"Call 911! Someone!" Kurt screamed, finding himself unable to pull his phone out of his pocket.
Instead, he clutched Blaine's hand in both of his. Blaine was still struggling to breathe, lying there on the floor.
Kurt wasn't crying. Why?
It was so surreal. Blaine couldn't be lying there, unable to breathe, right?
One doesn't even have to think about breathing. It just happens. Therefore, it had to happen.
Right?
What the hell was happening?
Kurt had thought he'd have to comfort Blaine. He didn't expect to find him lying half-dead on the floor.
What was wrong with him?
In his mind, he had seen Blaine crying and so, so upset with his own decision.
Now, Kurt could see tear tracks on Blaine's cheeks, but he knew that they were borne from desperation and fear, not regret.
Blaine must have been terrified.
All alone, unable to breathe. No wonder he had tried to get out the door.
Hell, Kurt commended him for even having the ability to connect his mind with his body long enough to almost get out when he was obviously panicking.
In the background, above the pounding in his ears, he could hear Trent talking on the phone.
Kurt tried to understand what he was saying, but it sounded like a low murmur, and he couldn't understand it.
"Blaine?" he pleaded, putting a hand on the boy's chest. It was rising and falling rapidly, but it wasn't moving much. In fact, he could hardly feel it moving at all.
That was bad. Kurt had expecting to see Blaine fighting mental demons. Instead, he was warring with physical problems.
He couldn't breathe. Something had been wrong. Kurt had seen the fear in Blaine's gaze when he stepped in the room. Blaine had been on the ground and wheezing loudly and terribly.
Kurt knew that Blaine had been panicking, and in retrospect, that probably hadn't been a good idea.
It probably made his breathing even faster and even shallower. That would have definitely added to the problem.
"Please, Blaine," Kurt begged, clenching Blaine's unresponsive hand in his own. Blaine's eyes stayed closed. Kurt wished that he'd give some sign of knowing that Kurt was there. However, he knew that was irrational.
Blaine had already been so out of it when he entered… In fact, Blaine hadn't even seemed to register his presence.
Did he know that Kurt was there for him? Kurt suddenly clutched at his hand even more desperately. Tears began to gather in the corners of his eyes, but still, they did not fall.
In fact, he was watching Blaine with a strange clarity, as if it was truly only a TV show or something like that.
"Blaine," Kurt repeated. "Blaine! Please!"
Kurt didn't know what he was asking Blaine to do.
To wake up?
To not get worse?
Kurt paled as the thought crossed his head. What if Blaine got even worse?
What if Blaine died?
"Blaine," Kurt gasped as tears finally began running down his face. "I love you. Please, Blaine."
Kurt was feeling sick. His hands were clammy and his stomach hurt, but none of that mattered.
When had he last told Blaine he loved him?
Oh, right.
It had been before Blaine had told him he wanted to just be friends for a while.
Blaine had told Kurt he loved him, too.
Kurt was suddenly reminded of what the New Directions had been singing right before he'd told Blaine that.
"Like a drum my heart never stops beating..."
That wasn't true.
Blaine was lying there, and he was hardly breathing.
His heart could stop beating.
Blaine could die.
He wasn't breathing.
Kurt didn't know what to do. Blaine looked so small lying there. Before, he had been wheezing, but now he hardly made a sound.
Kurt wanted to believe that was a good thing, but now, Blaine's chest was rising even less for each breath.
"I love you long after you're gone, gone, gone…"
And Kurt would.
Blaine had left his life for a while, and he had been miserable.
For a while, he tried to drown his sorrows out with Adam, but it never had been the same. Kurt had wanted Blaine.
He just didn't want to recognize that.
Now, Kurt wished desperately that he could go back into the past. Blaine deserved more – much more – than being ignored for so long.
No wonder Blaine had left McKinley. No wonder Blaine had been so afraid of losing his friends that he took an illegal drug to fit in.
Blaine just hadn't wanted anyone else to abandon him.
He didn't want any more Kurts in his life.
In fact, that was also why Blaine had wanted to just be friends.
What had he said?
That he wanted to wait until graduation?
Blaine had been terrified that they wouldn't make it if they tried to do long distance again.
He had thought that they would fall apart, and that Kurt would ignore him again. So he did whatever he could to keep that from reoccurring.
Looking down at Blaine's form, still shuddering slightly with each forced breath, Kurt realized something.
Well, he didn't really realize it.
In fact, he thought that he always knew it. No, instead, he recognized it.
Blaine wasn't perfect. Kurt's old illusion of a perfect boyfriend wasn't true.
No, Blaine had many faults, and Kurt knew of each and every single one.
And that's how he knew he loved Blaine.
Because even when Blaine messed up or they fought, even when he felt he couldn't stand to be near Blaine or that he was going to die, he knew that he still loved him.
Kurt had spent quite a while deluding himself that Blaine was only a high school thing.
No, Blaine was forever.
However, staring down at Blaine's still body, Kurt wasn't sure if that was true.
He would love Blaine forever, but suddenly, he wasn't all that sure if Blaine would be there for forever.
Suddenly, Kurt wasn't sure if he'd even be there tomorrow.
Because the hand he had on Blaine's chest wasn't moving anymore.
It wasn't quivering.
It wasn't rising or falling.
At all.
With a scary clarity, Kurt knew.
Blaine wasn't breathing.
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Hey, guys! I'm so sorry this is late! Life's been pitching some curve balls at me, and I'm struggling to deal with them!
So, tell me what you think!
Please review!
Thanks to all my old reviewers!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Glee or Darren Criss.