cats next door?"

He followed me as I went into the laundry room and started taking my dirty clothes out of my bag and stuffing them into the washer, turning it on and leaving my empty bag on top of the dryer, taking my water bottle with me to wash it, as well. I took a glance at the grandmother clock in my living room as I passed through to the kitchen, lamenting that Bella wouldn't be off work for another eleven hours. What was I going to do with myself until then? I groaned, flopping down on the couch, and grunting when Hyde hopped up there with me, in my lap and trying to lick my face. "Stop it," I told him, laughing. "You're going to classes, young man, you need to learn some manners."

I made pasta salad for lunch, and was nearly finished with it when I heard the front door slam open and the familiar sound of feet running through the house. "Christopher Jasper Whitlock, what have I told you about running in the house?" I turned around to find my son blushing and ducking his head.

"Sorry, Mommy," he said softly, before he looked up at me. "Why didn't you answer the phone when I called you?"

"I'm sorry, my phone is in my purse, and I was making lunch. Why did you call?" I held back my grin at how important C.J. made phonecalls out to be, like he was calling to tell me the secret to life.

"Bella said to tell you to bring my guitar to her and she will switch the strings for me," he said excitedly, and I knew why the call was important to him now. He was in love with the guitar Emmett had gotten for him, despite it not being set the way he needed.

"Okay, I will," I promised him, and he grinned that grin that reminded me so much of his father. I looked away from him, a pang in my chest. "Now, go wash up and change into your play clothes before Hyde gets you dirty. We're going to the park after we eat and I clean up."

"Yay! Can we take Hyde's ball so I can throw for him?"

"Sure. But remember that we have to go to that special part of the park before you throw it. Remember what happened yesterday when you threw the ball for him?"

C.J. grimaced at the memory of his puppy jumping dead in the middle of two guys on a picnic, sending their food flying everywhere as he chased his tennis ball. "Yes, ma'am, I remember. What are we doing after the park?"

I gave him a sideways grin and looked at him from the corner of my eye so I didn't miss his reaction. "Oh, you know, I thought we'd go to Conez and get ice cream. What do you say?" I knew his answer, of course, but it still made me insanely happy to see the light in his eyes as he swelled up with barely contained excitement.

"Can Hyde have one, too?"

I made a face at the thought of what might happen if the dog ate ice cream. "No, sweetie, I think it would make him sick. But well take a treat to give to him when we're eating our ice cream, okay? So he's not left out."

"Okay! I'm going to go change!" He turned around and took off out of the kitchen, nearly bowling Rosalie over on his way out and up the stairs.

"Whoa, kid, watch where you're going!" his godmother laughed, shaking her head at him. "Mmm. Alice, it smells wonderful in here. Pasta salad? Vinaigrette?"

"Yup," I replied, mixing the pasta in the bowl. "It'll be better tonight when its cold, but it should do okay for now."

"Well, don't let me distract you, carry on," she said with a grin, leaning against the door frame, watching me bustle around in my kitchen. "So... I met Bella."

CRASH. The crystal bowl I held in my hands to store the remainder of lunch hit my ceramic tile floor and shattered into a million pieces at the mention of her name. I looked up at Rosalie with a sheepish grin and a blush rising up my neck, and she merely shook her head at me with an amused expression.

"Really, Alice? She does that to you?"

I nodded, looking at the mess I'd made, just so I didn't have to look into that penetrative gaze from Rose's ice blue eyes. I always felt like she could see all my secrets without so much as a peep from me about my inner workings.

"I'm going to end up in prison, aren't I?"

I did look up at this question. "Rosalie... I don't think she is like Jasper... I think there's something between us, something I never knew could exist in real life."

"Well, she didn't get defensive and loud with me when I talked to her," Rose said conversationally, and I raised an eyebrow. I knew what her "Talks" with my potential dates consisted of, and it was all I could do to pray that Bella would actually want to see me tonight.

"What did you say to her, Rose?" I sighed, moving to get the broom and dust pan to clean up the glass from my slip-up.

"You know. I upped the threat a little, considering the weird way you already seemed attached. It's only been a week, Alice."

"I know," I whispered, not looking at her.

"She's cute, I give you that," Rosalie went on, as if she hadn't heard me, but I knew she had. "She seemed receptive enough of vital information that will keep her alive, so I don't see an immediate problem." She shrugged nonchalantly when I glanced at her as I began to sweep.

"She's beautiful, but that's not it, Rose. There's-"

"-a story there, blah blah blah. Yeah, I heard you the first thousand times. Shit." I gave her a helpless smile, and she made a small motion of her hand to show me she didn't really mind, and was only kidding. I knew that, though. She knew she was my only ear I told all my thoughts and feelings, and I hers. That was the best thing about my brother and best friend falling in love.

"You still didn't tell me what you said," I reminded her, and she cleared her throat, averting her eyes from mine.

"Well, you know..." Her voice trailed off as both of us heard my son's footfalls on the stairs and Hyde's panting tongue as he was running down them, too.

"Later," I muttered as C.J. appeared in the kitchen with his furry shadow right behind him.

"Is lunch ready?" he asked me, then he spotted the mess I was cleaning up. "What happened?"

"I had an accident with a bowl," I said with a tiny laugh. "And yes, lunch is ready. Did you wash your hands before coming down?"

"Yes, ma'am," he answered, and I eyed his hands; he used to try to pull sly ones on me.

"Give me a few minutes to get this cleaned up, and I'll get you a bowl."

He nodded and went around the opposite side of the island to sit at the table, and I gave Rosalie a relieved look. I didn't want him to know about Bella and I being interested in each other, yet. It had nothing to do with the fact that she's female, because I have raised my son the way my parents raised me: love is love, no matter it's gender. He was well aware of the diversity in this world, and I answered his questions as honestly as possible without getting graphic. I merely couldn't tell him that I was seeing her until I felt it was real enough to introduce her into his personal life as such. I refused to cause unnecessary upheaval in his life; Jasper did enough of that before C.J. was even old enough to remember him.

BellaPOV:

I kept glancing at my phone for the time.

7:00.

7:30.

8:23.

8:37.

8:41.

8:52.

At 8:56, I couldn't handle it anymore, and I called lights off, and shut down. My two cashiers, Chelsea and Heidi, pumped their fists together in some ritual they do when they get off work, and I rolled my eyes. According to the conversations I can't help but over hear, they go out to bars and have competitions on which one can get more numbers than the other. They were both kind of airheads, and they really got on my nerves. I suspected Aro kept them around for the same reason he hired me. He kept me because I was goddamn good at my job.

"Okay, hurry up and Z those drawers out," I said impatiently, ready to count the frigging money and get the fuck on. Alice would be here in an hour, and I had a few things to do... and these giggling idiots were hindering my progress.

"You okay, Bella?" Heidi asked, a farce of concern etched on her heavily lined eyes.

"Fine, just come on with it, I don't have all night."

I took it upon myself to lock the front doors, and I headed to the back to turn off the overhead sign for Volturi Music, listening to Dumb and Dumber whispering behind my back. Whatever. I was too consumed with my nerves for the next few hours of my future to be concerned about what those two were on about.

The drawers came up balanced, I set them for the morning shift, locked them in the safe, and turned out the office light as I went to the front to shut down the various light switches, and I froze when I saw a small shadow standing on the other side of the glass door, holding a guitar in one hand. After a moment's initial shock, I realized it was Alice, and she was about fifteen minutes earlier than the previously agreed time. I didn't mind in the slightest, only I was confused about the guitar, until I unlocked the door and let her in. It was C.J.'s guitar.

"Hey," she said quietly, giving me a tiny smile, which I returned.

"Hi," I replied, tearing my eyes away from her lips and back to her eyes, which crinkled in her amusement. This woman knew exactly what she was doing to me. "I see C.J. told you what I said, huh?" I went on, gesturing to the little blue Fender.

"Oh, you know it," she laughed, and I felt a swoop in my belly at the sound. "The first words out of his mouth when he came flying through the door this morning after his lesson."

I chuckled and took the guitar she handed me. "You want me to do this now, or...? It wouldn't take long."

"Well," she said slowly, glancing off to her left and back at me, "I was wondering if you could show me how to change his strings? You know... just in case he needs help with it one day?"

"Sure," I blurted out without thinking about it, a blush rising to my face, but I shook my hair over my shoulder to hide it as I turned around to find a pack of strings and a wire cutter. "Let me just get the stuff I need."

"Could you elaborate on 'stuff'?" she asked me with a giggle that made me blush harder. I was extrememly grateful she couldn't see my face. I couldn't even begin to guess why I was blushing, either. I felt like there was more to this small lesson she wanted, but I was nervous about what exactly it could be.

"Strings,and this little handy device that saves me about three different tools in one. The usual." I was being vague on purpose, just to tease her, a small revenge for the heat in my face. I was actually going to buy C.J. a three pack of the best (my opinion, of course) acoustic strings in our store, and this little hand held tool that had a bridge pin puller, string winder, and a wire cutter wrapped all in one. I slid the pack of D'Addario EJ16s off its peg, and picked up the nifty little thing I used at home with Love, calculating the cost in my head as I motioned Alice over.

"These are the best acoustic strings on the market, in my personal opinion. And this little guy right here-" I waved the tool, "-is a life saver, trust me." I made a face as I loosened the keys on the headstock of his guitar.

She was quiet as I went through these steps for her, and every time I glanced at her to see if I was still holding her attention, I saw her navy eyes trained dead onto my hands as the pushed and pulled, twisted and tightened. Her jaw was clenched, like she was trying to concentrate really hard, and I wondered what she was trying to push out of her thoughts.

"It's harder, this small guitar... If it were a full size guitar instead of this little thirty-four-inch..." I let my voice trail off as I finished tightening the last string and then flipped the device in my right hand to cut the excess string loose. "And... there we are. Tell him to keep this, and these strings. I'll teach him how to use it, eventually."

Alice nodded, running her fingers up the new strings I had threaded to her son's guitar. "I like the way they feel... silent, powerful," she said softly, looking up at me as she slowly slid her hand up and down the strings. "Kind of like you... you say so little, and I hear so much... Why, Bella? Why do we connect like this?"

I shrugged, placing a hand on top of hers as she moved it up and down the neck, feeling the bumps of the frets. "I'm not sorry for it... I am glad I met you," I told her honestly, swallowing the nerves that fought to shake my voice. "But I am scared of feeling like this. I've never been in a relationship, not a real one. I had a farce of one with my step-sister- before she was my step-sister- but other than that, I have only had flings... and less than I could count on one hand." I cleared my throat. "Most of those I picked up at bars, and one of them I worked with in Forks, when I worked at this sporting goods place."

"I've had even less experience than that... Jasper was my longest relationship, we dated for a year before I got pregnant, and he left us when C.J. was a month old. And I was with a woman named Kate for less than a year, when C.J. was around two. He doesn't remember her at all. I've not had a steady relationship his whole life, and I'm scared... well, my son thinks the sun shines out of your every orifice right now, Bella. I am scared that if we get too involved, and he finds out..."

"He knows you like women?" This was something I had been wondering since our breakfast date.

"He does. I've raised him the way I was raised... love knows no gender."

I nodded, noticing that our hands stopped moving along the strings nearly a full minute ago, and yet neither of us tried to pull our hands away. "My father raised me the same way... it was almost like Dad knew I was going to be gay. He didn't even blink when I told him I liked girls. He might have blinked if I told him how I knew..."

Dad and Sue both would have heart attacks if they knew a fraction of what Leah and I got up to as kids... we'd been fooling around since we were eleven, and had already had sex by the time we hit the doors at Forks High School when we were fourteen.

But about Alice's fears concerning C.J... "Then we don't mention it for now," I went on, knowing she knew what I was talking about. "I know we're both pretty sure this isn't a fleeting thing, but we don't want to spring it on him too soon, if it doesn't work out. I don't want him to hate me for hurting his mother, or have him angry at you for hurting me."

"Okay... but he is going to notice if we start spending a lot of time together, you know. He's very observant," she reminded me.

"So we're friends," I answered her with a shrug, and she nodded slowly. "Besides, we'll tell him if we... you know, if it becomes serious." It was already serious to me, Alice just didn't know that. I was humoring her with these plans of action for C.J., but I really didn't believe we needed to lie to him at all. This, whatever it was between us, it was real... or as real as I could imagine real to be, anyway.

She turned her little hand beneath mine to where her palm was against mine, and then slid her fingers through mine, holding it comfortably. Our hands fit very well, and I thought briefly about whether or not our bodies would fit quite as flush as our hands. Her hands were so soft, like satin against the rough dry skin of my fingertips, callused from years of guitar strings sliding across them. I hoped she didn't mind them. Leah always hated them, always complained that I didn't use enough lotion. She didn't understand that the calluses I worked so hard to develop was what allowed me to rip my fingers across the strings the way she liked to hear me play. But as Alice now took her opposite hand and gently rubbed her fingers across the tops of mine, I knew she was aware of what those strings did to my fingers. She was aware, prepared, and judging by the smile on her face, pleased with them. "I love your hands," she whispered, as if she were reading my mind. "Everything about you is in them, and if I can learn the language, I would totally listen to the stories from them forever..."

I felt my breath hitch in my chest as she bent her face down to our interlaced digits and placed tiny kisses on each of the four fingertips of my left hand, and then straightened up to look directly into my eyes, which I am sure were wide with shock. Alice's mouth has just touched my body... and it wasn't even a kiss on the lips... but yet my breath stops? I was reeling; she made my body lose all sorts of functions. "You have forever to become fluent in Bella, I think," I found myself replying, once my breath had returned, and it left again at the smile that broke out across her features.

"I'd like to think so... ready to get out of here? You've been here all day," she said with a giggle, and I realized we were indeed still standing in the lobby of my personal hell hole.

"Oh, God, yes. Hold on, just let me flick these last few lights out..."

It wasn't raining (can you believe it? I can't.), so we decided to take my truck out to the Sound to park and talk, so we could sit on the back and strain our eyes against the city lights to see the stars. Alice was cute in my big cab, riding in my passenger seat as if she'd done it every day for years; she had the window all the way down, with her right foot sticking out, and her left propped up on the dash board, her short hair waving hypnotically in the wind, her eyes closed as she let her face bathe in the cool summer night air. My old radio was set to Seattle's oldies station, so I merely hummed along to J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers as they sang "Last Kiss". I could play the Pearl Jam version of this on guitar. I think it evolved into more than humming without me realizing I was actually singing under my breath, because I heard a little laugh from my right that jerked me out of my reverie.

"I thought you said you couldn't sing to save my life or yours?" Alice said lightly from beside me, and I gave her a confused look, which made her sigh and roll her gorgeous eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her as I turned into one of many parking lots near the Puget Sound, and chose a spot carefully close to the water, and started to back into it.

"Just now, singing that song under your breath. I heard you. I'll bet you can sing, and just don't like people knowing you can."

She wasn't the first to say something complimentary about my voice, but I didn't care to use it very often, regardless. "Maybe... something like that, yeah." I left it at that, but I also reached over and turned the radio off as I pushed the parking brake down with my left foot.

"One day, I'm going to know things no one else does, you know," she said confidently, and I was strongly reminded of C.J. when he had made up his mind on something, and then had to convince me to go along with it.

"I'm sure you already do," I teased her, knowing full well what she meant.

She reached over and hit my upper arm playfully, and we both laughed. "About you, Bella," she elaborated, and I nodded. She was probably right. But tonight, she was blissfully ignorant of me, of my past. I could enjoy this while it lasted.

I let down the tailgate of my truck and hopped up on it, offering a hand to Alice when her first hop came to nothing but her landing back on the ground. "Come on, short stuff, just jump a little harder," I laughed as I held out my hand, and she took it with a scowl.

"I hate that," she grumbled as she settled in next to me, taking care not to let go of the hand I had given her. She once again laced our fingers together.

"What?"

"The nicknames. Midget. Short Stuff. Shorty. Lil' Bit. Small Fry. Anything anyone calls me that has an allusion to my height."

Sensitive about her height. Check. "Okay, I'm sorry," I said sincerely. "I won't do it again, I promise."

She shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "It's okay, you didn't really know... and it was sort of... cute, coming from you."

"Cute?" I made a face. I had a general distaste for the word, when concerning myself. It was a weak description, completely general, and I liked notorious...

"Yes, cute. You're cute, all over," she went on, and from the tone she took, I think she understood the look my face took on at the usage.

"If you say so." I found that I couldn't argue with her. I didn't want to, and I really hoped she found me... cute... for real. I think I might have been a little disgusted with myself for even feeling that way.

She was sitting close, so close that our thighs ran symetrically together, and our hands rested on both our laps. I searched my memory for another time I'd sat so close to someone, and couldn't find anything. Maybe Leah, but we were always so careful about our... situation... getting out in the open, that affection like this was more than off limits. As for the other four girls I'd been with intimately, we never had the time to bond, I never let it happen. A couple of them tried to sit with me like this, but I was never comfortable with it.

Alice made me more than comfortable with it. I felt like I couldn't live without it.

"So, considering we didn't get to do everything you wanted to do today, does that mean it's technically still your turn to take me out?" she asked after some long seconds of easy silence, just watching the light flash out over the water.

I looked over at her, momentarily forgetting her proximity so that I was surprised to find her face so close to mine. My eyes fell directly down to her lips, (I wonder what her kiss tastes like?) and I stared for a few seconds before I remembered she had asked me a question, and I shifted my eyes upwards to hers. "Uh... I... guess?" I said weakly, still thinking about what it would feel like to kiss her. God, I wanted to know!

"You guess?" she repeated, and I swear somehow that it seemed like our faces were closer, and her voice had taken on a low, teasing tone. It was the sexiest thing I had ever heard.

"I... guess, yeah. My turn. Still." I couldn't even form a full thought, much less a full sentence, with her lips so close to mine, and seeming to be getting even closer.

"Still?" she whispered, and I felt every fine hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand to attention with the hot air I felt rush across my face with her taunting reiterations.

"Yeah..." Her nose was against mine, and my eyes slid shut in acceptance that I was about to kiss Alice Cullen, and it was coming so much sooner than I could have ever imagined. It was right... It wasn't rushed... I didn't want to turn around and run from her, and she was this close to my lips with hers...

"How about now?" she whispered, and I felt her lips form the words against mine... all it would take was a final press...

"Please?" I requested, and I meant so much more than just letting me take her out. I meant everything, and I knew I didn't have to explain it to her, and it was a beautiful thing when I finally felt her press her lips against mine.

Time stopped moving. Traffic shut up. Lights shut down. My heart stopped beating. Everything froze with just that simple pressure, and the time it took for my brain to get kicking enough to kiss her back. I was spinning as my body took over, kissing her like I'd never kissed anyone before, with this... fire that seemed to strat in my gut, and flamed up to consume my entire being, soul and all.

I realized I had never really kissed anyone before this moment.

It terrified me.

What do I do now?

It was all I could think about after I had dropped Alice off at her car, making promises that I would be in touch with her soon. What the hell do I do now? She lights me up... she could also burn me down.

Was she as worried about her heart as I was worried about mine? She'd known love and loss; I have not. Could I take the risk of being a heart break for her? Could I run the risk of her being my first one?

A/N: This is probably going to be the last post for a minute... I am moving 5 hours away come this week, and when I am not moving my junk down there, I will be working. Please trust me when I say I WILL NOT abandon this story, IT WILL BE FINISHED, and if it interests you, please put it on alert so you'll know when I'm back...

And when I come back... the chapters will FLOW like the water for which I took my name.

Adieu.