Chapter 15
Edd went to the library while Kevin had practice that night. He didn't like wearing the scarves inside, though in the cool air of the library it wasn't as bad, but the need to work on his lab report overrode his need for absolute comfort. Their room held too many distractions and Edd found it difficult to concentrate when it really mattered. He settled into his favorite corner of the library with his computer and a few of the books he had borrowed; he sat in a corner of the forth floor where students rarely ventured. The lights were bright but not glaring, the scent of books near enough to calm him into a sedate study without distracting his attention to their hidden secrets, his seat was comfortable enough to ward off neck cricks and stiff muscles without being so cozy that he risked falling asleep. He spread his books on the table in front of him, computer out and ready for long, sure fingers to hastily add keystrokes to finish his report. He plugged his headphones in to a mix of classical music and modern orchestral pieces which he preferred to listen to while he studied.
With a small smile and a sigh of the comfort of being in one's own element, he started his work. His fingers flew over the keys like a concert pianist, adding sentences, paragraphs and pages to his paper. His appendix grew quickly, footnotes adding addendum and citations where necessary, and his works cited page exceeded even his own expectations. Like a well constructed concerto, Edd's paper hit crescendo and diminuendo, stuccato and legatto, adagio and allegro with perfect timing and grace. By the time the librarian announced that the building would be closing in ten minutes, he had nearly finished his report, needing only to make his final argument on his findings and conclude his work. He stretched, rolling his neck around his shoulders, raising his arms above his head and shrugging to relieve what little tension had accumulated. He carefully repacked his bag with his computer and books and walked toward the stairs to exit the library. He took his time leaving and waved goodbye to the student behind the desk on his way out, a girl he knew vaguely from one of the lecture halls, though he couldn't remember which.
The night air was crisp; his breath visible, hanging about his face as he walked toward his dorm. Frost collected on the grass, trees, and bushes. He rubbed his hands together quickly to create enough friction to warm them temporarily. He lost himself in thoughts of a warm shower and the even warmer company of Kevin's body in bed later that night. Their conversation two nights before had been mulling in his head all day, offering plenty of distraction when he allowed it. He caught himself up in that conversation on his walk back and never heard the three men approaching him from behind.
His building was in sight when his vision was obscured by what felt like a pillowcase as it was pulled over his head. He started to scream and received an elbow to his stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of his lungs. He was then hefted and carried over a shoulder, squirming but knowing it was useless.
Kevin and Jason were walking back from practice, much later than usual, when they both received simultaneous texts from Chris asking them to come back to the field for a quick team meeting. They both found it odd but agreed to change and meet back up in a couple minutes. Kevin went back up to the room, and found it oddly empty, especially this time of night. He dropped his duffle and changed into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a zip up before meeting Jason back outside to hike back over to the soccer field. When they arrived at the field Chris was giving them both a sick smile. He still wore his practice uniform, complete with cleats and shin guards. Mud and sweat streaked his forehead and his hair stood at odd angles.
"What's going on?" Kevin asked, looking around at the rest of the team. Three of the seniors were missing, but everyone else seemed to be present with the exception of their coach.
"Oh, we've just got a present for you, Kev."
Kevin's stomach dropped. He didn't know what that meant, but he had a distinct feeling that whatever this "present" was, he wasn't going to like it. He looked around for something he had missed, but whatever it was, it either wasn't there or it fit into their duffle bags. Images from the hazing seminar he'd been required to attend floated across his memory; paddles swinging, shots being poured down throats, among other much more humiliating acts. He was fairly sure they wouldn't do anything to him that would ruin their chances in the championships, which meant he had to be able to play.
"Ah," Chris said, snapping him out of his reverie. "Here it is now."
Kevin turned around as the three missing seniors came into view. One carried something over his shoulder, though from the distance they were at, shortening every second but still far, he couldn't tell exactly what. As they got closer he saw it moving and realized it must be a person. A sick twist tightened his stomach. He didn't think they were capable of it, but the idea that it was a girl for him to "prove his manhood" on crossed his mind. Surely Chris wasn't that sick, that perverse. But no. No they were within the distance of a soccer field now and he realized exactly who they were carrying.
Edd struggled over his shoulder, twisting and kicking. Kevin couldn't see his face, but he knew without a doubt that it was Edd. That Chris's present was much more than just something Kevin wouldn't like.
The senior carrying Edd, Lucas Kevin thought vaguely, dropped him unceremoniously on the ground and pulled off the hood they had shoved over his head. Edd looked scared and confused as he sprung to his feet, looking around, his eyes landing horribly on Kevin. And without looking, Kevin knew that Chris was grinning at him like a wolf.
Edd fell to the cold ground with a thump, jarring him and dazing him slightly. The pillowcase over his head was ripped off quickly, nearly taking his hat with it. He sucked in a clean breath of air and felt less light headed immediately; it had been nearly impossible to breathe with the material covering his face. The shock of cold air against his face also helped knock him out of his confusion more quickly. Taking stock of his body he felt bruised and sore from the indelicate way he had been carried, and the even more painful way he had been dropped, but he seemed to be in one piece for the time being. He quickly got to his feet, scared of what he assumed came next. The soccer team stood surrounding him, Kevin and Jason in front of Chris looking confused and angry. His heart dropped. It didn't take his massive IQ to know why he had been brought there and what they had planned.
"Show that annoying fucking nerd how you really feel about him," Chris said menacingly through gritted teeth. He pushed Kevin toward Edd with a violent shove.
Edd tensed, unsure what sort of violence to expect. He hadn't felt fearful of his boyfriend since childhood, but it was the boys in back of him, what they could force him to do one way or another, that caused real fear. He was no match for Kevin physically, and with the strength of the entire team behind him, with their swift feet and strong muscles, any chance of beating them or running would be impossible. Kevin stepped closer to him. Edd closed his eyes, not wanting to see the boy he cared so much for pushed to do whatever he was going to do. Without opening his eyes he could tell that Kevin was close. He tensed his body, hoping that Kevin would be gentle enough to spare him another trip to the hospital for the semester. He knew, without a doubt, that this was the last thing either of them wanted to happen, but Edd accepted that Kevin might not yet be ready to come out, as he had insisted he was. He felt a rough grasp behind his neck and wondered vaguely which boy was holding him like an old punching bag. He heard a heavy breath from Kevin, he'd be able to recognize that sound among all the rest, knowing the patterns of his voice and breath intimately. He then felt the unexpected pressure of Kevin's mouth against his own lips. Kevin's breath was hot and his other hand, for it must also be his against his neck, groped at Edd's back.
When they broke the kiss, Kevin turned to the team behind him and said, "That's how I really feel about him. If any of you have a problem with that—"
"What?" spat Chris. "What will you do if we have a problem with it?"
A murmur ran through the team, some angry, some unsure. Edd started to twist the hem of his shirt, sure that both he and Kevin were going to be beaten to death.
"What does it matter?" One of the boys stepped forward. "If he likes a dude, even that one, does it really make a difference?"
Chris turned to the boy speaking. "What does it matter? Maybe I don't want some fag," he spit the word with venom, "checking me out in the locker room. And I don't want to worry that the same fag won't get the pass because he's too busy checking out my ass. Gays have no place in sports. Especially not this one."
Kevin snorted and Edd saw a dangerous glint in his eyes. "I haven't missed a pass because of your ass ever, I assure you. You've got an awful high opinion of yourself for someone who can only get a girl to sleep with him when she's drunk or you've hooked one of her friends up with someone better."
"At least I sleep with girls."
"At least my partner is consenting when he's sober," Kevin retorted. His eyes flashed in a way that Edd didn't like. He realized that Kevin's behavior indicated a need to protect Edd from his team, but the glint of danger in his eyes was likely to override common sense if it came to a physical altercation.
Most of the team stood watching the two boys fire back and forth at each other, the only exception being Jason, who stood nearby still, obviously starting to get tired of it. "Christ, you two, knock it the fuck off. Chris, we need him on the team, he's scored more in this season than half those guys. If you have such a problem with it, it's your senior year and you can quit. We'll manage without you for the championships. Him, I'm not so sure about."
A couple of the guys nodded, agreeing with Jason.
"If you're really going to suggest that I should leave the team because of some fag—"
"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm telling you to suck it up and be a team player, whether or not you agree with his life choices, or to get the fuck off the team. We don't need this bullshit. We need to focus on the game, not on who Kevin or anyone else is sleeping with."
Edd glanced between the two older boys. Chris's knuckles cracked and a large vein throbbed in his forehead. Jason's jaw was set firm and tight, his eyes glittering dangerously, hands clenched at his sides. Kevin, surprisingly, looked cool and collected. He almost seemed relieved. The dangerous, defensive look had faded as more of his teammates contemplated what was more important to them, though Edd suspected it was still there, ready to jump back at the first sign of danger to either of them.
"Fags have no place—"
"Keep using that word and I promise you'll regret it." Jason's voice was low, a vein of poison ran through it. Even though Edd knew Jason was defending them, he was still a little afraid of the boy whose voice sounded like arsenic.
"Fag. Queer. Homo. Fairy. Ass bandit—"
Chris was stopped by a very hard swing at his stomach. There was a slight squelching sound, followed by a gasp of air, and finally a groan. It seemed to knock the air out of him and buckled him over, dropping him to his knees. He gasped up at Jason and his teammates surrounding him. They all seemed to be at a crossroads, unsure who to side with. Even if they agreed with Chris, they had to take into account that Jason was going to be captain in a little less than a week, while Chris would be graduating.
Jason shook out his hand and wrist, clenching it into a fist once or twice more. "I warned you. If I hear it again I swear to God I won't be as nice. Edd? Kevin? You guys want to go? There's nothing else that's going to happen tonight." He seemed to be turning to leave as well.
Edd was unsure what that meant in regard to later. Kevin seemed to understand the implication in the now though. He grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back toward main campus without a backward glance. Edd had just enough time to pick up his discarded bag from the ground and hope that his computer hadn't suffered any damage.
Kevin didn't say a word the entire way back to their dorm. He held Edd's hand tightly and half-dragged his boyfriend up to their room. He tried to suppress a fine shake that was quickly developing in his muscles. When the door was shut he pulled Edd close to him for a moment, holding him in a strong grip and inhaling his scent. Then he put him at arms length to look at him.
"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"
Edd shook his head, and Kevin wasn't sure whether he was responding to the first or second question. "I'm fine. A few bumps and bruises but essentially fine. No lacerations or contusions worth noting."
He nodded. Edd's formal speech spoke volumes about his fear and uncertainty of what could have happened.
He pulled Edd into a strong embrace again, now that he was sure that he wouldn't hurt him with a rough hug. "I never would have hit you. Never."The words were garbled in Edd's t-shirt, hard to hear, but it seemed Edd understood regardless.
He felt Edd nod over his head. "I know. But you could have. I would have understood why."
He shook his head. "I wouldn't have. I couldn't."
Edd shrugged. "You have before. Not in years, but I could have withstood it."
He shook his head again. "I couldn't. Even if I had wanted to, I don't think I could have lifted my fist to do it."
Edd kissed the top of his head, finally warming into the hug. "I'm glad you couldn't. I'm sorry that you were forced to do anything before you were prepared."
He shrugged. "It's probably better this way. I tend to be better unscripted. And at least now it's out in the open. No more secrets. No more hiding." Kevin linked his fingers with Edd's, voice softening. "I can kiss you where ever I want now."
"Mmmm," Edd said. "I'm pretty sure you took that liberty before you were out, if the marks trailing down my torso are any indication."
Kevin laughed a little.
"What about your scholarships?"
He shrugged again and moved to sit on his bed, Edd following closely, standing between his legs, hands still entwined. "You were right. They can't kick me off the teams because I'm gay. So I have at least the rest of the year with my scholarships. After that, if they don't want me to play, I'll get loans. Maybe my dad can help me out. I don't know. I'll figure it out." He leaned his head toward Edd, foreheads touching, nearly nose to nose.
Edd nodded.
"I'm not going to drop out of school. And I'm not going to leave you here alone." He kissed Edd to seal the promise.
Edd responded with a happy sigh, stepping into the kiss while simultaneously pressing his hips against Kevin's.
Kevin held Edd close all night, and the next morning he skipped his first class to continue to hold his boyfriend close to him. He knew he shouldn't; Edd protested at first, but the temptation was too much for both of them and Edd relented quickly, enjoying the extra time in bed together. For the first time Kevin thought about saying how deeply he cared for Edd, the words bubbling up in his chest but he held them back for the time being, unsure how quickly he really should say something so big.