Sam raced after the paramedics, waiting only long enough to know that he would not be in the way before running after them. Kurt hesitated only a second before racing after him.

Most people only realize what they have when it is gone. Kurt was no exception. He loved Blaine, and yes, he had lost Blaine for a little while. Still, though, he had spent so much time – wasted so much time – feeling betrayed and angry and all of those other emotions that, in the end, only lessened the time he spent with Blaine.

And it wasn't like he was blameless! No, he had ignored Blaine. New York had become more important than Blaine. He knew the truth now.

Nothing was more important than Blaine.

Now, as the ambulance drove away with Blaine dying inside, he realized that no amount of time spent loving Blaine was enough. He was such an amazing person, and he deserved everything and more.

Blaine deserved more love than Kurt could ever give him, and yes, he could make mistakes. Kurt had been quick to tell him his faults in the past.

He wished he knew what had happened to Blaine. Last year had been so perfect. Yes, they had had hiccups, but their love pushed ahead, and they never fell apart. Kurt believed they would always love each other. That would never stop. And – he hadn't stopped loving Blaine, not for one moment or a single second. Yes, anger had clouded his thoughts and blocked his heart, but love rang true in the end.

He could only hope, however, that this wasn't truly the end.

And he wondered – couldn't help but wonder – if Blaine had stopped loving him. Kurt wasn't stupid. He'd seen Blaine with Sebastian and with Sam. He was, at the very least, attracted to them.

And Finn said that Blaine kissed Sebastian. It had slipped his mind earlier – what did it matter with the mess his life had become tumbling on?

Now, it mattered.

Did Blaine still love him? Kurt thought he did at Sectionals. He had acted like he did.

Blaine had kissed him and told him he loved him.

That would have been enough.

But… he then said that they should just be friends, breaking Kurt's heart – again.

Kurt felt like he was getting some mixed signals. He had no idea what was running through Blaine's head.

Right now, that didn't matter. Blaine needed everyone who loved him to be there for him.

Kurt could hear the pounding feet of the Warblers behind him. He kept running, darting down the stairs. The paramedics had used the elevator, and there was enough room for Sam to be in there too.

He and the others were forced to go the long way. But as long as Blaine was getting to the ambulance, it didn't matter.

Kurt hurtled out the doors as he reached the bottom of the stairs. Blaine had already been loaded onto the ambulance. Sam was standing there, talking to the paramedics. His hands were motioning like crazy; it was clear that the conversation was rushed.

Sam saw Kurt almost as soon as he was out the doors.

"Kurt!" he shouted. "I'm going with Blaine to the hospital. You and the Warblers can follow."

Kurt opened his mouth to argue that he should go with Blaine, but he closed it again and nodded. Sam tore the ambulance door open and stepped inside.

And like that, the vehicle was off, lights flaring and whirling as it sped away.

He hadn't been able to argue with Sam. Sam had been there for Blaine when Kurt wasn't. In the end, Sam seemed like a much better friend (after all, that's all he was to Blaine) than Kurt ever had been.

Had he and Blaine ever really been just friends? He didn't know.

Kurt shook his head and turned to face the Warblers that had followed him out.

Trent was there and Jeff and, of course, Sebastian.

"Look, I'm following the ambulance to the hospital. If you want to come, then get into my car."

Kurt felt a bit bad for being so terse with them, but he didn't care at the moment. He had to focus on Blaine.

The three Warblers nodded, wide-eyed. Kurt whirled around and began to jog towards his car.

"Kurt!" Trent said, interrupting his thoughts. "You shouldn't drive-"

"I have to!" Kurt snapped.

"Let me drive," he pleaded. "Look, you're shaking."

"What? No – I'm," Kurt looked down and saw that Trent was telling the truth. "But…"

"Just let me drive, Kurt," Trent said.

"O – okay," Kurt said, handing Trent his keys.

Trent nodded and sent a tense, half-smile in his direction.

Then he opened the door to the driver's seat and entered the vehicle. Jeff jumped into the front seat before Kurt could, but he didn't argue.

He just sat in the back. As long as they were going to the hospital, then it didn't matter.

Sebastian was sitting on the other seat in the back. He cleared his throat awkwardly in the silent car and leaned away from Kurt.

He was crying. Kurt was sort of surprised that the guy who almost blinded Blaine a year ago was crying over him now.

"Goddammit," Sebastian said, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. "I broke his rib." Kurt felt a flash of anger because, yeah, Sebastian did break his rib… but he did it trying to do something Kurt couldn't.

Save Blaine's life.

"You didn't mean to," Kurt found himself saying. "I'm the one that started this whole mess."

"Kurt, you didn't mean for this to happen," Jeff said. "I couldn't get in the room when Blaine couldn't breathe. And I didn't think to get Sebastian's key. I just ran around like an idiot."

"And I ignored you when you said something was wrong," Trent said.

"God, we really fucked up."

"But blaming ourselves really won't help Blaine. So let's just get to the hospital, okay?" Jeff said.

"Yeah," Kurt breathed, feeling exhausted and scared and so helpless. "But I do want to know why Blaine took the steroids in the first place. It isn't like him – just why'd he do it?"

"To stay in the Warblers," Jeff said.

"Trent? Did you take them?" Kurt asked.

"No," Trent snapped. "I didn't. I'm not a Warbler anymore."

"So… why didn't Blaine say no?"

"Well… he, uh," Trent began and cleared his throat. "He agreed because he felt like he was losing all of his friends. He thought the New Directions hated him because the Warblers won Sectionals. He thought that we'd hate him if he didn't. And, well, he thought you hated him, Kurt, because he said he was confused and didn't want to lead you on or something."

"He – he thought I hated him?" Kurt whispered, more tears beginning to run down his cheeks.

"Kurt – don't think that that's the only reason he did it. I was short with him. Told him he was following the stereotype to keep his friends, and that I didn't think he'd ever change himself to fit in," Trent said.

"I know it wasn't the only reason. It just hurts that I couldn't make him feel less insecure. You do realize that the doctors will find out about the steroids? They'll do tests, and it'll be on his record? Forever. That's most likely going to keep him from getting into a performing school for college. At least a good one, anyway."

"No – but Blaine," Jeff protested. "He doesn't deserve that."

"Then why'd he take them?" Trent said, raising his voice. "Why'd you take them, dammit?"

"I – I wanted to stay in the Warblers. That really doesn't seem like a good enough reason now, does it?" Jeff said.

"No," Kurt said. "It doesn't. But that can't be changed now. You guys made your mistakes. Maybe if you stop now, then you won't be disqualified."

"Why does that even matter anymore?" Jeff protested. "I care about the fact that Blaine is going to have to deal with the problems caused by the stuff we did."

"Actually," Sebastian said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "He won't. I – um, Blaine didn't take the steroids."

"What are you talking about Sebastian?" Jeff said. "I watched him. He swallowed it. God knows how he could stand the taste."

"Exactly," Sebastian said. "I knew everyone would inject it so they wouldn't taste it. But Blaine… I couldn't see him using a needle for it. So I switched the drugs out with flavoured water."

"You did what?" Trent said, gripping the steering wheel harder.

"I… I didn't want Blaine to be pressured into taking the steroids, but I didn't have the opportunity to convince him not to. So, I switched the steroids out."

"So you're saying that Blaine never took the steroids," Kurt said.

"Yeah," Sebastian replied. "He's clean."

12312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312312

Hey guys! I'm sorry it's been forever and a half since I updated! I'm off of school until Tuesday, so I'll be doing daily updates until then to make up for it. My life just kind of exploded with stuff to do. For the past month, I've been leaving the house at seven and getting home at either 8:30 PM or 1 AM depending on the day.

However, my life is now much calmer (I won't be getting home at 1 AM to do homework anymore!)

Anyway, other news: Who's seen Starkid's new musical "Twisted?" It's absolutely awesome, but if anyone doesn't like swearing, then it is NOT for you.

Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate it here in America! (Even though Thanksgiving really didn't happen and the settlers massacre of Native Americans is the biggest genocide in history…)

Anyway, thanks to those who're still giving this fic a chance!

Please review, and thanks to those who have!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.