Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Chapter Two

And I, I, I love the mayhem more than the love

And oh, baby, when they made me they broke the mould

-Fall Out Boy, "Coffee's For Closers"

xxx

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!"

"What? Home already, sweetie?"

"Kill me now!" Sanji flopped on the nearest couch and buried his face in his hands, rubbing his temples irritably.

"Nobody told you we were roommates, huh?" Zoro strode from the kitchen, the most annoying ear-splitting grin on his face.

"Ugh. Why can't the old geezer let me stay at the restaurant? Why an apartment with…with…you?!" he groaned and leant back, his head resting on the back of the couch.

"Hey, it's not so bad. I mean sure, there's only one bedroom and one bathroom, but…"

"WHAT?!"

"There're two beds, so stop freaking out. Although, from what I know, you shouldn't be the one squirming in your boots about sleeping with another guy…"

"Will you quit with that? I love women, remember?"

"And Ace…"

"Ace was…Ace was an experiment," Sanji finally admitted. "We both needed it, and we both enjoyed it, but we both knew it was never going to last."

"Well, at least you picked a handsome one," Zoro grunted.

"Hey, my pride couldn't stand it if I had to sleep with anyone less attractive than myself," Sanji smirked, crossing his legs before pulling out a cigarette.

"You're lucky I'm letting you smoke those death sticks in the house," Zoro grunted.

"I'm an addict, Zoro," Sanji said matter-of-factly. "I've tried to quit, but I can't. Withdrawal is sure to be worse than anything that's happened yet."

"And when your lungs tar up and you end up breathing through a tube?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you'll just have one less annoyance then, won't you?" Sanji shrugged, lighting up. "Hey. You going out tonight?"

"I never go out."

"Che. Spoilsport."

"You go, have fun," Zoro grunted.

"What are you, a caveman? 'You go. Me stay home.' Honestly."

"I'm not a party person. I don't like to dance. I drink all I want to here," Zoro rattled off. "But get going."

"Fine. But you can't say I didn't ask."

"I won't."

000

Zoro's alarm woke him up the next morning, and he grumbled as he slammed his fist down on the clock. And promptly fell back asleep. When he finally woke up again, he chanced a glance at the clock. 8:30. Wonderful. He hated morning classes. Add to that the fact that he should have been out training at 6:00 and you get a rather irritated young man. His trainer was going to have his head for this, that's for sure. Stumbling out of bed, he forgot the addition of a roommate as he neglected to put on anything other than his boxers and a tight-fitting muscle-shirt on his way to the bathroom.

But when he moved to open the door and caught the unmistakeable sound of retching on the other side, yesterday came back to him with sickening clarity. Sanji. Great. Idiot probably got himself dead drunk, banged some chick, and then came home to throw up in Zoro's toilet. He pushed open the door and entered, ignoring the man bent forlornly over the toilet bowl as he grabbed his toothbrush. "I kind of have to go. D'you mind moving?"

Sanji turned to glare at him, but he hunched forward again a moment later and continued to expel everything in his stomach. Zoro sighed and moved behind him, feeling like some sort of fool as he pulled Sanji's long bangs back and held him steady. He could feel the blonde shaking under his fingertips, his skin clammy, and beneath the smell of vomit was the unmistakeable stench of too much strong alcohol and sex. "Really had to go all out, didn't you?" he muttered.

"Sha'up," was the slurred response, and Zoro contemplated letting him fall into the toilet before he decided against it.

"Who was she, love-cook?"

"Dunno. Was hot, though," Sanji reflected after a moment before sagging back in Zoro's arms. "Mmm…you're warm."

"Yeah. Now get offa me, I've got to go to school," Zoro tried to push the cook off, but he merely sagged back in a boneless heap. "Oh, fine," he picked Sanji up, noting the blonde weighed next to nothing, and carried him into the shared bedroom. "You done throwing up, or you want a garbage can?"

"Can," was the weak response, and Zoro drug the small blue can over. "Anything else, your highness?"

"Water?" Sanji sounded hopeful.

"Give me a second," Zoro remembered something and headed to the washroom, pulling out a bottle of pills Chopper had given him. He had sniped at the boy for days because, 'darn it, Chopper, I don't get hangovers!' but now it looked like it was a good thing to have on-hand after all. He got a glass from the kitchen and filled it before coming back to the bedroom. "Oi."

"Hmm?" Sanji opened his eyes, bloodshot and unfocussed, and Zoro plopped the glass on the bedside table. "Here. Take one of these."

"Wha' are they?"

"Hangover pills. Chopper gave them to me, but I don't need them."

"Lucky." Sanji weakly sat up and took the pill before collapsing again. "Zoro?"

"What?"

"I don't think I'm going to class today."

"No kidding."

"Okay," Sanji breathed out through his nose. "Aw, darn it all."

"What?"

"I've gotta work tonight," he groaned.

"None of this was my fault, so I don't really care," Zoro said with a smirk.

"Mmhmm."

"Look, just…go to sleep," Zoro sighed and rubbed his temples. "Make yourself some soup or something if you're feeling better." He turned to walk out the door.

"Hey, Zoro?"

"What?"

"Thank you," Sanji smiled weakly at him.

"Yeah; yeah. And take a shower. My apartment smells like puke."

000

"Welcome back."

Zoro looked up when he came in. Sanji was seated at the table, legs crossed under him as he read the newspaper. He glanced up at Zoro and offered a half-smile, hair still tousled and dressed in a faded old t-shirt (with the word 'gentlecook' across the chest in white letters, the younger man noticed with a bit of a smirk. Some of Sanji's Japanese friends obviously had a sense of humor, at least, because Zoro was willing to be money that Sanji wouldn't have bought that on his own) and sweats. Zoro was mildly surprised at his appearance, figuring that with how picky the blonde was about how he looked he wouldn't have let a little hangover stop him, but Zoro took a closer look at him and realized that this went far beyond normal hangover symptoms. It had been hours, and the cook was still white as a sheet and looking absolutely miserable. "How are you?"

"Better," he removed his glasses and placed them on the table, and although Zoro wasn't going to make a comment about how he certainly didn't look better, it didn't mean he wasn't tempted. "How was school, handsome?"

"Don't toy with me," Zoro glared at the other man, who laughed weakly. "You're going to work?"

"Zeff'll beat me if I don't. But I barely have energy to stand up," Sanji demonstrated by wobbling and grabbing the table as his legs threatened to buckle.

"Tell him you've got the flu. I wouldn't doubt it," Zoro finally admitted, voicing his suspicious. "You're far too ill for it to just be a hangover."

"Jetlag?"

"Probably," Zoro agreed. "Jetlag and culture shock. He should give you a few days to get settled."

"Will you phone him, Zoro?" Sanji closed his eyes. "I just…can't deal with him right now. Tell him I'll be in on the weekend."

"Oh, fine," Zoro grudgingly picked up and the phone and made the call, listening to the old chef prattle on about 'youth these days and not knowing responsibility' and something about an eggplant that he wasn't sure he wanted to know. When he had finally hung up and returned to the kitchen, Sanji was dozing on the tabletop. "Hey. Wanna watch some TV?"

"Anything," Sanji agreed, letting Zoro carry him to the couch. He should have minded carting the slender man around, but he weighted next to nothing. And besides, he had skipped out on the gym earlier, so the least he could do was get a little extra weight training in. "What's on?"

"Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy," Zoro shrugged.

"Haven't watched those in forever," Sanji snagged a throw from the couch and threw it around his shoulders, burrowing into the warmth. "Wanna play me?"

"You're sick."

"I'll still beat you," Sanji grinned. "And then I'll make supper."

"You're sick!"

"Soup."

"Fine." Zoro sat beside the other man and observed him, noting the way his slender fingers curled around the edge of the blanket and the way he chewed on his bottom lip even when he didn't have a cigarette in his mouth.

"Hey," Sanji turned. "What are you staring at?"

"Nothing," Zoro shrugged. "Anything happen after I left? Do I need to change the bag in that garbage can?"

"It can wait," Sanji huddled farther into the blanket, but the slight blush on his cheeks told Zoro that he had spent at least a little more time curled over the garbage can. "Come on, are we playing, or what?"

"I guess," Zoro shrugged in agreement as Sanji shivered once more. "Oi, you still cold?"

"A little," Sanji admitted, scooting closer to Zoro and unceremoniously using him as a pillow.

"Hey!"

"You're warm, I'm not. Deal with it," Sanji muttered.

"You're going to infect me."

"Like heck. It's probably not even the flu," the blonde shrugged. Zoro finally accepted it and put his arm around Sanji's thin shoulders, noting the rather evident of smell of vanilla and spice hovering around him.

"You took a shower."

"You can tell?"

"You don't smell like puke anymore," Zoro grunted.

"Well, good. 'Thermal Blanket.' Mm, wish I had one of those right now," he glanced up at 'Wheel of Fortune' and answered the puzzle before bringing his feet under the blanket and nearly putting all of his weight on Zoro.

A knock on the door made him twitch, but he just glanced up at Zoro, who called, "Who is it?"

"Robin," a woman's smooth alto came through the door.

"Come in," he replied, and Robin entered before coming over to the couch.

"Hello, Sanji."

"Robin, my darling," Sanji gazed at her and smiled. "It's been far too long. I'd give you a proper welcome, but I seem to have contracted some sort of mild flu, so perhaps it's best if I save that for a couple of days."

"Of course," she laughed and patted him on the head. "At least Zoro here is taking care of you."

"Actually, all he's done is throw a garbage can at me and tell me to shower," Sanji returned, wrinkling his nose as Robin chuckled. "So, what's this I hear about you and Franky?"

"Who told you already?" Robin turned an appraising eye on him. She was one of the few people that knew he and Ace had had some sort of relationship, and Sanji always felt comfortable talking to the older woman. Of course, it was impossible to hide anything from her, but now Zoro had proven that apparently Ace had failed once again at keeping his big mouth shut if the green-haired man knew what they had been up to before Sanji had left. He didn't care that much, knowing that his circle of friends was more than accepting, and as long as the women he tried to hit on in clubs hadn't heard, he could live with it. "Ace?" she queried.

"Yeah," Sanji admitted. "He was the first one I ran into…or, he found me, I guess."

"And then they had hot sex in the bathroom," Zoro grunted.

"No," Sanji rolled his eyes. "It was close, though."

"Queer."

"And yet you're hugging me."

"At least that's not contagious," Zoro added, earning himself a smack on the head. "Hey, I really don't care, alright? Ace is a good guy, so…"

"And me?" Sanji raised his oddly-curled eyebrow.

"You're…tolerable," Zoro finally admitted. "I just thought you'd spend every waking moment trying to get on my nerves, but…you've grown up."

"So have you," Sanji conceded.

"It's nice to see you two getting along," Robin commented.

"Oh, you forgot something I did for you, love-cook," Zoro put in.

"What?"

"Held your hair while you puked your guts out."

Sanji turned bright red and gave Zoro a feeble shove. "Shut up!"

"I'm just glad you didn't get sick while you were sexing up that chick last night," was the response.

"Shove it, Marimo," Sanji glared at him while Robin burst out into laughter.

"Such an appropriate name," she commented, hiding her smile behind her hand.

"Robin is so smart to know what that means!" Sanji barely had the energy to wiggle, but Zoro was grateful that that seemed to be the extent of it and no hearts were suddenly materializing out of thin air.

Robin chuckled at the display before asking, "When do you go back to work, Sanji?"

"I was supposed to today, but…" he shrugged helplessly. "Zoro convinced me to take the night off."

"You're acting like a couple already," Robin continued to smile, noting that Sanji blushed deeper and even Zoro's face was a bit red. "Oh, I completely approve," she nodded. "Nami and the other girls will probably think it's cute."

"No doubt," Zoro muttered. "Except we're not a couple. Lover-boy here still has the hots for Portgas."

"Ace and I are pretty much done. Yeah, we care about each other, but it's not any deeper than that. We're good friends," Sanji explained. "And Miyako…my girlfriend from Japan…both of us knew it was over as soon as I left, too."

"You had a girlfriend?"

"I'm bisexual," Sanji admitted. "I mean, I've never really thought of it that way, but I guess that's it. Right?"

"Meh. Whatever," Zoro shrugged and pulled Sanji closer. "You're still an annoying twit, you know?"

"The feeling's mutual, moss-head," Sanji retorted.

"Well, I shall leave the two of you alone, then," Robin cut in. "I was wondering if you wanted to come to lunch down at the harbour this weekend? I was thinking of inviting everybody back from high school since you are back in town, Sanji."

"That'd be wonderful, Robin," Sanji replied truthfully. "I saw most of them yesterday, but we didn't get to talk for long!"

"Wonderful. I shall call you with the details later in the week. Feel better," she smiled at them again before swiftly leaving, and Sanji yawned.

"You hungry?" Zoro asked.

"More tired than anything," he admitted.

"Come on, then," Zoro stood and lifted Sanji gently so that he could carry him to the bedroom and set him on the bed. "Get some rest."

"Okay, Mom."

Zoro couldn't help but smile at the snarky nickname, and he patted the other man's golden hair.

"Hands off the hair."

"Go to sleep." Zoro countered before picking up the garbage can and leaving the room.

000

Sanji woke up sometime later, the room dark as he groped for his phone and flipped it open. 11:30. He was about to roll over and go to sleep again when the door creaked open and one of the floor lamps was turned on. "Zoro?"

"Yeah. I'm just going to bed," the other man replied, and Sanji rolled over to look at him before his eyes widened.

"Zoro?"

"What?"

"Where did you get that…I mean…you look like somebody tried to slice you open with a butcher's knife!"

Zoro glanced down at his chest and shrugged, remembering that Sanji hadn't been around for the last two years. "It happened not too long after you left. I was at a competition and decided to fight this guy…they call him Hawk-Eye…with real swords. It was stupid, but I thought I could beat him. I was wrong," Zoro stated coldly.

"Holy…" Sanji breathed out, his eyes still roving over the massive scar. He had known that Zoro was proficient in Kendou and had even heard rumors that the other man had honest-to-goodness katana in his possession, but he'd never personally seen him fight.

"I know. It's not pretty, is it?" Zoro sighed and sat down on the bed, towelling his wet hair. "But I swear that one day I'm going to beat him. I just got back from the gym where I train."

"Oh."

"You still doing that…what's it called…Capoeira stuff?"

"Yeah," Sanji admitted, inwardly surprised that not only did Zoro remember that he did it, but he also remembered the name. "Most people in Japan have never heard of Brazilian martial arts, but I practiced whenever I could."

"We'll have to spar sometime."

"Yeah," Sanji said again, wondering at the fact that two years ago he and Zoro never spoke to each other unless it was to insult, and now they were having a normal…if slightly awkward…conversation.

"What time's your class tomorrow?"

"Ten," Sanji groaned.

"Want me to wake you?"

"What? Don't think I can set my own alarm?"

"I usually get up at six to train, but I slept in today. Something about getting an annoying roommate must have tired me out. So what, seven, then? Three hours enough time to get your pretty hair in order?"

"Screw you," Sanji flopped onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.

"You only wish."

"Ha-ha."

"Goodnight, idiot."

"Yeah. 'Night, Zoro."

000

"Hey, sunshine, wake up," Zoro shook his shoulder. "8:30. Up."

"Mmph."

"You've slept for like fourteen hours!"

"Jetlag," was the growl.

"Well, up and at 'em. I've got a class at eleven, so we can go together if you want."

"Like I'd want to travel anywhere with you," Sanji yawned and finally sat up, his hair sleep-tousled.

"Get up," Zoro nudged him in the side with his foot. "What d'you want for breakfast?"

"Urgh. Nothing right now," Sanji wrinkled his nose. "My stomach still doesn't like me."

"Fine. Hurry up."

He stomped out and Sanji rolled out of bed before slouching off to the bathroom and getting ready to face the day. Exiting the shower, he wrapped a towel around his hair and one around his waist before heading back to the bedroom, only to run into Zoro leaving the room. "You're scrawny," was the swordsman's succinct statement.

"I'm just as tough as you are. My muscles don't need to stick out all across town to mean I have them," he growled in response.

"Your legs are hairy."

"Yes; well," Sanji shrugged. "What's your point? At least I have hair where it matters."

"Is that a challenge, cook?"

"Pervert," Sanji chucked the towel from his hair at Zoro, who laughed as he caught it. "Oh, shut up. So what if I have hairy legs?"

"Nothing. It's very manly." Zoro was still chortling.

Sanji rolled his eyes and shoved past Zoro into the room, ruffling Zoro's hair as he did so. "Can you leave so I can get dressed in peace?"

"Afraid, love-cook? Not as impressive as you claim?"

"I don't want to embarrass you," Sanji shot back before closing the door. He got dressed and walked back out, buttoning up his tight-fitting dress shirt while letting the top two buttons remain open.

"Hey, sex-kitten," Zoro glanced up and rolled his eyes. "Open it more, why don't you?"

"You're just jealous," Sanji picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Of course. I'm not sure I want to travel with you now," Zoro mentioned. "People will think you're my paid whore."

"Zoro!" Sanji gave him a slight shove in the chest.

"I'm joking, idiot," Zoro grabbed his hand and forced it away. "Look, let's just go or we'll be late."

"Sounds good," Sanji agreed as they left. "Your car or mine?"

"Mine. Yours is some little sports car I won't even fit into," Zoro grunted.

Sanji nodded his agreement as they walked out of the apartment. He had noticed that his black convertible was parked outside and inwardly thanked Zeff for not selling it (the old geezer had never approved), although he would probably need some practice before he could drive again. He had never bothered with a car in Japan; the densha had run straight from his temporary living quarters on-campus to the university. Even so, it still freaked him out sometimes to see people driving on what he considered to be the 'wrong side' of the road. Patting the hood of his car as he walked by, he let Zoro lead him to a Honda Element parked in the next stall. "Aw, it's green like your hair!"

"Shut up. You were probably going to say something about how ugly it is, too, weren't you?"

"I've been in one before. Once you see the inside, the outside doesn't matter," Sanji hopped into the passenger's seat and flipped through the CD folder he found laying around as Zoro pondered his last statement. Did he really mean it at face value, or… "You've got good taste in music, at least."

"Thanks, I guess," Zoro shrugged.

They rode most of the way in silence. "So, what class do you have?" Zoro asked once they had parked.

"Some business and economics thing," Sanji shrugged. "Probably going to be boring as heck, but I need it for my degree. And you?"

"Phys Ed," Zoro smirked.

"Hooray, more training," Sanji rolled his eyes. "What time are you done?"

"Noon. You wanna go for lunch or something?"

"Yeah. Sure," Sanji tossed his cigarette into an ashtray as they entered the main hall. "I'm grabbing some tea before class. Want anything?"

"Too early for that stuff," Zoro grumbled before accompanying him anyway. Sanji bought his tea and walked to the classroom with Zoro following. "Here's my room. See you at lunch?"

"Yeah." Zoro scratched his head, looking incredibly awkward.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"You're not half-bad," Sanji winked at him before slipping into the classroom, and Zoro merely stared after him, a completely dumbstruck look on his face.

Notes on the Chapter:

1. Where I grew up, 'Wheel of Fortune' and 'Jeopardy' were on every night between 5 and 6, so I just inserted the time slot in here to make sense.

2. I realize that in a lot of fics I've read Sanji studies Savate, but I wanted to change it up a bit. Capoeira is getting to be quite popular in Canada, with classes offered (and even a routine on the last season of 'So You Think You Can Dance) and in watching demonstrations the fluidity of the movement and the types of choreographed footwork that the athletes perform seem to really fit with how Sanji moves in the show, despite the fact that his attacks are mostly in French. Just in case anyone was wondering!

3. I feel perfectly justified calling Elements ugly because I own one. My friends affectionately call it 'The Box,' and frankly the fact that it's so square has saved my butt a lot when people decide to cut me off. But I wouldn't trade it in for anything:)

And a note to Paloma: Ace is honestly only Sanji's ex in the two major fics I've written. Most of the other ones I've dabbled with but never posted are straight ZoSan, and despite my attempts to write a plain old AceSan I can't seem to do it without Zoro getting in there somewhere.

Hope everyone enjoyed! And drop me a review on the way out!