Kudos to anybody who caught the Doctor Who reference last chapter! (Yes Glimare, I'm nodding at you xD)

Chapter Three: Bottom or Top?

This Isn't What It Looks Like

He wasn't quite sure what he was hearing, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. After all, it's not every day that you're woken up by the sounds of moaning, panting and an occasional scream.

His first reaction was fear – fear that someone had broken into the manor. Then he realized that the sounds he was hearing didn't match up to screams of terror. And the moaning and panting, what was all that about? He felt his face heat up as he identified the sound. It was coming from Dick's room, and he found himself wondering if Dick had… invited… Barbara to stay the night.

It was hardly his place to… interrupt… the two of them, but he needed sleep and he needed it bad. Sighing, he prepared himself to become mentally scarred.

Now, he had expected to hear Barbara's voice when he approached the door to Dick's room. Which is why he was caught by surprise at the sound of Jason's voice. Not just that… his voice was… keening?

"Why haven't we done this before?"

"I don't know," came Dick's panting voice, and after what seemed like an embarrassed pause he added, "but how would you feel about going for a round two?"

"You're too quick though! If we go for a round two, I'm going on top."

"But I like being on top! Even doing… this… why are you such a control freak?"

"Dick, come on!"

"No!"

"I swear if you don't go on the bottom for round two I'm forcing you to."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He heard a whispered, "No," from Dick, and then a growl from Jason. "That's it -!" there was the sound of a body hitting the floor, and then Dick's voice again. "Jay, get OFF of me! I already told you I want to be on top! OUCH!"

"Shut up and quit being a baby about it!"

"But JAYYY! Look at the mess you're making!"

"Just take it bitch!"

There was the sound of more scuffling and panting, and he felt his jaw drop when he heard Tim's voice. "Oh god, I can't watch. Why are you two forcing me to watch this!?"

"I already told you," Jason growled, then grunted in what sounded like pain, "Dick, stop struggling! It'll only hurt more!" followed by a muffled "NO" as though Dick had his face in the carpet. He had a hand on his mouth now, unable to comprehend what he was hearing. He couldn't take it anymore. As soon as Dick let out a pained scream, "JAY THAT HURTS!" he burst through the door.

It was probably the oddest sight he'd ever seen in this household.

A determined-looking Jason had Dick, whose face was flushed in anger, pinned on his stomach while Jason held his arms tightly behind his back. Both of them were sweating. Tim was on Dick's bed, frowning at the two of them. They all froze and looked up at him with wide eyes (even if half of Dick's face was still being pressed into the carpet).

"Bruce!" Dick squeaked as Bruce glared at them all. Jason's jaw had dropped at the sight of Bruce, "Oh God! I swear, Bruce, this isn't what it looks like! …Or sounds like…"

Bruce turned to a red-faced Tim, who promptly hid his face in one of the pillows. Dick gave a mighty shove that sent a still shocked Jason toppling onto the floor. Dick looked extremely uncomfortable as he faced Bruce.

"We were playing Wii Fit," he explained sheepishly, glancing over at the gaming system (judging by the screen on the TV, that is indeed what they had been doing).

"Bruce, they're terrible at it!" Tim whimpered, as though watching them play a video game was physical torture.

"That's only because Dick sucks when he's on top of the raft! He should go on the bottom and help push instead of jumping around!"

"Like you'd do so much better!" Dick yelled, and Bruce stared at them all. He wasn't quite sure what he was hearing, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He left the room without another word, leaving three extremely embarrassed birds behind.

Yep, you waited all of that time just for that! (I was in a lecture class that was four hours long, so yeah, I decided to write a little snippet that I figured would work here. If it sucks, blame boredom)

So did I have any of you fooled, or no?

Also, If anyone has any suggestions or requests for this fic, I'd love to do them! Hit me with as many as you got.