Chapter 2: Believe

Fitz POV; Shortly after Thanksgiving

It had been since the beginning of the summer since he's since Olivia. She walked away from everything that they had together when she handed him back to Mellie to create "America's Baby." Since he outright refused to father another child with her, she took matters into her own hands of course. He hated the turn of events that occurred that day but despite everything he still LOVED Olivia more than anything. He still wanted to be with her. That was never going to change.

Fitz decided after the 20/20 interview that it was time to take matters into his own hands. He had finally had enough of everyone telling him what to do with his life and how to live it. Living with a woman he despised and never loved the way he loves Olivia was not working for him any longer. He was still going to be the "Man She Voted For" but much more than that to her. He is Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, President of the United States and it was time he took HIS LIFE in his own hands. He thought how can he run a country if he can't run his own life. When everything was said and done, he would reveal his true intentions for all involved.

/

As the months passed, the closer it came to Christmas, the more he missed Olivia. The White House was impeccably decorated. There had to be 10-15 trees all over the White house. Each one decorated in a different theme. Each fireplace was coordinated to match the tree and the room the tree was in matched it perfectly. With all this "Christmas Cheer" around him, Fitz still felt more alone than ever.

Even though he threw himself into his work, the only holiday moments that gave him any peace now where the ones he shared with Olivia before he became President. It was technically their Christmas together and she was teasing him about how he so needed a Charlie Brown Tree to make him more the "Man of the People." He had wanted one when he was a child but never got one. He didn't think they made them anymore.

That Christmas he had given her the "Teddy Roosevelt" bear, and she kissed him to death for it. He'll never forget how surprised and happy he made her that day giving her that special gift. Her grandfather started a tradition with her when she was a baby and since the campaign she had no time to go shopping. That was the perfect gift for her. After she finished hugging him and "Teddy," she pulled out a long cylindrical box.

He gave her the strangest look and opened it. After he tore the paper off, his eyes just about popped out of his head. "Holy mother of God! How did you, where did you….You actually found me a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree!" He said at the top of his lungs. Fitz was so excited that his normal baritone voice went up a few pitches.

"Yes I did Mr. President, I hope you…" before she could say another word, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

"Livie, thank you so much. I always wanted one when I was a kid but my father said it wasn't fitting for a Grant."

"I live to serve the President, Fitz." She said to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, kissed him, then buried her head into his chest.

"I love it, and you. I will treasure it always, like I treasure you Liv. But this year I already have everything I could ever want. I have you."

After he said this to her, she hugged him tighter, not wanting to be out of his arms for a moment. "Merry Christmas Fitz."

"Merry Christmas Livie."

After they had exchanged gifts they decided to sit down and watch some TV. She snuggled with Fitz on the couch and rested her head against his chest. He wrapped himself around her body and could not have been happier at that moment. He found it adorable when Olivia got so excited that The Polar Express was just starting. He had no idea how much she loved the movie, and was content in being able to cuddle her while watching it. A memory that he would cherish always.

/

He was brought out of this memory as he walked into his private office in the residence. "Charlie Brown" sits by the window in here. It makes him feel closer to her. This is their tree, as silly as it may sound. Plus Mellie hardly ever goes in there and when he's not in there working, the door is locked. He's been sitting in there a lot lately, now that Christmas was just around the corner. Most of the time he sat and looked out the window, looking in her apartment's direction. He knew where it was in the skyline.

When the White House had the official tree lighting ceremony, he SO hoped she would have come. Cyrus apparently asked her, and she declined. Cyrus could tell that Fitz wanted her there just to see her, but he knew her seeing Mellie's baby belly would have been too much for her. It's too much for him most days.

However, he knew that Cyrus saw Olivia once a week in the park. He figured it out one day when he came back from seeing her calling him the "Man of the People." Only one person calls him that, Olivia. He asked how she was and all Cy could tell him was that she was busy. He wanted to ask Cy to ask her to come see him, but he knew deep down that once she handed in her hard pass she would not return. He thought about going to her apartment again, but he didn't want to give her another heart attack like last time.

He put these thoughts and others out of his head and knew he would spending Christmas in Santa Barbara with the kids soon. Christmas at home with the family would be nice, if it wasn't for the camera's, the press, and photo op's Mellie would insist on doing. When he spend that Christmas with Liv before he took office it was the best one that he had in a long time. No press, no cameras, no pretending to be happy when you weren't. It was just him and the woman he loved. A perfect Christmas and how he longed for it again.

He wanted that Christmas back with Olivia and all the ones to come. He had to "believe" it could happen. But where and how would he start? For the moment, he just wished he was spending Christmas with Liv and not in Santa Barbara.

Olivia POV; Christmas Eve

Olivia was getting dressed at her apartment now. She was having a hard time deciding what to wear. It was chilly outside, in the 30's. The weather report said something of a chance of snow tonight. It's Christmas Eve and that would make the night just about perfect. The only thing that would truly make it perfect for her however was having Fitz with her too.

She pushed the thoughts of him with his family out of her head and picked out a long deep red-velvet dress. It went just below her knees. It was tighter on top that made her "girls" look perfect and the bottom of the dressed fanned out from her hips. On the bottom of the dress the hem bunched out and had ruffles. She put on her nylons and black 4 inch heeled boots to compliment the outfit. The dress was also long sleeved that would help keep her warm.

She straightened her hair and had just curls on the bottom going upwards. She could not remember that the last time she wore her hair this way if ever. Around her neck she wore one of her "Open Hearts" necklaces and earrings to match. Fitz gave them to her "first" Valentine's day before she resigned. It gave her comfort to be wearing these now. It was like he was going to with her on the train.

She got her purse together, and placed the Polar Express tickets inside. She put on her white jacket, and a red scarf to make herself feel more festive. She also placed a red beret on her head. She thought about grabbing the presents under the tree but decided to wait until tomorrow.

/

On the drive over to Abby's house she was listening to Christmas carols. The local radio stations were non-stop now. It was when her favorite song came on that a lone tear slid down her cheek. It was "Believe," the song for the Polar Express;

"Children, sleeping.
Snow is softly falling.
Dreams are calling,
Like bells in the distance.
We were dreamers,
Not so long ago.
But one by one, we
All had to grow up.

When it seems the magic slipped away...
We find it all again on Christmas Day.

Believe in what your heart is saying,
Hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
There so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
Give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need, if you just believe."

(Believe by Josh Groban…The Polar Express)

As the song played on, she finally had to pull the car over because the tears were coming down her face now. She remembered the Christmas he gave her "Teddy" bear and how the movie came on after she gave him his "Charlie Brown Tree." Every word of the song stung her heart and made her ache for Fitz more. She had not expected it, the ache of missing him to be anything like this. She had not seen him person since the summer or even spoke to him. The only time she saw him was on the TV.

At this very moment she wished was sitting was him, by the Christmas tree. She would be snuggled up in his arms where she belonged. The words he said to her "A man who's not President has options. A man who's not President can divorce his wife, and have the life he's always wanted with the woman he loves." If she had let him to that, this Christmas she would have/could have been with him. Maybe they would have been married and a baby on the way by now.

Her heart was telling her that with him is where she belonged. "I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you. I can't breathe without you. I belong to you." She meant those words in the rose garden that day. More so, she still means them. She has wasted so much time away from him and wished that she could magically turn back time and meet him before he was married and the Leader of the Free World.

"Seeing is believing," she thought. She wished she could see him, touch him, tell him how much she still wanted him. She only thought of him. The only thing she wanted this Christmas was to be with the man she loved. The man she belonged too. I can't be a better woman without him. I can't exist without him. I exist for him.

Once the song stopped she wiped her tears away and finished the drive to Abby's. She told herself she was not going to miss Fitz like this tonight but that did not happen. She finally made it to Abby's and tried to put Fitz out her mind. She had lost him for good and dwelling on was not going to help matters.

It was Christmas Eve and a time for friends, family, and those you love most. Even though the ONE she loved most was not with her. He was in her heart. Tonight that would have to be enough.

She entered Abby's apartment and could smell cinnamon, a ham cooking, pumpkin, and all the other holiday smells. Everyone was there waiting for her. Abby made a fantastic dinner and of course baked a ton of cookies. By the time everyone ate and cleaned up from the meal it was time to head to the Polar Express. They piled into two cars and headed their way to the station. She had not been on a train since a child and that was the perfect gift from which ever client had sent them these special "tickets to ride." Now that was something to smile about…finally.

/

Hello Holiday Pumpkins. I hope you enjoyed this next punch on your ticket to ride on the "Olitz Express." I know you all want to know which client sent those genuine tickets but it's coming I promise.

I hope your enjoyed Liv and Fitz's gifts they gave to one another and what each one of them is going through. The holidays are hard when you can't be with the person you love. I also thought it was important to see that sweet gift exchange. It's only going to get better from here once they all board the train.

The next chapter they meet the "Conductor," and start on their journey to the North Pole. Don't get off the train yet my little "pumpkins," the journey has just begun.

Merry Christmas and enjoy your ride on the "OLITZ" Express..

Peace, Luv and Pumpkins…

ME's