Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)

I woke up with the sound of my bell ringing without a chance to rest, I waited in bed for more 10 minutes looking at my ceiling and wishing that however was at my door would give up. After the 10 minutes was clear to me that the person was really set in his, or her, idea of seeing me.

I got out of the bed and searched for my silk robes, none of my favorites was near so I just grabbed one of the silk robes Peter had gave me a few years back, maybe I should throw away everything that he had ever gave me, right? Or maybe not, he gave me a few things that I liked very much. I stood a few minutes in the middle of my room trying to think if I should or should not throw his gifts away; the ringing bell made me decide by not throwing anything away, I would keep all the things as a souvenirs. I walked to the door almost afraid of who I was going to see on the other side, the last time someone was so eager to see me was the day Peter showed me the newspaper with Castle and I as an article; not a memory I liked that much.

I opened the door not sure who I would be waiting for, when I looked who it was; I was not sure if I should be happy or sad or even something. We stood there looking at each other maybe trying to think what we should say; since I was not the one that drove to see the other I just looked at her with expectancy but didn't make a movement to invite her inside or to be the first one to break the silence. I just stood there in the silk robe that her brother a few years back gave me, with my feet bare and with my hair a messy. Probably not the look I wanted to present the first time I saw my ex-sister-in-law.

"Eh… I had all this speech prepared to you and that was why I was ringing you bell like crazy. Sorry about that by the way. I was really mad at you but now that I saw you I don't have anything to say and I realized that I am not mad." She said to me, playing with her necklace and with her cheeks burning.

"Well, do you want me to just close the door Sarah? So, we can pretend that you never came here. Or do you want to come inside and have a cup of coffee?" I said trying not to sound too cold, I liked Sarah.

"Maybe I could have a cup of coffee? Do you mind? Is this too weird?" She asked looking at me worried.

"I don't know Sarah, if you don't feel like you are cheating your brother, come inside." I said walking towards the kitchen and leaving the front door open. When I looked behind me I could see her slowly entering my apartment looking around, taking her surrounding in, making sure that she and I were alright with what was happening.

"I forget to ask; maybe you have c-company? Do you want me to leave?" She said worried when she saw a male t-shirt on the floor next to my sofa.

"No, I don't have anybody here. The t-shirt is mine that I stole from some boy a lot of years ago."

"Oh, alright then, but if you had I wouldn't have a problem since you and Peter are broke up and everything."

"Sarah, I didn't have the time or the need to go out to find someone. Sit down, I will bring coffee shortly; I don't have nothing to eat so if you want to eat we can go somewhere later."

"Coffee is fine for now."

"Okay."

Sarah sat at the little table that I had in the kitchen, and looked at me. We both stood there with just the noisy of the coffee maker afraid that if we said something could break the peace that we had going on. When the coffee was ready and we were both with a cup of coffee we sat and the dining table; the silence prolonged for a few more minutes, but I couldn't take it anymore.

"Sarah, just say whatever you want to say to me. Get it out of your chest already."

"I just really have questions; I am not here to scream at you or anything. I mean, I came here to scream and you, I even had this speech prepared on my mind. But this stuff wasn't your entire fault, and even if it was I can't make you love my brother or anything. But I wouldn't be surprised if Margaret showed up to scream at you, she is pissed that you broke off everything."

"And are you pissed?"

"I am little pissed that you broke my brother's heart but maybe was for the best." She said with a sad and took another sip of her coffee.

"You can start the questions you want to make Sarah; I won't kill you or throw you out or something like that."

"Thank god." She breathed. "Hum… why did you break it off?"

"I didn't love your brother anymore."

"Okay, that is a valid reason. Are you in love with your friend that you brought when we went out? That is why you are not in love with Peter anymore? Are you in love with someone else?" She said with her voice almost a whisper and her eyes shining with tears; I realized that she was afraid of the answer.

"Of course I am not Sarah."

"Okay, I was worried. You know, when the article came out I defended you for all the family, I said I was there with you guys and wasn't like that, like the article made appear to be."

"I appreciate a lot; it's a shame that in the end it didn't matter. Your brother got very jealous with it, it was impossible for us to stay together. I didn't love him but in end I would marry him, I am the kind of person that I accommodate, if something is good, I stay just because is easier, it's not a pretty thing, but is the truth. When the article came out your brother went crazy, I couldn't tolerate him anymore, so that was also one of the reason I broke everything off."

"I am sorry Kate, about everything. For what we put you through, for how Peter treated you and didn't trust you even after you and I established that nothing really happened, also we were mean to you since you entered the family, to be sincere I thought you lasted a long time, I never thought you guys would really marry, but I wished you would. I really like you."

"I really like you too Sarah." I said squeezing her hand that rested near my hand on the table. I almost felt guilty, the end could be almost be Peter's fault but I wasn't the victim in everything either.

"Can we still be friends? But only if it isn't weird for you." She said squeezing my hand back.

"It would make me very happy if we could be friends." I said smiling sweetly at her.

"I am glad. I don't want to impose my presence anymore; I have a few things to do and I am sure you have too."

"Yeah, I have a few things; but we can meet for lunch next week if you want."

"I would love too!"

"Well, I would love it too. Give me a call later next week and we can arrange it."

"Okay, thank you so much Kate for being so nice to me." She said while we both got up to say the goodbyes.

"Sarah, you don't need to thank me. I was to the one who broke off everything; I am the one who should be glad that you are being nice to me."

"I am not angry, is better to end things before the weeding. We both know that it would end up pretty bad, it is better now that is easier than go further in the road."

"Yeah, you are right. Thank you so much for coming Sarah. Bye!" I said opening the door and kissing her cheeks.

"Bye!"

I walked to the big balcony that I had on my apartment, it being one of the reasons I bought the apartment. I loved to be outside, see the streets, the people walking around. I always loved to trying to figure out what was their story behind their faces. Who was broke inside? Who was happy? Who was content with the life he or she had? The world, the people always fascinated me; maybe was because I was such an outsider. I didn't fit correctly anywhere, I almost fit but in the end I realized that it was an illusion, I was just trying to make myself feel better thinking that I fitted; in the end of the day we are all alone, aren't we?

That was why one of my dreams was that we could communicate with the dead, just to be sure that there, in the other side, was worst than here so we couldn't tempt our self with the thought of suicide.

I stayed at the balcony looking at the people under me, from my balcony it all appear to be so tinny, so fragile. I looked around, to those skyscraper, to the rush of the people, to the birds that sometime flew by me and that moment I felt something that I read about it once but had never really felt:

"I felt lonely and content at the same time. I believe that is a rare kind of happiness."

When I remembered that quote from Bag of bones, a book that I read so many moons ago, I smiled. I was finally happy, after such a long journey searching for it, I found without really trying too. I passed my fingers through my new word and I whispered to the world in front of me:

"It is the end of the search for happiness dear world, I finally found it." I looked below me, tempted to jump, like I always felt when I was in high places, turned my back at the world and went to take a shower.

Spoiler: next chapter we will have a little time jump where we will have the first kiss. See you in 3 days!

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