This post my beta reader couldn't review because she is travelling, since English is not my first language probably I won't see some mistakes, so, I am sorry. I hope you enjoy. Next chapter I will post this week! Reviews are always appreciated.

I woke up hangover and feelings that I was just waiting for the day of my death and although I sometimes felt this way I never ever thought about ending my life, I was not strong enough to do it, I didn't have the guts to do it.

While waiting to the coffee get ready and help my hangover, I made a mental list of everything I had to do:

Go out with Peter

Not think about Richard Castle

And that was about it; it was going to be an empty day, these were always the worst where you have a lot of free time so everything bad about you or your life comes to mind.

While waiting for Peter to call me with a plan to our day I started looking at my cell phone and if a stare could set something on fire, my cell phone would have been turned to ashes, because I couldn't stop looking at it and wishing that Richard Castle would call me. I started thinking that maybe Richard wasn't going to call anymore, maybe he gave up because I was almost a married woman or he thought about my face again and saw that I wasn't that good looking or maybe he came to the conclusion that I wasn't good enough…. My mind could go on forever; probably is a problem a lot of people have: over analyze everything that happens in their life.

Two hours after I woke up and was feeling a little bit better Peter called, asking me out for lunch at Loeb Boathouse, an excellent choice since the day was sunny but not hot.

Seeing Peter after a week didn't bring any strong emotions, was like seeing someone that you care but didn't have a lot of affection towards but Peter react like I just gave him the best present ever and most times when I saw peter so happy because of my presence I felt guilt, I didn't understand why his happiness was so linked with my presence in his life, I was never a good girlfriend, never a good friend to him and never that pleasant and he was such a good person, good looking and always so attentive towards me and my problems, probably he was trying to save me, but I didn't need a hero I needed someone that would light up my world and make me feel that I belonged with that person and he wasn't that person, sadly.

I always thought that if I found someone to call home I wouldn't be this depressed, after being left by my mom (wasn't her option but happened) and by my dad I lost the feeling of home. I traveled around the world trying to find it again but never found so I just gave up.

Peter couldn't stop talking about his week, probably a new interesting patient; these days almost everybody had some kind of mental illness and when I said that society was sick nobody believed in me, stupid people who couldn't look around them.

"So, when do you want to start planning the wedding?" Peter said almost hesitant of his question.

"I really don't know, I will look at my calendar and see when I have some time" I said in my sweetest voice, I knew I couldn't put it on hold forever, we have been engaged for a year and Peter or I never said anything about it.

"That's okay, take your time, my mother already started asking when the wedding is going to be and realize that we really never talked about it and I can't wait to call you my wife, so find some time, you know, I don't care about how much you spend if you want I can pay for all"

"Peter, you know I am rich, I can pay my own wedding, thank you." I always hated when Peter offered to pay things for me like I was a charity case who needed his money. Which I was not.

"I know Kate, I just want you to be happy, you know that and if paying for our wedding will make you happy, then I will do it. We talked about it already baby, you don't have to always be armed and ready to fight back every time you meet with me or anyone else for that matter."

"Peter, you know that I hate when you analyze." I said with an irritated voice.

"I know baby, I wasn't analyzing you, I was just saying what your therapist said when we did couple therapy." He said with a condescending voice like he was talking with a child.

"Okay, I got it, can we please just order?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"I want Steak Frites with coke please" I said already handing the menu for the waiter.

"And I want Lemon-Oregano Crusted Salmon with soda" Peter had something against red meat that I never fully understood.

We sat there in a comfortable silence, which was some of the things that I loved the most about Peter; we could sit in silence for hours without anyone being uncomfortable about it.

People usually feel the need to feel the silence with thousands of words that are empty; they just keep talking bullshit because the silence makes them uncomfortable like it could hurt, maybe just because the silence screams the truth, it shows the imperfections of their not-so-perfect life, but I loved the silence.

Like we sat in a comfortable silence while waiting for the food, we ate in a comfortable silence that day and because of this I remembered why I loved Peter and why I was going to marry him; he didn't push me. He accepted everything I had to give with a big smile in his face like I didn't have to be so gentle, or to have sex with him, or that I didn't have to go out with him and maybe that was his biggest mistake, because I knew that he wouldn't push me I gave him the scraps of myself.

That night we went back to his place, we ate strawberry while watching TV and laughed together; in bed we made love for the first time in a week after we stayed in bed with our comfortable silence as company while Peter would pass the tip of his fingers on my scars repeating that he loved me so much, I felt contented and loved.

In the morning we made love again and I found myself realizing that I really missed Peter's touch, he was always really gentle.

I cooked lunch for us and we ate watching crap programs on the TV, Peter always liked staying at home on Sunday, I never really understood why, I loved staying at home but Sunday was the last day I wanted to stay in, it is always an amazing day to walk around since the city is almost empty.

When we were lying down Peter usually would pass his fingers through my long hair, and that day wasn't different, I liked it, gave me that feeling of being loved that I usually craved so much from people, looking into my eyes he said:

"Baby, you know that I love you very much, don't you?"

"Yes Peter I know and you know that I love you very much too, don't you?" I said still looking in his eyes.

"Yes Kate, I know." And with that he looked back to the TV ending the weird subject.

Later when I was packing my things to go home, Peter handed me an invitation:

"Peter what is this?" I asked looking the invitation inviting us for a birthday party of a person that the name I couldn't recognize.

"It is an invitation for the birthday parties of my niece remember her? We saw her last Christmas, she is a redhead, and she is going to make 6 years, my sister gave me the invitation Friday, the party is Wednesday in the afternoon and I know you are a busy person but could you please make time?"

"Peter, I will do my best, but why Wednesday? People have to work!" I said a little impatient with the situation.

"The kids are on vacation, and a lot of the mothers don't work and you know how Sarah likes to do the party at the exactly day of the birthday."

"Okay, sure, I will be there and I will drive myself, you can go from practice and I will go from the office." I said already going to the door.

"Sure, please don't be late, everybody will be there and you know how my family complains that you work too much. I understand that is your job and you love it but everybody doesn't." Peter said walking with me to the door.

"I won't be late, I promise. Bye, love you" I said kissing him.

"Love you too."

When I was entering on my car my cell phone ringed and a number that I didn't know appear on my screen, my heart started racing because I knew who probably was. Richard Castle.